Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
I was about to post this story when this e-mail came in:
Here's the link to download the new stepford wives trailer. The makeup and whatever used for Bette Midler's tranformation must be from God- she looks completely different- Jon lovitz sounds funny too- not his usual voice we all know. I think the trailer looks good- and the film should be great. Is does look a little glossy- very hollywood and all- but I'm a stepford loon- and will watch basically any reimagining of the stepford story (even Donna Mills Stepford Husbands- truly terrible though). I can't wait!
SO DOWNLOAD THE TRAILER RIGHT HERE!!
I dunno. I thought the trailer was okay. Not great, but okay. And maybe it’ll turn out to be great. But today’s reviewer... well... see for yourself... and watch out for the huge spoiler if you want to see the film fresh:
Hello Harry,
This is my first time writing but I have been reading for many years and have also read your book. You can call me Wil Possum and if you know who that is, I will be quite impressed.
Anyway, just got back from an advanced screening ofThe Stepford Wives. I just read the other review on your site about this film and he said that the host claimed that that audience was the first to see this movie. Well, predictably the host of mine said the same thing to us.
Frank Oz and Scott Rudin were in attendence in the theater amonst a handful of other Hollywood types. They stood out like sore thumbs amongst the crowd made of up of mainly frumpy, annoying housewives and overweight girls wearing belly shirts. Yes it was a weird group. It was more of a PTA meeting that a movie.
Let me start off by saying that I really liked the original Stepford Wives and hoped for the best but something didn't feel quite right to me when it was explained that this film is a dark comedy.
Well, I had no idea what I was in for could possibly be the worst film that I've seen in years. And I've seen many.
A brief synopsis is that this crazy world appears to be run by women with Nicole Kidman being queen, man-hating bitch. She's the president of a network that could pass for Lifetime on steroids with the sensibilty of USA Network or SPIKE TV. So right off the bat she's a hateable character. For reasons not worth explaining she is fired and has a nervous breakdown.
So predictably her husband, Matthew Broderick takes her away from the big bad city to the suburbs. Meet the town of Stepford where all the houses are just as perfect as the wives.
Already a big difference other than the comedic aspect is that Nicole Kidman is not someone you want to see win while Matther Broderick is the nice but nerdy husband neglected for years. He makes a point that they haven't had sex in a year. But in order to make him edgier they create the fact that he cheated on her with her secretery. I guess they want to be sure to piss off the women in the audience.
Well it turns out that all the men of Stepford are weaklings who married powerful women and obviously couldn't handle being beneath them. This was even said in plain English for those who can't read between the lines.
Anyway it loosely follows the original's pace other than the fact that there is a gay couple and many anti-Republican comments. Liberal politics afoot in the Stepford of 04!
At some point Kidman apparently is changed and I exhaled thinking that maybe just maybe they did something right with this travesty only to find out that she and Broderick fooled the nerds and ruined Stepford for them to boot. The rationale is stupid and so is the fact that all the women turned into Rosey from the Jetsons. The worst example is Better Midler who transforms into a lawn mower. At that point I had to force myself not to leave just so I could trash it on the questionnaire.
In the miserable final ending the men have become the half robot/half human wives slaves'. Ho-hum giggle giggle.
I hope this movie bombs hard for all the reasons I stated above but also for ruining a poignant, uncomfortable 70's film and making an OXYGEN TV movie with a few special effects.
As myself and my wife, who also hated it, were walking out past the Hollywood types a security guard turned to me and asked me how I liked it. My wife said, "Don't ask" while I just shook my head. His only comment in his Spanish accent was, "Who would want to see a movie like that?" My answer was, "I don't know man. I don't know".
Wil Possum out!
Almost as soon as I posted this story, another review came in, as if in response. Here's that letter:
I have to disagree with Mr. Possum. “Stepford Wives” wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t even the worst film I’ve seen this month, let alone this year. Kidman was really strong, and Midler was about the best she’s ever been. (I should say I can only take her in small doses, and this seemed to be just the right amount). I can’t even imagine working up the level of disdain for this film that this guy just did. It’s an entertaining film with decent-to-good comic performances and about a half-dozen big laughs. It’s not nearly as dark as the original, but sexual politics have changed in the last 30 years, so it doesn’t really need to be.
If I did have a criticism, it’s that the film can’t seem to stick to the go-for-broke attitude that it sometimes hints at, but never reaches. Right at the opening, with Kidman presenting her new slate of shows for her network, it hedges its bets. The shows are all reality program parodies. The premises of each: Divorce Court (where the parents have to compete for the affection of their children), Balance of Power (a quiz show where men and women just kind of one-up each other) and “I Can Do Better” (“Temptation Island”, where one married couple spends a week apart, with prostitutes). The set-up is funny, but the breakdown turns out to have less teeth than the TV show parodies in “Stay Tuned”. Seriously.
The problem is obvious: the parodies don’t even go as far as the shows being parodied. The film looks like it’s aiming for a PG-13. If it wanted to be really cutting, it’d have to go for an “R”. In the age of internet porn, you’d think they could have found more provocative targets in the war of the sexes. Instead it goes right to what it views as the heart of it: men are afraid of Martha Stewart. Not.
On the other hand, the cast: Midler, Kidman, Walken & Glenn Close all give entertaining performances. Broderick & Lovitz are underused. The gay pal of Kidman is very funny. Even Faith Hill does well with what she’s given. The script is mild, the direction is slick and the ending (obviously tacked on even if you haven’t seen the original) is amusing enough thanks to a fairly high-octane freak-out from Glenn Close.
I think what Possum doesn’t like is not so much the new movie as the new century.
Please feel free to call me Iron Man.
Like I said... I dunno. Paul Rudnick can be a funny man, but he’s also the screenwriter of IN & OUT and MARCI X, so he’s been responsible for more than his fair share of pain in the past. We’ll see this summer...
"Moriarty" out.
