Happy Thoughts for Bob Burns!!!

Ok folks, this isn't news, and it ain't exactly cool, but it is about a person that defines cool. He's one of us, he's a person that loves this world of film so much, that he embraced it in a way like very few others. He is the keeper of holy relics, amazing artifacts that bring glee to all. He's a man that most of us would love to be, and being that person we should all look up to. Moriarty has done the right thing to single Bob Burns out, and let us all send happy thoughts in Bob's direction. If you know Bob, give him a call, wish him well, and tell him a few thousand geeks told ya to. Here's Moriarty...

Hey, Head Geek...

"Moriarty" here.

Allow me to set aside my typical jocularity and get right to the point. One of us, one of the greatest geeks of all time, is in trouble. I'd like you to join me in asking each of your regular readers and contributors to spare a moment to think good thoughts for Bob Burns.

"Who?" I can hear many of you asking. "What did he ever make?" Well, let me tell you a little bit about my friend Bob. Bob is just like all of us, drunk in love with the movies, and he has spent his life working in and around movies, and his house is a museum that most of us would give anything to be the curator of.

Bob has been working in films since the '50s, when he started doing work as a makeup artist and mask maker. He's always had a special passion for genre films, inspired by the original KING KONG as well as the work of the brilliant Jack Pierce. He made aliens from outer space, he was the mentor and best friend of a little kid named Rick Baker, and he played Tracey the Gorilla on shows like GHOST BUSTERS (the Larry Storch and Forrest Tucker show, not the Murray/Ramis/Aykroyd comedy). He was Major Mars. He put on the world's greatest Halloween shows with the help of people like Ken Ralston, John Dykstra, artists from ILM, Digital Domain, Fantasy II, and dozens of other FX and makeup houses. His stairs are lined with life casts from great faces like James Dean, Vincent Price, and Boris Karloff. He loves toys. He loves soundtracks. The only remaining model from the original KING KONG lives with him, as do at least five of the aliens from the original Cantina scene in STAR WARS. I've been able to sit in George Pal's Time Machine and hug Rick Baker's American Werewolf thanks to him. The lit up angel-alien from THE ABYSS looks down at the head of the queen mother alien from the second and fourth ALIEN movies in his basement. The derilect spaceship from the first film is parked in the driveway. The head of the cane (you know the one) from THE WOLF MAN is heavier than you'd think. I know -- I've held it.You can see GREMLINS from both of Dante's films side by side with a Mugwump head from NAKED LUNCH or Chris Walas's sculptures from the fly. The zombie baby from DEAD ALIVE sits on the stairs.

Harry, Bob is sick. He has been on and off for the last few years, but my conversation with him tonight was scary. I have a friend coming to town, and I wanted to take him to enjoy Bob's collection. Bob is always the world's most gracious and entertaining host, and he has always gone out of his way to share his awesome collection with people who share that same love of film with him. Normally, he would have said yes without hesitation. When I spoke with him tonight, though, he detailed his recent health concerns. Suffice it to say that prayer or karma or whatever higher power you believe in should be summoned with full force by each and every person who reads this page. Bob Burns is one of the good ones, Harry. No, wait... scratch that. Bob Burns is one of the great ones. His stories about Ed Wood and George Pal and his annual Halloween show and James Cameron and a dozen other great Hollywood names are priceless, impossible to replace. Sure, all of his best friends have heard the stories... but that's not the point. Bob is more than a historian of Hollywood's magic. In many ways, he's a focal point of it.

I can't stress strongly enough how much Bob needs the good thoughts of everyone out there. If you love movies, then spare a moment in your meditation or your prayers tonight and put in a word for him. A world without Bob is like a world without Santa Claus or Steven Spielberg. Sure, it'll exist, but what fun would it be?

Thanks.

"Moriarty" out.