Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
I’ve mentioned HorrorThon repeatedly in the last few years, but it’s always been an informal thing, a shorthand for the fact that I love to watch loads and loads of horror films every October. I’ve never really done a full-fledged horror marathon here at the house with a set beginning, middle, and end before.
This year’s gonna be different.
This year, I want to invite you to join me, starting at 7:00 PM PST on Friday night, when MASTERS OF HORROR premieres on Showtime. Although I won’t be reviewing the episode (for obvious reasons), feel free to use this space to Talkback about the show. At 8:15, following a brief break for me to update the site, we’ll be starting our first film of the marathon, and I’ll update again right after that.
In fact, with the exception of only three five-hour gaps all weekend, I’ll be back to update after every movie, every two hours or so, all the way up to Monday at midnight. If I do this right, I could end up screening as many as 30 movies during this marathon.
Feel free to comment on the film as we’re watching them here at the Labs, or program your own marathon and post about alternative titles. If you’re a friend of the Labs and you’re here in LA anytime between Friday night and Monday night, give us a call and feel free to stop by. I’ve been stockpiling films, and there are almost 60 titles here that we’ll be picking from over the course of the event.
I’ll be posting the full details of AICN’s Bruce Campbell Contest right here at some point during the marathon, so the more attentive readers will have the best shot at winning that one. You’ll have to be quick. In addition, I’ll be posting some other exclusive Halloween-themed content, including a story about the visit I’m making to the “set” of Sony’s MONSTER HOUSE in just a few hours, and my full interview with one of the most gifted filmmakers in the genre, David Cronenberg, just in time for Halloween.
All in all, I plan to make it a great weekend for horror fans, and I hope you’ll hang out and play along.
#1 - MASTERS OF HORROR
There have been a number of “best day ever” sort of days here at the Labs this year, personal and professional, and I can’t deny... it’s pretty exciting to actually see this series finally premiere. In eight weeks, my balls are going to be the ones on the chopping block when CIGARETTE BURNS airs (and did you SEE those two great new stills in the issue of FANGORIA on stands now?!), but tonight, Don Coscarelli’s the man of the hour, working from a script he co-wrote with Steve Romano, based on a Joe Lansdale short story. When we ran into Ethan Embry in Vancouver, my writing parter and I were astounded by the physical change in him. Personally, I’m just happy to see Don do something that’s a pure horror film, as opposed to a comedy with horror elements. As I said... I’m not reviewing this one... so what did you guys think?
So what's next? I've got Mr. Beaks and other guests in the front room right now deciding that. The stack includes, but is not limited to: THE DOCTOR AND THE DEVILS, THE FUNHOUSE, I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE, THE BIRD WITH THE CRYSTAL PLUMAGE, TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD (and, of course, the rest of that BLIND DEAD box that just came out), ONE MISSED CALL, ALONE IN THE DARK, TALES FROM THE CRYPT SEASON TWO, THE DUNWICH HORROR, THE INNOCENTS, A WHISPER IN THE DARK, PANIC BEATS, STREET TRASH, THE DEAD NEXT DOOR, any episodes of KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER, RACE WITH THE DEVIL, THE JACKHAMMER MASSACRE, NAIL GUN MASSACRE, PRIVATE PARTS by Paul Bartel, COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT, HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (the Vincent Price version), STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER, WHISPERING STAIRS, A TALE OF TWO SISTERS, THE BIG ALLIGATOR RIVER... just to start. As I said before we began, I'll be back between each film to update.
#2 - THE CAT PEOPLE (1942)
You might as well kick off with one of the greats, right? The film starts with a perfect little pick-up scene, as Kent Smith, playing the startlingly-named Oliver Reed, meets Irena (Simone Simon), a beautiful girl with an unusual accent and manner. She’s at the zoo, sketching the big cats, and their banter escalates quickly. She’s a weird girl, no two ways about it, but he’s drawn to her, and before he knows what’s happened, they’re in love. She’s haunted, though, by a secret. He doesn’t care. He marries her anyway. They can’t be together, even after their marriage, because of a curse that she finally explains. I love how movies from this era talk around things so elegantly, but it’s pretty obvious: if she fucks her husband, she will become a giant cat and she will kill him. She’s utterly convinced of it. The film paints a portrait of a sheltered woman, her whole life defined by a firm belief in mythology, who is falling apart psychologically under the pressure of a new relationship. Oliver tries to love her, but eventually, he has to acknowledge that she’s crazy. Dr. Judd (Tom Conway) and Alice (Jane Randolph) both try to help Oliver in his efforts to snap Irena out of her delusion, and in the process, they put themselves in harm’s way with him. This is a subtle film, and a great one, beautifully scripted by DeWitt Bodeen, and like most truly great horror films, it works on more than one level. It’s full of classic moments, like Irena playing with a bird in a cage and scaring it to death, and the film manages to make mundane things like a walk in the park or a late-night dip in a pool terrifying. The rich B&W photography by Nicholas Musuraca (who also shot OUT OF THE PAST) is reproduced well here, although the print’s a little rough in places. Later on in this marathon, I’ll definitely come back to this disc for the quasi-sequel, THE CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE, included as part of a double-feature.
