Below ol' Sinbad lets loose on BLADE. This was the only word I have heard on BLADE thus far, and would appreciate any other opinions that people might have on the screening of this one. Is it really this bad?
I, Sinbad the Sailor, recently took some time out from fighting Cyclops, Skeletons and Kali statues (which no CGI Effects will ever equal, in my opinion) to visit Hollywood. There, my warrior's eye gazed upon something which caused my noble brow to furrow. It was "Blade", starring Wesley Snipes. "Blade" sucks. It's as bad as "Kull The Conquerer." The script is shit, the dialogue is insulting, the cinematography is awful, and omigod, is the acting bad. Well, okay, Wesley Snipes is passable. But Stephen Dorff turns in maybe the worst perfomance I've seen in a big-budget motion picture since Juliette Lewis in "Strange Days." He plays the head vampire, and all he does is bare his teeth, bulge out his eyeballs, and talk fast and loud. You have to see this to believe it. There hasn't been overacting like this since--shit, I don't know. I really don't know what to compare it too.
Furious, I removed my Sinbad scimitar and hacked the offending "Blade" to pieces. I called for the Jackie Brown trailer to sate my wrath, and was immediatly satisfied. "Jackie Brown" is going to be one of the four best films of the season. (The other three? "Titanic", "Boogie Nights", and "GoodWill Hunting".) Tons of just cool STUFF! Pam posing (and whoo mama, those double Ds are still beautiful) Bridget Fonda flirting (and her bikini-clad bod will be inspiring some adoration too) De Niro sneering, and Sam Jackson just being a baaaaad motherfucker. Wait till you see the babes with machine guns video--as I watched it, all I could think of was, "Man....Aint it cool?".
