Capone is not impressed with Eddie Murphy's jiggling flesh in NORBIT!!!

Hey, everyone. Capone in Chicago here. What would any self-respecting, first-time Oscar nominee do to follow up his role of a lifetime? Well, I couldn't tell you that, but I can tell you what Eddie Murphy's done. He's made another film in a fat suit. More specifically, Murphy has made another broad comedy in which he re-teams with make-up master Rick Baker (The Nutty Professor; Coming To America) to create three characters, one of which wears the most impressive and realistic fat suit I've ever seen. And that particular character also happens to be a woman named Rasputia, a killer whale crossed with a wild mountain lion. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself. Norbit isn't exactly a family film (I believe it comes with a PG-13 rating, mostly for language), so this wouldn't necessarily be something little kids would appreciate. The film's problems don't lie in Murphy's performance. He's one of the few actors today who knows how to work with this severe level of makeup and bodysuits. He's pretty great here, especially in his borderline racist portrayal of Mr. Wong, a Chinese man who runs a combination Chinese restaurant and orphanage (I don't want to know what's in those egg rolls). I almost didn't realize that was Murphy behind Mr. Wong, primarily because I just couldn't hear Murphy's voice in the character. Wong takes in young Norbit as an orphan, and some of the early scenes of his child-rearing techniques are very funny and a bit brutal. A hapless nerd with oversized glasses, Norbit meets a young Rasputia, and she latches onto him until they get married some years later. Rasputia is a bully from a family of bullies. In fact, her three brothers run the local construction company, with a side order of protection money collection on the side. The brothers want very much to purchase Wong's property and turn it into a strip club, putting the current crop of orphans out on the street. When Norbit's childhood sweetheart, Kate (Thandie Newton, most recently seen in The Pursuit of Happyness), returns to town to run the rehabbed orphanage, the brothers cook up a scheme to get her to sign over the deed to the property to them. Norbit immediately falls back in love with Kate, who just happens to be engaged to a conman played by Cuba Gooding Jr., who wants to marry her, then swipe all her money. The plot of Norbit isn't too tough to follow or predict, but the two screenwriters (and two others credited with the "story") didn't seem to have enough confidence that a simple story about a hen-pecked husband and his terrifying wife (both played by Murphy) was enough to keep audiences entertained. So the story is jam packed with peripheral characters I think are supposed to be funny. Instead the performers each try to out-ham each other with gross overacting and vaguely offensive stereotypes. Eddie Griffin and Katt Williams play two former pimps, who were forced out of the game years earlier and now run a rib joint in town while still dressing like pimps. They aren't funny. The three actors playing Rasputia's brothers (Terry Crews, Clifton Powell and Mighty Rasta) just eat up scenery and flex their ample biceps. They aren't funny either. Neither Newton nor Gooding is really supposed to be humorous, and that's their excuse. So the lion's share of the comedy lands in Murphy's lap, and he does the best he can with this thin material. But it's a bit sad to see someone who was so impressive in Dreamgirls rehash this blatantly. Director Brian Robbins (who wowed us with Tim Allen's The Shaggy Dog and has signed on for Murphy's next film, Starship Dave) seems to let his supporting cast run amok as arms wave and eyes roll and funny faces are made. At one point, I'm pretty sure there was a decent movie here somewhere. There are some darkly humorous moments scattered throughout the film, but there aren't enough to keep the laughs coming or the entertainment level above a slow simmer. Capone capone@aintitcoolmail.com