Hey @$$holes, Village Idiot here.
Timely, topical -- This week's column is ripped from today's headlines!
* Is Cap on the juice? Jon Quixote rips the lid off Superhero Steroid Abuse with his review of CAPTAIN AMERICA/THE FALCON #2!
* Troubled Teens! What will happen when comicdom's favorite sidekick is UNMASKED? I'll shine a light on the situation with my review of ROBIN #124!
* How much longer can Chuck Austen skate on the love and goodwill of internet fandom? Ambush Bug asks the tough questions in this week's CHEAP SHOTS!
* Plus potpourri tips from CORMORANT'S KITCHEN!
All this and more, just a few scrolls away!
(Click title to go directly to the review)
PLANETARY #19
SPIDER-MAN: THE DEATH OF CAPTAIN STACY (TPB)
CAPTAIN AMERICA/THE FALCON #2
PUNISHER: THE END
AVENGERS/THUNDERBOLTS #2
ENGINEHEAD #1
ROBIN #124
B.P.R.D. – PLAGUE OF FROGS #1 & #2
Cheap Shots!
PLANETARY #19
Written by Warren Ellis
Art by John Cassaday
Published by Wildstorm/DC
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
Fair weather fans raise your hands! C'mon, join me.
PLANETARY was my favorite comic book until Ellis and Cassaday stopped doing it for a year or so. Since they've started again, I haven't been able to generate the same interest. It's like getting back together with an old girlfriend...or at least what I imagine getting back together with an old girlfriend must be like...stupid restraining orders.
My apathy toward my once-favorite book, about a group of adventurers chronicling the secret history of the 20th Century (which is our pop culture), has as much to do with some of the inherent flaws in the brilliant series as it does the creators' break. I've come to realize I don't care much for the fact that the Planetary team has super powers. Or that they're really a super-team/organization going up against a dark version of the (Fantastic) Four. I love the Four and some of you will tell me that they are the FF with realism but your idea of realism and mine are vastly different. This stuff isn't real, it can't be compared to reality unless you want to look like a dork so let's all just accept the fact that we're adults who love comic books, 'kay?
I think I'd like our little Planetary trio better if Elijah was just some old dude who didn't age, and Jakita and Drums were a pair of adventurous techies. If there are superheroes in this universe, why is their history a secret? PLANETARY has treated us to twisted versions of the Hulk and Thor, 1950s American giant bug movies, 1960s Japanese giant monster movies, Vertigo, Hong Kong action flicks, 1930s pulp heroes etc. The conceit, a great one, is that all of this was really going on in the fringes of the world. But it doesn't work as well if the Authority can appear over New York City at any time.
The main villains, the Four, are supposed to be awful because they have all this Reed Richards, outer space technology and they're hoarding it for their own amusement. That is a cool way of looking at the FF. They could cure cancer. They could end war and hunger. Instead, they explore the Negative Zone? But it was bothering me that Planetary was running up against the Four, confiscating and backward engineering their technology...and not doing anything with it. Ellis has addressed this in recent issues, with Elijah Snow saying that he's letting out their secrets as quickly as he can, but still isn't the Planetary calling the Four black?
Okay. Issue at hand. Giant, solemn, still, beautiful images by Cassaday. What is the reference? Some of you may have more of a clue than I do, but I would say that the space angels and the dead giant are the Planetary version of the Silver Surfer and Galactus, or Jack Kirby's Celestials, but I could be way the hell off.
It's cool. It's mysterious and it's beautiful. And for all my bitching, I'm there for issue 20 because the Four's version of the Thing, whom we have yet to see, has arrived on the scene at the end.
Okay, I'm back.
SPIDER-MAN: THE DEATH OF CAPTAIN STACY (TPB)
Writer: Stan Lee
Artists: Gil Kane & John Romita Sr.
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
"Tell 'im he can shove it, Jameson! Evidence don't mean nothing unless ya can use it! And Sambo ain't never gonna use it!"
- Scumbag politician, Sam Bullit, threatens Robbie Robertson in SPIDER-MAN: THE DEATH OF GWEN STACY
There are any number of remarkable moments in this trade, but that burst of racist dialog is among the most striking of them. Penned by Stan Lee in 1971, it's a perfect example of his ability to bring an edgy touch to his superhero comics, something perhaps forgotten by modern comic readers, eclipsed by Stan's larger-than-life personality or creaky projects like his JUST IMAGINE series for DC. But let me tell ya, folks, rediscovering Stan at his peak is one of the many reasons to own this trade. The untouchably great art of John Romita Sr. and Gil Kane is another. The fantastic battle sequences with Doctor Octopus, still another. And right up there with these enticements I'd put the response of J. Jonah Jameson to having his African-American city editor threatened by a racist, fascist politician. It may be Ol' Skinflint's most redemptive moment ever.
