Well folks... You'll be seeing my commentary, as well as the results throughout the night. If you want to see what my predictions were... Go HERE!!! Otherwise... Here we go...

As the night goes... I'll be putting these in order of presentation etc...

The Barbara Walters Special....

Ya know what folks? So far... this Barbara Walters Special is really really really lame. Though I must admit that that platinium blonde hair of Elizabeth Taylor's is just.... kinda cool. I'm sort of imagining that this is what an older Jean Harlow would look like as an older woman... but with bigger eyes. It really is amazing she looks as good as she does... I'll never forget how gorgeous she looked in IVANHOE... God... It's so strange to hear Elizabeth talking about Brain Tumors and Child Abuse. 10 to 1, Barbara doesn't ask about that "OZ" film that Taylor is planning to come out of retirement for!

Boy... was that JURASSIC PARK theme park commercial cool or what?

The ACADEMY AWARDS are beginning... right after these damn commercials... God I hate useless commercials for cars... SPIKE LEE commercials are kinda trippy... but seeing him huckster PIZZA HUT is just weird....

HERE WE GO......

The host on the carpet is Geena Davis.... Boy... she looks gooooood, poor Renny... God, these intro things are just... ugh... Ahhh... Gwyneth Paltrow is looking fine in that pink thing.. Roberto... is he like usually insane? I really wish I would have loved LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL... but I just got the feeling throughout that film that it was Benigni trying to do Chaplin like he'd been trying to do Peter Sellers, and I didn't see anything that wasn't really in THE GREAT DICTATOR or THE KID... The romance didn't get me and the music didn't soar... KURT RUSSELL coooooool.

About 22 minutes till it starts... Wow... Helen Hunt is just stunning tonight. She's directing the last episode of MAD ABOUT YOU (co written by Helen, Paul Reiser and Vince Levin) Ooooh... I like this Oscar costume/gown design... Is anyone else noticing that the gown design of about 40 years ago are 100 times cooler... Lynn Redgrave!!!! God, I hope she wins... She so deserves it, and man... I'm gonna explode if Ian doesn't win Actor... Emily Watson is kinda weird looking tonight.. she's got this strange 50's hairdo... Tom Hanks is unshaved and scraggily looking. Coburn just oozes cool...what a voice... I've just been told on this damn OSCAR thing is Live... everywhere.. so this is probably useless... and nobody is reading this stuff...

Liv Tyler was cheated out of her award nomination for ARMAGEDDON... Curses... Damn evil voters... they never vote from the heart. But she is sitting just 2 seats from God. DAMN!!! Australia has 7 Academy Noms... Congrats guys! Kathy Bates is so good. I'd love to see her play Medea in a big budget film version! 10 minutes left... OHMYGOD this is gonna be a Disco night... did you see all those lights. OH NO... rehearsals for bad dance numbers!!! AGH!!!

Well at this point I got Loki and Lloyd reading... Man... does KODAK got the ad that kicks ass.... Absolutely... I think they should run that Academy ad... like during the year... KICK ASS the BRUCE WILLIS vs THE JEFFERSONS ad is super fucking cool!!!! 4 minutes left...

ALLLLLLLL RIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTT.... Here we gooooooo.....

The OSCAR CEREMONY BEGINS!!!!!

Aahhh Jennifer Lopez is soooooooo hot!!! The Keepers of the Oscar Ballots!!! Get em you spies!!! Send me the results!!! Hurry!!!

Here's WHOOPI!!! OH GOD!!! That ELIZABETH get up is outstanding!!!!! hahahaha.... "I'm the African Queen" hahahahaha.... GO IAN!!!! I don't care if it's long!

Go away Bob Raimi!!! Shoo... Stop talking... move along... Yeah.. We know the history of the damn Oscars! UH..OH... The THREE MOMENTS in film history.... WOW... here we gooo...