#3 - DOLLS
MGM may not add a lot of value to their titles, but at least they actually put out a ton of them. DOLLS is one of those films that I never saw, but I’ve always known it because of that poster. Honestly, I didn’t even realize this was a Stuart Gordon film until I picked it up recently. Ed Naha’s script doesn’t waste a lot of time with exposition up front, and that’s a good thing. Various people, caught in a rainstorm in the country, end up taking refuge in the home of an old couple. Gabriel Hartwicke (Guy Rolfe, from MR. SARDONICUS and a ton of other English films) is a dollmaker, and he quickly takes a liking to Judy (Carrie Lorraine), a little girl traveling with her father and stepmother. There’s a great fairy tale vibe to the whole film, from the opening killer teddy bear dream to the evil stepmother character to the way Judy talks about elves, and Gordon gives good mood all the way through. Thanks to some of the characters (nice Madonna wear, ladies) and music, you will never forget for once moment that this was made in 1987, but it’s genuinely creepy, and the big scares pay off. You can see how this inspired later films from producer Charles Band like the PUPPET MASTER series (which also featured Guy Rolfe) and DEMONIC TOYS. The stop-motion is used sparingly here, and to good effect. Two audio commentaries (one by Naha and Gordon, the other with the cast) as well as a storyboard-to-film comparison, a photo gallery, and a suitably cheesy vintage trailer all make this a nicer-than-average MGM catalog release.
It's 11:30 by this point, and I'm going to tuck the family in to sleep, then try to fit in one or two more films before calling it a night. I think next up is THE CANDY SNATCHERS.
Okay, it's 1:45. There was a slight change in plans, so instead of THE CANDY SNATCHERS, the next film up was...
#4 - ALONE IN THE DARK
And, no, not the shitty “Dr. Oooovay Bowl” movie. I’m talking about Jack Sholder’s debut, this 1982 thriller starring Jack Palance, Donald Pleasance, Martin Landau, and Dwight Schultz. Never saw this one in the theater or on video, but I was familiar with it because of the clips in TERROR IN THE AISLES. Great cast, huh? Sholder’s a solid filmmaker, and this is one of his better overall efforts. Looks like he was just hungry as a first-time director and he really worked to make the film something special. Donald Pleasance runs an experimental asylum called The Haven. He’s pretty much playing the exact opposite of Dr. Loomis from HALLOWEEN. He doesn’t believe in locking up his lunatics... he believes in rehabilitating them, living with them. The doctor in charge of the ward containing the most dangerous inmates gets a transfer, and a new doctor is brought in. The new guy, Dan Potter (Schultz) tries his best to connect to his patients (including Landau and Palance), but they’re convinced that he killed the other doctor to take his place. Since all the locks in The Haven are controlled electronically, a city-wide blackout provides the inmates with a chance to escape. Once they do, they hunt down Dr. Potter and his family. It’s well-written, there’s a dark sense of humor that never undermines the genuine mood of fear, and the performances by everyone are pretty good. Image put together a nice special edition with a lovely new anamorphic transfer, audio commentary by Sholder, interviews with actress Carol Levy (the proverbial “dead babysitter”) and punk band The Sic Fucks, with liner notes by FANGORIA’s Michael Gingold. Good stuff, and a nice reminder of where New Line originally began.
Okay. Plans are for fools. Originally, I was going to watch THE CANDY SNATCHERS before going to sleep, but instead, I decided to watch a film in the bedroom, and I chose something very different...
#5 - TOMBS OF THE BLIND DEAD
How may times has this happened to you? Over and over, you heard about some lost cult classic, some obscurity that you’ve supposedly missed out on, and when you do finally get around to seeing it, you’re struck mainly by the feeling that it was obscure for a reason.
Well, happily, that’s not the case with this one. The first in Amando De Ossorio’s BLIND DEAD series is actually quite affecting. Made a few years after NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, this was De Ossorio’s direct reaction to that film. He managed to give it a fresh spin, though, by pinning the whole thing on the legend of the Knights Templar. He explains that they returned from the Crusades with a new faith to replace Christianity. When the Church learned that the Knights had dedicated themselves to Satan, they were put to death, and their eyes were burned out so they couldn’t find their way back from Hell. Since this is a horror film, they do indeed find their way back, and they aren’t portrayed like regular zombies. In fact, they may put you in mind of the Black Riders from LORD OF THE RINGS, spectral figures of menace on horseback. The film is crudely made, but De Ossorio knows what he’s doing as a filmmaker. The Blind Dead use sound and smell to track their prey, and in one particularly great scene, they use the sound of a terrified woman’s heartbeat to track her down. The entire film feels like a nightmare, and Blue Underground did an excellent job with the disc. One of the craziest extras is an alternate opening, created by an American distributor to try and cash in on the success of PLANET OF THE APES. There is something vaguely simian about the make-up on the Blind Dead, but even so, REVENGE OF PLANET APE seems like an expecially batshit idea. Consider this one a pleasant surprise, and I’m sure we’ll see more of these later in the marathon.
I finally crumbled here and got some sleep, but then bounced back this morning, and I've already seen two films. First up...
#6 - ONE MISSED CALL
You know it’s going to be a good day if you start it off with a little Miike. Narratively, this film’s not much different than THE RING or any of its various knock-offs, but whoever talked Takashi Miike into directing it deserves a bonus. This is one seriously creepy fucking movie, all because of how he approaches the material. Even when Miike thinks he’s making a comedy, like with GOZU, his movies still freak me out. When all he has on his mind is scaring you, he displays a wicked affinity for all the tricks of the trade. Compare this to the far more mild-mannered PHONE, and you’ll see what a difference a director makes. There’s something gleefully unhinged about Miike’s work here, and it looks a little bigger budget than his regular output. Don’t expect him to reinvent the wheel, and you’ll be pleasantly freaked out. Media Blasters put out a solid R1 two-disc edition, and it’s worth picking up. Now if only I could download that ringtone...
