Ok folks, it’s coming up on the third Annual Quentin Tarantino Film Fest here in Austin, Tx. I’m getting fired up, and ready to go. I’ll be attempting to do the impossible, covering a festival of ‘COOL’ films, party like hell, and report back to you each morning with not only coverage, but my regular updates. I’m gonna be sooooooooo traumitized by the end of this it ain’t even gonna be funny!

The word ‘cool’ will be uttered soooo many times I’ll start spitting out ice cube trays.

Now what is going to follow here are some of the titles and ‘themes’ for the nights of the fests. These are to be taken as.... what I have heard from.... A very reliable source VERY close to this festival. These were guaranteed at the time they were told to me, but we are dealing with Quentin, and if there is an overall theme to his fests in the past, it has been..... “You’ll see what you see and it’s gonna be fucking cool!!!” So relax, tense up, and get your ass to this theater because the last thing you’re gonna wanna do is to be sitting at home wishing upon a star that you were here, cause.... there is literally nothing on this planet you could be doing cooler (with the possible exception of Denise Richards or Sarah Michelle Gellar) so that really limits your choices....

Here’s the information for how to step up and join the festival at the Drafthouse....

Tickets go on sale to AFS MEMBERS on Monday, February 8th beginning at 10 AM (Central Standard Time) through 2 PM (Central Standard Time). If you are not a member, you can join at the same time you buy your tickets. They will be accepting credit cards and checks. The number to call is 512-322-0145. It will be a bitch to get through ok? So be patient and methodical. Redial is your friend.

Then, if there are tickets still remaining on February 13th (that’s an unlucky number for a reason, but you can try it), then tickets go on sale to the general public. The price of admission allows you to see all the events which will be totaling over 30 features and tons of kickass trailers. So here are the prices:

FESTIVAL PASS $125: ADMISSION TO ALL 9 DAYS OF THE QTIII FESTIVAL

5 DAY PASS: $75: GOOD FOR ADMISSION TO ANY 5 DAYS OF THE FESTIVAL

FRIDAY (3 FILMS) or SATURDAY (ALL NIGHTER!) SINGLE DAY PASS $30 per day

SUNDAY-THURSDAY SINGLE DAY PASS $20 per day

Now I don’t know what the prices will be for these Children’s matinees that will be showing on both Saturday morning/afternoons, but here are the films.....

VISIT TO A SMALL PLANET

On the first Saturday it’ll be: VISIT TO A SMALL PLANET starring Jerry “Hellooooo Laaaady” Lewis in a pretty damn insane flick. The director of this flick made over 100 features and knew his comedy inside and out cause he worked with everyone from Bob Hope and W.C. Fields to Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland on up to Elvis and Jerry Lewis. Though my favorite film of his was DR GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE. This film is based on a Gore Vidal play I believe that has Jerry come to earth to take a gander at us inneresting human beans. He’s surrounded by babes in the thing so beware....

Frankenstein Conquers The Earth

Oooooooh maaaaaaaaan, I cannot friggin wait! I’m so friggin jazzed about this film. I saw it as a kid and died. Watching it with an audience though.... wow... This flick if I remember was just stunningly goofy. Furankenshutain as he’s called in the film is actually this giant friggin grown version of the Frankenstein monster. The token American in the film is played by Nick Adams (aka Moose in REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE) and was one of those cool dudes that just seemed to disappear, though in reality he met with tragedy.

Friday ACTION with an Edge!

The Three Musketeers (1973)
The Four Musketeers (1974)

These two movies blew me away as a child, and have consistently blown me away ever since. I personally have quite a soft spot for the Gene Kelly/Lana Turner version, but this version is quite simply one of the greatest at a swordfighting film. It’s gritty, comic and daring. The characters and the casting are all note perfect, no squeeky wheels. I am told these two prints are immaculate perfections. And what a way to kick off this fest than with the spirit of adventure. I tell ya, the audience will be dying through these two. If you’ve never seen them..... hahahahaaha..... and you’re able to come.... hahahahahaah.... you’re doomed. Next thing ya know, you’ll be renting CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF and LOGAN’S RUN. It’s useless to resist... The first film was my first film to ever record. I believe I was about 5 years old, and figured out how to do it cause my parents were going to miss it and had been complaining about how they wanted it on tape, and I did it with the help of the remote that had a wire going from it to the VCR.... back in them olden days kiddies!!!