But this is an action story, dammit - let's talk about the action! The first chapter opens with an imprisoned Doctor Octopus learning to mentally summon his tentacles from a great distance, a historic moment in Spider-Man comics that's been repeated a zillion times since, but you see it here first. As a longtime fan of Doc Ock, I was pleased to see Ock played as Spider-Man's deadliest foe in this arc. Spidey struggles just to handle the runaway arms, acknowledging that were they being manipulated more directly by Ock, he'd be totally overwhelmed. If you're one of those who think of Octopus as just the tubby villain sporting Elton John's haircut, this trade will set you straight (no pun intended). Ock's an acknowledged killer in this story and clearly beyond Spider-Man in sheer power, bad haircut or no. Plus, he coolly refers to himself in the third person, as when he hijacks a plan and warns the police not to rush the plane when it lands: "Doc Ock isn't in the mood for crowds!"
Stan's dialogue is on in this story. His Ock is at his exasperated best (no villain is better at getting pissed beyond all reckoning), his Gwen Stacy is a seductive vixen, and his little nods to life in the early '70s are sure to bring a grin (check out the air pollution protestors excited over a possible visit from Ralph Nader). By modern standards, the stories have their fair share of corny dialogue too, from guest-star Iceman shouting "Zowie!" to Spider-Man constantly expressing aloud thoughts that should be part of an internal monologue. Of course, it's Stan's dialogue, and that means that even the corny stuff is somehow endearing. At one point Peter's getting pretty morbid in his fears of tangling with Doc Ock, and when he finally screws up the courage to face him: "After all, being a swingin' superhero is almost like being in show biz! And like they always say – the show must go on! Altho' I never figured out why!"
Classic Stan, classic Peter Parker.
The showdowns themselves are grueling, memorable action sequences. Some modern readers are perfectly willing to dismiss all old-school comics as "mindless slugfests," and I'll accept the "slugfest" descriptor, but "mindless"? Not a chance. Stan and his artists choreographed these battles with as much innovation and panache as the best Hollywood actioneer. One sequence has Spider-Man hiding behind a chimney, and when Ock's arms coil around to snare him, he webs the ends together, vaults off the building dragging the webbed bundle, and pulls the Ock headfirst into the chimney! Daaaaamn! Then Ock retracts his tentacles with blinding speed and pulls Spider-Man straight back into the other side of the chimney – this needs to be in the movie!
Most of these stories are drawn by Gil Kane with inks by Romita Sr, and I have to admit, my knowledge of Kane has always been minimal. I thought, based on anecdotal glimpses, that maybe he was a bit overrated – an otherwise unremarkable anatomy-specialist. That was until I saw his Spider-Man work in this and the DEATH OF GWEN STACY trade. I know now that I've been an idiot. I was practically getting vertigo watching his rooftop action sequences, as dynamic and wild as anything McFarlane ever did, but with anatomy and general realism that's a hundred times more convincing. In fact, the McFarlane cover and a few bonus pin-ups (covers he did for Spider-Man reprint comics) are the only artistic downside of the trade. McFarlane's work has aged with all the grace of a block of cheese.
The emotional crux of the story is, of course, the death of Gwen Stacy's police captain father. Again, I only knew the moment from a modern context, the retelling of the scene in a page of Kurt Busiek's MARVELS (among the cool bonus materials in the back is this very page), but it's a powerhouse. I never knew that Captain Stacy was supposed to have figured out that Peter Parker and Spider-Man were one and the same, so I suppose I was as surprised as audiences in '71 at the poignant moment when Peter Parker realizes this as the old man dies.
What follows is a classic tragedy in the Marvel tradition. Gwen, along with everyone else in the city, mistakenly blames Spider-Man for the death of Captain Stacy. And from a guy's perspective, it's just that much more heartbreaking because Kane and Romita Sr. make her such a damn hot little number in those short skirts, go-go boots, and black tops. Mercy! Along the way, Stan's tale dabbles in politics, plays up the anything-can-happen appeal of the Marvel Universe with a guest-spot from Iceman, and generally reminds us why Spider-Man is the all-time great hard luck hero. I want to try to be more critical of it, but how can I be?
Simply put, this is the goods.
CAPTAIN AMERICA/THE FALCON #2
Written by Priest
Art by Bart Sears
Published by Marvel Comics
A JonQuixote Commentary
Superheroes are more than just the masked men who protect us whenever The Absorbing Man has a bad scalp day and wants to take it out on Brooklyn. They are also role models, representing a pinnacle of physical and ethical achievement towards which we can aspire. In this regard, none are quite so exemplary as Captain America and his longtime teammate, The Falcon. Or were.
I don't know why the industry has remained silent on this for so long. Perhaps because they are cowed by the powerful heroes union, because millions of dollars in television contracts are at risk, or because the public is still wary after the Heroes Reborn debacle and frankly needed the recent heroic "achievements" in order to rekindle their interest in an industry that lost its innocence a long time ago.