Miike and breakfast... seems like a perfect match, doesn't it? About 10:00, I put on the second film of the day, which couldn't have been more different.
#7 - THE DOCTOR AND THE DEVILS
A class act all the way, this may not be a typical horror film, but it’s dark, grim stuff. Freddie Francis, who also directed TORTURE GARDEN, which we’ll screen later today, did a really nice job with this one. The poet Dylan Thomas wrote the first version of this screenplay, but Ronald Harwood (Oscar-winner for THE PIANIST) wrote the final draft. Based on a true story, Timothy Dalton plays Thomas Rock, an anatomy professor in Edinburgh in the 1820s. He believes that the only way medical science can progress is by studying the freshest cadavers possible. He can’t wait for the occasional hanged criminal to be turned over by the state, so he offers money under the table to grave robbers who can come up with worthwhile specimens. Two petty criminals, Fallon (Jonathan Pryce) and Broom (Stephen Rea), see a golden opportunity, and in their zeal to get paid, they’ll do anything... even murder. Julian Sands and Twiggy fill out the cast, and everyone’s quite good. More than anything, this is a story about the evil men do to one another in the name of science, or greed, or just plain madness. This was one of the films that Mel Brooks produced for Fox in the ‘80s, and like THE FLY, it holds up well today.
Just after noon, we started the third film of the day, and although more of a crime film than a straight-up horror film, you cannot deny the power of...
#8 - THE CANDY SNATCHERS
Here’s another one that doesn’t waste any time up front. In fact, this may be one of the quickest set-ups I’ve ever seen. First, we see Candy Philips (Susan Sennet), 16, blonde, in her little schoolgirl outfit. Then we cut to three kidnappers (Tiffany Boling, Brad David, and Vincent Martorano) watching her, wearing disguises. Main title up: THE CANDY SNATCHERS.
Get it?
Well, in case you don’t, they snatch Candy. First thing, even before the rest of the titles play. They snatch her right off the street, then they take her out and bury her alive for safekeeping. By ten minutes in, everything’s in motion. This is pure exploitation. Nothing slick about it. The kidnappers lay out their plan. Candy’s father (Ben Piazza) makes some plans of his own. And the whole thing goes to shit for all involved. It’s a simple formula picture, but there are moments where it appears that writer Bryan Gindoff and director Guerdon Trueblood might both be genuinely mentally ill. There’s an entire subplot about a little boy named Sean who finds the buried air pipe leading to Candy’s coffin. He plays with it, listens to it, drops stuff down it to see what will happen. Before he can do anything to help her, though, he gets called home, and then his story just starts getting weirder and weirder. Candy’s father doesn’t do anything I expected him to, and one of the perverse delights of the film is trying to guess where it’s going. I love that the print Subversive Cinema found isn’t really that great. Even the MPAA card at the beginning is slightly faded to green. It looks like something that’s been kicking around since the ‘70s, and you can almost imagine you’re at the drive-in watching it. There’s one exchange of dialogue between the kidnappers that will make BIG LEBOWSKI fans cheer. You’ve got all the hallmarks here of exploitation cinema: child abuse, rape, mutilation, double-crosses galore, and a little kid so bizarre he seems like a special effect. Fun for the whole family.
Obi-Swan showed up at this point, and a few other friends called to say they were on their way, so it was back to Freddie Francis for the next film...
#9 - TORTURE GARDEN
”Written by Robert Bloch.” Damn straight. Bloch is one of my favorite genre writers, especially his short stories. He’s just plain good at what he does. Here, he’s the man with the plan for this Amicus Studios anthology film. Burgess Meredith and Jack Palance star in the big wraparound story, set backstage at a private show by Dr. Diablo. The first story is about a guy trying to get his hands on his uncle’s gold. Once he does, he’s not prepared for the dark secrets that come with it. One of the best scenes is the guy’s jailhouse confession, where everything he says is true but sounds totally insane. The second story is very DEATH BECOMES HER, and it reveals a pretty naked contempt of movie stars and fame. The third story, the one real dud of the bunch, is about a haunted piano. The real winner is the last one, with Peter Cushing and Palance as rival collectors of the work of Poe. None of these really tower over the others, but taken as a whole, it’s a fun collection. And you’ve got to love the world’s least subtle reveal in the last shot when Burgess Meredith turns to the camera and basically says, “So, anyway, I’m Satan. Get it?” before the POLICE SQUAD style freeze-frame that isn’t really frozen.
Following this, we wanted to watch something short while waiting for a few more people to show up, so we picked an episode of...
#10 - TALES FROM THE CRYPT
We tossed in disc one of the new Season Two collection and put on Walter Hill’s “Cutting Cards.” Starring Lance Henriksen and Kevin Tighe, this could also be subtitled “Two Degenerate Gamblers Getting What They Deserve.” It’s just these two guys egging each other on, betting on more and more ridiculous contests. There’s a sort of a nod to the same episode of ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS that inspired Quentin Tarantino’s FOUR ROOMS segment. Henriksen also wrote this one, and it’s a pure actor’s showcase. It’s still one of my all-time favorite CRYPT episodes.
Once everyone arrived, we put on a real crowd-pleaser, the type of film you have to watch with a bunch of friends...
