Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
CURSED is right around the corner now. February 25th. And it sounds like they’re starting to screen it more often. I’ll say this... Dignan warned us all a few weeks ago about BE COOL, and I talked to a trusted source last night who backed that up, saying it was a total waste of time. So is Dignan on the money about CURSED? Let’s see...
Dignan here, with a review of Cursed:
So, a few weeks back I wrote in telling anyone and everyone to avoid the wimpy, bland PG-13 Be Cool. I'm still yelling as loud and as often as I can, avoid that film like the plague!!!
On to the film I saw tonight, Wes Craven's Cursed. I must say, I was not really looking forward to this film. I love horror films more than most, but all the reports I've read about have filled me with dread. Reshoot after reshoot, new endings, new beginnings. The most worrisome rumor was that the Brothers Weinstein were going for a PG-13 rating, and boy how I hate me some PG-13.
Well, I can safely say that the version I saw tonight is rated R, scratch that, a HARD R. And unfortunately, that is one of the only things the film has going for it.
Quick plot rundown: Christina Ricci and her nebbish younger brother hit some kind of animal with their car on Mulholland one night, and it causes a huge accident. Anyone who knows anything about the film should know what they hit. They get scratched, madness ensues, and before it's all over, many folks are dead.
What works: Gore, Gore, Gore. A person who's been ripped in half, still crawls around. A man gets his neck bitten and a geyser of blood shoots towards the ceiling. People get torn to bits all over the place.
There are a few really well staged scenes. The before mentioned car accident and the chase that follows is quite intense. There is also a really creepy scene in a parking garage where a certain R & B singer gets stalked by the werewolf.
There werewolf effects were pretty nicely done. They actually used Rick Baker’s creature a lot more than I expected. However, when the creature ran/jumped, they did resort to some shoddy CG work. But those shots were very quick and weren't enough to really complain about.
Also, the kid who played Ricci's younger brother, Jesse Eisenberg (Roger Dodger) was really good. He was straddled with the Nerdie Comic Relief character, but he really played it nicely. He's got great comic timing.
What doesn't work: Script, script, script. There's no denying it anymore, Kevin Williamson is a one trick pony. His technique worked for the first Scream movie, for sure. However, he's written the same damn thing over and over and over again. The tagline for this film should be: "Just like 'Scream, But With a Werewolf Instead of Ghostface!!" I previously thought that the Scooby Doo ending of Scream 2 was the worst he could do, 'I am the crazy mother and I did everything!', however, I was wrong, WAY wrong. The Scooby Doo ending in Cursed is really terrible. I am not going to give away anything, but the climax in the Horror Night Club was dreadful. I'm sorry, but there's nothing funny or cool about seeing a werewolf giving the middle finger to our protagonists. I shit you not, it actually gives the finger to Christina Ricci.
So, my worst fears were not realized, the film was definitely rated R. All in all, it was somewhat enjoyable, had a few good tense scenes, a few scares, but all in all, kinda forgetable.
C+
Huh. Not the worst review of all time, but hardly a glowing recommendation. I guess we’ll see soon enough...
"Moriarty" out.
