Ahoy, squirts! Quint here to present MiraJeff and his opinion of a couple of holiday comedies that didn't really float his boat. So, if you need your Christmas Cheer look elsewhere. This aren't really venomous, but they're certainly not happy. Enjoy!!!
Greetings AICN, MiraJeff here with a look at a pair of comedies, both of which you may want to leave off your holiday viewing list. With so many great movies coming to theaters this holiday season, you can’t afford to waste time on these lumps of coal.
First up, My Big Fat Independent Movie
The spoof film appears to be a lost art. There hasn’t been a genuinely funny spoof movie since the days of Blazing Saddles and Airplane! The only possible exception might be Scary Movie, but really, when was the last time you popped that into the DVD player? The Scary Movie sequels were weak and weaker. Club Dread was slightly better than dreadful. Not Another Teen Movie tried but failed. Mafia should’ve been whacked. And Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th was truly scary. With horror and teen comedy spoofs sufficiently covered, it was only a matter of time before some clever indie filmmaker ridiculed his own grassroots influences. So, without further adieu, cue My Big Fat Independent Movie, a certifiable send-up of those often brainy, often violent pictures we call our favorite movies.
Director Philip Zlotorynski shows no mercy in his feature-length debut which fails to recognize any sort of limit as it lampoons films such as Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs, Pi, The Good Girl, Run Lola Run, Magnolia, Amelie, Swingers, El Mariachi, Memento, and duh, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Co-written by Adam Schwartz and Film Threat editor Chris Gore, the plot follows a pair of interracial hitmen, a lonely Swinger, and a desperate housewife as they attempt to botch a robbery in Las Vegas.
Neil Barton scores points as one of the hitmen who loves to point out formulaic story advances in indie films. Pete Jones, Pauly Shore, Bob Odenkirk cameo along with Clint Howard, who plays a Winston Wolf-like problem solver. The biggest laughs may come from a voice actor, albeit someone whose voice is recognizable to every indie film lover. That’s right, Jason Mewes shows up as a perverted answering machine that goes along for the ride. Brian Krow and Rob Schrab also steal scenes as Memento Man and Pi’s Bald Genius, respectively. If anything, consider the film prophetic for its pairing of Jennifer Aniston’s character from The Good Girl with Vince Vaughn’s character from Swingers. As annoying as Paget Brewster and Darren Keefe are as the future couple, they’re not as annoying as the recent media celebration of Aniston’s new relationship with surprising love interest Vaughn. (He’s funny, she’s sexy, now leave em alone!).
Using the formula Scary Movie made successful, MBFIM crams as many film references as it can into its mere 80 minute running time, keeping the jokes coming faster than Franka Potente runs. Unfortunately, as hard as the script works to mock its revered predecessors, the jokes are hit and miss, and more often the latter. And while MBFIM takes swipes at the structural flaws, plot contrivances, and annoying characters we’ve come to love in those films, the plot largely functions as homage to them. However, if success is the requirement for satire, then MBFIM’s gags can’t go too far without seeming tired. I mean, some of the stale set-ups here you can see coming a mile away. Imitation may be the most sincere form of flattery, but the referenced films can safely shrug off MBFIM’s harmless punches, as it mocks their popularity with a jealous sense of humor. Described as a low-brow comedy for the high-brow crowd, I struggle to think any crowd, high brow or low, would find this stuff funny. My Big Fat Independent Movie might be worth a rental for die-hard movie fans, but for this one in particular, it was a big fat disappointment. The film opens in New York at the Two Boots Pioneer Theater on Nov 25th.
But wait… I almost forgot to tell you about the best part. The film has an animated opening title sequence, complete with a name-dropping music theme. And Ain’t It Cool gets mentioned not once, but twice. Thanks go out to animator Evan Mather and whoever wrote that damn catchy song. Here’s a sample of the lyrics.