#11 - STREET TRASH
This is the kind of movie that gets people arrested. It looks like it was shot totally guerilla on the streets of New York, which makes it amazing just on a technical level. What’s even stranger is the idea that the film is actually good. Director Jim Muro has a genuinely good eye for composition and a real energy to his shooting style. There are several different movies going on at once here, and Muro does a pretty good job of juggling his various storylines. The cast does what they can, but this film is more about being outrageous than it is about great acting. Because the film doesn’t even try to play by the rules, you’ll never have any idea what’s coming next, all the way up to the very last scene. I’m mystified as to why Muro didn’t work more after this as a director, but according to the liner notes, he became an acclaimed Steadicam operator on films like T2 and JFK, eventually graduating to the director of photography on recent films like OPEN RANGE and this year’s CRASH. This is easily the goriest movie so far in the marathon, and Don May’s Synapse Films deserves special praise for the jaw-droppingly great transfer. This film never looked this good on DVD, and I’m not even sure I knew it could look this good. Great disc. Great fun.
For the next three films, we had a few guests in and out of the Labs, and we picked a really odd triple-feature of stuff, starting with a return to the basics...
#12 - I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE
Another collaboration between producer Val Lewton and director Jacques Tourneur, this is an atmospheric riff on JANE EYRE, the story of a young nurse (Frances Dee) who takes a job in Haiti caring for the catatonic wife of a local landowner. She falls in love with him and decides that the best way to demonstrate her love is by curing his wife. To do so, she has to delve into the local world of voodoo. This is a languid, sensual film, beautifully photographed, and it’s very creepy even if it’s not really terrifying. As with CAT PEOPLE, this is just plain elegant, and so brief that it leaves you wanting more.
By now, even more friends had arrived, and one of AICN's oldest spies, Tom Joad, got to pick the next title, lucky number thirteen. He's seen more horror films than I have, but neither of us had seen the disc he put on:
#13 - PRIVATE PARTS
Paul Bartel’s directed and appeared in some great exploitation titles over the years, like DEATH RACE 2000 or EATING RAOUL. Here’s one I’m not familiar with, though, originally released in 1972. Cheryl (Ayn Ruymen) is a runaway who ends up in Los Angeles. She asks her estranged Aunt Martha (Lucille Benson) if she can stay at her hotel, which is a seedy downtown joint filled with freaks and deviants. Cheryl can’t resist poking into the lives of the other residents, especially when one of them appears to develop a fixation on her. It’s got the same eccentric sense of humor as Bartel’s other films, but it plays a little rougher than those movies. It builds an effective mood, getting kinkier and creepier as it goes. Eventually, you realize you’re watching a really dirty riff on PSYCHO, but with an energy all its own. I’m glad I finally caught up with this one courtesy of Warner Home Entertainment, another of their great catalog titles.
Since we’d seen a lot of American exploitation in a row over the course of the evening, we decided to change things up a bit for the next title...
#14 - RETURN OF THE EVIL DEAD
The second in Armado De Ossorio’s quartet of movies about the Knights Templar is actually the first to show the full backstory of the Knights, and it’s a great way to open the film. This sequel ups the stakes in every way from the first film while still retaining all the stylistic flourishes that made it work. The Blind Dead are still creepy, accomplished onscreen with a combination of makeup, costumes, and puppeteering, but this time, they’re not content to just kill off isolated visitors to their desecrated burial grounds. Oh, no. This time, they attack an entire town right in the middle of a festival thrown in honor of the torture and murder of the Templars all those years ago. Crazy stuff, staged well, and there are so many ways you can enjoy this film that it’s hard to pick a favorite thing. There’s the Euroblonde ‘70s hottie, the crazy village idiot who looks just like a retarded Stephen King, the way the movie riffs off NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD, dynamite fights, that awesome walk to safety with the blindfolded kid, and much more. Blue Underground found one hell of a print, too. This is fast becoming one of my favorite horror series on DVD.
With that, the last guest left the Labs for the day, and I decided to try a few more titles on the smaller set-up in the back bedroom, with all the lights out for even greater effect. After all, if we get an extra hour tonight, shouldn’t I pack in a little extra horror? I’ll have those updates later.
Okay... so I fell down on the updating a bit. Doesn’t mean it hasn’t been an ongoing calvacade of movies over here. It’s just that I spent much of the afternoon working on RACE WITH THE DEVIL with my co-writer at the same time, so I didn’t have a chance to check in here on the site. I watched two more movies last night before I went to sleep. First up...
#15 - THE FUNHOUSE
Whenever I talk to another film geek about Tobe Hooper, I find it annoying when they bash him, especially when they try to use POLTERGEIST as ammunition. I think he’s made a number of good films besides the original TEXAS CHAINSAW, which is a goddamn classic any way you look at it. LIFEFORCE is groovy, a lovely tribute to the QUATERMASS films, TEXAS CHAINSAW 2 is one of those rare sequels that I like just as much as the first one, but for very different reasons, and INVADERS FROM MARS is a love-letter to the films that inspired him. And then there’s THE FUNHOUSE, a film he made for Universal, a studio picture hot on the heels of his success with the original ‘SAW. Elizabeth Berridge, who later played Mozart’s wife in AMADEUS, stars here as a girl who goes to a small-town carnival with three friends, only to end up locked inside the funhouse all night long with... something. THE FUNHOUSE isn’t a great screenplay. There’s a completely useless subplot with Berridge’s little brother that saps the tension in the film repeatedly. What does work here is the monster and the suspense inside the funhouse. Hooper does an expert job with what he’s got, and on a purely visceral level, it’s efficient and even occasionally inspired.
Next up, I finally got around to a film I’ve been meaning to see for a while...
