I am – Hercules!!
SURVIVOR 14.1 FAQ What’s it called? The first episode of “Survivor Fiji” is titled “Something Cruel Is About To Happen … Real Soon.” And where is Fiji again? Right next door to Vanuatu, a little north of the sea between Australia and New Zealand. What does TV Guide say? “The 14th edition of the reality series strands 19 castaways on the Fiji Islands to vie for the $1 million first-place prize. Initially, everyone lives together at a camp with plenty of supplies, but on the third day the group is split into two tribes. The team that loses the first immunity challenge must relocate to a different island with little resources. Also, the players learn that a hidden immunity idol is located at each tribal camp. Jeff Probst is the host.” Is the odd number of contestants and the lack of gender balance explained? Jeff Probst lays it out in his seaplane soaring high above the action: “Just below are 19 strangers that represent an extreme cross-section of America – from a former homeless street performer to a Harvard-educated lawyer! They are given absolutely no information! The fear of the unknown is so strong that one survivor quit just moments before being set adrift miles from shore! Is it true there’s only one hot-girl contestant this season? Howbutwhat? The producers are clearly using ethnic diversity as an excuse to cast a greater-than-ever number of comely females. (Who’s supposed to be the “only” hot one? Stacy? Rita? Michelle? Jessica? Learn what they all look like here.) Wait a minute. Everyone gets to know each other before they’re split into tribes?? Is true. Moreover, when the contestants arrive on shore they find themselves wondering what they’re supposed to be doing. As Anthony, an expert witness locator, puts it, “Everybody’s looking around for Jeff Probst!” (One wonders if the last-minute defection didn't throw the production into some initial disarray.) At the end of act one, a package from Jeff finally parachutes down instructing the contestants on how to build the dream beach compound only some of them will get to live in. What else is TV Guide not telling us? Only one player learns this week about the immunity idols being hidden at the camps. Last season the contestants’ racial make-up was pretty much identical to that of this season’s contestants. If everyone gets divided into two tribes, how can there be four ethnically pure tribes? There are no ethnically pure tribes this time around. Producers have cast another four-sided ethno-mix, but ethnicity plays no formal role, at least in the first episode. How, then, are the two tribes divided? In a way I don’t recall the show employing before. One contestant, essentially chosen by the producers, is charged with single-handedly dividing everyone up into two tribes of nine. Then the dividing contestant is sent to Exile Island, where he or she is immune from the first elimination and given a clue regarding immunity idol's locale. Does the chooser employ any strategy in choosing? The chooser seems to try to divide the teams up evenly, since the chooser does not know which team he or she will be joining. How does Herc appraise the tribal names this season? They are short. “Moto” and “Ravu.” No contest as to which is the cooler, right? Since one of the contestants bailed “just moments before being set adrift,” is there an elimination this week? There is; methinks it would be a crazy bad decision for “Survivor” to launch a season without an elimination. Any idea who’s first to get the boot? The first immunity challenge is very taxing, and the editing suggests whomever gets eliminated will be eliminated due to physical performance rather than personality. (Though, of course, you can’t always trust those “Survivor” editors to leave all the important stuff in.) What’s involved in the first elimination challenge? A punishing human-powered “chariot race,” three puzzles per team and a big knife. The first immunity challenge decides who gets the immunity idol AND who gets to live at Fancy Beach. How fancy is Fancy Beach? It houses bags of rice, cutlery, goblets, flint, a kitchen, a bush shower, a toilet, hammocks and a big overstuffed couch! Those stranded on Not-Fancy Beach get only a machete and a pot. The Fancy Beach element already stands as one of the new season’s most compelling elements. Any contestants likely to precipitate water-cooler discussions Friday morning? “Survivor” remains nothing if not well-cast. Stand-outs in the early going : * A bartender named James who gets nicknamed “Rocky” (likely not for the first time) because he resembles a young Sylvester Stallone. * The formerly homeless guy, who is also a super-extraverted cheerleading coach who refers to himself as “Dreamz.” With a “z.” His stated strategy is to make certain everyone notices his (less-than-endearing) presence. Brilliant. * Sylvia, the cheerful architect, who finds her expertise unusually valuable when the contestants are charged with building their deluxe shelter. * Yau-Man, a bespectacled, middle-aged computer engineer, who is as likeable as Cao-Boi, last season’s old Asian guy, was annoying. Yau-Man is from Borneo originally, which give him a real edge in the wilds of Fiji. “You’re the professor on Gilligan Island!” a fellow contestant informs him. How does it end, spoiler boy? As is CBS’ custom, the press screener ends just as Probst is about to tally the votes. But as consolation, here’s how Probst begins the episode! “We are flying over the stunning water of the Fiji Islands, a place once known for its cannibalism, uncharted reefs and formidable warriors. These islands are home to spectacular sea-life and lush, jagged terrain.” 39 days. 19 people. One survivor. 8 p.m. Thursday. CBS.

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