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‘Either Way I Lose!!’
Herc Gives Tonight’s
LOST Five Stars!!!!!

I am – Hercules!! LOST 3.18 FAQ What’s it called? “D.O.C.” Who’s responsible? Teleplay is credited to Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz (“Tricia Tanaka is Dead,” “Exposé”). What does ABC say? “After discovering that all of ‘The Others'’ pregnant women died before giving birth on the island, an extremely reticent Sun allows Juliet to examine her -- and uncovers the identity of the unborn child's father. Meanwhile, Desmond allows an unlikely nemesis to help save the life of a new, mysterious island inhabitant. Guest starring are Byron Chung as Mr. Paik, Andrew Divoff as Mikhail, Marsha Thomason as Naomi, John Shin as Mr. Kwon, Alexis Rhee as older woman, Esmond Chung as Paik's associate and Jean Chung as Paik's secretary.” How did last week’s promo go? ANNOUNCER: Next Wednesday. A stranger has fallen from the sky. HURLEY: What if this is a rescue? What if she came for us? ANNOUNCER: But the promise of rescue is only the beginning. And the fate of this survivor … SUN: What happens to pregnant women on this island?? ANNOUNCER: … will be revealed. There are only four episodes left until the season finale. And you can’t miss one. SUN: I lose either way. ANNOUNCER: An all-new “Lost.” Next Wednesday at ten, nine central, only on ABC. What’s D.O.C. stand for? Date of conception. Is Hurley the daddy of Sun’s fetus? Is that why Hurley gave Jin the big “thumbs up”? What? Get out of my office!! Does Juliet determine the baby’s parentage? Does she have a gene-analyzer in her purse? Juliet’s purse contains no gene analyzing equipment. Parachute-girl Naomi seems to know Desmond. Does he know her? “I’ve never seen her before in my life,” claims Desmond. Is Naomi the “new, mysterious island inhabitant”? Does she remain mysterious because she lapses into unconsciousness? She’s in and out of consciousness, thanks to a tree-punctured lung. Also, she’s not speaking English. Naomi speaks no English? Naomi speaks Italian, Chinese and Spanish. (So there was a good reason for Desmond to bring Hurley along after all!) Andrew Divoff is back! Is wily one-eyed Ukranian Mikhail the unlikely nemesis Desmond allows to save Naomi’s life? He is. How is Mikhail alive? Wasn’t he microwaved to death by The Others’ invisible fence? Is it true no one on the island can stay dead and that Eko is now sharing cocktails in the dolphin tank with Shannon, Nikki, Goodwin, Arzt and Christian Shephard? ABC says Sun discovers that all of The Others’ pregnant women died before giving birth on the island. Would ABC lie to you? Is Mikhail secretly another of The Others’ many doctors? He claims to have been a field medic with the Soviet army. If true, he appears to have been a pretty good one. Shades of Chekov and Khan! Kate, Locke and Sayid met Mikhail - but Hurley, Jin, Charlie and Desmond not so much. Do they even know who Mikhail is? Kate apparently described him adequately to Charlie, Hurley and Sun. What’s doing with Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Sayid and Claire? Jack and Kate are relegated to one-scene cameos this week. Sawyer, Sayid and Claire, like Locke and Ben, sit the week out. Does Charlie die this week? No. Does Desmond make another prediction? No. What was that batting order again? 3.18 Jin & Sun Kwon 3.19 John Locke 3.20 Benjamin Linus 3.21 Charlie Pace 3.22-23 Jack Shephard What else is ABC not telling us? Mikhail speaks Italian! What’s great? The many reveals. The fabulous Yunjin Kim (whose character shares the audience’s distrust of Juliet). One of the most moving sets of flashbacks in the series’ history. Mikhail’s respective facedowns with Jin and Charlie. Daniel Dae Kim. Elizabeth Mitchell. John Shin, heart-breaking as Mr. Kwon. “It’s five times that.” “Either way I lose.” “What?” What’s not so great? We must pity the fools who bailed on this series. How does it end, spoiler-boy? Naomi gives Hurley the news. Herc’s rating for “Lost” 1.18? *****. 10 p.m. Wednesday. ABC.

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