Harry takes you with him to the 2005 TEXAS FILM HALL OF FAME with Lauren Bacall, Robert Rodriguez, Irma P Hall and more

Tonight was a great night here in Austin. The kick off for SXSW 2005. As usual, I had to miss all the opening night films to attend the Texas Film Hall Of Fame!

For the first time, I took my Grandmother to it. She dressed to the nines and had never attended anything like it. She would Eww and Ahhh at everyone from Billy Bob Thornton to Ann Richards to Dennis Quaid… and then scratching her head as I got all excited about Joel & Ethan Coen, Joe Pantoliano and Irma P Hall, but we both agreed in absolute adulation for LAUREN BACALL!

What is The Texas Film Hall Of Fame?

Well, whatever it is, this is the 5th year of it, and I’ve only ever missed one year. I think Ann Richards said it best when she said this was our way of honoring films about Texas or Made in Texas. Folks from Texas or that maybe lived here in Texas for a bit, or maybe just drove through Texas, or had a transfer at DFW once or twice… Or even folks that slept with Dennis Hopper and could remember it. Yup, That about covers it.

I was struck with something rather sobering last night, and that was that this little whupped together shindig had more vitality and honest to goodness pure love of cinema than the entire Oscar Broadcast this year. I didn’t feel that way about this show before. I’ve always loved the Academy Awards. But even though this T.F.H.O.F.Awards had no suspense or shock involved, what we did find was that with the limitless speeches and talks… the folks being honored and honoring had the time to be the people they are… And that folks… that’s something truly special.

First off, let’s discuss the look of the place. This takes place in Studio 5 aka abandoned airplane hanger #5 of the vaunted Austin Studios. The realized dream of our very own hunka Hollywood. Giant DOTS & POPCORN & HOTDOG & OTHER SNACKS hung from the rafters. The theme of this year was the DRIVE-IN! Outside the Hanger was Daniel of the Alamo Drafthouse with the enormous Rolling Roadshow Screen – showing films like PSYCHOS FROM TEXAS & Steve McQueen’s THE BLOB to an invisible crowd of watchers tuned into 88.1FM to hear the otherwise unheard soundtrack to the night’s unwatched flicks! There was a part of me that always, secretly wanted to hop the shindig and nestle up in one of the vintage cars out front watching the flicks. Afterall – how often do you get a chance to be “alone at the drive-in”?

The evening started off with a terribly annoying auctioneer whose voice was like a hick bloated Fran Drescher wrenching on my nerves with his loose handle of auction speak. The drive-in was calling me. Then the editor of Texas Montly, Evan Smith took the stage with the terrible task of having to acknowledge all the folks in the audience, individually. It isn’t that he wasn’t up to the task. It’s just that the task, in and of itself is one of tedium. One that is punctuated by the prerequisite polite applause. Finally the process came to an end as he introduced Thomas Haden Church – I have to admit… The second I saw him, I went into SIDEWAYS flashbacks, as I’d been previewing the upcoming DVD the night before and all I could think of was his naked body running throughout town with a broken nose begging Paul Giamatti to recapture his white trash guarded wedding rings!

But, all thoughts of that went away as Ann Richards and her incandescent couture hit the stage. Ann is one of the quickest and sharpest wits about. Her joke about knowing Governor Rick Perry so long, she could remember when he was a democrat was awesome. And her rather intense barb at Governor Perry regarding not doing enough to support the film industry of Texas by not passing incentive issues like Tax breaks to keep productions from fleeing Texas for New Mexico and Louisiana was met with rousing applause, led by me. Before she even got to it I knew where she was going and AMEN!

She then excused herself from talking politics after beating the drum of support for KINKY FRIEDMAN’s bid for Governor with… “WHY NOT… Kinky? WHY! NOT! KINKY!?!?!?!?” And Kinky was indeed in the house!

After that she introduced JOEY PANTS aka Joe Pantoliano! What the Hell? He was a last minute replacement for Ellen Burstyn, you see – Ellen was going to come to honor Marcia Gay Harden and help in the inducting of Marcia into the Hall of Fame! When Joe hit the stage, I have to say, I didn’t recognize him. The humongous black cowboy hat was just… weird on his head. I mean, Guido the Killer Pimp does not wear a cowboy hat! Francis Fratelli does not wear a cowboy hat! Cypher definitely doesn’t wear a cowboy hat! And Joe didn’t for long. Soon he’d handed his hat to the beautiful model headed stage left, and donned that leather backwards golf beret thingee of his… that is TOTALLY Ben Urich! His dedication and rather sweet introduction of Marcia Gay Harden was very heartfelt and you could tell how much he cared for her. Guido the Killer Pimp cares!