Modern Times, Nanook, M, Wings, All Quiet, Harold Lloyd, The General, The Jazz Singer, 42nd Street,. Anchors Aweigh, Yankee Doodle, Treasure , Saturdy night, Mary Poppins, Singing in the rain, Maltese Falcon, Bringing up Baby, God I wish I could type faster and think, Ah helll... I give up.... God I love THE QUIET MAN... Did someone really suggest 10? Damn... this is a shitload of clips!!!! Zhivago!!!! Yeah baby yeah... All About Eve.... JFK... Apollo 13, KING KONG.... KING KONG.... YEAH ... Come on where the hell is STAR WARS!!!!... ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD.... THERE YA ARE TOM JOAD!!!! Damn.... There Is STAR WARS!!!!! Close Encounters reminds me... I had a horrible incident at Regal Cinemas today... Read about it later...

God, this rap of hers is falling flat for me.... Chris Rock didn't even crack a smile! Much Nothing About A Do? Ugh!

Kim Basinger is presenting....

Actor in a Supporting Role

James Coburn in AFFLICTION
Robert Duvall in A CIVIL ACTION
Ed Harris in THE TRUMAN SHOW
Geoffrey Rush in SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE
Billy Bob Thornton in A SIMPLE PLAN

And the winner is..... JAMES COBURN...

Well those clips were pretty good! HOLY SHIT!!!!! I can't believe he won. 'Some of them you do for money... some of them you do for love... this was a lovechild' MY GOD... I was utterly convinced that Billy Bob owned this award. DAMMIT... But this is just like when Jack Palance won, but without the one arm pushups... I love it... but WOW... what a surprise! I wish they'd given him more time... Coburn is great, and hell... like we won't all watch!

Gwyneth Paltrow presents....

Art Direction

ELIZABETH (John Myhre, Peter Hewitt)
PLEASANTVILLE (Jeannine Oppewall, Jay Hart)
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Tom Sanders, Lisa Dean Kavanaugh)
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (Martin Childs, Jill Quertier)
WHAT DREAMS MAY COME (Eugenio Zenetti, Cindy Carr)

And the winner is... SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE

Go PLEASANTVILLE!!!!! No... GO WHAT DREAMS!!!! Either one... Uh oh... Will this be a big ass sweep, or a mere tip of the bucket... I did love their Globe Theater set... and it was pretty as hell. BUT dammit... WHAT DREAMS MAY COME was ASTOUNDING!!!! Fucking evil people...

PICARD!!!! presents ELIZABETH and SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE!!! I wish Geoffrey Rush had been nominated for ELIZABETH.. I prefered him in that movie!

Back to Whoopi... who introduces...

Mike Myers to present...

Makeup

ELIZABETH
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Lois Burwell)
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (Veronica Brebner)

And the winner is... ELIZABETH

Jenny Shircore Maaaaaaaaan..... I'm not even gonna comment. Ugh!!! How about... NONE OF THE ABOVE!!!

Christina Ricci intros WHEN YOU BELIEVE with Mariah and Whitney... I'd rather see Sandra Bullock and Michelle Pfeiffer singing this. These to just butcher the music IMHO. Really lackluster performance...... No production number (of course that would possibly be in bad taste) Ahhhhhh... here's the big production number... Hahahaha... I knew something was wrong... And.. it does feel a bit like bad taste... (Amen Lloyd; To voice palpatation death)

Where are the cool Summer Movie Commercials? Hello Dutch and Australian Computer Users unable to watch the OSCARS live!!!!

What the hell is up with Whoopi? Ahhhh.... A Costume Design thing....

Brendan Frazier to give the award for...

Short Film—Live Action

CULTURE
ELECTION NIGHT (Valgaften)
HOLIDAY ROMANCE
LA CARTE POSTALE (The Postcard)
VICTOR

And the winner is... ELECTION NIGHT

Given I haven't seen any of them... I really can't comment... Though given their 3 previous noms... It must be good....

Heimleich and Flick present the award for...

Short Film—Animated

BUNNY
THE CANTERBURY TALES
JOLLY ROGER
MORE
WHEN LIFE DEPARTS

And the winner is... BUNNY!!!!!

Pretty good.... BUNNY is AWESOME... Go go go... I wish we were getting clips... He worked on TRON!!!!! Tooooo cool! You have to see this one... it's surreal as hell...

Robin Williams is presenting award for...

Actress in a Supporting Role

Kathy Bates in PRIMARY COLORS
Brenda Blethyn in LITTLE VOICE
Judi Dench in SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE
Rachel Griffiths in HILARY AND JACKIE
Lynn Redgrave in GODS AND MONSTERS

And the winner is... Judi Dench for SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE!!!