It is apparent to those with open eyes that there is a huge problem facing the superhero industry today – the use of performance-enhancing chemicals. Steroids. Illegal drugs pumped into the veins of our "heroes," so that they can run faster, punch harder, dodge bullets better.
What proof do I have? My very own eyes.
I want you to take a look at Captain America from his rookie year. A strong build, to be sure, but sleek. Lithe.
Here we have Cap as recently as a couple years ago. Stockier than the early pictures, but we were willing to write it off as better training techniques, a healthier diet, and maybe even just natural filling out.
Here's Captain America as he appears in CAP/FALCON #2.
Kind of like watching The Jason Giambi Story on rewind, huh? Our very own Captain America, the physical representative of human athletic achievement, has become a lump of flesh so disfigured by its own musculature that he makes Lou Ferrigno look like Marilyn Monroe.
Say it ain't so, Cap. Say it ain't so.
Throwing an adamantium shield so that it bounces off two robots and a henchman before knocking a death ray out of Baron Zemo's hands is one of the hardest tasks to accomplish in professional superheroism. The pressures of competing against so many powered or technological foes must be incredible. And there is an argument to be made that what they do with their own bodies is up to Cap and Falcon. Tell that to the young heroes, struggling to crack the Avengers roster, who see Falcon sitting in on meetings, ripped up like an East German biathlete. Should they have to put their health and their spandex at risk by doping up? I, for one, do not want the rest of the heroic community feeling the pressure of having to distort their bodies into inhuman proportion just to compete.
Capt and Falc have accomplished so much during their storied careers. It would be a shame if their records were to be marred with asterixes. Their appeal is their humanity, their ability to perform acts of heroism and fortitude without having to shrivel up their testicles along the way.
I long for the days that I could open up a comic such as the otherwise excellent CAPTAIN AMERICA/FALCON and not wonder if the protagonists had been stung by a bee. Such blatant disregard for the human body casts a pall over the proceedings, and it's unnecessary.
It needs to stop, before others succumb to the pressure, and every hero looks as though he or she was conceptualized by Rob Liefeld. Cap, the Falcon, and Priest's CAPTAIN AMERICA/FALCON deserve so much better.
PUNISHER: THE END (one-shot)
Writer: Garth Ennis
Artist: Richard Corben
Publisher: Marvel Comics / Marvel MAX
Reviewed by Cormorant
You guys know about Marvel's semi-regular series of "The End" one-shots, right? Stand-alone hypotheticals about the final adventures of their most famous heroes? The series opened strong with HULK: THE END, re-teaming Peter David with collaborator Dale Keown for a chilling post-apocalyptic reflection on The Hulk. It served as a poignent last word on The Hulk as a modern tragedy in the mold of Prometheus, and Marvel could really stand to find a venue to reprint it. Next came MARVEL: THE END, a forgettable miniseries from Jim Starlin that was really just another gahdamn Thanos story. There's also WOLVERINE: THE END, a still-in-progress miniseries from the writer of ORIGIN. Like ORIGIN, it's high profile, and like ORIGIN, it'll probably be forgotten by all but the speculators in five years.
And now we've got Garth Ennis on PUNISHER: THE END, fourth in the "End" series and, amazingly, the first good entry since David's. Not only is it good, but it even helps us codify how to write successful "The End" projects in the future! 'Cause like HULK: THE END, it's post-apocalyptic. And like HULK: THE END it's a one-shot and not a miniseries. And like HULK: THE END it's searingly black-hearted. Future writers, please then use the following checklist in cooking up your proposals:
- Post-apocalyptic setting?
- One-shot format?
- Grim as hell?
You're done!
PUNISHER: THE END opens with typical Garth Ennis punch: a prison warden ordering his few remaining guards to head to the armory, break out rifles and ammo...and execute every last prisoner in the place. This is infamous New York prison, Sing-Sing, and the time is maybe a decade or two from today. It's a world where nuclear tensions are on the brink of exploding, and as the warden explains, "...we can't have murderers and dope-dealers running lose in an atomic wasteland, that would just plain be untidy." Of course, one of those prisoners just happens to be an aged Frank Castle, the vigilante once known as The Punisher. When a nuke's electromagnetic pulse knocks out the power while the guards go about their executioner duties...guess who's loose for one last mission?
Ennis only touches briedly on how the world came to the brink, but a condemnation of U.S. military aggression is explicit. Castle spells it out to a fellow survivor:
"Iraq was one thing. North Korea. Even Pakistan. You shout war on terror at the Chinese and they laugh so hard the world blows up in your face. That's the trouble with a war you never want to end."