Now, before Marcia hit the stage a selection of clips from her films played on the two giant screens on either side of the stage. First off… Had they just played every moment of MILLER’S CROSSING, I’d have been a happy camper. Her Verna was yummiliciously out for herself in all the best dame ways! As it was, the scene where she and Tom Reagan kiss, slap, crash – “You think you’ve raised hell.” – “Sister, when I’ve raised hell, you’ll know it!” They also screened the scene where she’s backseat painting as POLLOCK creates, punctuated by “Why don’t you paint the goddamn thing!” – she won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for that part, and it was a helluva role. I have to admit though.. I’m not a very big Marcia Gay Harden fan, it isn’t her – it’s just the movies she ends up in too often feel pretentiously self-absorbed. She tends to shine in them, but they’re shoes I don’t wear, so to speak.

Next – Ann Richards came out and heaped ganormous amounts of praise on the next presenters. THE COEN BROTHERS. Now – I happen to know Ann Richards really means this praise, as in my life, I’ve seen no less than about 7 Coen flicks behind her… and when the movie starts up and that hair lights up, you can't miss her. And she loves their films. Apparently her favorite is OH BROTHER WHERE ART THOU?

When Ethan & Joel took the stage, I was in rapt attention, hanging on their every word. These guys can do no wrong in my book thus far. It seems some folks have tuned out of their last two films, but frankly I laughed my ass off to both. And it was for THE LADYKILLERS that they were in attendance. You see, they were inducting Irma P Hall into the Hall of Fame. Ethan took the mike first, and in talking about Irma he set the pace for their induction. It seems that while Irma often thought them a touch crazy, she would do anything they asked. But for only 10 minutes. It was one of Irma’s golden rules. Literally, I can not recall this back and forth, as I was laughing too hard. Their dry – deadpan delivery was in the great tradition of Ned Sparks! Shooting stinkeyes at the audience, and never ever cracking a crescent… It was a straight brooding brow as they delivered their tribute and it killed. Those in the audience with a Coen sense of humor were crying laughing. At my table about 4 of the 12 were in tears… and I hated myself for it, I wanted to capture it for y’all, but I couldn’t. For that, I apologize.

When they brought Irma out, they held her between the two of them and said she had a special surprise. At this point the two screens on either side of the stage lit up and there was Tom Hanks singing “Deep in the Heart of Texas!” And he really shouldn’t sing. It’s a very bad idea. I mean… seriously… he’s awful. There were many a bloody ear when he stopped. The funny part about Hanks’ tribute to Irma was how he plugged THE LADYKILLERS at least 40 times in his tribute. I mean – had an Amazon Link appeared at the bottom of the screen I would not have been surprised.

Finally, Irma took the mike and folks. What an entrancing, elegant and beautiful woman. Irma was pure magic on that stage. Her memories of growing up in Beaumont wanting to be a “sporting lady” on account of her marble shootin’ abilities – to tracing the path that led her to being in film. She recalled her daddy using the phrase, "CUT THE HOG!!!" and she said laughing, "It is a rather old phrase, but then, I'm rather an Old Lady." Her desire to be that “Old Lady” for all the old ladies out there was especially wonderful. She said that she could play a new old lady everyday for the rest of her life and never play the same one twice, because there is no single type of , “OLD LADY!” She was wonderful up there! Bravo!

Next Anne introduced Billy Bob Thornton… and boy did she go on and on about Billy. First off, she let the audience know how much she likes guys from Arkansas named Bill. And how a man named Billy Bob has a place in the heart of Texas. She then enthused about SWINGBLADE. Suddenly she announces Billy Bob Thornton and he took the stage…

Billy Bob instantly stated how much Ann wanted him. How she leaves these phone messages on his machines, such messages… and you could tell how much they got to him. How much those messages kept him awake at night dreaming of Ann. In fact, the entire hanger got a collective hot flash from Billy Bob and as the sauna wore off, he began his induction of Dennis Quaid into the Texas Film Hall of Fame. Probably the most touching part of his tribute was his acknowledgement of Quaid’s Doc Holiday in that rather tiresome Costner version of WYATT EARP. While Val Kilmer’s is the pop – cooler than cool version, Quaid’s Doc Holiday felt real, looked real… and had someone told me that Dennis died a week after shooting of consumption, I’d have sadly acknowledged it as truth.

Dennis’ clip reel was nice… Kicking off with him being thrown out of the James/Younger gang in THE LONG RIDERS (my fave film of his) – to his flirting with the base nurse in THE RIGHT STUFF to playing the flaming piano in GREAT BALLS OF FIRE to seducing Ellen Barkin (pant pant pant) in THE BIG EASY!

Of all the acceptances last night, Dennis’ was the most abbreviated and direct. He’d like to spend the rest of his life making movies in Texas. He lives here in Austin and would love to continue to work here. He was quite the charmer, but didn’t really say much other than having met his wife here in Austin.

