Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with our spy named David Aames and boy oh boy did he not like THE MAN. I was hoping this wasn't going to turn into that film that has one great gag that gets played and played over and over while the rest of the movie is a pile of donkey poo. I'm still going to hold out hope until I see it 'cause I'm an optimist and Sam Jackson is worth watching in even the worst crapola out there. Kinda like Walken, I guess. I sat through COUNTRY BEARS for Walken, I can brave THE MAN for Sam Jackson! Here's the review!
Not sure if my original e-mail was deleted in that Thu/Fri problem, so here I go again...
David Aames checking in.
Just screened THE MAN here in Los Angeles and I am still washing off the pungent stench of excrement. This could truly be one of the worst movies of the year. When a movie relies on fart jokes, you know it's going to be a long night. Remember that "Bitch" clip that AICN linked to a while ago? Well that's the funniest scene in this piece of shit, so if you saw that, don't bother with the movie. Wait 'til it plays on TBS in two years.
Story has EUGENE LEVY (doing his 'Jim's dad' routine for the miliionth time) playing a dental equipment salesman who is mistaken for an arms dealer. SAMUEL L. JACKSON (acting like he's in SHAFT 2) is the ATF agent who was supposed to make the buy. So these two hook up to stop the bad guy, and along the way they fight, Sam curses, Eugene farts, they bond,and Eugene farts some more. Wow. I can just picture that script meeting. 'Hey let's have Eugene fart, and then Sam smells it and goes apeshit!' Gold!!!!
I can't tell you how bad this movie. The audience sat in silence for most of the movie (until the "Bitch" scene). If the movie could have held that kind of energy than it could have been on par with "Midnight Run." But to mention that movie in the same breath as THE MAN is like kicking Bobby D right in the balls. Sam looks like he'd rather be doing "Deep Blue Sea 2." Eugene has got to stop doing the tight-ass schlub routine. This guy is one of the funniest comedic actor and now he's just phoning it in. Call Chris Guest stat!!
There's a reason why they're dumping this flick on the second weekend of September. It makes "The Cave" look like "Citizen f'n Kane."
David Aames out.