If you find yourself sympatico with the fears underlying Ennis' admittedly paranoid scenario then you're likely to enjoy this story, one that asks: is there any justice left for The Punisher to serve when human society has gone the way of the dinosaur? And if you think Ennis is just a pinko reactionary, well, you still might enjoy this. It's first and foremost a riveting yarn, one that may remind readers who didn't grow up with Cold War fears that a nuclear apocalypse is still the scariest bogeyman imaginable. And artist Richard Corben, no stranger to such settings, having adapted Harlan Ellison's "A Boy and His Dog" to comics, brings it to life with such detail that the visuals alone are a powerhouse. Corben's characters are wonderfully three-dimensional freaks. Every crack and sore from radiation tissue damage is masterfully etched by hard shadows on their exaggerated faces, but it's the scenery that truly stuns. Backed by the rusty, jaundiced tones of talented colorist Lee Roughridge, Corben gives us highways of skeleton-filled cars, snowstorms of soot, and one singularly elaborate double-page splash of a decimated New York City. It's as detailed as any comic art you'll ever see, and likely to elicit an emotional reaction even without Ennis's words.
Unfortunately that reaction is clinical depression, so be careful reading this book if you keep razors in the house.
Personally, I very enjoyed seeing Marvel's most uncompromising character revealed through the most uncompromising setting imagineable. Clearly we're in the territory of character-defining extremes here, which is just the road these "The End" one-shots should be travelling. To reveal much of the plot is to spoil the piece, but it kicks off a year after the nuclear devastation as Frank and a single other survivor emerge from a fallout shelter built under Sing-Sing in the '50s. Frank estimates they can survive, at best, 72 hours above ground, but he does have a task to complete and it involves trekking across those scorched Corben wastelands.
Some Punisher fans may be disappointed at the lack of traditional gunplay in this story, at the lack of a skull shirt on Frank, maybe even at the fact that Frank's code-name, "The Punisher," isn't spoken once in the story. And yet it IS a consummate Punisher tale, a nihilistic finale for a character who might've begun as a knock-off of Bronson and Eastwood, but became, as befits a Marvel character, an even purer fantasy of vigilantism taken to its most extreme. As such, the characterization for Frank is Ennis' typically minimalist vision of him, but it's pure in that minimalism. It makes the turn of events of the last few pages believable, as over-the-top as it is. I found the procedings twistedly cathartic, and the last two pages surprisingly moving. It's a dark but pleasant fantasy to imagine that in the worst situation that could ever come to pass, a man like Frank Castle might exact a final, uncompromising justice no matter what the cost to his soul.
With any luck, Marvel will tag a reprint of this story onto the first PUNISHER trade collecting the Marvel MAX relaunch, but given that HULK: THE END has languished without a reprint, you might be wise to snap this one-shot up now. Just be sure you're in a dark mood before you sit down for the read – you'll definitely be in one by the time you're done.
AVENGERS/THUNDERBOLTS #2 (of 6)
Kurt Busiek & Fabian Nicieza: Writers
Barry Kitson: Artist
Marvel Comics: Publisher
Vroom Socko: @$$hole's Most Wanted
When I reviewed the first issue of this series, I said it was off to a slow, yet good start. Now the second issue is out, and the story is going strong, but it's still going slow as well. The thing is, it's a good kind of slow. It's Hitchcock slow. An explosive finale is all but assured; the first issue was the Zippo sparking to life, and with chapter two the fuse has been lit. The question now is how short is the fuse, and where's the dynamite at.
Oh, don't get me wrong. There's action to be had in this issue. The Avengers have tracked down the Cobalt Man to a reactor in Minnesota, where he's about to suffer a meltdown. The problem is the Avengers have no idea how to handle the situation. But the Thunderbolts do, and since they need a nuclear engineer for their little "Save" The World project…
I'm not sure what I enjoyed the most out of this installment. There's the stare-down between Cap and Zemo. The moment where the T-Bolts succeed in stealing the Avengers thunder (I know, it's a terrible pun. So sue me. I like terrible puns.) There's Jarvis, who, when asked by Hawkeye for an opinion, says that there's no way in Hell he'd trust the people who almost beat him to death and blinded him in one eye. There's Kitson's art, especially the aforementioned stare-down, as well as the amazing looking final page. And then there's the twist at the end.
Man alive, the twist at the end. THUNDERBOLTS made its name on twist endings, and this one is right up there with the best of 'em. Sure, Busiek and Nicieza tipped their hand a little early on this one, but it didn't lessen the impact. The way they foreshadowed that final page, especially with their captioning of the story, was masterful. In fact, there's one caption that's the absolute essence of what comics as a medium can do in ways other storytelling mediums cannot. I have no intention of spoiling this issue for anybody, so I'll only tell you where to find this section. On page fifteen, when Hawkeye slaps Iron Man on the back of the head, just look at the captions for that panel and the next one. They're the single best use of caption boxes I've ever seen, and the best argument for internal narration you'll ever find. Just look at the way the sentence is laid out. It's a wonderful piece of writing.
