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Sorting Out Those James Bond Rumors...

Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

Evidently, the new ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY features Pierce Brosnan saying that he’s done with the Bond franchise. Since their site is for subscribers only, I can’t confirm that, but I’m sure it’ll be in this week’s issue if they did run it. Makes sense. People in and around MGM have known that Pierce wanted out for a while now. He hasn’t been happy with the direction the films have taken, and he has been trying to steer the franchise in a riskier direction, back towards the original Fleming source material. As a longtime fan of the books who is ambivalent at best towards the movies (outright hostile, in some cases), I always liked the notion of Quentin Tarantino doing a straight adaptation of CASINO ROYALE. It’ll never happen, though, and I’ve accepted that. We’re not that lucky.

The rumor that is being printed and reprinted this week, though, is that Orlando Bloom will be playing a young James Bond at school. For some reason, people are saying this is a Miramax project. There’s a whole lot of stupid in that rumor. MGM/Eon owns Bond and isn’t about to give someone else a license to kill their franchise by doing some ridiculous “Young Bond” series. And Miramax can’t just decide to make the films without that permission. Forget this rumor right away. It’s just pointless noise and mumbles.

You want some a real Bond tidbit to chew on? How about the name of the guy who MGM has already tapped to replace Brosnan? I first heard this name floated a month or so ago, but now I’ve heard it from three fairly solid sources. No paperwork is signed yet, but it looks like they’ve made their choice, and it’s not the long-rumored Clive Owen, and it’s not Hugh Jackman, and it’s not Hugh Grant, and it’s not any of the names I’ve heard a dozen times before.

Nope. Looks like the next guy to suit up and slip on the 007 moniker will be an actor who can really sink his CHOPPERs into the role. A guy who brings a certain HULKing charm to the role. A comedian-turned-action lead who... ummm... oh, how the fuck do I make a lame TROY joke here? Forget it.

Bana. Eric Bana. You heard it here first.

"Moriarty" out.





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