Greetings humans, Monki here with your weekly look into the world of video games. I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance if this one is cut short. I can't express how difficult it is for me to be sitting here writing this while I could be blasting my way through Gears of War. The damn locusts! Those bastards just rip the shit out of you.
Project 8, Call of Duty 3, Gears of War, Guitar Hero 2, CONTRA. Is your wallet crying yet? Mine left me for another man. It said that I was abusing it. Poor thing. Oh, and I'm trying to buy a house too. (See how I listed games BEFORE the house? My priorities are correct my friends.) I think I'm going to have to take a third mortgage for games and systems this Winter.
So, this wrap-up will consist of some new pics of the next-gen Sonic game, another attempt at wooing Lacey Chabert (I love you Lacey), and my favorite talkback of all time. Aren't you freakin' excited? Excited enough to stop playing Gears of War to read! Yeah, I didn't think so.
Press Releases of the Week!
So, for all of you PSP owners out there, there is a new hot game soon to be released! Well, by new, I mean it's a bunch of old titles on one disc. And by hot, I mean, uhm, the "Safety Dance" is featured in the soundtrack. Awesome.
Santa Monica, CA - November 8, 2006 - Activision, Inc. is giving handheld gamers 40 reasons to pick up their PSP (PlayStation Portable) with the release of Activision Hits Remixed, the most comprehensive collection of Atari 2600 games. Featuring such titles as Pitfall, Kaboom!, Chopper Command, Stampede and Keystone Kapers, handheld gamers will experience the best in classic gaming anytime and anywhere. Activision Hits Remixed is now available at retail stores nationwide for the PSP system for a suggested retail price of $19.99 and is rated "E" ("Everyone") by the ESRB.
"Activision Hits Remixed features every Atari 2600 game in our library of titles and provides players with the most comprehensive compilation of classics ever assembled for the PSP gaming platform," said Kim Salzer, vice president of global brand management, Activision, Inc. "PSP gamers will experience the industry's definitive puzzle, sports, action and driving games in their entirety along with all-new multiplayer capabilities."
Activision Hits Remixed's multi-player support and wireless functionality enable players to game together, either by alternating turns or simultaneously, and a "Game Share" feature allows two friends to play together using only one copy of the game. Activision Hits Remixed also includes modernized front-end graphics, a host of retro unlockables such as television ads, original game manuals and the highly sought-after Activision Patches, as well as a rockin' 80s' themed soundtrack with such songs as "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, "We're Not Gonna Take It," by Twisted Sister and "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats.
Is it sad that every time I think of "Tainted Love" I think of the Coneheads movie? Yeah, that is pretty lame. So, there ya go PSP owners! A glimmer of hope!
Okay, I know little to nothing about Dragon Ball Z. The couple things I do know is that the series involves short guys with insane spikey hair, and it is fun to pronounce it "Dragon Ballz." Hee hee. Ballz. That being said, there is an event going on here in Texas on Saturday that may be fun to go people watching. Oh, and they are giving away "one wish." What the hell does that mean?
FUNimation Entertainment has selected the seven finalists for the Biggest, Baddest Dragon Ball Z Giveaway on Earth. These lucky finalists are on their way to Wizard World Texas to compete for the ultimate prize. On Saturday, November 11 from 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m., the seven finalists will compete in the Dragon Ball Z Wish Granting Event in the Dragon Ball Z area of the Grand Hall Lobby of the Arlington Convention Center.
The seven finalists were picked from the thousands of entrants to FUNimation Entertainment's Biggest, Baddest Dragon Ball Z Giveaway on Earth promotion that took place from July 1 to September 19, 2006. Over 10,000 prizes were given away from Dragon Ball Z licensees such as Atari, Score Entertainment and JAKKS Pacific. To determine the final "Grand Prize Winner" of the giveaway, FUNimation will conduct a single elimination video game tournament featuring the latest Dragon Ball Z video game from Atari, Dragon Ball Z: Budokai Tenkaichi 2. The winner of this tournament will be granted one wish.
Following the Dragon Ball Z Wish Granting Event, contestants and fans will make their way to the Christopher Reeve Theatre for the biggest Dragon Ball Z announcement in years. You will have to see it to believe it, but the announcement is sure to cause a stir with the millions of Dragon Ball Z fans in the United States.
Three of the biggest names in Dragon Ball Z will also be on hand to sign autographs and visit with fans. Sean Schemmel (the voice of Goku), Chris Sabat (the voice of Vegeta, Piccolo, Shenron and more), and Eric Vale (the voice of Trunks) will be appearing at the Dragon Ball Z area located in the Grand Hall Lobby of the Arlington Convention Center.
Wizard World Texas is the annual family-friendly pop culture extravaganza held at the Arlington Convention Center. It is a three-day event exploring comic books, toys, anime, movies, manga and video games, and featuring some of the biggest stars in comics, film and television.