Uh oh... Robin Williams... be afraid... Can you imagine if the awards were hosted by him? That'd be insane... See folks... that's comedy... He's REAL good!!! Go LYNN!!!!!! COME ON "GODS"!!! WIN WIN... DAMMMMMMMIT!!!! I loved her in it, but DAMMMMMMNNNNNN!!!

Terrible Commercials...

Chris Rock to present the award for...

Sound Effects Editing

ARMAGEDDON
THE MASK OF ZORRO
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN

And the winner is... SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Gary Rydstrom, Richard Hymns)

Whew... Chris is an evil being... That Kazan remark was COLD. This is sooooo SPR's award! AMAZING... SOUND.... Great work...

Liv introduces AEROSMITH.... Ya know.... I just love AEROSMITH... probably one of the reasons I loved Armageddon (just to tip my hat to the alleged bad taste I have) (of course others are saying "Nothing alleged about it")

Anjelica Huston to present....

Sound

ARMAGEDDON
THE MASK OF ZORRO
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Ron Judkins)
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (John Downer)
THE THIN RED LINE (Claude Letessier)

And the winner is... SAVING PRIVATE RYAN Gary Ruydstorm and a whole bunch that the TV people didn't leave on long enough dammit!

Why do they have these little paragraphs about the subjects? Gary's gonna win again... Looks like a technical sweep is possible for SPR...

TOM HANKS.... He's looking scraggily as hell, but intros John "I've been a cool astronaut" Glen. BIO PIC tribute.... Cool.... Great clips... I soooo love SPIRIT OF ST LOUIS... JIM THORPE ALL-AMERICAN... Gandhi.... God, this is hard... ALAMO, one of my Dad's faves... THE GLEN MILLER STORY... God I love Jimmy Stewart... PATTON.... I'm missing a ton of these as I can't type fast enough. Where's INHERIT THE WIND?

UGH!!! A Tribute to BELOVED's costume design.... UGH!!!! AGH!!!!

Sophia Loren to introduce... LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL clip... Roberto is such a ham! I must be a heartless bastard. Don't get me wrong... I liked the film, but it did not 'kill me', I saw all the pieces as pieces not as a full film. And she is going to present the award...

Foreign Language Film

CENTRAL STATION (Brazil)
CHILDREN OF HEAVEN (Iran)
THE GRANDFATHER (Spain)
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL (Italy)
TANGO From Argentina (Argentina)

And the winner is... LIFe IS BEAUTIFUL...

If it doesn't go to LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL... It did... He's walking on the back of people's chairs... He's... ummmm... Happy... (because he's hugging Sophia Loren!!!) And he won. This guy reminds me of Robogeek. But I do wish that CENTRAL STATION had won... It's utterly fantastic...

Andie MacDowell and Andy Garcia present...

Original Musical or Comedy Score

A BUG'S LIFE (Randy Newman)
MULAN (Matthew Wilder, David Zippel, Jerry Goldsmith)
PATCH ADAMS (Marc Shaiman)
THE PRINCE OF EGYPT (Hans Zimmer, Stephen Schwartz)
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (Stephen Warbeck)

And the winner is... SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (Stephen Warbeck)

Go PRINCE OF EGYPT!!!! Go SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE!!!! I love both scores... SIL is gonna win a lot of awards! Miramax did an amazing marketing job for an AMAZING MOVIE!

Genna Davis in an A-M-A-Z-I-N-G art deco-y see through dress presents a musical tribute to the 5 following scores... I hate MODERN dance... Watch his breasts jiggle... OH GOD EMBARRASHMENT!!! HORRID!!!! IT MAKES NO SENSE... MAKE IT STOP.... HOLY SHIT IT'S far WORSE than you can possibly imagine.... This is not working.... Where the hell are the good people? Tapping to the music of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN is HORRIBLE!!!!! Dear lord make it stop!!! The pain... the searing agony.... Please Mary mother of God, just end this debacle before televisions implode!

Now Geena presents the award to....

Original Dramatic Score

ELIZABETH (David Hirschfelder)
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL (Nicola Piovani)
PLEASANTVILLE (Randy Newman)
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (John Williams)
THE THIN RED LINE (Hans Zimmer)

And the winner is... LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL (Nicola Piovani)

Come on PLEASANTVILLE!!! (though I wish the score for GODS AND MONSTERS had been nominated) UH OH.... LIB is gonna rake em in... 2 down... more to go... Beautifully simplistic acceptance.

