I am – Hercules!!
Zeus love ABC, which is taking care of the sci-fi nerds these last three days of sweeps. Two hours of Rambaldi-soaked “Alias” on Monday, three hours of “Lost” on Wednesday, and three hours of Stephen King’s adaptation of his novel "Desperation" on Tuesday.
A long TV-movie which apparently began life as a miniseries, "Desperation" begins exceedingly well, with Ron Perlman as a huge, deranged lawman named Collie Entragian. Collie takes great glee in calling nice out-of-towners things like “blue-state swingles” before tossing them into Desperation, Nev.’s stir.
Things get even more interesting when we learn that Collie has been tossing a lot of innocent people in jail lately. And the people in jail turn out to be the only people alive in Desperation. And the dogs and wolves in Desperation seem to be a lot smarter than the average dumb animal.
Then, sadly, crazy lawman Collie – easily the most interesting character in “Desperation” – drives away in his squad car at about the movie’s halfway point and never comes back.
We subsequently learn more about what happened to Collie and the dogs in Desperation - but the more we learn, the less interesting “Desperation” becomes, and the more likely viewers will tune over to see which cities and towns NBC is vaporizing on “10.5 Apocalypse.”
But what matters Herc’s opinion?
The Washington Post says:
Stephen King is so emphatically the proverbial 800-pound gorilla that production companies are obliged not merely to place his name above that of a TV movie but also to include it as part of the title. The latest example of this presents a veritable "I dare you" to critics, who shun King generally, and particularly those who find his latest exercise in ho-hum horror to be exceptionally execrable. "Stephen King's Desperation." …
Entertainment Weekly gives it a “B” and says:
This made-for-TV movie from director Mick Garris (The Stand) and screenwriter/EW contributor King is serviceably scarifying. …
The New York Times says:
… It's King done right. … The plot-crammed movie is genuinely transfixing, as Mr. Garris and Mr. King again tap the master's inexhaustible magic hat of scattershot iconography: wolves, wounds, mineshafts, abandoned R.V.'s, ghostly children, sunburned cops, bleeding slot machines. The movie's tone, too, lurches in Mr. King's wonderfully off-balance way. First it's horrifying-madcap, then mournful, then glib, then straight screaming. Originally optioned as a feature, the story is a thorough sensory and emotional pounding, even on a small screen. It also sustains attention for its full three hours. …
The Hollywood Reporter says:
… King raises the age-old question about why a loving God permits so much unspeakable cruelty in his domain. It could be a provocative topic, particularly in a setting in which supplicants seek divine help to fend off evil, but it never goes beyond pious platitudes in this film. "Desperation" also contains its fair share of moron moments - grisly scenes that never would have happened if people didn't do idiotic things. People venture out alone or hang around when they should flee, all for the sake of an inevitably frightening moment. Consequently, it's best not to think too much about "Desperation" but just let it wash over you.…
Variety says:
Even with Stephen King adapting his own novel, "Desperation" can't escape the curse that has hounded most of the author's made-for-TV productions, which have a peculiar tendency of starting out like gangbusters and drifting into nonsense.… as with "It" and to a lesser degree "The Stand," which are perhaps King's most fully realized TV works, the final leg proves something of a letdown. … while there have been some worthy films derived from King's macabre works ("The Dead Zone" comes to mind), the author's TV legacy remains that of a ratings force lacking the creative power to stir the living, much less raise the dead.
The Boston Herald gives it a “C-minus” and says:
… suffers from a mishmash of bland clichés … Ron Perlman turns in a delightfully over-the-top performance … He’s the only one who seems to be happy to be in this movie. … Even more incongruous is the film’s religious tone. David, who saw a childhood friend saved through the power of prayer, believes God will give them the strength to escape Tak. It’s a slant that doesn’t work. When David spouts such things as, “God works through people, and right now he’s trying to work through us,” it seems bizarre. I hate to pick on child actors, but Haboucha’s passionless performance doesn’t work.
The Los Angeles Times says:
… Directed by Mick Garris (who also directed King's "The Stand" and "Riding the Bullet"), the film goes along quite well, with the usual grabs and gotchas no less effective for being so familiar, as long as no one is talking. While we are in dark rooms, or are waiting for that other shoe to drop — with a foot in it, and dealing with snakes and spiders, mean dogs and various icky insults to the human body, the film works pretty much as it's meant to. And then someone opens his mouth, and something like wit or thought is offered. But the wit isn't witty — "Don't call me cookie, and I won't call you cake" is what passes for a snappy line — and the thought is no deeper than what you'll hear in a junior high comparative religions class. The notable exceptions are the nutty baroque monologues King wrote for Perlman's sheriff …
8 p.m. Tuesday. ABC.
Alien Nation $24.97!!
Arrested Development $19.97!!
The Bob Newhart Show $14.97!!
Dark Angel $19.97!!
Greg The Bunny $13.47!!
Hill Street Blues $19.97!!
Harsh Realm $19.97!!
The Lone Gunmen!! $19.97!!
The Mary Tyler Moore Show $14.97!!
Millennium $29.97!!
Murder One $29.97!!
Planet of the Apes $24.97!!
Point Pleasant $19.97
Roswell $24.97!!
Tru Calling $13.47!!
Wonderfalls $19.97!!
Find a bunch of Fox’s 50-percent off season sets here.