After he left the stage Rebecca Campbell, Director of the Austin Film Society took the stage. Now – if the evening had a mistake – it was not placing Rebecca’s talk at the head of the evening. When she came out, she said that if you wanted to stretch your legs a bit, to go right ahead. The problem with this was Rebecca wasn’t speaking long. And by the time Ann Richards hit the stage to introduce George Lopez… about a third of the audience was standing and walking around. Which genuinely sucked and was noisy.

However, George came out with some self-effacing Mexican humor – that perhaps went on a bit much. He introduced a clip of Sandra Bullock giving a shout out to Robert Rodriguez, who George was inducting into the Hall of Fame. Now – of all the clip reels – the most impressive was Robert Rodriguez’s. I believe that Robert edited it himself and put a 5.1 surround mix on it, and had smuggled in 20 extra speakers for it. But that’s just a sneaking suspicion. The clip reel was really really fun. Inter-cutting his whole career including footage from SIN CITY and THE ADVENTURES OF SHARK BOY & LAVA GIRL (which looks very very weird).

Finally – Robert Rodriguez took the stage. Now – if you’ve never had the opportunity to see Robert speak… he’s just 100% inspirational. He makes you want to make movies so bad, you can barely sit still. You want to run out of the building, grab a camera, 9 or 10 friends and start shooting that night. If there’s a reason I’m now in the process of making films, it’s because endless late night phone calls with Robert just rendered me conditioned for taking these steps into filmmaking. To give you a taste. Robert mentioned that he recently had Francis Ford Coppola visit his TROUBLEMAKER STUDIOS and the AUSTIN STUDIOS and apparently Francis was stunned and said that this was his dream for Zoetrope all those years ago. To have the stages and the space and the ability to just make movies when you had an idea, a dream and a desire to make movies. Robert detailed how after a screening of EL MARIACHI 10-15 years before, Governor Ann Richards first put the bug in his and Rick’s ears to turn the Airport into a studio when the planes moved to Bergstrom. He name checked the apartment he edited EL MARIACHI in town, the place he met his miraculous wife Elizabeth Avellan, the PHARMACO that he sold his body to and how he planned to make movies here with his family for the rest of his life. Robert is one of the anchors of film here in Austin. And like Popeye, this anchor is ready to knock you out.

Lastly… Ann Richards took the stage to introduce a true goddess, legend and wonderful human being. LAUREN BACALL.

Now Lauren isn’t of Texas, she’s never made a movie in Texas… but she was in Douglas Sirk’s WRITTEN ON THE WIND in 1956 which was set in Texas. Heh. And that film and Lauren were being given a Frontier Award. Thursday night I got to spend a bit of time with Lauren talking about Lionel Barrymore and KEY LARGO as she signed my half-sheet of the film to me. There has only been 3 occassions in my life where I nearly fainted from Star-Shock. The first was meeting Bob Hope. The second was meeting Gregory Peck. The third was meeting Lauren Bacall. In all 3 cases, we’re talking about talent that simply is out of my dimensional placement. Lauren is attached to footage and films and cinematic stories so primal and legendary within my personal pantheon of cinematic worship, that her presence is like being ordered to shoot Leslie Nielsen in the head with a blaster… it does not compute, it sets of a series of contradictions and realizations, that if it went on long enough, I’d simply burn out.

Lauren, as she took the stage was greeted with a standing ovation… in fact, some people actually stood atop their chairs. The clip they played right before she hit the stage was from TO HAVE AND TO HAVE NOT… you know which clip. And as she hit the stage, I had the breakdown, I couldn’t give into the night before. Maybe it was seeing that footage first. But when she hit the stage, tears just burst and rolled down my chubby cheeks. Lauren took that microphone and told stories about her and Rock Hudson thinking that WRITTEN ON THE WIND was just some cheap tawdry soap opera. How they were bored making the film, and had the “boring roles”. She remembered Bogie sitting and reading the review from Newsweek to her, and after he got through the description of the movie, he said, “I wouldn’t make any of these.” And, I could hear him say it. God, that was Lauren Bacall. Wow. She was literally flummoxed that people honor or remember this film. She hadn’t watched it since it was originally out, but felt as if she should watch it anew to understand the cult following it had.

And with that high watermark of the evening, it was over. I wheeled out of the hanger to sit in front of the Coen Brothers’ limo and watch Steve McQueen fight THE BLOB on that giant Rolling Roadshow screen. Everybody asking me, “What film is this?” the heathens. The night formally ended with an enormous fireworks show – which… as Billy Bob Thornton climbed into his car, he was heard to say to FatherGeek, “They’re really puttin’ on the cat’s meow now aren’t they?”

Indeed, they certainly put on the cat’s meow!