JOHN TRAVOLTA to present a tribute, en morte, to Frank Sinatra, edited by Scorsese... Great work MARTY!!! Ya know Sinatra is sooooo good. He's cool, smooth, evil, sleazy, groovy and a DAMN GOOD ACTOR! Come on... show a clip from SUDDENLY.... Come on... come on... come on... Damn this is a great tribute!!! OCEANS 11 Coooooool. Donde SUDDENLY, Marty?

I'm already tired of the COSTUME DESIGN goofy thing... I have to admit though... You have to admit that Whoopi is being a great sport about the makeup and costume changes... It's gotta be a bitch!

Anne Heche to present the Scientific and Technical Awards.... Hahahahahahahaha Sound problems during the Science and Technical Awards.... It's weird... Just a couple of days ago, she was here in Austin for the EDtv premiere thing with Ellen. Including awards to the creators of AVID...

JIM CARREY to present the award for...

Film Editing

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL (SIMONE PAGGI)
OUT OF SIGHT (Ann V Coates)
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Michael Kahn)
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (David Gamble)
THE THIN RED LINE (Leslie Jones, Saar Klein, Billy Weber)

And the winner is... SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Michael Kahn)

He's crying and milking laughter... Ya see he didn't get nominated for TRUMAN... and ummm... It's really really fun... Like this ain't going to SAVING PRIVATE RYAN.... Come on OUT OF SIGHT... SPR... Another technical award... can it when others?

Rene Zellwegger (sooooo hot, my god I'm in love) to present the song for THE HORSE WHISPERER sung by ALISON MOIRER (msp?) Man... Remember when ISAAC HAYES won.... Now that was cool... this is closer to razor blade death. Help help help!!!

Nicholas Cage to present the IRVING B THALBERG award to NORMAN JEWISON...... Finally some acknowledgement for ROLLERBALL!!!!! YES!!!! I love that movie!!!! Great DVD... Norman’s talk to young filmmakers is exactly RIGHT. Forget about Top Ten... Make movies that kick our ass...

Roberto is being teased by Whoopi....

Liam Neeson to present the award for...

Visual Effects

ARMAGEDDON
MIGHTY JOE YOUNG
WHAT DREAMS MAY COME

And the winner is...WHAT DREAMS MAY COME

Come on MIGHTY JOE YOUNG!!!! WOW.... What Dreams May Come won!!!!! Cooool. I just wanted to see Rick Baker.... But Cool.... Truly awe inspiring effects... “Love is Groovy”

Val Kilmer and a 'TRIGGER' Look alike come out to present a tribute to Matinee Cowboys..... Roy, Gene, Wayne, William S Hart, Tom Mix, Gabby Hayes, Hoppalong Cassidy, Ray Crash Corrigan, Buck Jones, Tex Ritter, YAKIMA CANUTT, Hoot Gibson, Ken Maynard, Andy Devine, Allan Rocky Lanee, Randolph Scott, Bob Steele, Sunset Carson, Durango Kid, Lash LaRue all in tribute with a cool COWBOY HEAVEN song. Loved this tribute.

Helen Hunt to present the award for...

Actor in a Leading Role

Roberto Benigni in LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
Tom Hanks in SAVING PRIVATE RYAN
Ian McKellen in GODS AND MONSTERS
Nick Nolte in AFFLICTION
Edward Norton in AMERICAN HISTORY X

And the winner is... LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL (Roberto Benigni)

Oh... Boy... Here we go.... Ian doesn't have a chance... I think the Oscars want to see Benigni up there... Please lord... IAN... WIN... Please dear god... Come on, be there a GOD? Come on come on.... IAN IAN IAN IAN IAN.... BENIGNI.... Sigh... Maybe he's just one of those people that I won't understand. "This is a terrible mistake, because I used up all my ENGLISH" "I want to make love to EVERYBODY" "A MOUNTAIN OF SNOW" My god... he's insane... But ya have to love the enthusiasm. IAN WAS ROBBED!!! "I don't deserve this, but I hope to win some other OSCARS!"

