“Dude! The flashback did not take that long!”
I am – Hercules!!

I am not a big fan of the soaps! Never could be bothered with “Dallas” or “Dynasty.” Bored to tears by “Desperate Housewives.” Ditto “90210.” “Melrose Place” corralled into its cast some of the most beautiful women ever birthed, but the words – the words coming out of the hot girls’ mouths were so stale and clichéd and idiotic I could not stand to watch more than five minutes at a time. But “The OC” I loved. It was and is, as the kids used to say, funny as fuck. Loved it from day one, when Luke slugged Ryan Atwood and called him “bitch,” never stopped loving it through four relentlessly disparaged seasons. For me, there was never an episode devoid of entertainment value. And some episodes sent me into bawling fits, so strongly did I come to identify with these characters and their romantic travails. Series mastermind Josh Schwartz is one talented dude. (Note please that both his pilots – “Gossip Girl” at The CW and “Chuck” at NBC – just went to series for next fall.) Chief among “The OC’s” thespianic virtues we hail Adam Brody as indie-loving comic-book ubernerd Seth Cohen. Seth was always way more “Freaks & Geeks” than “One Tree Hill,” and Brody can get laughs out of the phone book. And I came to love Summer Roberts, the haughty object of his affection, just as aggressively. And yes, I came to love the grown-ups: Seth’s parents, the big-hearted Sandy and Kirsten Cohen, and scheming neighbors Jimmy and Julie Cooper. And I came to love a litany of characters who paraded in an out of Cohens’ lives. Summer and Fightin’ Ryan first and foremost, but also Anna Stern, Luke Ward, Theresa Diaz, Hayley Nichol, lesbianic Alex Kelly, Lindsay Gardner, Princess Sparkle and Captain Oats. I even liked Kevin Volchok, Caleb Nichol and Oliver Trask. Mostly because his name is almost Boliver Trask. You heard me! The club where all the underage kids hung out was called The Bait Shop!! This show also gave us Chrismukkah, which kicks Festivus hinder. Season four not only traded the show’s weakest element, Marissa Cooper, for the sassy Taylor (Autumn Reeser), it threw in the 15-year-old minicoop, bikini-loving Caitlin Cooper (Willa Holland), Luke’s fro-happy little brothers and Che (Chris Pratt), who enjoyed a little naked guitar strumming and thought he was maybe gay for Seth’s inner otter. There was also cage boxing and an alternative universe and an earthquake and a horny old cowboy billionaire named “Bullet.” At one point we got to see aging pretty-boy Peter Gallagher put the beatdown on Kevin Sorbo, Faux Hercules Himself. The hilarious and moving series finale seemed to end in Northern California with a male midwife and his wedding-planner boyfriend, but really ended by telescoping far into Seth, Summer and Ryan’s futures. Wallow in the new set’s many unaired scenes and featurettes.

I have not seen the Roots: 30th Anniversary Edition, nor have I seen “Roots” since it aired on ABC 30 years ago. I just wanted to throw a little love in the direction of John Amos, 67 now and one of America’s most underappreciated actors, who plays the older Kunta Kinte in the series. Amos did plenty of sraight dramatic stuff besides “Roots” - he played a biker in “Sweet Sweetback’s Badassssss Song,” a military musclehead in “Die Hard 2,” and the D.C. mayor in “The District,” but he’s in my hall of fame for his comic timing - hilarious as Gordy the weatherman on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” and as the dad on “Good Times” and as Admiral Fitzwallace on “West Wing.” And check out who else was in that first, Brando-free “Roots” cast. I guess we all remember that future “Trek” icon LaVar Burton played Young Kunta, but others rattling around in there included poet Maya Angelou (!), Bond villain Ji-Tu Cumbuka, O.J. Simpson (!), Ian McShane (!), Todd Bridges (!), Richard “Shaft” Roundtree (!), “The Brady Bunch’s” Mike Reed, “The Straight Story’s” Richard Farnsworth, “Alien” icon Yaphet Kotto, “Blade Runner” icon Brion James, “Galactica” icon Lorne Greene, “Mission Impossible’s” Lynda Day George, “The Addams Family’s” Carolyn Jones, “The Munsters’” Yvonne DeCarlo, future Klingon John Schuck, future “Twilight Zone” casualty Vic Morrow, “Welcome Back Kotter’s” Lawrence Hilton Jacobs, Ed Asner, Lou Gossett, Sandy Duncan (!),Scatman Crothers, Lloyd Bridges, Chuck Connors, Burl Ives and George Hamilton.
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