Hey folks, Harry here with a very unhappy look at a film called THE ZODIAC that isn't the Fincher film, ZODIAC - so let's be clear on that, this is not Fincher's film. And the overall lesson of this review is to, not see the film. Let's hop into it. Here ya go...
I was privilaged (or unlucky) enough to be a part of the very first audience to view "The Zodiac" in a test screening Monday night. I thought you might be interested in my report. There are some spoilers ahead.
If you use this you may call me "Cloud Buster". Thanks!
Let me preface what I'm about to write with saying that I'm not new to test screenings, work prints, and like many people here at Coming Soon I feel I have the ability to watch most movies with some objectivity. That is to say that I can speak reasonably and fairly about a film -- even if I think it's a poor film, but I like it anyway. I am a student of theatre and film, and have an eclectic taste in both.
Before last night, I had never heard of the film "The Zodiac", never heard the true story of Zodiac killer, and had no idea what I was getting into when my girlfriend and I were invited to a test screening of this film. I looked the film up on IMDB and couldn't exactly tell if this was "The Zodiac" or "Zodiac" -- two films with very different casts and production teams that tell the same story. (I find that to be particularly strange, and am at a loss to explain it. Two original films about the same thing with virtually the same title sans "the" being released that close together??). Unfortunately, the film I saw tonight was not David Fincher's "Zodiac" (which is likely still filming), but "The Zodiac" directed by Alexander Bulkley.
During the film, I kept trying to tell myself to try to give constructive criticism on the marketing forms and in the focus group. I take these things pretty seriously, and I want to try to help the filmmakers as much as I can. However, as the film dragged on I realized I had to be honest....there is no saving "The Zodiac".
I mean what I am about to say in all seriousness: Barring one or two films that I've seen on MST3K, "The Zodiac" is the single worst film I have ever seen. It was a snowball of clichés that kept rolling down the hill getting bigger and more ridiculous, filled with non-sequitor moments about characters that the film hadn't even bothered to name, much less make me care about.
The film opened with a boy and a girl in a parked car in the woods. If that isn't cliche enough, the boy is trying to get under the girl's skirt when the killer approaches. The girl thinks she sees something....but the boy ignores her. You can see where this is going. This scene is copied not one, not two, but THREE times in the film. Each time it's almost a carbon copy of the stereotypical "boy and girl in car when monster gets them" scene. One of them was slightly more interesting, but failed to produce any tension, suspense, or even an ounce of emotion from the audience other than an increasing desire to go home.
Any moment that may have been compelling - such as the main character, a detective (whose name was hardly given to I'm unable to recall it) investigating the crime scene - is promptly skipped over and not always explained, leaving the audience to wonder if the film's hero is even trying to investigate the crimes at hand. Every time the killer, calling himself "Zodiac", begins to do something intersting -- such as sending a coded message to local newspapers -- it's brushed under the carpet, with attention going to mindless scenes about the main character and his family, most of which seem to have little or nothing to do with each other.
The main character is a stale collection of disambiguated "stressed-out-detective" elements. He's dedicated, hard working, loves his family, and feels personally about his work....some of the time. Other times he's sick of the case and refuses to listen when new evidence is discovered. For one scene, and one scene only, he's a raving drunk complete with cursing at his wife, throwing books, and breaking glass all while his son watches.
In fact, the only character that seems really interested in finding the killer is Rory Culkin's character -- another tired cliché that seems ripped straight from Culkin's charater in "Signs". He ever wears the same clothes as he analyzes the killer's code and links the days the killer attacks with astrological events. (I suppose the name "Zodiac" didn't clue anyone else in?) Of course, no one listens to him despite his attempts to warn the adults....once, before forgetting he cared. His collection of news clippings is later discovered by his mother, which gives way to a "mother and son" talk that treats the news clippings she found under his bed as though they were bags of marajuana, as she cries and asks her son "why". I realize this is supposedly based on a true story, but this is clearly fiction.
Of course, even a film with this much dramatazation is bound by certain rules of fact. Specifically, the fact that the killer was never actually caught. After 3 attacks killing a total of 4 people, just when I thought this abomination of a movie was reaching its mid-point, something odd happened. Out of absolutely NOWHERE, an image of the killer's police sketch appeared and text over it explained that the Zodiac killed a total of 37 people. We saw 4. It goes on to say that at some point in the 70s, the Zodiac sent his final letter to the press. A voice over then reads his last words in the letter: "I hope someday someone makes a good movie about me".
Keep waiting, Zodiac, keep waiting.
It's hard to describe all the things that were wrong with this film. I'm honestly wondering if it ever will really be released. I've seen direct to DVD films and "Sci-Fi Channel Original Movies" that were thousands of times better than this.
Now, I'm sure if both films are released one will change titles, but as for Alexander Bulkley's "The Zodiac", I can't stress the following enough:
Do not see this movie. Do not see this movie. Do not see this movie. Ever. Not ever. Don't pay for it. Don't see it for free.
Normally I wouldn't make such a statement, but if you don't believe me or think I'm just trying to be a troll then suit yourself....when and IF "The Zodiac" is ever released go ahead and see it. Just keep in mind, no one can ever give you your life back...and you *will* want it.
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Cloud Buster