Folks... LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL may very well win BEST PICTURE... That's what it's looking like. I'm completely clueless... this is my worst OSCAR 'prediction' Year ever....

Whoopi comes out in a VELVET GOLDMINE costume...

Lisa Kudrow comes out to... (talk about BABE) to introduce THAT'LL DO... sung by Peter Gabriel... I have to say... the set really is a very nice one.... Striking and under gaudied... Nice... small production and quite pretty. Ahhhhh class... at least it sunk in somewhere.

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck to present the award for...

Documentary Short Subject

THE PERSONALS: Improvisations on Romance in the Golden Years
A PLACE IN THE LAND
SUNRISE OVER TIANANMEN SQUARE

And the winner is... THE PERSONALS: Improvisations On Romance in the Golden Years...

She was once crowned Ms. Japan.... She is sooooo emotional... What a wonderful acceptance... Beautiful... Lovely... Best acceptance of the night in my opinion so far....

Documentary Feature

DANCEMAKER
THE FARM: ANGOLA, U.S.A.
THE LAST DAYS
LENNY BRUCE: SWEAR TO TELL THE TRUTH
REGRET TO INFORM

And the winner is... THE LAST DAYS

Come on LENNY BRUCE.... Well... I can't really complain... I haven't seen any of them, I was rooting for subject matter...

Martin Scorsese and Robert Deniro presents the honorary Oscar to ELIA KAZAN... God I hope there is no protest.... Kazan's work is AMAZING, and pushed film into a new era of acting and drama.... An amazing talent. The awards should be about your work, not your politics. When you see this selection of films... If you watch them.... You should be in AWE... I am. Amazing work.... This is the tense moment of the OSCARS... What's about to happen? When ELIA takes that stage... will there be applause? Will there be BOOS? What's gonna happen? I haven't a clue....

Well... They are Applauding, and there is a good amount of standing ovations, but there are alot of people sitting.... including Spielberg, Nick Nolte, Jim Carrey, and many many others. I'd say maybe 20% stood, and 80% sat. He hugged Scorsese and Deniro... A moment of celebration and bitterness. Scorsese had tears in his eyes, and well... I have loved Kazan's films my entire life... I own ON THE WATERFRONT on 16mm and I want to watch it right now... That period in history is very complicated, and what he did was wrong... but.... DOn't hold it against his talent. That's what this is about.

Whoopi is in Costume again, and it looks like she's gonna present the award for...

Costume Design

BELOVED (Colleen Atwood)
ELIZABETH (Alexandra Byrne)
PLEASANTVILLE (Judianna Makovsky)
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (Sandy Powell)
VELVET GOLDMINE (Sandy Powell)

And the winner is... SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (Sandy Powell)

This award will go to SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE... I feel it, though I'd love it if PLEASANTVILLE won... Yup.... SIL won... Duh... Sandy is quite cute looking, and she is wearing a wonderful dress...

Catherine Zeta Jones (gorgeous) presents the QUEST FOR CAMELOT song (ugh) Celine Dion and Andrea Pachelli (msp?) SHUT UP!!!! AGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! Ya know... it's kinda growing on me... OH NO!!!! I'm being brainwashed.... HELP!!!! HELP!!!!

Jennifer Lopez (looking like a Gajillion Bucks) presents the award to...

Original Song

"I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" from ARMAGEDDON
"The Prayer" from QUEST FOR CAMELOT
"A Soft Place to Fall" from THE HORSE WHISPERER
"That'll Do" from BABE: PIG IN THE CITY
"When You Believe" from THE PRINCE OF EGYPT

And the winner is... "WHEN YOU BELIEVE" Stephen Schwartz THE PRINCE OF EGYPT

Come on AEROSMITH!!! hee hee hee... Actually I'm rooting for WHEN YOU BELIEVE... Cooool....

Annette Bening is about to do the tribute to those that passed away....

Dane Clark, Linwood Dunn, George Davis, Dick O'Neill, Charles Lang, Naorman Fell, James Goldman, CVVinvcent Winter, Freddie Young, E.G. Marshall, Jeanette Nolan, Alan J Paakula, Jerome, Robbins, Susan Starsberg, John Derek, John Akkison, John Marsais, Maureen O'Sullivan, Phil Hartman, Esther Rolle, Gene Raymond, Binnie Barnes, Valerie Hodson, Huntz Hall, Akira Kurosawa, Alice Faye, Robert Young, Roddy McDowall.... but not Kubrick.... Wow... I can't believe they didn't honor Kubrick...

