Well yesterday we had Bongo give his... appreciation for Jennifer Love Hewitt's talents, and now... Well meet Jivin' Jack Lynch, he's the man with the plan and he's gonna fry them good. In addition we have Howard the Duck quacking in with his fiendishly fowl feathered thoughts, so enjoy two more bits from I STILL KNOW....
Even though Bongo gave ISKWYDLS a 6 out of 10, it is still 6 points too generous.
The original at least had something going for it, yeah it was a bad movie, but at least you could sit through it without looking at your watch every 5 mintues wondering when the film would be over. Predictable. Plodding.
ISKWYDLS is just unwatchable...I never thought I would call horror film boring, but there it was...just intolerable, snail's pacing, unispired cinematography,...and so unimaginative. I wished I was anywhere but there, doing laundry, cleaning storm drains...anywhere but at this movie...I mean come on, it s a horror movie, show some creativitiy in your kills, the hook gets old fast. And remember that great soundtrack from IKWYDLS? Not a decent song to be found on ISKWYDLS.
Some things to enjoy though:
1. Lots Heaving terrified cleveage. Wet terrified heaving cleavage when the rains come.
2. Jennifer Love Hewitt emerging from the shower in a bathrobe that highlights her nipples.
3. Moesha's huge ass. (I believe Brandy was cast to make JLH's ass look small by comparision.)
4. Perfectly reasonable reactions to finding several dead bodies: (e.g. after finding several bodies, Moesha's boyfriend complains to the effect that he's tired, hungry, and most of all horny! Guess who dies next?)
5. JLH's opening profile shot. You'd think she could afford the nose job by now. Note to DP: Never the side shot. Always the 3/4 for JLH.
6. Obvious obligitory set-up for ISKWYDTSA (I still know what you did two summers ago.)
Please...enough already. Put it to rest.
Jivin' Jack Lynch
And now here's Howard the Duck's feelings on this screamer...
Howard the Duck here, still in Virginia. Last night, along with thousands of other college kids, I had the "privelege" to see a screening of I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, and I'd like to share my thoughts.
First of all, the line to get in was huge. If not for the help of my friend KING GEORGE (who reported to you about the VA Film Festival), I might not have gotten in. But I had a pretty good seat, despite the fact that the girl behind me kep kicking my chair and her boyfriend wouldn't shut up.
As for the movie, it asn't very scary but peopelw ere shrieking everytime that damn fisherman showed up (even without the usually omnipresent Psycho-esque musical shriek accompanying him). I have prepared a multiple choice quiz to see if this is the movie for you:
1. If a character is funny, he or she:
a) will live
b) will die
c) will be the best part of the movie, and then die
2. If a character is overtly suspected to be the killer:
a) he/she is the killer
b) he/she is not the killer
c) just when you are sure he/she is the killer, he/she is killed
3. If a chracter is stabbed with a sharp instrument in any part of
his/her body:
a) he/she will squirm, spouting blood, till he/she dies
b) he/she will sceam, fight, and convulse till he/she dies
c) immediately slump over, eyes closed, making getting killed with a
hook seem not very creepy and more like just going to sleep
4. If a character tries to make a move on the heroine:
a) he is not the killer
b) he is the killer
c) HE IS THE KILLER
I could ask more, but what's the point? Even surprise appearances by Jack Black (woo hoo!) couldn't save the movie (and I like Urban Legend). Bottom line: if you go to see the movie to see Love's cleavage, you won't be dissapointed. But any more expectations (at all) and you'll be dissapointed. I Still Know What You Did Last Summer will make millions on opening weekend, but it's not worth it. I'm glad I saw it for free. thanks for your time...
Howard The Duck
