Ok, first off don't read this if you don't want to know stuff like, how vampires die in this film. And if you already know how, then fine continue reading
Alright, this fella gives it a cool rating, but one of them 'middle of the road/disappointing' reviews. His number one complaint is the lack of creativity in VAMPIRE deaths. Well, I'm sorry to tell ya this, but according to the legend this film puts forth, there is only two ways to kill em. Drive a stake through their heart or drag em out into the sun. Is this a bit mundane, a bit to regular? Well, yeah, but personally I kinda felt that was the point. This is a job for these guys, and when everyday your job is to go out and kill the hell out of Vampires, well you develop efficient ways of handling this. It's like Sicilian Neck Ties, or the two in the back of the head, mob style of doing things. You stick to what works. Unless the print this fella saw has already been tampered with (ie Sony chopping the gore stuff out) then this film should have enough to satisfy the moderate gore lovers. This ain't Herschel Gordon Lewis or Dawn of the Dead or Fulci style gore, it's not that far. This is a gothic western, where the evil bandidos are Vampires, and Gary Cooper/John Wayne is James Woods.... The below reviewer tries to place this film into Carpenter's history. For me, personally I think of Carpenter films in groups. The first group are my absolute without a doubt, blow my mind into chunks against the wall films. These are THE THING, ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, HALLOWEEN, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA. Then there is the section that no matter the time of day or night that the film appears on my television screen, my eyes stay transfixed. These are VAMPIRES, THEY LIVE, THE FOG, ASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13, and DARK STAR. Then there is the rest of Carpenter's films. These are the ones that I may start watching, or fast forward to a sequence or whatever. VAMPIRES is in that wonderful middle world of cool flicks, though I know Carpenter fans that have moved it into group #1, so it just depends on how the film hits ya. Anyway here's the review....
It's just a mere 2 hours ago that I saw John Carpenter's long-awaited VAMPIRES. Like my fellow countryman before me, I watched it on the Fantasy Filmfest in Stuttgart, Germany, which is one of the few occasions for a European geek to see a US movie before you guys do (I'm always suffering from the fact that all the real cool movies are released in the US months before they hit European theaters - and usually they're dubbed like you wouldn't believe).
Since VAMPIRES is one of those rare flicks, I thought you might want to hear my opinion, which slightly differs from those you heard from other reviewers. Well, this movie rocks like hell... er, not really...
OK, Johnny hasn't been better than this since THEY LIVE (which I actually enjoyed very much and which is IMO way better), but he's definitely not back in *true* form. Maybe I was a little spoiled by all the favorable reviews I read on AICN, which kinda raised my expectations...
Don't get me wrong, VAMPIRES *is* a cool movie, but like Hallenbeck stated before, it's not a uber-fuckin-cool movie (which usually is Carpenter-standard), it's more mediocre. But what was it that didn't work for me? Hmm, I think VAMPIRES lacks a good deal of originality. Take the battles with the vampires - it's always the same thing: Vampire gets shot with crossbow/stabbed with spear/etc., is dragged into sunlight by truck, goes up in flames. How many times did we get to see exploding vampires? I didn't count, but it were way too many times. The slaying reminded me of TREMORS 2, always the same (one worm gets blown up by dynamite, then another one, and, guess what, right after the last one yet another one - this sucks badly). Boring that is. That's why I love FROM DUSK TILL DAWN or BRAINDEAD, there's lots of carnage, but it's never boring cause no one's killed the same way twice. And so much has been made of that oh so terrible blood-letting. Now I don't think the carnage is all THAAAT bad... it's relatively tame compared to FROM DUSK TILL DAWN or well, BRAINDEAD. Nevertheless, KNB did a good job (as usual) and I'm not sure if VAMPIRES will get an R rating without some slight cuts and trims - it will definately be badly crippled when released theatrically in Germany.
Another thing that bugs me is the look of Valek. He kinda reminded me of the undead ober-schmoe in Full Moon's shitty SUBSPECIES series. Pale face, velvet dress, and later on in the film they added those stupid red lines all over his face. I mean what's the point? They say those vampires aren't like the ones you see in the movies, they don't give a shit about crosses, garlic, holy water. But why the hell do they have to look like classic vamps? That's why I love NEAR DARK so much, the roadie-vampires looked plain cool and original. That's the way to go.
What really saved the film for me was 1.) Carpenter's fuckin GREAT score that really added much to the atmosphere (the flick wouldn't have been HALF as dense without it - hope Sony will keep it, otherwise...) and 2.) the performances: James Woods *is* uber-cool, same with Daniel Baldwin (who almost steals the show). I never liked Laura Palmer (aka Sheryl Lee) that much, but she's really great here. Seductive, a foxy chick with (like Hallenbeck said) a damn nice butt.
Hallenbeck said he didn't like the ending, well, I loved it. Thank God that the death of Valek wasn't the real ending, cause that would have sucked badly, but I was really touched by the final (???...) conversation between James (Woods) and the Baldwin bro. I had goosebumps all over and almost tears in my eyes...
All in all I think the rest of the audience (mainly low-lifes and farmer boys from the suburbs...) seemed to share my opinion - which kinda surprised me... Some laughs here, some oohhs there, but no real reaction from the crowd. The guy next to me constantly checked his watch and he seemed to be a huge fan of Carpenter when I talked to him before the show.
VAMPIRES is not a bad movie, it's just a disappointing one. Carpenter can do much better. My advice is: Go see it, but don't expect too much. Cause that's a mistake I made. For the first ten minutes or so, I thought VAMPIRES is going to be one of the year's coolest, but that passed after the first battle when I noticed Carpenter chose to play by the rules. I consider myself as a big fan of Carpenter's, I loved him for DARK STAR, HALLOWEEN, THE THING, ASSAULT ON PRECINT 13, FOG, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA, THEY LIVE and ESCAPE FROM N.Y, but I hated MOUTH OF MADNESS, CHRISTINE and ESCAPE FROM L.A. VAMPIRES neither belongs to the one side nor to the other. It centers along with VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED and the rest of his work. Hope you still like me... Yours truly, Special Agent Dale Scooper