I believed they missed quite a few greats, and I missed typing maybe 4 people, but I was trying my best.

Jack Valenti comes out to intoduce General Colin Powell (weird)... oh he's going to intro the War films... SAVING PRIVATE RYAN and THE THIN RED LINE... A really good intro....

Whoopi honors GENE SISKEL, "A critic, but more importantly... he really loved movies

Uma Thurmann presents the award for...

Cinematography

A CIVIL ACTION (Conrad L Hall)
ELIZABETH (Remi Adefarasin)
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Janusz Kaminski)
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (Richard Greatrex)
THE THIN RED LINE (John Toll)

And the winner is... SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Janusz Kaminski)

I believe this should go to THE THIN RED LINE, but I think SPR will win... Yup... I was right... Dammit, this friggin sucks.... THIN RED LINE owned that award.

Jack Nicholson presents the award for...

Actress in a Leading Role

Cate Blanchett in ELIZABETH
Fernanda Montenegro in CENTRAL STATION
Gwyneth Paltrow in SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE
Meryl Streep in ONE TRUE THING
Emily Watson in HILARY AND JACKIE

And the winner is... GWYNETH PALTROW (SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE)

Please... Cate don't win.... Fernanda deserves it, I hope Gwyneth wins.... If Meryl wins... I'll die. Emily looks like that girl from the movie NAKED UNDER LEATHER. YES!!!!! GWYNETH WON!!!!! YESSSSSS YESSSS, Thank God for the MIRAMAX machine and a great performance.... Oh my god, I'm crying... Yessss!!!! I'm soooo happy, I want to make love to all of you!!!! I feel like a tornado of bowel movements...

Spielberg comes out to do a presentation for Stanley Kubrick.... I can’t ty[e.... I’m transfixed.... by the glory of Kubrick..... KUBRICK..... Why are they not STANDING? What’s wrong with them?????

Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn present the award for

Screenplay- Adaptation

GODS AND MONSTERS (Bill Condon)
OUT OF SIGHT (Scott Frank)
PRIMARY COLORS (Elaine May)
A SIMPLE PLAN (Scott R Smith)
THE THIN RED LINE (Terrence Malick)

And the winner is...BILL CONDON for GODS AND MONSTERS!!!!

Come on Bill.... YESSSSS!!!!!!!!! DAMMIT.... AT LEAST IT GOT ONE!!!!! Dammit it deserved soooooo much more.... This film deserved 1000000 times the ad campaign than it got for the OSCARS.... People really really should see this movie a hundred times!

Screenplay—Original

BULWORTH (Warren Beatty, Jeremy Pikser)
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL (Roberto Benigni, Vincenzo Cerami)
SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Robert Rodat; with uncredited rewrite by Frank Darabont)
SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE (Marc Norman and Tom Stoppard)
THE TRUMAN SHOW (Andrew Niccol)

And the winner is...SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE

Come on Shak.... YES... What the hell man? How come the writing awards are sooooo DEAD ON? Perfect awards for screenwriting. YES!!!

Kevin Costner comes out to present the award for...

Directing

Roberto Benigni LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL
Steven Spielberg for SAVING PRIVATE RYAN
John Madden for SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE
Terrence Malick for THE THIN RED LINE
Peter Weir for THE TRUMAN SHOW

And the winner is...

Right now.... I’m rooting for John Madden cause I love his sports coverage.... HOLY SHIT.... SPIELBERG WON!! I can’t believe it... I’d totally written him off. Wow.... I have to say... I love Spielberg, I love his films, and I really really love that he’s picked up his second award, and now I’m so happy he’s making a SCI FI flick next...

Harrison Ford is next to present the final OSCAR of the century for...

Best Picture

Saving Private Ryan
Shakespeare in Love
Life Is Beautiful
The Thin Red Line
Elizabeth

And the winner is... SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE

Ya know... I just love watching Harrison Ford... In a tux... Evil people will begin fighting him at any second... HARVEY WON!!!! He’s a happy happy happy guy right now!!!!