#16 - TRAUMA
Anchor Bay just recently finally put out a region one disc of this title, which is odd, since it’s Argento’s one real flirtation with American filmmaking. As a result, you’ve got cast members like Piper Laurie, James Russo, Frederic Forrest and Brad Dourif, albeit in supporting roles. Asia Argento’s the star, and she was young when they made this one. She’s still relatively unskankified in the movie, playing a girl who sees her parents killed by a maniac who is stealing heads from his victims. She turns to a guy she just barely knows for help, and together, they try to unravel the mystery of the Headhunter. Like THE CANDY SNATCHERS, which I watched earlier in the marathon, there’s a subplot here involving a kid who may know more about what’s going on than any adult, but Argento handles it better overall. This one doesn’t all add up in the end, but I love the way Argento’s films feel like you’re tripping on too much cough syrup when you watch them. They seem like weird fever dreams, and Tom Savini’s gore effects make for a welcome addition to the picture. The disc itself is really nice, with some behind-the-scenes footage shot by Savini and a nice documentary on the film.
It was around dawn when I finally called it a night, even with that extra hour of movie watching time thrown in, and I crashed for a few hours before getting up mid-morning to start again. When I finally got up, I started the day with another classic...
#17 - THE CURSE OF THE CAT PEOPLE
Like all of the Val Lewton films, this is a hard one to describe. It’s not so much a “jump out and scare you” type of horror film as it is a dark examination of the loneliness of childhood and the power of imagination. Robert Wise was the co-director here, his first film, and it’s gorgeous and strange and has a mood unlike anything else. It’s a semi-sequel. There are characters who return, but it’s not about the continuation of the curse, and it doesn’t just rehash the things that made CAT PEOPLE so effective. Ann Carter gives one of the great kid performances as Amy, daughter of Oliver Reed (Tom Conway) from the first film. Although she’s not the daughter of Irena (Simone Simon), she does seem to be connected to the dead woman, especially once Irena starts to appear to her as an imaginary friend. This is just as great a film about childhood as NIGHT OF THE HUNTER, and it’s one of those movies you can watch over and over, peeling back layers of text and subtext each time.
Watching it put me in the right mood to take a quick detour and watch...
#18 - SHADOWS IN THE DARK: THE VAL LEWTON LEGACY
This is technically an extra feature on the last disc from the recent VAL LEWTON collection, but it’s an hour long, and director Constantine Nasr’s made a pretty great little documentary about one of the giants of this genre. It includes interviews with film journalists and genre fans like William Friedkin, Guillermo Del Toro, Richard Matheson, Joe Dante, Harlan Ellison, Ramsey Campbell, Mick Garris, Neil Gaiman, John Landis, Sarah Karloff, Val E. Lewton, and many more. It’s an excellent examination of how Lewton’s early work under legendary producer David Selznick prepared him for his own horror label at RKO. Don’t watch this until you’re familiar with the other movies in the box set, but make sure you do check it out. It’s better than most special features, and it will only enhance your appreciation of these remarkable films he helped create.
Next up, I wanted something radically different, so we popped in...
#19 - COLOSSUS: “THE FORBIN” PROJECT
On the cover of Universal’s super-cheapie release of this film, the tagline reads “We built a supercomputer with a mind of its own and now we must fight it for the world.” And evidently, we must fight it in wretched pan-and-scan. This is a miserably lazy transfer. The opening few moments are letterboxed for the full 2.35:1, and then it pops into full-screen square as soon as the titles end. I was so annoyed by the studio’s obvious indifference to the title that we turned it off and went to a reasonable replacement instead...
#19 (again) - DEMON SEED
... which I first watched last week while revving up for this marathon. Based on one of Dean Koontz's earliest books, this is a high-tech ROSEMARY'S BABY. Or at least, it was probably pretty high tech when it was made in 1977. Today, the computer that gains sentience and impregnates Julie Christie is more absurd than sinister, but director Donald Cammell does a nice job of creating tension. Remember… Cammell was an art-house director, and it’s obvious that he wanted DEMON SEED to be more than just a cheapie about a raping robot, and thanks to Julie Christie’s work, he comes close to accomplishing exactly what he’s aiming for. The ending's not great, but so much of the film builds a healthy head of paranoia as it goes that this one ends up being worth a watch. Besides, Warner Bros. did a really nice job with the transfer.
Next up, I decided to finally watch one of the recent high-profile horror remakes...
#20 - THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005)
Although this still isn’t a great movie, it is a huge improvement over the miserable, campy, cheeseball 1979 original. Scott Kosar was smart to incorporate more of the DeFeo family backstory, since that’s the one thing everyone agrees really did happen in that house. Ronnie DeFeo kills his family at the start of the film, and it’s the best sequence in the movie, grim and unrelenting. A year later, George (Ryan Reynolds) and Kathy (Melissa George) Lutz move into the house. What follows is a huge load of crap, as far as reality is concerned, but as handled by director Andrew Douglas, it’s pretty effective. Reynolds gradually turns into James Brolin, something which would terrify even the bravest man, while his family goes cuckoo around him. Douglas has a more grounded, classic visual approach than Marcus Nispel did with his crappy TEXAS CHAINSAW remake, and there are a number of effective scares in the film. Even if it doesn’t add up to much, it works while you’re watching it.
