Ryuhei Kitamura to direct Man In Suit GODZILLA MOOBIE !!!!!''''!'!'!'!

Hey Harry,  

Long time reader, big fan, blah blah... but I've never contributed because the reviews on your site are what remind me I've seen that damn movie!  So as I haven't seen this up yet, I'm gonna slap you with it.  

The film is called Azumi and it's directed by Ryuhei Kitamra, the same guy who gave us Versus.  It's a samurai pic based on a manga of the same name and it sure as hell plays out like one.  After the death of Azumi's mother, and her rescue by a wandering samurai, we flash forward about 10 years or so, where a band of 10 assassins are running through the forest slashing at each other.  It is blaringly obvious from the beginning that these actors don't have a damn clue how to use their weapons in real life and even the "tumbling over that tree root" looks choreographed.  This isn't Jackie Chan or Crouching Tiger sort of action, but kinda like a bunch of old people swinging their canes and trying not to hit each other.  

After that training exercise we are introduced to Azumi and her 9 boy toys around a cheerful meal.  Before my disappointment in the film forced me to turn it off, I was hooked by the youngins' final test.  (SPOILER)  The master tells them to pair up with their best friend.  Then he tells them to kill their partner to prove they're ready.  (END SPOILER)  I'm sure I've seen this plot device in another movie before, but I didn't see it coming here.  I was surprised how easily it reeled me back in, considering the impression I had gotten so far.  

And that's when I realized: this is a popcorn flick.  The story is there simply to link the action sequences.  I just didn't seem to care about their mission to kill the warlords, or the love story between one of the assassins and a traveling girl because I knew it was just a device to show me some flash and sizzle later.  It's style over substance, and that's ok when it's this easy to watch.  And it's not just eye candy, its freakin cake and cream puffs.  The spraying blood, the poses the characters hold after a fatal strike, it's all here.  I had seen some fairly recent films like Suicide Club and Audition and remembered how ugly some of the picture quality was.  Don't get me wrong, those films wouldn't be the same without the gritty dark look, but clarity is lost.  This film doesn't look like it's from the 70's.  I loved the composition here, the colors are rich, picture is clear, and the whole thing feels anime-ishly artistic.  

Which is basically what this is.  It's a live action anime.  I'm not talking "influenced" by anime, like the Matrix.  I'm talking about cookie-cutter bad guys like the overly feminine samurai dressed in white who carries a rose and his monkey-man companion.  The cool ninja dude who jumps in here and there.  The overly emotional deaths of each character.  Gravity defying leaps, and buckets of blood.  Even the sound design you've heard before if you've seen Samurai X or Ninja Scroll.  It's those freakin loud clangs and slashes that sound so goddamn tough that carry some of the painfully obvious fight scenes.  But hey, with all its faults, this is just what any Fast and Furious or Charlie's Angels is: fucking fun.  

And once that sinks in, its easy to forgive.  Especially since, when it's cool, its pretty damn cool.  Like the climactic scene where Azumi has to hack through about 100 generic bad guys to save her master.  This final scene was what Kill Bill wanted to be.    And the gore is insanely abundant, with an on-screen body count that I think has yet to be matched.  Tarantino's style is not so cheesy as to use a camera spinning above and below the characters as they fight on a plank, but come on, its cool!  So for that reason it gets my recommendation.  Watch Ran if you want an epic, and see Taboo if you want an intimate story with bad ass swordplay, but check this out if you feel like some ass kicking good times.  

eff you see kay the emm pee double A.