Ok You Talkback Chimps - KEVIN SMITH has some Words for you!
Published at: Oct. 2, 2005, 1:25 a.m. CST by staff
Hey folks, Harry here... I temporarily shut down Talk Back registration while this whole Brown Coat nonsense blows over - remember - Off Topic BS will get you banned. Then earlier today I get a letter from Kevin Smith wanting to register for TalkBack so he can "I'd better defend myself a bit." Kevin is registered, doesn't mean he'll post - but if he does - it'll be a dark post like Moriarty, Quint and Myself. I figured that way he wouldn't get a lot of that, "You're not really Kevin Smith man, prove it!" or the jerkoffs running around doing the Spartacus "I'm Kevin Smith" "No, I'm Kevin Smith," "No, I'M KEVIN SMITH!" So you see a dark post - with the KevinSmith handle - that's the man. While we were getting that set up for the man - he took your posts into Word and crafted his particular bathroom stall retorts to each of you "chimps". Some of you he owes fellatio... others, he uses his teeth brutally.
As for me, what do I think of the PASSION OF THE CLERKS teaser and the first Kevin Smith production diary? Well - given the Clerks2.com site is littered with phrases like "TRAIN WRECK" and "Disaster in the Making!" I think the "teaser" was intentionally cheesy - I mean it really does look like a train wreck and a disaster in the making. And Kevin's production diary - just spills over with soothsaying of doom. It makes me giggle like crazy, because I love Kevin's "Dick and Fart" jokes... In actuality - I've got a confession to make... About 4 days ago, I saw MALLRATS for the first time and out of the blue wrote Kevin this gay as hell dick suck letter about how much I loved it. Apologized for being a fucking Johnny Come Lately - but man... When Stan Lee and Jason are on the second floor of the mall and Jason's asking about Thing's rocky cock... That was genius! And in the making of - when some exec at Universal thought that scene was like Richard Dreyfus talking to Wolfman Jack - I was like, "RIGHT ON!" and I really can't believe I let all the crap criticism of MALLRATS keep me away from it till this latest DVD edition. Yeah, and that 3 nipple scene was hot!
Having said all that... I really wish Kevin would have made GREEN HORNET. I know he has a confidence issue with non-dialogue scenes - and a seeming fear of "Action scenes," but man - I know he's got it in him. But if I have to settle for some bizarre return to the well of CLERKS... so be it, you know you'll laugh and so do I. Now be respectful... The man is working, and that's fun for all of us!