Ok folks, Harry here... I'd like to warn you. The winner of the Gollum contest is one of the single sexiest images, you'll have ever seen in your life. I'm talking HOT! I decided to put this up as soon as possible, so that you good folks can... well get the motor running for VALENTINE'S DAY which is coming right up!
This contest has been deliriously fun at my end. I got photos of people eating the weirdest stuff. A fave, was a woman... naked... on all fours... eating catfood from her floor. While immensely entertaining, humiliating and filled with an awesome degree of degradation... I don't believe Gollum would particularly care for catfood. In fact, I think he'd throw it away in utter disgust. He likes it raw and wiggly. I had folks eating worms, fish, human leg and they all seemed to love it. I had folks ranging from a 6 year old girl to a 63 year old man. Again, I love what I do!
To start off with, I wanted to show y'all the 6 year old girl. She wasn't one of the two winners I had picked. She had an enormous sentimental factor going, but I'm not really sure what she has in her mouth... and I just couldn't keep staring at a 6 year old girl's mouth trying to figure out what the hell she was gnawing on, it felt indecent. HOWEVER, I had to share. She comes from Columbia, Missouri and here is her letter to me...
My name is Catherine Harris and I'm 6 years old. Gollum used to scare me, but now I think he's really cool. I was so happy when my mom saw this contest. I want to be more like Gollum -- I even eat Gollum food!
Thanks for running this contest. My mom and I had a lot of fun making Gollum food and taking lots of pictures.
The runner up in the contest did a pretty great job. He wins the 2nd prize that was the GOLLUM statue that's the companion piece for the Smeagol in the box for the TWO TOWERS Expanded Edition Set! The look of the photo was the most ANDREW LESNIE looking... it had the right *look* in terms of professionalism. The mouth full of what looks like flatworms and then the cute bunny rabbit with the "x" over the eye made me giggle for quite some time. In all... I was happy with this photo and felt for a while that it was going to be the winner. This came from Wayne Ho of Fremont, California.
Ok... now for the winner. This man is a god. I have used his photo to get 3 University of Texas Freshman Cheerleaders to go to bed with me, simply because... after they saw it, they needed IMMEDIATE SATISFACTION! When people ask if there are beautiful geeks, I only need to show them the photo below. look at the blush to his entire body. The animalistic ferocity in his eyes. The hunger and furor with which his teeth rip into the still wiggling body of a live octopus, whilst clutching that fish in his other meaty fist! That is the look of Gollum. Read what he sent me:
Hi Harry,
I hope I made the deadline. I enjoy AintItCoolNews on a regular basis.
I am a graphic designer and Sunday School teacher in Rochester, New York.
I love my wife very much and I want to win the Gollum bust for her for
Valentine's Day/Upcoming Anniversary. She loves LotR and does an
awesome Gollum voice.
To capture the true essence of Gollum, I realized that I needed to dress
up as Gollum and sit in the most disgusting stream in Rochester (just
twenty feet from the sewage treatment plant) in freezing temperatures.
I realized I needed to get the most horrible raw thing available to me
-- raw octopus. It was in fact raw and wriggling. It was the nastiest
thing I have ever put in my mouth.
Did I mention I love my wife and I want to win the Gollum bust for her?
I have never done anything this crazy or disgusting before and probably
never will again. My kids are keeping away from me because I smell so
horrible.
I must shower. I hope I don't throw up now.
I have embarrassed myself for the love of a beautiful woman.
Thank you for considering my entry.
Gollumishously yours,
Jeremy S
