QT III -- DAY 3 -- 70’s DOUBLE FEATURE
Alright folks. People ask me why I goto Quentin’s fest, and I think there is this perception that I go cause “Wow, I get to stand in the blinder aura that surrounds and cakes every square inch of the Mighty Tarantino.”
No fucking way. I’m there to watch movies... but even that’s bullshit. I’m there to find a movie that Quentin has found that I’ve never seen that will just friggin unhinge my brain and make me babble aimlessly about it. Last year it was THE DION BROTHERS and SITTING TARGET. Well... it’s day three, and I have just seen the first one of those films.
But instead of just launching straight into it, let’s go straight to the coverage of the event....
Quentin was going through THE BIG REEL, a collector’s newspaper that offers up for sale 16mm and 35mm prints of movies on a person to person basis. I’ve bought all manners of movies from it before, but anyway... Quentin was flipping through it... and saw PRETTY MAIDS ALL IN A ROW for sale. He bought it. He brought it. “The one thing about being a film fan is ya learn pretty quickly that no matter what you haven’t seen them all. This one is one of my now favorite movies that I’m obsessive about.”
Ya see, this is the biggest budget studio financed cheerleading film. It’s directed by Roger Vadim, “I always thought he was a wanker,” Quentin said before saying that he’s never really been into Barbarella past the opening titles. SACRILEGE. Strap QT to the wall.... Where’s my cat o’nine tails? Flog him! I literally wanted to go punch him. I am a gigantic fan of BARBARELLA... got the soundtrack, the comics, the buttons.... I wish it were out on DVD with the ability to remove the credits from the opening credits option.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been really aroused by one of these cheerleader films. I mean... If you’re lucky you get a few breasts, a couple of asses and a touch of bush.” He went on to then say, “Now saying that.... This movie is pretty fucking hot alright!”
Now the film stars Rock Hudson, and as soon as Quentin spoke his name aloud the audience began snickering. But Quentin did, what he does... And I literally believe he should like do an entire video line where he just introduces the films. It’d take him like an hour to do each one, and you’d get the best fucking 20 minute intros you’d ever see. They’d be sooooo much better than like those interviews before that series of THX mastered STAR WARS tapes, and it wouldn’t have the disrespect for the films that say you get from those winky winky hosts like Elvira and Joe Bob Briggs (both of whom I like), but ya see Quentin went into this entire bit about giving the audience a perspective for the film.
I mean... we all know Rock Hudson died of AIDS, and that it turned out he was gay, but ya know what? Who the hell cares, he was an ACTOR... which means he could act like the frigging mac daddy of the universe if he wanted. By the seventies Hudson had been acting around twenty years and had gotten “pretty goddamned good, alright.”
As for Angie Dickenson, “She’s so fucking sexy in this movie that I don’t even know what to tell ya.” As he said that he was running around on stage being very expressive with his hands expressing his pure raging inner hard on for Angie.
He told us the film was just filled with the best sex tarts from the early seventies. Then he told the audience who wrote and produced this film.... GENE RODDENBERRY, then told us that SCOTTY was in the movie. At this point I think just about everyone in the theater was dying to see this thing.
Then he told us he’d be showing us some sexploitation style trailers before the film including TEENAGE GRAFITTI which he claims plays like a trailer for DAZED AND CONFUSED....
FLARE-UP -- This was just plane cool.
THE CENTERFOLD STORY -- There’s this one shot of a quick slashing of a throat that spews blood on to a plate glass window that was REALLY well done.... But the best thing about this trailer were all the naked babes.
CHASTITY -- Oh my god.... CHER... “She’s not just a girl.... She’s Chastity”
TEENAGE GRAFFITTI -- Wow, this really does look a bit like Linklater. That’d be an interesting double-bill...
LORDS OF FLATBUSH -- This is literally one of the most fucked up trailers the world has ever unleashed. The ‘tune’ being sung over everything is sooooooo terribly beautiful that it brought tears to the eyes. And Stallone... heh, wow.
PRETTY MAIDS ALL IN A ROW
Holy shit this is a real real good movie... No, It’s a fan-fucking-tastic movie. I want a print, I want to be able to screen this film at the drop of the hat for a few dozen of my favorite friends.