I'll admit, this story isn't going to appeal to everyone. If you never read the original run on THUNDERBOLTS, you might as well take a pass on this. But everyone else, especially longtime fans of both Busiek and Nicieza, (I can't be the only one,) are going to have a blast. Let me put it to you another way: This past week, I read ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN, and put it down thinking it was an amusing, dramatic, and fun piece of work. I read SUPREME POWER, and put it down thinking it continues to be the best damn book Marvel publishes. But when I read AVENGERS/THUNDERBOLTS, I didn't put it down until I'd reread it two more times. The fuse is burning on this one, and when it explodes, I'm going to be there to see it all.
ENGINEHEAD #1
Writer: Joe Kelly
Art: Ted McKeever
Colors: Chris Chuckry
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
DC Comics never fails to impress me. The company has put out at least one interesting new series a year for as long as I can remember. One that is different. One that breaks the mold and shows us all that there is still a little life left in the super hero genre. One that develops a dedicated set of followers, but usually not enough to keep the series around for more than eight to twelve issues. Books like AZTEK, MAJOR BUMMER, XERO, CHRONOS, VEXT, and the last DOOM PATROL series come to mind as I think back on books that had so much potential, but were passed over by readers who preferred to avoid taking a chance with something new, resulting in an unfortunate and way too early cancellation. I write this extended eulogy because it would be a shame for this to happen to DC's latest series to break the mold, ENGINEHEAD.
ENGINEHEAD #1 is an extremely intelligent, well written, and beautifully rendered masterpiece filled to the brim of the brim with surreality, nihilism, and just the tiniest splash of hope. Reminiscent of Joe Kelly's earlier work, ATOMIC KAFKA, we follow a man simply known as The Mechanic and his cyborg monkey assistant, Grease Monkey, as they attempt to save the world from destroying itself. Their plan involves desperation, sacrifice, and a whole lotta machinery. We start out with a big budget sequence involving a satellite falling apart in orbit and crashing to the earth below. In captions are parts of the Mechanic's recruitment speech; a speech that you just know has been practiced, rehearsed, delivered, and turned down many, many times. Check it out:
"When did you realize that something was not right? Was it early on in life, when the road ahead looked pitted and broken? Later, when wisdom opened your third eye wide enough to see there was no road at all?…When your best laid plans for world domination—protecting and serving—the perfect bake sale—a cure for cancer—finding true love—all fell apart? What if I told you that it was not just you? What if I told you the rest of the world is falling apart, too? Would that make you feel any better or worse? What if I told you that you could still do something about it?"
Pretty cool, eh? Makes me want to sacrifice my life for a greater good. The Mechanic is like many great men; full of ideas, dreams and hopes, but worn down by a cynical and cowardly reality. He knows there are others like him out there and sets out to make a difference. With this opening sequence, Kelly sets the stage for a tale that I found to be truly unique. And that's hard to come by these days in comics.
The story proceeds to jump between The Mechanic's recruitment drive and the ho-hum day of one, Ford Corrado; a down and out schmoe and former super villain named Jackhammer. With these two characters, Kelly places us firmly in a world that is both more real and surreal than most books that take place in the DCU. And it stars some obscure characters that you may or may not know. Professor Hamilton from the Superman books is here as are forgotten villains; JLA's corkscrew headed foe Brainstorm, Rosie the Riviter of the Demolition Crew, and Wonder Woman's Dr. Cyber. The big surprise is the appearance of Automan, who resembles the Doom Patrol's Cliff Steele, only he's crankier and pre-dates Steele by quite a few years in comics continuity. Not all of these characters get to shine, but hey, it's only the first issue. What do you expect? What we do get is some great character bits from Automan, Grease Monkey, and Ford's parole officer, and a truly classic exchange between the Mechanic and Metal Man, Tin; who delivers one of the coolest lines in the book as he cowers away from the Mechanic's offer.
"T-t-tin cries when you bend it. Do you know that?…I-it's the sound of fear."
This is definitely not a book for the kiddies. There is sex, violence, sexual violence, violent sex and all forms of depravity dripping from every page of this book. It's not explicit, but it just makes you feel a bit wormy after reading it. A lot of that has to do with the art. Usually, we @$$holes talk up the story and mention the art as a side note towards the end. This is not the case here. ENGINEHEAD's story is strong, but it's Ted McKeever's art that places this series as a must buy in my book. There is no one out there like Ted McKeever in comics. His art is distinct in a profession where copycat artists copy copycat artists. Ted McKeever's panels are to art as what Tom Waits' songs are to music or David Lynch's ERASERHEAD is to cinema. Some may be turned off by McKeever's surreal appoach, but for those like me, who have followed Ted since his days as an artist on EPIC's short lived HELLRAISER series, this is the project we've been waiting for. It's Ted McKeever drawing super heroes and cyborg monkeys and gigantic robots. But it's not just any old heroes, monkeys and robots. It's sick and twisted, warped and wretched, filthy and foul versions of heroes, monkeys, and robots.
McKeever's art makes you want to take a bath after seeing it. It's dirty. Sure his panels are a bit rough around the edges and sometimes you have to look at it a bit to understand what is and who is what and where, but it is always original and thought provoking and soulful and dingy and it makes you feel icky, but a good type of icky. The kind of icky that makes you wince and smile at the same time. And then you feel bad for smiling, but then you just say "Fuck it!" and smile anyway because you've already been corrupted by it and it feels too damn good.
