Hey folks, Harry here... We've all heard that bajillionaire Paul Allen is pouring money into a privatized Space Program. The following story will cause him to triple his money and urgency that he's given the project... for the end is near. A positive review of Paris Hilton's HOUSE OF WAX remake is on AICN. There are few films that I'm willing to outright hate with malice like this one. However, Roxy Hart has been a loyal and good reviewer here at AICN for quite some time now. And that I do consider the idea of seeing Paris Hilton die - with an audience to cheer - does fill me with a certain sense of sadistic voyeuristic glee... the fact that it isn't the first scene disturbs me. I mean - if she was just instantly destroyed in a Fulchi way - that could be a helluva great way to start a movie. I see this very soon. Pray for me.
Sorry boys! I haven't written in a long time.
This girl was invited to the premiere of HOUSE OF WAX!
I wanted to bathe in the soapy mess that was the beginning of Paris Hilton's acting career!
If you're looking for a scenery-chewing killer ala Vincent Price---look elsewhere!
Here's the story in a nutshell:
Teens get lost going to (insert plot driver). (They get lost/car breaks down/stop to have sex) - pick one. "Kind" stranger leads them to safety. Their haven turns out to be a deathtrap from hell.
Backstory involves twin boys. One severely mutilated because of a surgical procedure (no spoilers here) and the other suffers from anger management issues. Both are severly demented. Father is a disgraced surgeon and mother is a wax artist. Mix this together and there is logical explanation as to why the boys are making this town of wax and making wax figures of real victims.
What did I think of this movie? I can't believe I'm saying this but not only did I like the movie but (God, please don't strike me down) I LOVE this movie!
Here are my reasons:
1-This is a very hard R-rated movie. No cutaways during the death scenes. It's all in gory display.
2-The killers are very disturbing and the backstory was sound enough to make sense (within the boundaries of the movie, of course).
3-The opening scene sets the plate for the rest of the movie. Nice ode to "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" that is reiterated later during a chasing/stalking scene.
4-All the actors play archetypal roles but don't bungle them. INCLUDING MS. PARIS HILTON.
(Damn! I really wanted her to fail)
5-You knew who was going to live and who was going to die but the audience, including myself rooted for these killers to get "waxed". (Sorry I had to say it)
6-Wax People are just disturbing and nice job of Joel Silver to rediscover this. Too bad the wax museum in "Cursed" wasn't this fun.
Bad things (minor stuff):
1-I can't remember a single character's name except "Vincent" (a nod to Mr. Price, I assume) and "Bo" (the killers). The rest were just indistinguishable.
2-There are no winning performances. This was definitely a director's reel to be proud of but the actors didn't stand out from the material.
3-NO 3-D! The original was in 3-D and had a memorable paddle ball scene to prove it. It added to the fun. Half a point off the fun-meter for no 3-D.
I give this movie a positive review despite the clunkers that Dark Castle has produced (13 Ghosts, Ghost Ship and Gothika---terrible, terrible movies). Also check out the original. Both are incomparable to each other but both are great.
I wanted to avoid giving a spoiler away but here's a small tidbit:
At the premiere, after Paris Hilton's character is killed, a young girl shouted, "That's hot!" Audience had a good laugh and I looked over at Paris and she laughed and took in good sport but had a shit-eating grin on her face, at the end. I guess I'm not the only one who wanted Paris to fall flat on her face.
Forever yours,
Roxy Hart
