I am – Hercules!!
Do minor stars armed with real guns make for major entertainment? A cross between “Cops” and “The Surreal Life,” and a bit more fun than either, the diverting new reality series “Armed & Famous” follows five celebrities – Erik Estrada (“ChiPs”), Jack Osbourne (“The Osbournes”), Trish Stratus (“WWE Smackdown”), Jason “Wee-Man” Acuna (“Jackass”) and La Toya Jackson (big sister to Janet and Michael) – as they are trained, issued guns and sworn in as real reserve police officers patrolling Muncie, Ind. Produced by Julie Link (“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”) and Todd Hurvitz (“Punk’d”), the show will keep “Jericho’s” timeslot warm before the apocalyptic drama’s Feb. 21 return. As typical with reality shows, casting proves key. At least three of the five of the stars turn out to be compelling and mostly likeable for various reasons, with wrestling icon Stratus and hard-partying dwarf Acuna emerging as standouts long before their three-week training course concludes. 57-year-old Estrada proves nothing if not a good sport. The first episode turns out to be surprisingly more adept than any episode of “Cops” I’ve ever seen at illustrating the strange and dangerous appeal of police work. Some highlights: * An early training exercise (happily one not utilizing real guns) sees Jackson gun down an unarmed motorist. * A training documentary depicting a botched vehicle stop that results in a grisly police fatality drives home the serious nature of the job. * We learn that, under Indiana law, one cannot carry a 50,000-volt taser unless he or she has been shocked by one. As a result, all five recruits subject themselves to the jolts. Longtime “Jackass” regular Acuna seems right at home, of course, but it turns out to be Stratus who goes the extra mile for the exercise. * An off-hours trip to the laundrymat features the sheltered Jackson trying to stick a dollar bill into a machine that doesn’t dollar bills. * Jack Osborne, a longtime gun owner who confides that he once shot his sister when he was eight, does prove an excellent shot at the target range. * When Estrada takes into custody what appears to be a 75-year-old crack dealer, the perp seems both thrilled and horrified that it’s TV’s Ponch who is bringing her in for booking. There’s also fire, fingerbowls, farting, a beating victim with deformed hands, and Wee-Man amiably accommodating drunken young women in the street. Worth booking into TiVo custody, I say. But what matters Herc’s opinion? Variety says:

In surreality TV, the right casting can occasionally wring surprising mileage out of a hokey concept, which is a fair description of CBS' latest addition to the "Marginal celebrities will do just about anything for attention" genre. … sounds idiotic on its face, but the resulting hour actually delivers moments of warmth and humor, as well as its share of idiocy. … the series works best when the faux police make like Acuna and resist the temptation to take themselves too seriously. …

The Hollywood Reporter says:

… . If this doesn't amputate the long arm of the law, nothing will. … Yes, this show really belongs on VH1 or Fox Reality and, yes, that whirring sound you hear might be coming from Frank Stanton's newly dug grave. Remember, though, that the midseason now belongs to Fox and "American Idol." That gives rise to a "what-have-we-got-to-lose" mentality that in turn makes shows like "Armed and Famous" possible.

The Washington Post says:

… exists mainly to be ridiculed … In tonight's premiere, they shoot their guns only during training sessions but still, what kind of recklessness is it to give loaded guns to blundering numskulls and then stand back to watch the fun? Ho ho, there goes an innocent bystander crumpling to the sidewalk. …

The Boston Herald gives it a C-plus and says:

… Some of the footage screams instant YouTube classic. … The new officers don’t get coddled on their calls. Acuna frisks a man who is practically a walking drug lab; Jackson must secure a threatening subject; Stratus comforts the victims of a fire. Still, “Armed & Famous” seems to be begging for a lawsuit from some justifiably aggrieved private citizen who calls 911 and ends up with a cop more concerned with a close-up. …

8 p.m. Wednesday. CBS.

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