Convention is not something you will find in this book. Both the art and the storytelling is unlike anything out there. It's art and it pushes both your senses of reality and what one would think is normal in comics. ENGINEHEAD is original and fun. It's got obscure characters spouting nonsensities and poignancies. I was blown away with the first issue. I usually fly through books, but this one I sat with and read it over and over; chewing up in the labyrinthine storyline and soaking in the beautiful mess of panels. So take a chance with ENGINEHEAD #1. Don't let it fall into obscurity with AZTEK, MAJOR BUMMER, and XERO. Check out something truly original for a change.
ROBIN #124
Written by Bill Willingham
Pencils by Francisco Rodriguez de la Fuente
Inks by Aaron Sowd
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
As you can tell by the cover Robin has been UNMASKED!
Always a sucker for sensationalism, I only held out for a week or so before I broke down and bought this one. I'd also heard on the internet that it'd been "sold out at DC," and always a sucker for hamfisted DC p.r., that only sweetened the deal. And yeah, I wanted to see what Bill "I write FABLES" Willingham and all his Vertigo cred was doing with the title. So here I am with a quick little review.
So who has UNMASKED Robin?
His parents. Mom and Dad do a little parental snooping, and happen into Tim Drake's secret stash of Robin costumes and secret journals. Understandably, his Dad freaks out.
And perhaps this comes at the right time: Tim's heart just doesn't seem to be into being Robin these days. He blames himself for a villain's death, and carries the guilt around like luggage. He phones in his fight training, and Batman gives him a hard time. While lunching with his girlfriend Spoiler, Tim lets loose with that classic (chronic?) superhero lament about not having a conventional lifestyle. And by now, Robin should be getting all that hate mail I sent him about what a little punk he is in TEEN TITANS. Maybe it is time to move on, Tim.
Meanwhile, his father decides to take up matters with the now also-UNMASKED Bruce Wayne. What a mess.
And I liked it. I'm not doing handstands, but I was entertained. I don't think I've ever seen a situation where a secret identity has been exposed on these terms, and that alone is enough to keep me curious. Most of us already know that Batman will be getting a new, female, blonde Robin soon enough (undoubtedly it will be Spoiler), so we know the direction that things are headed. But for me, the uninitiated Robin fan, it seems that the route might be interesting on the way there. Nothing too much deeper than that, but I think that's deep enough.
De La Fuente's art was durable enough, reminding me a bit of Leonard Kirk. No real complaints there.
At the end of #124, Tim's Dad tries to get rough with Bruce Wayne, and I can't help thinking "Boy is this guy making a mistake." I mean he's upset, sure, but do you really want to take on Batman like that? That's what lawyers are for. In any case, litigation or not, I look forward to see how things turn out in the next issue.
B.P.R.D. – PLAGUE OF FROGS #1 & #2
Writer: Mike Mignola
Artist: Guy Davis
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
I caught that Hellboy movie the other day and it didn't do a lot for me. It did, however, have the pleasant side effect of reinvigorating my interest in HELLBOY's quirkier, scarier, decidedly less Hollywood comic book incarnation. I'd been onboard the comics since Hellboy made his "kinda sorta" debut in John Byrne's NEXT MEN, but had hit a little burnout and stopped reading 'em for a few years. And, y'know, I don't regret the break. Sometimes you need these things, and let's be wholly truthful here - Hellboy comics do get a little repetitive over time.
Happily, it turns out that returning to 'em after a hiatus is its own pleasure.
I decided to start with the latest B.P.R.D. miniseries. I was a little hazy on some of the team members (like Johann, the cool-looking ectoplasmic guy in the containment suit), but I knew the basics - that the B.P.R.D. was basically a more kick-ass and monster-staffed version of THE X-FILES - and recognized the frog-creatures from the first Hellboy story, "Seed of Destruction." The mini's even new-reader friendly; there's really nothing one can't pick up from context. Hellboy himself isn't in this mini, though, having apparently stormed off from the Bureau for the immediate future. But I didn't miss the big lug too much. As the editor notes on the letters page, Mike Mignola originally intended HELLBOY to be a full-fledged team book. No surprise, then, that it works terrifically as such. It still "feels" Hellboy-ish, what with Hellboy creator Mike Mignola at the writing helm, and I really enjoyed seeing the other B.P.R.D. misfits revealed on their own, not as foils for Hellboy's charismatic presence.