One wish. Easy. See below.
Repeat.
Prettiest non-Lacey Images of the Week!
Okay, before I get a call from Sega's lawyers, I'm going to try to make up a bit to them. Below are some images of my favorite Sonic ally who is making a return appearance in the next-gen Sonic title that'll be coming out sometime this Winter. (But not launching for the PS3 anymore. Strange.)
That's right! It's Tails, your lovable freak of nature fox-type animal that debuted in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 back in 1992. Jesus, 1992?
This game looks to be pretty sharp, I'm happy to see these old school characters still alive today for a whole new generation of Dorito-munching youngsters to enjoy.
As you may have guessed, no word on the Lacey interview, but I shant give up that easily. I shall drop to one knee and hold her hand in mine and ask, "Lacey, will you do me the favor of being the luckiest interviewer in the whole world?"
Seriously, why am I single?
Most Insane Talkback Ever of the Week!
Okay, I hate admitting that I actually read what you guys write about my shit when it goes up, but this was just too good to pass up. If I didn't know any better I would have thought it was Harry posting due to the similar thought patterns.
Posted by: readyoufool
Subject: next gen is a big yawn
So where's the Big Difference? I'm actually pissed off with the whole next gen thing. None of it blows me away. Next gen systems are like the whole stupid HD thing. I work for a cable company and I constantly see people with true hd tvs (all kinds, plasma, lcd, etc...) and they always flip it to the discovery channel or some other true hd channel and, yeah, it looks good. But not mind blowingly reaslistic or some shit. So basically people will own blu ray or hd dvd players and they can watch a nice 1080i version of star wars or LOTR...or they can watch an hd version of Corky Romano...or they can watch an "HD" version of citizen kane or they can watch a gorilla fucking a zebra in the ass and the elephant trying to sneak it's trunk in there for a rimjob on the discovery channelHD. It all comes down to the writing and not so much to how it looks. I don't really want to see the glistening labia of an adult zebra, but if the story behind it is good I'll watch it again and again and marvel in the artistic merits of showing an arc of gorilla cum on the serengetti. Same thing with game systems. Nintendo will have the better gameplay and better games and kugy3000 was right, SOMEONE has finally innovated in the realm of games and they did it for less than the other two big players who are just putting out more of the same. Nintendo wins this christmas. the ps3 will be the equivalent of every stupid fucking movie that came out this last spring/summer and it'll make a bunch of money out of the gate and then fall off the charts in a "week". After that GTA and FF will be the only two reasons to get a ps3 (not so much gta and FF used to be with nintendo...who knows what the future holds. Anyone for GTA on the Wii? think about THAT for a second.) Basically, if you buy a ps3 instead of a Wii what you're saying is that you just want the gorilla cum money shot and could care less about koko's motivation. it's that simple. you sicko.
Holy hell, now that is a talkback. I agree with you readyoufool, I don't want to see the glistening labia of an adult zebra.
Somehow, (s)he (not sure) put together a great argument for Nintendo amongst insane descriptions of giraffe rim jobs and gorilla cum. Suck on that Kaz! Also, GTA4 will be releasing on the 360 as well, so the PS3 has that going against it.
For what it's worth, I'm going to be doing my damndest to get a Wii on release day even though I'll be halfway across the country freezing my furry ass off in New York. I have some people on the lookout for me. Stupid me didn't pre-order and now I'm stuck praying that my buddy gets his hands on a Wii for mii.
Do your best to not misconstrue this as me bashing on Sony and the PLAYSTATION 3. Personally I can't wait to check out the PS3 and some of the gorgeous games coming out for it; but read again what I wrote back in my introduction. My wallet has run off and dropping $600 for a new console is out of the question. Unless Sony wants to send me one. HEY SONY! The email is monki@aintitcoolmail.com, drop me a line and I'll get you an address. Oh, Quint will probably want one too, but if you can't fit both into a box that is fine, I think he is made out of cash anyway.
Best Wishes Wrap-Up of the Week!
Writing that down just made me realize, by this time next week, (assuming this gets posted on Friday) the PLAYSTATION 3 will have streeted. How many of you are planning on camping out to try to get one? How many of you are planning to go to your local Best Buy on Thursday night to point and laugh at the future Ebay profiteers? Again, I'll be up in NYC doing some real work related stuff so I won't be able to check out the lines in Austin.
So, best of luck to all of you line-sitters. I wouldn't do it, but damn if I don't respect you for being the one who has either used time off to get to sit in line, or is just skipping out on classes. Nice.
I'll end this whole she-bang-bang with a video that I blatantly stole from Kotaku about the dangers of that PSP you have in your hand, and the evil that is the internets. Oh, this was done during sweeps, if you didn't guess.
Remember, EXPERTS say parents should talk to their kids.
Until next time, back up the tree I go! Lacey, call me!
