Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with MiraJeff's review of the Christmas Day Horror Flick, WOLF CREEK. He didn't care much for it. I radically disagree with him on many points, but at least we can agree that John Jarratt rocks out with his cock out in this movie. Is it flawed? Totally. Is it enjoyable? I think it is. Is it a bad movie? I don't think so, but MiraJeff will tell you different. Enjoy!
Greetings AICN, MiraJeff here with a review of the Christmas day release, Wolf Creek, a film that’s gotten huge buzz on the Internet, especially here. Alas, much of it is undeserved, because while Wolf Creek does have a realistic sense of dread going for it, there’s not much else happening in this overrated horror movie. Initially, I was really excited about Wolf Creek once I read that the Weinstein Co. picked it up quickly after it got good word of mouth at Sundance. I’ll admit, that trailer didn’t do too much for me, although that poster of the bloody girl alone on an endless stretch of desert highway worked very well. With its ‘based on a true story’ tag, I thought it looked like the Australian offspring of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Blair Witch Project. And although it was definitely better than Book of Shadows, I didn’t think even think it was as good as the TCM remake that Harry had a cameo in, though there it’s just mediocre enough to recommend to hardcore fans of the genre.
Besides its completely boring first act where we follow the characters as they trek across Down Under, the films biggest problems are its formulaic storyline and pretty one-dimensional characters that are hard to care about because they act like such caricatures. Although writer/director Greg McLean’s film looks intense with its grainy, washed out, sun-dried colors, the writing is stiff and cliché. The characters are so instantly forgettable, I can’t even remember their names, not to mention the guy (Nathan Phillips) was the only charismatic actor of the trio, and he’s given nothing to do in the second half besides “hang tight.” I don’t understand the current trend in horror movies where filmmakers think it is okay to bore us to death for 45 minutes while they set things up, only to get to the serious killing at the end. I mean, what happened to the “big opening scene” that Scream made popular again a decade ago. The story just seems so barebones. Take two girls and a guy; stick them in the middle of the Outback all alone with a busted car, a camcorder, some sexual tension, and a psychopath. That’s it. Just toss em all in a blender and hope it goes down smoothly, right? Well it didn’t, not in comparison to the far superior and scarier High Tension and Hostel, which I’ll review in a couple weeks.
There is one particularly effective scene with the intensely sadistic John Jarratt psychologically torturing one helpless victim before hacking off her fingers, a delight that is also featured in Hostel. Jarratt’s deranged performance as the not-so-nice helpful stranger is the only thing that makes Wolf Creek worth watching, as too often it plays like a by the numbers horror flick, offering few surprises along the way. The film always seems too aware of itself and what it is trying to do. It just doesn’t seem raw enough.
Also, am I supposed to be impressed or repulsed by the fact that it’s based on a true story, or true events, or whatever. I mean, aren’t they all nowadays? Why is Hollywood relying on either true crime or remakes for its horror/serial killer material? The knowledge that something actually happened doesn’t really make a movie any scarier. Here’s a list of titles from just this year that were either remakes or based on reality: The Amityville Horror, House of Wax, Dark Water, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, The Fog, The Ring 2, and Hostel, coming soon. What’s next, Boogeyman 2? Inspired by real boogeymen that lived in real closets and under real beds? And as for next year, we have DePalma’s Black Dahlia movie, Fincher’s Zodiac, Salma and Jared Leto in Lonely Hearts, not to mention several remakes including Pulse, The Hills Have Eyes, and When a Stranger Calls.
Why doesn’t Hollywood get in touch with me? I’ve got ideas for a remake of The Abominable Dr. Phibes and a movie about axe murderess Lizzie Borden. The point of this mini-rant is that Hollywood needs to step it up creatively in the horror genre. We’re ready for the next Freddy, Jason, or Michael. Whatever the answer is, Wolf Creek isn’t it. Save your money until Eli Roth and his blowtorch come to a theater near you. I’ll be back before New Year’s with my Best Of 2005 lists, but be patient if I don’t make my own deadline. It just means I’m re-watching my Kong bootleg. ‘Til then folks, may you sleep easy knowing that the nut job who committed the crimes depicted in Wolf Creek was recently convicted and is safe behind bars tonight, and Happy Holidays to everyone from AICN New York.