#21 - PSYCHO III
I had such a good time seeing PSYCHO II again at QT6 this year that I figured I’d give this one a chance again as well. I’ll say this for the movie... it’s not the piece of shit that I thought it was when it first came out. It struck me then as hopelessly sleazy, gratuitous. I like the way it tries to spin Norman (Anthony Perkins again) in yet another new direction as a character, picking up right where PSYCHO II left off, and it’s partially successful. It does seem to want to be both a character piece and a slasher film, and that schizophrenia eventually bogs the film down too much. It’s also just a little too self-aware for my tastes, practically winking at the camera in a way that Richard Franklin’s sequel never did. It also features the only time in any of the films that we actually see Norman in full drag, speaking with Mother’s voice, in character, and that’s real hard to pull off without looking silly. One twist too many towards the film’s end will probably wear you out. It certainly did for me. It’s a bare bones edition, but a nice new anamorphic transfer by Universal.
Finally, to prepare for our Bruce Campbell contest, I decided to go all the way back to the beginning with...
#22 - THE EVIL DEAD
I’ve got the Anchor Bay edition from 2002 that comes in a regular keep-case, with the THX logo and the original poster design on the cover. It comes with the LADIES OF THE EVIL DEAD booklet, which is pretty great, and it’s a damn fine print of the movie. As much as I love EVIL DEAD 2, this is still the one pure horror film of Sam Raimi’s career, an assault on the senses that retains every bit of its ability to shock and unnerve. There’s nothing silly about Bruce Campbell’s work as Ash in this film, and everyone takes one hell of a beating during this taut, terrific 85 minutes. There’s a reason this film is one of the classics of the ‘80s, and if you haven’t seen it in a while, or if you only know the sequels, try it. It doesn’t get much better than this.
Of course, Bruce Campbell became an icon when he took this role and appeared in the two sequels, and he’s still staying plenty busy today. He recently published his new novel MAKE LOVE... THE BRUCE CAMPBELL WAY!, which isn’t the self-help book the title implies. It’s actually Campbell’s THE PLAYER, a send-up of show business as seen through the eyes of a B-movie icon. He recorded an audio version of the book that’s almost like a radio play, and if you want, CHECK OUT THIS SAMPLE, or just pick up the 6-disc Rykodisc release, available in bookstores now.
If you’re just now reading this, we’ve already had the contest giveaway, and it went swimmingly. About 500 of you entered during the two hours the contest was open, and I’ll randomly pick ten people and make sure you’re sent your autographed CDs very soon. It’s all treats for you this Halloween.
Meanwhile, I gave away another of the Bruce Campbell audiobooks here at the Labs to some guests, and then we jumped right back into the marathon, just in time for another BLIND DEAD film...
#23 – THE GHOST GALLEON
Well, I can’t say you didn’t warn me. Talkbacker “ZovietSquid” tried to tell me not to watch THE GHOST GALLEON with a crowd. As it was, everyone was interested enough that we didn’t derail things completely. This has been an Italian-centric marathon in many ways, but that’s just the mood I’m in this year. It helps that so many of these titles are just now becoming available for the first time. This is the third film from Blue Underground’s BLIND DEAD COLLECTION, and it’s the strangest of the bunch, pretty much a complete violation of all the rules the series had already established. Amando De Ossorio has to be given credit for his willingness to experiment with his creation, and there are some great ideas here. The central image, the vision of the Knights Templar onboard this ghostly ship, surrounded by a spectral, nearly sentient fog... that’s potent, and it plays like a direct precursor to Carpenter’s original THE FOG. The film that surrounds that great central image, unfortunately, does not live up to it. It’s the most uninvolving first act of any of the films in this box set, and it seems to take forever to finally bring the Blind Dead back to life and release them from the crates where they’re stored. Robbed of their horses, they’re also robbed of some of their impact. Also, some of the effects work here is pretty dodgy, basic bathtubs-and-toy-boats stuff, but the ending pays off with about ten great minutes of movie, and even a lesser BLIND DEAD film still turns out to be worth the time.
We followed that up with another Italian film, this one from a distributor that’s just been knocking my socks off the last few weeks...
#24 – THE BIG ALLIGATOR RIVER
Barbara Bach, Bond girl. Mel Ferrer, big-ass Hollywood has-been. Sergio Martino, Italian genre-hopping veteran. Put ‘em together, and it’s another great release by No Shame Films. Martino’s one of those guys who did several things well. He made really solid giallo films, then made a run of kick-ass Italian crime films, then dabbled with various other exploitation fare. THE BIG ALLIGATOR RIVER (which is actually about a giant crocodile) is his take on the “killer nature” movies that were so big internationally in the ‘70s. Ferrer plays the scummy owner of a resort hotel in some Third World nation. A fashion photographer (Claudio Cassinelli) shows up at the resort just in time for animal attacks, a native uprising, and mass chaos, all of which manages to get him hooked up with Barbara Bach, who plays an unlikely expert in something or other. There’s some KING KONG mixed in here when Bach gets kidnapped for sacrifice by the cult that worships the giant crocodile god. As with GHOST GALLEON, some of the effects in this one are impossible to take seriously, but the carnage that dominates the last twenty minutes is so much gratuitous fun that you won’t mind. This may be a shameless JAWS ripoff in places, but it’s an energetic one. No Shame included a 35 minute interview here with Sergio Martino, as well as trailers in both English and Italian. So much fun.
I enjoyed a break here as some guests left, then put both Toshi and my wife to bed. Back in the front room, I decided to go old-school for the next one...