Like most Hellboy stories, A PLAGUE OF FROGS is structured around an occult mystery. It kicks off with a violent incident at a B.P.R.D. facility housing a rapidly growing chunk of...er...fungus. Try not to notice that the giant thing is decidedly phallic in design – just think "Lovecraftian". In a neat bit of continuity, we learn that it was taken from the cursed Cavendish mansion that played a role in "Seed of Destruction." Apparently the B.P.R.D. has been running follow-up investigations on the ruins of the place every six months since that incident, and while they've found nothing in ten years (huh – HELLBOY comics take place in real time? Kinda neat), the most recent visit turned up the tiiiiiniest fragment of fungus. Which they then cultivated, under what was thought to be safe conditions. Sh'yeah right. As one B.P.R.D. official attempts to justify it, "...from a scientific standpoint...the whole growing thing seemed like a good idea at the time."
"Hindsight is, of course, 20/20," he adds. Gotta love the book's wry sense of humor.
And indeed, one visit from a homicidal/suicidal, cult-programmed scientist later and it's all gone to hell. Men are dead, the fungus has apparently tunneled out, and the facility is quarantined. Our mission team: Abe Sapiens, resident fish-man; Liz Sherman, pyrokinetic chick who's doesn't have a tacked-on romance with Hellboy in the comics (thank god); the Frankenstein Monster-esque Roger the Homunculus (I really like this guy); the aforementioned ectoplasm-in-a-containment-suit, Johann; and Kate – she just seems to be a normal (relatively speaking) B.P.R.D. investigator, no gills or pseudopods.
Half the appeal of HELLBOY comics has always been the artwork, and unsung but brilliant artist Guy Davis lives up to the tradition. I know it's borderline sacrilege, but I actually like his stuff over Mignola's work at the moment. His art is ultra-detailed and there's not a damn thing he can't draw with confidence, but I think it's the worn, desiccated look he drapes everything in that makes his work sing. His art has texture and age, and when our team's investigation takes them to a deserted dockside community in Michigan, you'll all but feel the rust and peeling paint, taste the salt air coming off the lake. I also have to credit colorist Dave Stewart almost as co-artist for his contributions. He's got Eisner awards under his belt, he's a regular colorist on HELLBOY, and he's also currently wowing folks with his work on Dark Horse's new CONAN series. His work here has a rich, painterly quality to it, and if it's done on computer he's fooled me. Just look at the subtleties of this simple scene - the gritty, Jersey atmosphere to the compound, the shaft of sunlight through the window, the texture to the walls. When the dockside scenes show up in the second issue, I think both Stewart and Davis are turning in some of their all-time best.
Overall, while the story dabbles in light moments and occasional incidents of explosive action, there's a sense of foreboding that overwhelms them – appropriately so. It's what I was missing in the movie, that genuine sense of danger, even fear, as if we might lose one of our leads at any given moment. Adding to the pall is Abe's troubling dream of scores of corpses tumbling through the sea into a deep trench, with himself tumbling after them. Oh man, I don't want Abe to get killed! He's the cool undersea guy that Aquaman could never be!
If there's a criticism to be given, it's the same criticism one might levy against any Hellboy-related project: it's all a bit slight. There's an immediate, visceral caring for the leads – appealing, the lot of 'em – and the series' always fascinating blend of folklore, Lovecraftianisms, and superhero-style action set pieces...but no great depth or innovation to the tale, which is essentially just another adventure for the team. Unless Abe dies, and he better not.
On the other hand, as one letter writer in the first issue astutely notes of pulp characters – part of their very appeal is that they don't really change (think Indy Jones, Doc Savage, James Bond), so maybe it's actually a welcome treat to have a book that's not mired in character evolution – that's content simply to provide the reader with some good, old-fashioned thrills and chills with decidedly modern production values.
It's working quite spectacularly for me, in any case.
Cheap Shots!
UNCANNY X-MEN #442/ NEW X-MEN #155 - What do these two books have in common other than the fact that they feature the ongoing adventures of everyone's favorite mutants? Well, both are written by Chuck Austen. Both contain art by Salvador Larroca. And both reek of three kinds of ass. I don't know what kind of Faustian deal Austen has made to be held in such high regard at Marvel to write so many of its premiere titles, but those titles will not be so lauded if they continue to be helmed by hacks of this hack-itude. In UNCANNY, Wolverine and Charles Xavier go to Genosha to lay Magneto's body to rest. This is another word balloon filled exercise in inaction and bad dialog. Wolvie goes berserker, levels a giant statue of Magneto, and slices off Toad's tongue, but the sheer talkiness of it all saps any interest we may have once had for the characters. Moving on to NEW X-MEN, and we have more of the same except our cast is smaller and even less occurs in the form of excitement. I understand the character bits and the calms between the storms are what make the action in these stories pop, but in Austen's case, the stories are pop-free and the calm will only come when he stops writing comics for good. To top it all off, the art in both books looks hastily drawn and unfitting with the computerized hues that color it. I've seen some spectacular work from Salvador Larroca, but this ain't it. Marvel must really want their flagship titles to fail miserably in an attempt to justify the Ultimization of their entire line if this is the type of dreck they're trying to pass off as entertainment. - Ambush Bug
ALPHA FLIGHT #2 - Flame me, flog me, and call me Florence for it, but I'm kind of digging this book. Scott Lobdell has created some interesting characters in this new Flight. Fans of the original team may be disappointed, but in and of itself, the book is kind of kooky, kind of fun, and made me giggle quite a bit. I especially like the dynamic between Nemesis (a sword-swinging agent of anarchy who promises Sasquatch that she will kill everyone on the team the first chance she gets) and the wide-eyed optimism of Major Mapleleaf (think the JLI's Captain Marvel, except he's a super-powered Canadian Mountie with a horse named Thunder). I don't like the fact that they started this series out with a six-parter, but the first page (offering a reverse angled view of the splash intro page from last issue complete with backwards word balloons) is pretty clever. Your socks won't fly off reading this one, but it is worth a few bucks and a chuckle. - Ambush Bug
HAWKEYE #6 - For what it's worth, this was a fun story. This concluding
chapter even featured one cool as hell concept: Hawkeye versus dozens of
archers. It also capped off the initial arc quite nicely. If there's a
problem it's that the story doesn't feel like the beginning of an ongoing
book, but more like a miniseries. Oh well, since the book's cancelled after
issue #8, it might as well have been. - Vroom Socko.
