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Maybe X3 Doesn't Rock?!?!?!? Another X3 Review!!

Merrick is a mutant...

Val Verde just sent in a different take on X-MEN: THE LAST STAND; this one a little less positive than the the review we posted earlier.

Also, don’t forget that Fox will air a seven minute preview of the film tonight, during its 7pm block of THAT 70s SHOW programming. If I recall correctly, the preview should run immediately after the first episode of THAT 70s SHOW, but you may want to double check this.

I could go on endlessly about my unbreakable disdain for Brett Ratner’s “filmmaking” – a term I use loosely. The vibe I invariably get from his movies is that he simply doesn’t care – it’s reflected in his lack of style, and his films’ lack of energy. This being said, I would love to be proven wrong about him this time around, and sincerely hope X3 isn’t the wash many fear it will be.

The film will speak for itself on May 26.

Here’s Val Verde…

Saw X3 today and even though I'm sure you'll be getting a few of these today, here's my two cents.

If I had to sum the film up in one word it would be... underwhelming. It's not as bad as the early footage that was doing the rounds a few weeks ago might lead you to believe but I'll not be bothered if I never see this again.

Everything is just wasted. I don't really know much about the whole comic book lore but it's pretty obvious that Phoenix is a total badass. The thing is, after her big scene early on, she does nothing but sit on the sidelines until the very end when she goes a little psycho but is then wrapped up without much effort. If they'd just made the whole film about her vs. everyone it could have been awesome.

One of the things that I'd read was concerning people was the sheer number of characters in the film and how confusing that would be. Well unfortunately, it just feels like Wolverine and Storm + extras vs. Magneto + extras with the Phoenix watching from the side. All a big shame. The lesser characters do get some screen time though.

Ellen Page is good as Kitty Pryde but she's painted as being young and inexperienced but then somehow gets thrown in to the final fight. There's a mini love triangle thing with her, Rogue and Iceman but it just feels like a studio exec deemed it necessary rather than it being integral to the story. Vinny Jones is good on screen when he doesn't have any lines so it's a shame he gets to speak in this. I'll admit, the reference is lost on me but the delivery of the "I'm Juggernaut, bitch" line is awful. Which leads me on to the next gripe.

The dialogue feels hammy and forced and whilst there is nothing to quite rival Darth Vader's "Nooooooooo!!!!!!1", some do get close. Jean Luc Picard's exposition about Jean Grey to Wolverine is just too heavy as well. I'd imagine it would look fine on the page of a comic book but as Harrison Ford said, "you can write it but boy, you can't say it".

There are some really inexplicable moments too. When Magneto and Xavier go to see Jean Grey at her old house, Magneto orders his band of cronies to keep Wolverine and Storm outside. When trouble inevitably kicks off inside and Wolverine tries to go to help, the first thing Juggernaut does is pick up Logan and throw him INSIDE through the window. And when the Last Stand comes and Magneto does his big special effect in San Francisco harbor, he does it during the middle of a lovely afternoon. Then, in literally the next scene, it's pitch black. Not huge things but more than enough to annoy me silly.

All of that said, the film does have its moments. The first big pivotal scene where we see what Phoenix can do is breathtaking and you really get the struggle within Beast when he meets Leech and is confronted with the possibility of not being big and blue. It's just a shame about all the bits in-between.

One last thing, stay til after the final credits. X-Men: The Last Stand? Is it bollocks.

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