"Opinions are like ass-holes everybody has one", and Bud here thinks Hallenbeck's smells pretty ripe, at least in regards to Joe's review of Kurt Russell's SOLDIER. I personally hope Bud's right. Father Geek would like nothing better than for ol' Snake's latest to kick royal ass.
SOLDIER IS A GREAT MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joe Hallenbeck were you born with your head up your ass or did you put it there? Soldier is a great movie or so i and the other couple hundred people who saw it in Pasadena tonight thought. when I read what you had to say about it thought way cool man this dude is right on and Soldier must be one huge piece of shit so when they asked me if I wanted to see Soldier tonight I said yeah i MUST SEE how BAD this flick must be. Uh uh wrong wrong wrong the Kurt man does it again this movie is the best movie I have seen this year or at least the best movie since the last one you didn't like and sorry Joe we are getting tired of your sorryassed opinions please look at Private Ryan and Armagedon again and go back to UCS film school and ask for a refund. Yes some of the fx were cheesy but so probably are your underpants and like the man said ITS NOT DONE YET! so wait until there done and maybe your balls will drop by then.
And while were giving notes to producers what does it mean when everyone claps at the end? That they think you are a dickhead? No Joe they are not thinking about you at all it means they liked the movie.
Bud Rose
The Mighty Joe may be a little battered, but he's not broken, here he is coming right back at Bud.
Okay, you lil' bitch. You wanna call out the Big, Bad Mighty Joe and try to take him down with them fancy words of praise about a film that can be best described as barely watchable? Fine. Let's step outside the saloon so I can teach you lesson.
1. Soldier sucked shit...NOT because of the cheesey f/x(some of which were still rough as mentioned in MY review), but because the script, directing, and acting sucked dead donkey balls. It's an absolutely wretched, cliched shit story that a fuckin Mongoloid child must have written. It's Shane set on Garbage World. The trailer is even laughably bad.
2. The test screening results for this movie are very bad. WB is worried that yet again they have spent a shit load of mula on yet another crapola bomb. Trust me on this, kiddo...the audience(a large majority) hated this flick. I overheard at least 3 dozen people say how pissed off they were that they wasted their time watching such a "FUCKIN' PIECE OF SHIT!" And these quotes came from the main DEMOGRAPHIC...I know that's a big word for ya, but hopefully you'll be able to find out what it means in that large book full of words and definitions.
BTW, when I say "TRUST ME ON THIS"...I mean it. I know what I'm talking about.
Bang! I clipped ya. I don't feel like taking the soul of yet another pre-pubesant little shitbird like yourself. Hopefully you learned a valuable lesson. I know you were trying to be the bad ass in front of all your friends. I know you think it's cool to try and dis' Joe, but keep this in mind, "Many have gone up against me. Their tombstones only read this: F.W.J. -- Translation: Fucked With Joe. I'm letting you off easy, Kid. Don't try to beat the old gun slinger. Next time you open that lil' bitch mouth of yours I may have to close it for good.
Class dismissed.
Joe Hallenbeck
Oh, by the way, Rose Bud -- It's natural for hair to grow down there.