#25 – THE INNOCENTS
Deborah Kerr’s tortured performance as the governess to two strange, haunted young children is the glue that holds together this brash, stylish adaptation of Henry James’ TURN OF THE SCREW. The script, co-written by Truman Capote, is one of the greats. It tells the story of a woman (played by Kerr) who is hired by a wealthy man to live with two orphaned children, his niece and nephew, at his estate in the country. What she finds when she arrives at the giant house is a twisted secret that draws her into a web of madness, scandal, and fear. Jack Clayton made one of the great ghost stories in gorgeous widescreen black-and-white, shot by Freddie Francis (who later directed both TORTURE GARDEN and THE DOCTOR & THE DEVILS). Genuinely scary, suffocatingly claustrophobic at times, and subtle even in its big moments, THE INNOCENTS is some of the very best big studio horror ever made.
#26 – AMERICAN GOTHIC: “Pilot”
I can honestly say I didn’t remember a single scene from this one, even after I started watching it tonight. Sometimes, stuff comes back to me when I see it after a long time has passed, but that’s not the case with this. Gary Cole was a great villain from the very first time he showed up in this series, and Lucas Black, who was so good a few years later in SLING BLADE, rises to the challenge of being the star of this film. There are a number of good spooky moments in this episode, and Cole’s “powers” are presented well. I can understand why this didn’t do well on network TV, and I’m curious to dig deeper into the show to see what they were able to do before the network pulled the plug.
And on that note, I’m wrapping up the second full day of this particular marathon. Off for a wee bit of sleep before we hit the home stretch.
Halloween day. Y’know, this is one of the few holidays that absolutely no one seems to get off from work. It’s not a banking holiday. The mail still comes. Everyone has to show up at their jobs. I think it’s just so you can all share in the common humiliation of having to wear your costumes to work. Nothing better than a fat guy dressed as Legolas trying to change the toner in the copier.
Today was all about trying to make sure that I saw at least 31 films during the marathon, one for each day of the month. Surprisingly, I didn’t end up finishing the BLIND DEAD box set, but not because I didn’t want to. It just didn’t fit into the line-up, and I wanted to shake things up a bit... have a bit of variety as we headed into the big finish. Some old favorites showed up today, as well as a few titles I’ve never seen. It was definitely a nice wrap-up to what turned out to be a totally fucking brain-damaged experiment in mass movie watching. Four days? Tooooooo much. But still... I said I would do it, and here’s the home stretch for you.
I decided to kick the morning off with an episode of another show, this one a little more vintage...
#27 - KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER: “The Zombie”
What amazes me about this show is that it’s still scary, a full 30 years after it aired for the first time. There was something about the way it was shot, the raw, on-the-fly quality of it, that has given the show a longevity, and I always remembered this episode as one of the scariest from when I saw the program as a kid. Sure enough, there’s still some real power to the portrayal of the zombie in this episode, and the methodical way it hunts its prey. Once Kolchak figures out what’s going on and puts himself in harm’s way, he has no choice but to try to find the zombie in its resting place in a scene that is truly nightmarish. Great stuff, and it really put me in the right mood for the rest of the day.
#28 - THE LEOPARD MAN
I decided to follow up with one more of the Val Lewton films, this one marking the last of his horror films with director Jacques Tourneur. Based on a Cornell Wollrich novel, this is more of a whodunit than it is a true horror film, but it’s got some great set pieces. There’s a late night walk to the store by a terrified young girl that ends with an image so great that it elevates the whole film. This is a great mood piece, as a small New Mexico town deals with the fear of an escaped leopard that may be killing people. Like all the movies in the Lewton box, it’s short and sweet, and even if the ending’s a bit of a letdown, it’s well worth seeing.
I wanted something totally different next, so I threw on one of the MGM Midnite Movies discs that I haven’t seen...
#29 - THE DUNWICH HORROR
Wow. Talk about loony. This loose adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft’s story was scripted (in part) by a very young Curtis Hanson, and it’s very much grounded in the moment it was made. This is hippie Lovecraft, with Dean Stockwell playing a young man who shows up at a university that houses the Necronomicon in its rare books collection. He wants a chance to study it, and he also wants Sandra Dee (yes, THAT Sandra Dee) to become his human sacrifice/sex slave so that he can summon the Old Ones to our plane of existence. Adapting Lovecraft is a tricky thing, and the big surprise here is how right they get some of it. This isn’t a great film, but Stockwell stinks of crazy, which is perfect, and it builds to a suitably apocalyptic ending. Set aside the obviously low budget, and this isn’t half-bad. Director Daniel Haller also worked on a bunch of other Corman films as an art director before becoming a huge TV director for much of the ‘70s and ‘80s, and actually made another Lovecraft adaptation, DIE MONSTER DIE. I’d call this one a pleasant surprise.
I wanted something that I already knew I loved next, horror movie comfort food, so I pulled one off the shelf from a director I’ve got a fairly obvious affinity for...
#30 – PRINCE OF DARKNESS
”I’ve got a message for you. And you’re not going to like it.”
I love this movie, and I don’t understand any so-called horror fan who doesn’t. This is one of Carpenter’s best films, and also one of his most underrated. It’s a heady mix of Lovecraftian horror, quantum physics, theological debate, time-travel, and more. I think some people have trouble with it precisely because it refuses to be categorized easily, but that’s what makes it so original. Carpenter’s pseudonym on the screenwriting credit (“Martin Quatermass”) is a joke for horror fans that also gives you a good idea exactly what you’re getting into when you watch this one. Some of Carpenter’s favorite actors show up here, like Victor Wong, Donald Pleasance, and Dennis Dun, but everyone involved knows just how to play this. It’s a very particular tone, and the score and the atmospheric photography by Gary B. Kibbe (my favorite of his collaborations with Carpenter) all work to make this one of the most unusual and memorable horror films of the ‘80s.
