A DIRTY SHAME review

I’m not sure what to think about seeing John Waters’ A DIRTY SHAME, just 2 days after the death of Russ Meyer. I’ve been watching a whole selection of Meyer’s classic titles, so my level of titillation was at a peak, literally. Not that I have a big breast fetish, I mean, everyday when I wake up, I’m staring at my big breasts, and while they are magnificent man-flesh with purty pert pink nipples aching to be licked… I usually refrain. BUT – I sure do appreciate a healthy bosom to honk, hug and hum in. Titties just rule. You know it and I know it. Titties of all shapes and sizes rule. Now, I’ve never really thought of John Waters in the same breath as Russ Meyer, simply because Russ… well Russ’ films, for me, were about big laughs and big breasts, and John Waters typically has a lot more going on. In the world of great cult filmmakers, in the titillating world I have Doris Wishman and Russ Meyer as the Queen and King of the genre. And then in terms of High Quality Cult Consistency I had Paul Bartel and John Waters. In particular Waters had such a genuine sense of wicked glee at showing and doing things that the audience never thought, in a million years, they’d see on screen. That was early John Waters, and in the past 10 years or so, he’s… well not necessarily straightened his act, but has been exploring less absurdist angles in the cult realm. With A DIRTY SHAME, he might very well be at his most cartoony best.

I’m a BETTY BOOP fetishist. I love Betty Boop. I’ve got a Betty Boop comforter and pillow. I adore the realm she exists in, where anything and everything can come to life. Well, my bet is that John Waters loves Betty Boop too. His characters may not be made of pen & ink in this film, but this is a Max Fleischer universe corrupted by old timey sex songs which get the whole world frisky and frolicking!

Now, I’m not positive where this whole Concussion = Sex Addict concept was borne from, but… the standard concept of Caveman courting was the club to the cranium, back to the cave for zugzug. I never knew it to be effective, but since this is pure sexploitation farcical fun… a bonk on the head leads to carnal commotions. Cool.

You’ll just have to take that at face value, otherwise – the film will just bore ya to tears, cuz this film is essentially a sexploitation beginner’s manual to the world of sexploitation. I loved it, but that’s probably because, having just gone sexin’ with Meyer, my cinematic libido was primed for proper tomfoolery, and this was it. If there is such a thing as a Gateway film, meaning… a film that’ll lead you to others, and I really do believe this happens. Much like CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON led many, just as KILL BILL is doing the same… Well, A DIRTY SHAME is a gateway film for the frisky set. If you see this film, your fragile little mind may be exposed to things that only the average internet geek with an Internet connection might be familiar with. In an odd way, the film will probably be preaching to the choir, but ya know… that choir is at church usually 3 times a week, and loving the preaching. SO – if you’re a PERV or if you’re aspiring to be a PERV – this is the film for you.

It’s a nice fantasy for us debauched gentry. Just imagine… if one day, the prudish stuck up repressed conservatives ceased with their behind closed doors guilt ridden explorations into sado-masochisms and anal fixations to openly embracing who they are and what they are… as well as accepting the unique fetishes of others. If suddenly a simple bonk on the head turned the thumpers into the thumped.

In an odd way this is a sexploitation Zombie film, only… we’re supposed to root for the zombies, cuz the don’t crave brains, they crave instant sexual gratification. It’s like in FLESH GORDON when Emperor Wang’s Sex Ray pummels the Earth and suddenly prudish sets commence with instant orgies. Only here, those sexual deviants wish to convert the neuters, every bit as aggressively as the Right-Wing would like to take away their “sickness”. The result is something fun.

Now the film isn’t meant to make you care deeply for these characters. You’re not supposed to really associate with Tracy Ullman or Johnny Knoxville or Selma Blair. If you do, then you’re probably blessed, but this is an absurdist live action sexually charged Betty Boop film.

You’ll see Squirrels infected with copulatin’ contagion. You’ll see knots on trees resembling puckered sucking anuses begin sucking and craving. You’ll see flowers fucking, trees fucking, inanimate objects cavorting. You’ll even see frozen David Hasselhoff flying shit! I shit you not!

Now – why will I buy this film?

One because it’s fun. Two because the soundtrack has some of the best suggestive songs I’ve heard in a while. My favorite being Connie Vannett’s THE PUSSY CAT SONG, which is so sweet and innocent in sound, but in verse it’s utterly filthy. FILTHY. Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ MOANIN’ is just great. Also great are BLACK TARANTULA, RED HOT, EAGER BEAVER BABY and the classic… ITCHY TWITCHY SPOT by Run C&W. The music tells every bit as much story as the characters, again, just like a Betty Boop cartoon.

From Tracy’s fiery pussy, to Knoxville’s elongating steamy tongue, to Selma Blair’s astonishing breasts augmenting her petite frame into the very vision of a brunette Little Annie Fannie. I want whole films starring Selma Blair’s URSULA UDDERS character in seemingly innocent tales. Films where she’s the lead with this enormous bosom, but other than that, it’s just your standard Reese Witherspoon or Lindsay Lohan type of film. It’d be hilarious. That the breasts seemingly weigh nothing, and how joyfully Selma moves about with them… I mean her nude scenes in this movie are enough to create wild fantasies of cartoon sexual perversity into even the most demure mind (like mine).

Also, I was shocked how much I liked Knoxville’s character. Ray Ray as a sexual prophet and healer is classic.

Well done John, well done.

The event at the ALAMO last night started off grand when we had a “TENT CONTEST” where we had two women and two men come up from the audience, then… announced that what these strange women and these strange men had to do was pair up, the women had to get an erection going to “tent” his pants, and they’d win a fantastic group of prizes. What happened next was legend. The one pair… the girl was too embarrassed to touch him. The other pair, the girl was biting his nipples, licking his chest, rubbing him through his pants, taking off her shirt to rub her bare breasts all over him… but the guy, the guy couldn’t get it up… but the guy with the girl that wouldn’t touch him… he sprouted a huge “Tent” watching this other girl trying with all her might to get the flaccid man going. The judges split the prizes between the man with the tent and the girl that OBVIOUSLY aroused him. The room was a riot. Very good.

Overall – a great night!!!