Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here. Yes, Will Ferrell has settled in a rhythm of making formula films that basically boil down to “Will Ferrell and NASCAR” or “Will Ferrell and kids playing soccer” or “Will Ferrell and THE TRUMAN SHOW.” And that’s fine. I’m more fond of some of his films than others, but that’s to be expected, especially when he’s working as consistently as he is right now. So which end of the spectrum is this film? Is this ANCHORMAN and TALLADEGA NIGHTS, or is this KICKING AND SCREAMING?
Hey Harry, et al. I’ve sent you guys some reviews in the past. I think most recently for the first two eps of last seasons Sopranos, which I caught when MoMA hosted the premiere. Well, I just got back from a screening of Blades of Glory at the Loews E-Walk theatre on 42nd street in NYC. Let me preface this by saying that I had no idea this movie was even in production, much less that it would be arriving in theatres at the end of March. Described to us only as “a Will Ferrell / John Heder comedy” I was not quite sure what to expect. What I got was basically ZOOLANDER ON ICE. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, since I enjoyed Zoolander. Before the movie started some guy came out and did the usual “color isn’t corrected yet and music and special effects aren’t final yet” routine and then added that security would be walking around in the theatre during the movie with night vision goggles making sure no one was recording it. (The night vision goggles part of the speech was a first for me.) Beware of spoilers below… Anyway, the story’s pretty simple. Will Ferrell plays Chazz Michael Michaels. Sex addict, adult film star, and one of the best Olmpi – err, sorry, “Wintersport” Ice Skaters in the US. John Heder plays Jimmy MacElroy, former child skating prodigy and also currently one of the best Wintersport Ice Skaters in the country. (Obviously the producers didn’t want to shell out the money to be able to use the name and logo of the Olympics. That or the Olympic committee refused them permission.) Regardless, Ferrell and Heder are skating rivals and after a very public fight on the ice during the medal ceremony of the Stockholm Wintersport Games they are both banned for life from the men’s singles competition. Cut to 3 and a half years later, Ferrel is playing the evil wizard in the skating show for kids called Grublets on Ice. He has become a self hating drunk and his inebriated performance one afternoon (he vomits inside the giant wizard head he wears and all over the ice) gets him fired. Heder’s now working in the stockroom of a skating supply store. When it’s brought to their attention that via a loophole they would be allowed to compete again, but in the doubles competition, they decide to join forces and compete together. Will they be able to put aside their differences, become friends and work together? Will they ever be able to execute the Iron Lotus, (a skating move so dangerous it was only attempted once before by the Korean team ending in a decapitation)? Will they win the gold medal and triumph over the evil skating team? All with hilarious results? Yes. Yes. Yes. And, well, for the most part, yeah, somewhat. Don’t get me wrong, this move is rather retarded. But I laughed. And much more than I ever expected to. Ferrel’s pretty funny and Heder seems to still be channeling Napoleon Dynamite at times, but there’s quite a few laughs to be had from the supporting cast. Amy Poehler and Will Arnett play the requisite “evil team” that Ferrell and Heder need to beat. Jenna Fischer (Pam from The Office) is Heder’s love interest and even gets a scene in a sexy little corset and garters. (Now I love The Office, but I had no idea how damn hot Jenna Fischer was. They really ugly her up on that show.) Luke Wilson makes an appearance as Farrell’s sex addict counselor. Andy Richter shows up briefly as a Canadian Mountie, and Craig T Nelson and Romany Malco (the black guy from 40 Year Old Virgin and Weeds) play Ferrell and Heder’s gay coaches. (I have a feeling that most of the references to their sexuality and the fact that the two coaches are gay lovers has been cut from the film for some reason but just take a look at all the stuff in the background of Nelson’s cabin in the woods and you’ll see what I mean.) But it’s Nick Swardson who made me laugh the most as an obsessed fan of Heder’s. I found him to be the funniest part of Gramdma’s Boy and I love him as Terry the homosexual rollerskating prostitute in Reno: 911. He’s only got a few scenes in Blades of Glory but they’re great. On the whole this flick is what it is. You’re either gonna enjoy it or you’re not. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I did. As mindless entertainment goes, this was rather amusing. As a Ferrel movie goes, it wasn’t as good as Anchorman, but I liked it a hell of a lot more than Talladega Nights. Despite what the guy said before the movie, the color looked fine. I can’t see how the two songs that were used during the skating performances (Aerosmith’s Don’t Want to Miss a Thing and Queen’s Flash Gordon theme) can be replaced because there are references made to these songs at other times in the film that would make no sense if the music was changed. Also, and here’s perhaps the biggest surprise of all, the skating effects were done extremely well. I assume they used a better method of superimposing the actor’s faces on real skaters kind of like how they did with the chick surfers in Blue Crush. They didn’t ask for any comments or anything from the audience which also makes me think that this was a pretty final cut of the film. If you use this, please call me “Slone13”.
