Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
Really? I mean, I saw the trailer for this on the DVD for MR & MRS SMITH and I didn’t really get it. So the film is good? Well, that’s what today’s reviewer says. Check it out:
Clark Johnson is a fantastic director. If I want to get anything across in the course of this review (or tangential stream of bullshit) that's it. You probably already know this if you watched season three of The Shield. I was pretty stoked when he was attached to SWAT. The film had it's moments, but I basically lost interest after the "Black Hawk Down in an American city" concept blew it's wad too early. It felt like the film was going to get flat-out-fucking-insane and go places other action films hadn't...
...then all of these supposedly formidable heavies just dissapeared in order for a mediocre finale to come together. The holy-fucking-shit, kinetic, hand held camera work from The Shield didn't work that well with the odd sheen Gabby (or is it Gabbie?) gave the film. It was also awkardly and Lee "how the fuck can I walk across the street in LA without everyone laughing at me after I made Torque, XXX2, and Stealth" Moritz seemed eager to shoehorn some really awful modern music into the mix (and this is coming from a guy that is avidly defending the use of Jay-Z/Linkin Park in a trailer).
I was hoping The Sentinel would prove that he really was a talent to watch, and his style would work on the big screen. Would he ascend above The Cockfag Elite (Rob Cohen, Joseph Khan etc.)? The answer is yes. Johnson joins the ranks of a rare few action directors that make a project worth following simply because they're attached. I used to rest comfortably in thinking John Woo was the best working action director, and he was, but lately I've been waiting to see who would take the mantle. Woo burned a million bridges with the one-two-three punch of M:I-2, Windtalkers, and Paycheck. Johnson's not there yet... but he could be. We'll have to wait on Michael Davis and see if Tony Scott finds a middle ground between True Romance and Domino. At the moment, my money is on Doug Liman*.
*(I know, I know. He got an agent because of his dad. Second Unit makes him look good. Blah, blah, blah. Shut the fuck up.)
**(I also know Kurt Wimmer is going to be way up there in a few years.)
I was going to get into the plot, but you probably don't want to know any more than you get from the trailer. It's basically The Fugitive meets In the Line of Fire. If you think that sounds interesting, you'll love it. If you don't think it sounds interesting, why the fuck are you reading this review? Michael Douglas plays a secret service agent that took a bullet for Ronald "I don't care about homosexuals" Reagan. Kiefer Sutherland is a fellow secret service agent who trained under Douglas and now has issues with him for reasons you'll find out later in the movie. Kim Basinger plays the president's wife, and she has a much larger part than the actual president, for reasons you'll find out when you watch the movie. Eva Longoria is hot and has a nice ass. That's her character.
The Sentinel is a very broad and very exciting action/thriller. The trailer gives a lot away, but not too much. I expected to hate Eva Longoria in one of those stupid kneejerk sort of ways because I avoid Desperate Housewives on principle. The only show I watch on ABC is Lost. It's like a great bar in a really bad part of town. You only go there for it, then you get the fuck out of there as soon as possible and hope you survive. She wasn't bad, but she's totally fucking unecessary. Honestly, if you dig her, you'll dig her in this movie. There are several totally unecessary scenes where characters acknowledge that she's beautiful in the most on the nose ways possible. They stare at her ass. They stare at her ass again. They ask her out on dates at the most awkward moments. Then again, they'll probably jettison all of those parts as they're the only things that can go to make the first act move quicker.
Kiefer Sutherland is playing a variation on Jack Bauer. He's not as badass, but he works, and I think he was well cast. Michael Douglas is fantastic as usual. Kim Basinger is essential to the plot, but her character is pretty thin. None of this really matters, as the film moves really quickly and entertains the hell out of you. The rest of the cast is rounded out with competent and effective character actors and a goofy choice for the president. His portrait is hilarious as his eyes seem to burn through your fucking soul. Still, he works.
The action is really, really, really fucking good. A shoot-out in the mall is awfully intense. It's really close to that edge-of-your-seat feeling that you get in the middle of any great action scene on The Shield. The cinematography is fast and hand held, with a really cool mix between a voyeuristic documentary and a traditional action film. It's a VAST improvement over the work they did together on Swat. I can't wait to see it with an actual score instead of the lame temp music that was all over the place as far as the tone was concerned.
The film has some really interesting twist and turns that you won't see coming until you're supposed to know. I was expecting a few things to happen and I was pleasantly surprised that they were going in a different direction. The finale could be a little more emotionally effecting if they hit the right note with the score.
Closing thoughts? Uh... well... it will make a lot of fucking money. The dialogue was mediocre at best. There's a really strange bit, either that or I was too stupid to figure it out, with Michael Douglas sucking a straw. I paid way too much for parking afterwards. There wasn't enough Chuck Norris in it. I guess that's all I have to say.
Tequila Mockingbird
P.S. If you don't dig the M:I:III trailer you'd never dig anything they came up with. Sure, it's not Snakes on a Plane. But what the fuck is? Hoffman, Pegg, Kilmer, Crudup, Giacchino, Monaghan (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is the best movie of the year), and JJ. 'Nuff said. Go be negative for no reason somewhere else.
Tequila’s been a contributor for a while, so before you start calling him all leafy and green, pop some quotes around his name and pull up some past reviews. Seems like he dug the crap out of this one, eh?
"Moriarty" out.