A friend of mine, the illustrious long-lost John Robie, dropped by for some of the early evening films, and I let him choose the next movie. So that makes it his fault that we watched...
#31 – NAIL GUN MASSACRE
Easily one of the worst films I’ve ever seen of any genre, and of any budget. No exaggeration, this is MANOS: HANDS OF FATE terrible. Just by virtue of the fact that it’s so awful, it does become hysterically funny in places, but it’s a long 85 minutes, and somehow, they don’t even manage to get the nail gun scenes right. Terry Lofton’s total ineptitude behind a camera does provide any number of comic highlights, including some of the ugliest sex any camera’s ever had the misfortune of photographing, a disguised killer who makes wisecracks so bad he makes Carrot Top seem funny, and an investigation so stupid that even OJ would have complained. It’s amazing to think that there’s supposed to be any mystery involved in this film, but Lofton seems to believe he’s actually crafted a good mystery with a satisfying reveal. The interview with Lofton on the disc is either a fascinating glimpse of delusion, or a total put-on, and I’m not sure which. The liner notes for this Synapse Films release are hilarious in their own right, thanks to Michael Felsher’s “20 Things I Learned From Watching NAIL GUN MASSACRE,” but at best, this is a rental. It’s not something you’ll ever watch a second time.
I needed a real film after this, something with substance, and out of the short list of possible titles, we finally settled on...
#32 – A TALE OF TWO SISTERS
Believe it or not, I’ve missed this one up till now. It’s one of the highest profile titles in Asian horror in the last few years, and one of the best reviewed, but I just never quite got around to it. I can see why it has the reputation it does. Kim Ji-woon’s film is a dazzling psychological game that may frustrate you as you watch it, but there are some real rewards to be found if you’re patient and if you’re willing to watch it a second time and discuss it with friends afterwards. It’s a rigorously structured film that plays with time and perception in a sophisticated way, and the performances by everyone involved are top-notch. Basically, two sisters come home from a stay in the hospital to live with their father and their step-mother. From the moment they return, they seem to be engaged in a battle of the wills with the step-mother, and mysterious events begin to take place in the house. What looks like another ghost story about creepy dead Asian girls turns out to be something totally different, a film about coping with grief and the madness that can come from avoiding responsibility for the terrible things that sometimes happen in life. I’m not sure I completely understood this film tonight, but I thought it was great, and I certainly look forward to trying to decipher more of it upon repeat viewings.
I decided to round out my horror marathon with two final titles that would keep the evening international. First up, another old favorite that I haven’t seen in a number of years...
#33 – DEEP RED
Argento is a visual master, and if you see this film uncut, at its full running time of 126 minutes, you’ll see him at the absolute top of his game. As much as I love SUSPIRIA, I acknowledge that it’s a dream, an illogical nightmare that doesn’t even try to make conventional sense. DEEP RED is the bridge between Argento’s procedural giallos and his more fantastic later films, and it manages to balance it all perfectly. A jazz pianist (David Hemmings) witnesses a brutal murder, and he becomes obsessed with the crime, leading him into a web of clues that get stranger and stranger. On the Anchor Bay disc I have, the footage that was restored from the original Italian cut only exists in Italian, so if you’re watching the English language version, the film occasionally drops into Italian with English subtitles, which makes an already surreal experience even moreso. The murders in the film are shocking and upsetting, the narrative is lean and intelligent, and David Hemmings is the most human of all of Argento’s heroes. A great film, and a real reminder of why I love horror movies in general. I couldn’t resist sneaking in a nod to this one in CIGARETTE BURNS, and I was pleased it made it to the final cut.
Finally, I wrapped up this marathon with a personal favorite, a film I first discovered at the incredible FanTasia festival in Montreal a few years ago, and one that I feel still hasn’t had the exposure it deserves...
#34 – IN MY SKIN
My feelings about this movie haven’t lessened at all since I first reviewed it back in 2003. If anything, revisiting it only reminded me of just why I went apeshit about it in the first place. Marina de Van’s film is beautiful, deeply felt, and genuinely horrific, the kind of film that pushes the genre to be better than people give it credit for. If they’re looking for women to help shake up the ranks of Season Two of MASTERS OF HORROR, de Van would be a hell of a choice. All she’s done since releasing this film have been short films, which is a tragedy. Then again, how easy is it to dredge up such a personal picture and to not only write and direct it, but to also give such a searing lead performance at the same time? As Esther, a woman who begins to mutilate and, on occasion, even eat pieces of herself, de Van perfectly captures that part of our nature that drives us to hurt ourselves each and every day. Sometimes we do it with food. Sometimes we do it with drugs. Sometimes we even fool ourselves into thinking that it’s all about pleasure. But the truth is, we all do damage to ourselves sometimes, and we’re rarely as in control of ourselves as we like to pretend. Esther drops off the deep end over the course of this film, but in doing so, she finds a sort of rapture, and she is transformed. It’s one of the great undiscovered films of the last ten years, and it made a great round-off to this marathon. I’m a little dazed, frankly, by seeing thirty-four horror films since Friday night, but I’m also invigorated.
I hope you guys had a Happy Halloween yourselves, and if you enjoyed this, then maybe we’ll try it again next year. I’ve got to go get the rest of this morning’s articles ready, so for now...
See you back here then. For now...
"Moriarty" out.
