Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with a look inside one of the oddest conventions in the world. I attended Dragon Con in '98 with Harry, Father Geek and the missing Tom Joad (last I saw him, I heard him mutter something about "head west, young man," but since he had his pants unbuckled and was doing... something... to himself I didn't think he was addressing me, if you know what I mean...). I know there's a preconception of places like the San Diego Comic Con and while it and other cons do have their fair share of stereotypical LOTR/Star Wars/Anime geeks, I have to say Dragon Con is the only one who 100% lives up to the image of this kind of convention. It's a breathing, living stereotype that one.
That's not meant to put it down. I have very fond memories of my time in Atlanta... Watching John Carpenter talk about VAMPIRES and his past work for the first time, meeting Ray Harryhausen for the first time, meeting Ray Bradbury for my only time (which was a trip as I had just read the brilliant FAHRENHEIT 451 a few weeks before the Con), seeing grown men fight with 6 foot tall inflatable penis' at the early screening of ORGAZMO, seeing Trey Parker not realize the live satellite feed was on while he sat for 20 minutes slurping a super-sized McDonalds soda while getting made up before his Q&A and surprising Dee Snider by bringing him a british quad of PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE to sign, something which he never was asked about. He ended up writing, "To Quint. Burn in hell. Dee Snider" after taking it around and showing all his friends. If you remember Dee Snider's appearance in PEE-WEE'S BIG ADVENTURE, then you know why that's one of my favorite autographs. All that was top notch and I didn't even get into the bizarre live GWAR concert I attended, complete with a stage dismembering of Princess Diana (not too long after her death remember) where the audience was soaked with fake blood from her arm, leg and, eventually, neck stumps as well as fake milk that shot out of her breasts.
So, if you want to get a feel for this con, process all that above and throw in Harlan Ellison being the fucking man, Bernie Wrightson being cool as hell and the most costumed geeks gathered in place you can imagine. That's about as close as I can come to describing this event. For more, I turn you over to Grendy who has the latest from Atlanta... All I can say from reading her report is I would have freaked the fuck out if I was in the same room as Margot Kidder... That woman just scares me! Anyway... Enjoy!!!
So I am writing to you all from Dragon*Con, and either the Matrix is broken, or there’s more then one guy in a Spider-Man costume here. Oh, wait, there’s like 47 guys in Spidey outfits. One of the best things about this place is the amazing costumes that people put together and just walk around in. There’s this dead-on Mysterio guy, (with electric sparking finger!), who was also Mr. Fantastic last year, as well as Angel from the X-Men. He had wings that if extended, would have been about 8 feet wide. I can't imagine how he loads those things in the car. My ultra-fave costume had to be the one I saw Sunday night. A guy, about 25 or so, skinny, pale, in black tights and no shirt and come converse. He had on some round dark glasses, and the best part? He made some Doc Ock arms. Out of Coors Light cans! They were duct taped to his skinny frame, about 15 cans per "arm" and he staggered all over the hotel shouting " I'll get you Spider-Man...." and " I can smell youuuuu, Peter ! Parker!!!" First time I saw him I laughed 'til my eyes watered. But, wait, you guys aren't here to talk about how cool that one guy looked. You're here to get some scoops.
Gossipy bits: (1) Warren Ellis (author: Transmetropolition / The Authority, Exec. Producer of Global Frequency) said he saw David Carradine, “Awesomely drunk last night. He could barely lean against the elevator.”
(2) Harlan Ellison involved the cops in a shouting match with a Goth-band guy, Voltaire, on Friday night. His signing table was near Voltaire’s and he didn't like the loud music playing at the booth. Since Harlan’s in his 70’s and feels entitled to be cranky at the drop of the hat, he involved an officer, and it turned out that cops could do nothing, but Ellison’s table was moved the next day.
(3) Peter David can do a passable version of “The Rainbow Connection” at the mic, and when the guy with the bubbles blew them into the audience at the late night Cabaret, it made the crowd go “Ohhh, cool!” He can also do an amusing version of “If I Were A Rich Man” from Fiddler on the Roof. While shaking his booty to the song I jumped up and gave him a dollar (to help him start becoming rich) and he stuffed it in his pants. This made the audience go “Ewwww!” Also noted, he sang the Tom Lehrer classics “Poisoning Pigeons in the Park” and “The Vatican Rag”.
(4) Marc Singer’s still looking good, and very buff. He confirmed the new “V” mini-series.
(5) Fans of Kill Bill brought David Carradine many Samurai swords to sign. It was cool, since he got fairly ignored last year. (Which was a shame).
(6) Margot Kidder is just a nice as can be, posing for many pics and adoration from the masses.
(7) Lorenzo Lamas looks surgery-fakey and I don't think he got nearly half the fans either Carradine or Ray Park got. That'll teach him to be in lame movies/ TV shows. (His star-turn in the original Grease notwithstanding)
(8) The young Boba Fett, Daniel Logan likes hot fan girls. Jeremy Bullock (original Boba Fett) doesn't get those anymore.
(9) Bullock only had 4 lines in first appearance, and still managed to “cock one up” with the following; “Put Captain Cargo in the Solo Hold” …much to George’s dismay.
(10) On Attack of the Clones: Hayden gave Daniel his old PS-1 when he met him, as his agent had just given him a new PS-2, and just as Hayden plugged it in and turned it on Daniel remembered something about voltage differences, and when the thing exploded, the firemen came and he had to pay a fine. ( I know that's not super current Star Wars news, but the way Daniel told it was amusing as all hell)
This is from the Warren Ellis panel on Saturday:
Q: What’s writing the Ultimate Fantastic Four like? A: I am using my back brain for that. It’s a favor.
Q: any truth to the Transmetropolition series on HBO? A: -vague evasive answer to this, that segued into talking about “poor old Alan” Moore and such films at FROM HELL and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen which he called, “Astonishingly bad” and said something to the effect of it would have been directed better by someone “digging up Ed Wood and stuffing him with a clockwork” to direct.
It’s well known that Moore took the Constantine money and gave it to the various artists who've worked with him. It was blood money he didn't want.
Q: ever interacted with Hunter S. Thompson concerning Spider Jerusalem? A: no, but once during a press junket for Fear and Loathing, I noticed he had a small black plastic spider in the brim of his cowboy hat. Man, that fucked with me but good!
Q: so you're soon to be a published author…? Tell us about it. (abbreviated version of story) A: It’s about how the secret emergency constitution of the US was sold by Nixon to a Chinese prostitute in the 50’s. Now there’s a guy hired by the government to get it back. Also he mentioned Bukke. If you don't know, look it up, but don't blame me. And last, and not least: “A Democratic party that wants to win does not send Boris Karloff with a badger stapled to his head to be president.” (Huge laughter on that one.)
~I will send the transcriptions of the various Firefly/Serenity panels next, but I wanted to toss these bits out to you guys ASAP. Also I interviewed and had drinks with Nathan Fillion and Adam Baldwin and those notes will be coming soon.
~Peace out, Grendy