LOBO UNBOUND #6 - In this issue, Lobo gets circumcised. That is about as classy as it gets here, folks. This issue provides a useless ending to an often disgusting, utterly shameless, and truly lackluster miniseries. Lobo kills everyone. Bill O'Reilly's head explodes. And Ambush Bug makes an appearance that seals the fact that Keith Giffen needs to forget about the Main Man and give the Bug another shot. Although, I might be a bit biased. Once again, Giffen has his characters comment on the lameness of the issue in our hands. Unfortunately, by that time, we already know this because we've bought and read it ourselves. Just because Giffen writes his characters as recognizing the ass-suckery of the story doesn't mean that he can be forgiven for it. Humility can only make up for so much. I'm still out my $2.95 American. - Ambush Bug
GHOSTBUSTERS: LEGION #1 - Nostalgia-driven or not, I think something really fun could be done with a Ghostbusters title with, say, Gail Simone at the helm. The comic we actually got, though, while far from a failure, fails to wow. Maybe it's just the first issue trying to get us settled in, but the jokes all felt like stale re-hashes of familiar movie gags to me – you know, kind of like the entirety of GHOSTBUSTERS II. On the plus side, Steve Kurth's art is pretty nice, the coloring quite good, and there's not a Bobby Brown cameo in sight. Probably worth a look for you hardcore Ghostbusters fans, but keep those expectations moderate. – Cormorant
SUPREME POWER #9 - What more can I say? This is the best comic series out right now. Every issue builds from the last with logic and intensity. Every single issue is oozing with innovative characters and pulse-pounding plot developments. I feel full after reading each and every issue and can't wait for the next serving. It's the Chinese food of comics. Straczynski and Frank are constructing a modern masterpiece; a highmark in the super hero genre last set by THE WATCHMEN. In this issue, Hyperion confronts the government officials that have been lying to him all of his life. For the first time, you see how powerful and how scary Hyperion truly is. And the ending? Spoooooooooky. - Ambush Bug
THE MONOLITH #3 - Dang. I really wanted to like this book. Even gave the first issue a pretty nice review a few months back. Alas, subsequent issues have proven disappointing. The idea's still strong – screwed-up street girl finds an unlikely protector in a resurrected Jewish Golem – but Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Grey's moment-to-moment writing doesn't sell the street grittiness. Their lowlifes are pretty rough, yeah, but there's something about the dialogue that's just a touch too hokey, like it might've come from the mohawked thugs of a '70s/'80s Marvel comic. Has Bendis spoiled me on dialogue realism? Maybe. –Cormorant
BIRTHRIGHT #9 - Momentum, finally! Superman decides to have it out face to face with Luthor regarding Luthor's highly effective anti-Superman smear campaign. But Superman gets more than he bargained for, finding out for the first time that his home planet was blown to smithereens -- while Lex is loving every minute as he tells him. It was a great moment, Yu's art may have undercut Superman's reaction (he looked a little wooden); but Lex's beaming revelry was right on. You have to admit, a burn like that only comes along so often. Hopefully Waid, et. al. can build on the energy created in this issue and build to a satisfying climax. - VI
WOLVERINE #13 - The very first MARVEL KNIGHTS WOLVERINE and I was all ready with the line, "same shit, different department." But in this case, my expectations were wrong. Greg Rucka makes up for the last year of snoozers on this title with a little mystery involving our hero, a surviving member of the Weapon X program, and longtime Wolvie nemesis, Sabretooth. I liked this issue's premise, teaming up two bitter enemies to hunt a common prize. I'll be keeping my eye on this title to see if the payoff is as good as the setup. Nice Darick Robertson art too. I guess I'll have to save my "same shit" line for the MK HULK. - Ambush Bug