“There’s cameos by Eric Stoltz, Buscemi, and Ed Burns With Keitel, Swank, and Harry Knowles all taking their star turns…
We’ll hit it big on Ain’t It Cool, Film Threat, and IFC Lion’s Gate and Artisan will fight for its release…”
And for a bad review encore we have… Daltry Calhoun
The Weinstein Brothers dumped their latest abortion into theaters with what can only be called a “stealth” marketing campaign. Their latest dud offering calls itself Daltry Calhoun and with Johnny Knoxville as the lead thespian, you can be sure it reeks of unfunniness. That’s not to say Knoxville isn’t hilarious. On the contrary; He’s hilarious. But the material he’s given to work with here makes him lamer than my 10th grade Physics teacher. Daltry, you see, is no-good white trash who somehow turns himself into a self-made businessman. When his sod empire is threatened by a mutation in the soil, he turns to Frankie Strunk, a nitwit from Down Under who specializes in fixing problems like the one Daltry’s grown himself. So while he struggles to avoid bankruptcy, Daltry is also burdened with the return of his fatally ill ex-girlfriend (Elizabeth Banks) and their musical prodigy teenage daughter, June (Sophie Traub).
As soon as 16 year-old Traub is introduced, it’s clear that Daltry Calhoun is her movie. Johnny Knoxville, when it boils down to it, is a supporting character in his own movie. This is okay, because Traub becomes one of the film’s only redeeming qualities. She’s got the looks of a young Mena Suvari, and the intelligence of a young Sarah Polley. I think she’s a real find, and a young actress to keep your eye on.
As for the rest of the cast, Juliette Lewis co-stars as a local woman involved with Daltry. Material aside, it’s nice to see Lewis show off her acting chops in the film’s emotional scenes with Traub, rather than just gallivant in another Todd Phillips movie. She needs work more suited to her bad-ass persona. Remember Natural Born Killers, Strange Days, Kalifornia, Cape Fear? Man, she used to kick major ass. Elizabeth Banks does the best she can with her caricature of a character, and while she looks good doing it, she sounds terrible. Then again, there probably wasn’t a dialect coach on this film. Still, I loved her in The Baxter and 40 Year-Old Virgin, and can’t wait to see her kick slug ass in Slither. Elsewhere, Kick Gurry’s uneven Australian farmer shines in an awkward scene where June comes onto him, and David Koechner (Anchorman) squeezes a couple laughs out of his lifeless, cliché-riddled illiterate gardener role. Beth Grant (Mrs. Farmer in Donnie Darko) also makes a cameo, though she’s nearly unrecognizable under a long blonde wig that makes her look 20 years younger. Also of note is the soundtrack, which features music from Johnny Cash, Frankie Valley, and Ed Harcourt, and lends some credibility to the proceedings.
Knoxville gives a truly abysmal performance, devoid of any charisma apart from his TV commercial persona, the only time during the entire movie that Knoxville doesn’t stammer through his lines. None of the Jackass bravura is on display here, and frankly, the film suffers from that lack of outrageousness. Knoxville is simply boring in the movie, because the script gives him nothing to do. He just needs a juicy role, like something akin to Jason Lee’s turn as Lucifer in Dogma. Hell, with Knoxville’s beady eyes and devilish smile, I could even see him as The Joker.
Writer/director Katrina Holden Bronson’s script is a disaster on par with her first name. The “story” is free of any flow, and follows Daltry as he struggles to be a parent to June, who is going through that traumatizing experience called puberty. With his grass business having seen “greener” times, she gives him something to live for, while he gives her the strength to move on with her life and pursuit of music following the death of her mother. The story wouldn’t seem so bad if we cared more about Knoxville’s character, but his lack of a performance makes Daltry a difficult character to empathize with. Bronson’s characters are barely more than one-note, and through most of the movie, it seems like the film isn’t even trying to wrangle laughs from the audience, despite being billed as a comedy.
Perhaps the most shocking thing about Daltry Calhoun is that it was executive produced by none other than Quentin Tarantino, which begs two questions. 1. Why wasn’t this released under the “Quentin Tarantino Presents” banner? And 2. How in the name of Christ did Tarantino get associated with this project? I can’t imagine he was on-set, watching this shit get made, so why even bother with the producer credit. Why would he want his name on this? I suspect it was because the film is set in Tennessee. But I guess we’ll have to wait until Hostel opens for our real holiday present from QT.
That’s all I got for now folks. Computer problems have been cramping my style lately, but I’ve got so many reviews backlogged right now, I’m sure one by one they’ll start creeping onto the AICN servers. Until then friends, do as Daltry says and “Get high on grass. The legal kind!” Or something like that.