First off... any movie starring a girl named JOY BANG is a classic, but ya know... it’s more than that... This movie really really works. Sure it has it’s ‘cheese’ moments, but they are sooooooooooo perfect.
The lead kid is so naturally stunned by the female forms about him. In ‘Rodriguez’ editting style we see exactly what the kid sees, a kalediscope of asses hid beneath minis, unharnessed teenage breasts... pert and bouncing in his hallways. Slightly see through blouses, tight jeans and camel toes. Thus the agony of the pre-laid teenager. Constantly observing every peek at ‘what lies beneath’.
This is handles as good as it has ever been done. When Angie Dickenson arrives it’s like throwing napalm in your livingroom fireplace. The boy must then have an unlevel book in his lap at all times.
Rock Hudson is a friggin stud in this film. His girl-lizing (younger version of womanizing) is to be applauded by the macho neanderthal in all men, but publicly shamed for his inappropriate behavior... but ya know... this is a comedy, so to hell with it. Every male in the audience (that I talked with) now wants to be the football coach/guidance counselor in a small town. Annette tells me that she knew two cheerleaders in her squad in High School that shagged the coaches on a regular basis. I on the other hand pray it never happened on my campus as.... ugh... bad thought... bad thought... go away...
I refuse to believe any of these girls were over the age of 16. Cause the guys also seemed that young.
But if there was nothing else in this movie (which fantastically can’t be said) then you’d be left with the virgin high school kid and Angie Dickenson’s character... My God. I remember watching Angie’s shower scene in DRESSED TO KILL and thinking “Me want that”. I was just a kid, but I think it was literally the first signs of ‘lust’ that I can remember having. Angie was just prime worship material, and had I seen this movie.... Oh my god, I think I would have just exploded.
I don’t want to get more into it, but the scene of the two of them in bed... is a thought I never want to be able to put out of my head. It’s a ‘sigh thought’. You know... when you’re tired, frustrated or aggravated and you sigh.. The thought that brings that immediate smile.... Well, this is one of them. A Sigh Thought. Fantastic.
Can’t praise this movie enough.
Next up was MOTHER, JUGGS AND SPEED
Quentin came out and sort of set this film on up, but the part of his intro that really stuck with me was when he began talking about his favorite types of comedies. It’s actually something I’ve been saying on the site for a long time. “I like it when a comedy can stop being a comedy, ya know... It’s like... ‘laughing laughing laughing, STOPS YOU LAUGHING, MAKES YOU THINK, then starts ya laughing again.”
There ya go. I like that. I’m a strong believer that the best comedies are the ones that can also make you cry. That can go from hysterics to a funeral. Strangely the movie that’s popping into my mind right now is TOMMY BOY with Chris Farley and David Spade. It’s not a film that many people I’ve talked to liked, but... boy does it ever put a brick wall in there every now and again. It’s kind of a thing Chaplin did alot... and it’s called pathos. Sure you can laugh with them, but can you associate with them and that’s the biggest problem with most comedies today. It’s either a drama or a comedy, but never will the two meet.
Anyways.... on to the movie.
MOTHER, JUGGS AND SPEED
Damn if this wasn’t a fine night of film going.
This film is all over the place and it works. I mean, this is a film that goes from Bill Cosby shooting at someone that blew his partner away with a shotgun, to Bill getting a massage at a sex club with vibrators from nearly naked women while being sexist as hell, to opening up a can of whup ass on Larry Hagman to terrorizing Nuns that cross the street to drinking and driving a cab.
Ok, there ain’t no pudding pops in this one. The film has heroin overdoses and miscarriages... The movie is fantastic. The interspersing of the serious moments amongst the hilarity just makes this film soooooooooo good.
With lines like...
“Bambi’s mother had great tits”
“How’d you like to go back to busting gay bars?”
“He sues me.... I beat on him again.”
“That thing swells up those zipper marks will look like tire tracks.”
Alright? This movie is incredible, and as one of Quentin’s childhood friends put it, “Harvey got to fuck Raquel Welch,” and ya know.... That’s Cool.
Alright, the next report will be on the Seventies SPY Films we saw....