Zulu Dawn (1979)

If you have never seen a ZULU film (ZULU, ZULU DAWN and SHAKA ZULU) well then this is an amazing treat. I really can’t recommend it strongly enough. With Burt Lancaster, Peter O’Toole and Bob Hoskins and about a billion Zulu warriors that just about rule the friggin world in this film. This is a film to watch and imagine where we could go with todays filmmaking techniques for films like ALEXANDER, GLADIATOR and CRUSADE. This is epic filmmaking at one of it’s bests.

Saturday - Off Beat Exploitation

This will be a from dusk till dawn on slaught of films made.... NOT for today’s modern sensibilities but instead for a time when you could speak and not be henpecked, when you could joke about anything and everything.... Back when the world wasn’t so damn serious. This will be an exhausting middle finger to the NINETIES!!!!

Sunday - 70’s Double Feature

PRETTY MAIDS ALL IN A ROW (1971)

From the director of BARBARELLA and the pen of Gene “you probably worship me” Roddenberry..... Scored by Lalo “Enter The Dragon” Schifrin and the cinematographer of Police Academy 6.... Starring Rock “Ice Station Zebra” Hudson, Telly “Kojak” Savalas, Angie “Big Bad Mama” Dickinson, Roddy “Cornelius” McDowall, James “Scotty” Doohan and the unforgettable Keenan “Col. ‘Bat’ Guano” Wynn. WHAT THE HELL DO YA WANT MAN!!!! That’s just a cool group of people to make a movie that I don’t know squat about!!!

MOTHER, JUGGS AND SPEED (1976)

Bill Cosby as ‘Mother’, Raquel Welch as ‘Jugs’ and Harvey Keitel as ‘Speed’.... How’s that for a trio? Not good enough? Well how about Larry Hagman as an oversexed driver and directed by Peter Yates (director of KRULL, THE DEEP, EYEWITNESS, BULLITT and SUSPECT). I’m really looking forward to this, because I’ve heard it was hilarious.

Monday - 60’s Spy Films

Word has it these aren’t those ‘Austin Powers-y’ spoofed spy films like the FLINT series and MATT HELM, but rather they are serious dramatic spy films. Given we kept hearing word about Quentin and THE MAN FROM UNCLE feature, well.... I think these films (whatever they be) would sort of be a picture of where he’d have wanted to have headed. Or at least... so I think.

Tuesday - Neglected 70’s Crime Films

I don’t have a clue as to what he is showing, but given the last time out he showed us some DAMN GOOD neglected 70’s Crime films... I’d be willing to bet this night will kick some ass.

Wednesday - Spaghetti Westerns

Once again I have no idea what he’s planning, but personally I’m pulling for some sort of TRINITY western. I sure hope we get a Trinity western. I’d really love to see a Trinity western on the big screen, or maybe DEATH RIDES A HORSE.... yeah, that’d fucking rock. Come on QT kick our ass!

Thursday - War Film

He’s never done a night about this, but I do know that Quentin absolutely loves SAM FULLER, so I hope we get at least one of Fuller’s War flicks.... but there are literally a good 50 or so great war films that next to nobody has seen that would just kick our ass that I know of, and if I know of em... then Quentin probably could rattle off an additional 50 or so.

Friday - Surprise!!!

A night so cool, the theme froze in Quentin’s mouth to the tip of his tongue. Will it be Kung Fu? Will it be a retrospect of some writer or director? Will it be a low budget film that Quentin has secretly shot in Holland with unknown future stars? I don’t know. I have no clue what the hell is gonna happen on Friday. But you know what? I’m there!

Saturday - Men, Women and Chainsaws

Another all nighter.... I can tell you this, on every Horror film rundown of Quentin’s there have been some sort of Italian horror films on the cue card, there’s been some sort of psychologically fucked up horror film and something stunningly disturbing and screwed up beyond all recognition. His taste in horror runs from high brow to that of a urine stained seat in a rundown grindhouse theater in crime alley. A night for those with the klootzak to handle the very most esoteric and cool in horror. Probably not titles you are familiar with, unless you are the founder of Fangoria or Forry Ackerman.

And that... my friends... that is one helluvalot of coolness for your buckolas. Like I said, I’ll be there each and every night 2nd row center excitedly typing away. It’ll probably kill me, I’ll be drunk and rowdy, and having one lucky hufter of a time. If you want to know more on the fest, check out The Alamo Drafthouse’s Page on the QTIII Fest! and/or the Austin Film Society’s Webpage!!!

Hope to see ya there! It’s gonna be a big ol film orgy!!! It'll be soo much fun, plus it'll be for charity!!!! So you'll be doing good and having a kickass good time!!!