Glen here...
...with Mr. Hippo's somewhat belated review of Red Dwarf, Series VII, Episode 5.
Mr. Hippo usually reviews these new Red Dwarf episodes immediately after they air in U.K. Well, last night, the Hippos decided to get all dressed up and go out on the town. Ever the responsible Hippo, this message came in late late last night- right after I signed off. Which means: Mr. Hippo still took the time to sit down and cinstruct his review even after his fun evening getaway! I hope Mrs. Hippo was not mad at him.
Very much appreciated, Mr. Hippo. Here's his review:
Mr. Hippo wrote:
Mr. Hippo calling Orsen, come in Orsen...
Mr. Hippo here reporting in a couple of hours later than usual on the latest Red Dwarf VIII episode, "Krytie TV".
Mr. Hippo apologizes for the slight delay but it was unavoidable. Though Mr. Hippo loves Red Dwarf, the Hippoman couldn't pass up the opportunity to see the brilliant musical Chicago earlier this evening. There is nothing like watching beautiful female dancers with incredible bodies wearing practically nothing contorting those very same bodies into numerous, indescribable positions. Oh, and the music was good too. Mr. Hippo hopes the Coaxial readers understand his decision.
In the time since Mr. Hippo last pronounced, the Hippoman has experience a period of excitement, delight, depression, near nervous breakdown, deep laughter and complete shock. Allow Mr. Hippo to bring you up to speed. First, Mrs. Hippo has admitted to him that she was so worried about writing the review of last week's episode, "Cassandra", that she was too busy writing notes about the episode to really enjoy it.
A second viewing with Mr. Hippo brought a different reaction which, incidentally, concurs with Mr. Hippo's first viewing. "Cassandra" was without a doubt the best and funniest episode this series - so far. Mr. Hippo thought Chris Barrie particularly came to the fore in this episode, the entire "dying while having sex with Kochanski" sequence being especially hilarious.
Craig Charles also appears to beginning to hit his stride - not as a barrel of laughs but as the straight man to which the other characters bounce off. All in all, "Cassandra" brought a big smile to Mr. Hippo face and the promise of a series coming into form. This was Mr. Hippo's delight.
Excitement was represented by Mr. Hippo's viewing of the new Star Wars Episode One trailer while in America on Good Morning, America last week, and later via the Internet. How can the Hippoman describe this feeling to you? Excited? Mr. Hippo nearly came in his XXXXXXL pants (now that's a scary thought... think of the mess!).
((Glen Note: I once saw a documentary on the mating habits of Hippos. After seeing that....and envisioning what Mr. Hippo just wrote...I can tell you that the image he just painted IS NOT a pretty one, and would be quite messy...))
We'll skip the near nervous breakdown bit because Mr. Hippo is sure the Coaxial readers will find it boring. Needless to say, Mr. Hippo is sorely in need of a long vacation, preferably in some tropical locale.
Strangely, the depression and deep laughter occurred simultaneously while Mr. Hippo was viewing the recent "Comic Relief" special episode of Doctor Who. Deep laughter because, simply put, it was so fucking funny:
Female Doctor: I still have my trusty Sonic Screwdriver... this has three settings?
Female Companion: Why do the Daleks have chairs on their ship?
Doctor: I'll explain later...
Doctor: Nice Breasts!
The Master: They're not breasts, they're bumps!
Mr. Hippo cannot begin to describe how much he laughed during this Doctor Who Special. Yes, Rowan Atkinson LOOKED great but he was basically playing Edmund Blackadder playing The Doctor. Mr. Hippo thought Hugh Grant made the best Doctor persona.
However, at the same time the Hippoman was incredibly depressed by the insidiousness of this BBC creation. Killing off all of The Doctor's regenerations in a spoof episode? To Mr. Hippo it seemed to be clear confirmation that the BBC considers Doctor Who a dead franchise. Mr. Hippo is amazed by the stupidity of the BBC in failing to understand nor comprehend the potential 'cash cow' franchise they have under their pointy little, bureaucrat noses. What killed Doctor Who? The BBC's stupidity did, that's what!
And what, may you ask was the source of the shock? Well, believe it or not - it was Star Trek: Voyager. As many of you will know, the latest DS9 and Voyager series arrive on the UK shores a couple of weeks ago.
Mr. Hippo immediately rushed out and bought the first two episodes of Season 7 of DS9 and was predictably blown away by what he perceived. Mr. Hippo only just got to the Star Trek: Voyager opening episodes (feeling no sense of urgency) and he is happy to announced that finally, after waiting nearly five years, his near-infinite patience has been rewarded with a Voyager episode equal to the quality of DS9.
What episode, you may ask?
The episode in question was "Drone"'. The entire episode was a remarkable achievement. Jeri Ryan was a revelation. The story was tight and well written. At last, a Borg story which wasn't a step backwards from the brilliant episode "The Best of Both Worlds". The characterisations were brilliant... and best of all, Kate Mulgrew was hardly in it at all. This is a remarkable day... rejoice.. for Mr. Hippo is publicly pronouncing for the first time the name of a Voyager episode he loved.
You must see "Drone" if you haven't already. Mr. Hippo only prays that he does not experience further disappointment in subsequent episodes. A standard has been set for Star Trek: Voyager - it must be maintained. Consistency and mediocrity has always been the achilles heel of Voyager. Now for what Mr. Hippo imagines most of the Coaxial readers came to hear about, the latest Red Dwarf episode, "Krytie TV". First the non-spoiler review. After saying moments before that "Cassandra" was the best Red Dwarf episode of Series VIII so far, Mr. Hippo is happy to pronounced that it has already been superseded. "Krytie TV" is hilarious!
If you don't want to know any more, then don't read on.
The neighbours were shouting at Mr. Hippo, he was laughing so hard and deeply. After Chris Barrie came to the fore and hit his stride last week, this week it was Robert Llewellyn's turn to shine. Not only did he do so with relish but Chris Barrie maintained the standard of his performance achieved last week and also chocking up a brilliant episode. Craig Charles was also a highlight, again in mainly setting up the other characters, in his interaction scenes with Rimmer and Kryten. This episode had so mainly funny bits, Mr. Hippo does not know where to begin. Even the 'little' jokes hit their target. But he will try to pronounced:
Highlights included:
* The sequence of Kryten describing what it was like showering with the other female prisoners was classic Red Dwarf. The other characters' reactions were brilliant and probably the funniest sequence in Red Dwarf since the Talkie Toaster scene in "White Hole". Pure genius;
* Kryten and Lister's plan to sabotage Kochanski's 'supposed' date with Tim was hilarious, especially the use the scissors were put to;
* Every Rimmer-Lister scene was spot-on funny, especially the interplay about Lister's rescued guitar, Rimmer's 'luck' and their failure to vacate the theatre once the 'shower scene' came on;
* Mrs. Hippo's doubts about what Kochanski was doing in an all-male prison were nicely put to rest by the opening 'Kryten-in-the-Women's Wing' sequence.
Lowlights included:
* Cat and Holly hardly get a look-in in this episode;
* if Chloe Annett isn't going to do anything, they could at least have the common decency to show us her tits during the shower seqeunce...don't you think? Just asking.
In summary, this was a classic Red Dwarf episode, perfect timing, good writing and absolutely hilarious humour. Well done, smeg-crew!
Mr. Hippo, siging off.
