Father Geek here with Latauro's first column of the new year...

Sell all my Warner Brothers stock! I have an inside tip that Bugs Bunny's about to die!

AICN-DOWNUNDER

Here it is: the first time I have to write "2004". It's always a strange moment, isn't it? Sometime in January, when you're signing your name and you have to date it underneath, that small pause where you have to remember it's a new year.

I've just returned from many sun-kissed adventures across the land, and I'm back anew. Also managed to get a lot of catching up done in regards to films I've missed. Did 28 DAYS LATER and REIGN OF FIRE back-to-back, and I'm now convinced that if the world ends tomorrow, London will have something to do with it.

I still have some days of down-time to go, and plan to spend them obsessing over how amazing my new DVDs of SINGIN' IN THE RAIN and GLEN OR GLENDA are, and how laughably sucky the fifth season of "Dawson's Creek" is.

In the meantime, happy new year. Gentlemen - start your trolling!

NEWS

* Since the wrap of PETER PAN (now a distant memory), no massive overseas productions have been using the facilities, leaving many local crewpersons out of work. Hopefully things will pick up soon with Rob Cohen's STEALTH about to begin production in Sydney. The film stars Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel and Jamie Foxx.

* Rock on over to the site www.strangebedfellows.com.au for a look at the teaser for the film. STRANGE BEDFELLOWS is about two very straight men living in an Australian town who pretend to be gay for the tax benefits. It "stars" Paul Hogan (the treated leather from the CROCODILE DUNDEE movies), Michael Caton (THE CASTLE) and Pete Postlethwaite (lotsa stuff).

AWARDS AND FESTIVALS

TASCAPE

If you're one of the many readers who waits week after week for "Farscape" convention news, this is your lucky column. January 16-18 will see TaScape held at the Sands Hotel in Marouba, Sydney. The cast and crew of the show have been invited to attend, and have done in the past (although no guarantees are made). For more info, go to www.magicmonster.com/FAM and look under "Events".

GLOBAL PEACE FILM FESTIVAL

The US-based festival has awarded first prize to Australian documentary INHEITANCE: A FISHERMAN'S STORY. The prize money will be split evenly between producer/director Peter Hegedus and the subject of the film, Balazs Meszaros. So if you know either of these gentlemen, it's time to hit them up for a loan...

NEW YORK INTERNATIONAL INDEPENDENT FILM AND VIDEO FESTIVAL

MAX: A CAUTIONARY TALE will make its US debut at the festival in April. The film, which had a budget of $3 000, was directed by Australian filmmaker Nicholas Verso, and crewed by volunteers and film students.

BOX OFFICE

Reports are in that JAPANESE STORY has just passed $4million domestic after fourteen weeks in release. If this were an American film, double that figure in three days would be considered a failure, but consider this: Australia has a much smaller population, and JAPANESE STORY is competing with big budget films that have marketing budgets far in excess of STORY's *entire* budget. Kudos to the filmmakers.

Here are this week's leaders...

• 1. LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
• 2. SPY KIDS 3D: GAME OVER
• 3. LOVE ACTUALLY
• 4. WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE
• 5. COLD MOUNTAIN

RELEASED THESE PAST WEEKS

Stephen Fry does the roaring twenties, Disney continues hammering those nails into its animation coffin, a movie opens with a trailer so bad not even I will brave it for the brilliant Bonnie Hunt, Lars Von Trier gives us another light-hearted romp you can put on in the background, Jessica Alba continues the quality streak she begun with "Dark Angles", 3 hours and 40 minutes and I still wanted more, Bill Murray is turning Japanese, the third film beginning with "LO" comes out alongside the others (spooky!), marketing executive pat themselves on the back for getting a film starring people called "Jack" and "Dianne", and what the hell was wrong with "HELLDORADO"?

Sooooo here they are...

• BRIGHT YOUNG THINGS
• BROTHER BEAR
• CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN
• DOGVILLE
• HONEY
• LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING
• LOST IN TRANSLATION
• LOVE ACTUALLY
• SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE
• WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE

REVIEWS

COLD MOUNTAIN

There's a shorthand you need with people when you talk about Anthony Mingella. "ENGLISH PATIENT?" "Slept through most of it." "RIPLEY?" "Loved it." That's about where I stand, although I've been meaning to give PATIENT another go. It's why I was nervous of COLD MOUNTAIN. Mingella again attempting The Epic... would he again interpret that to mean slow and lumbering?

This is about as far from ENGLISH PATIENT as he can go before he betrays his signature entirely. The scenes in COLD MOUNTAIN are snappy, quick, humourous. The pace is kept up. Sure, about fifteen minutes needs to be chopped out of the running time, but it's never boring. Never dull.

Both Kidman and Law are perfect in their roles, but that was expected. They both have chameleonic qualities that ensure they're almost never miscast. Though I'm not convinced either will win, they'll both get nodded at for the little gold man. The little gold man will, however, go to Renee Zellweger. Believe everything you've heard, she's brilliant. I had my doubts going in (the "stand in the rain" speech from the trailer looked like blatant Oscar bait taken out of IN AND OUT's Hollywood send-ups... that was without the scene's context), but she nailed it. Her walk, her talk, her manner of holding herself and using her face... I've never seen her like that.

It made me think back to her previous films... CHICAGO, BRIDGET JONES, JERRY MAGUIRE, DOWN WITH LOVE. And now I'm thinking, how did I miss it? How did I dismiss her as just another leading lady, gorgeous and capable of a good performance and very good at picking her films... but why did I never consider her a serious actress? I'm repentant now, because it's clear she's really something else. She's taken on a role that would supposedly sully her reputation as a Beautiful Star, something most actresses try to avoid. But it doesn't feel cynical. Unlike the way her performance is cut together for the trailer, it never feels like she's trying to court the Academy members. It's what's needed for the character. A genuine performance.

Okay, I've been making Oscar references a lot, something that I know annoys a lot of people, because it shouldn't be about that, right? It shouldn't be about one awards ceremony out of the year? I agree. But this is a Miramax film, and it was clear before we saw a frame of footage that this was going to be their big one. They're pushing it as their big contender, and so I'm responding by rating its chances: lots of nominations, but only one definite win. In a few months, I expect we'll be watching Ms Zellweger give us a crocodile tear show that will eclipse even her Golden Globe speech from last year.

The film itself is solid. Like I said, a little long, but solid nonetheless. My only problem is it fronting as an epic. Lately, there's a tendency for a long running time to satisfy the requirements for an epic film. GLADIATOR is a good example of this. How can a film have that epic feel when it takes place over such a short amount of time? I want to see forty years of Charlton Heston crossing the desert! I want to see Alec Guinness lose a stack of weight during a lifetime of bridge building! I suppose COLD MOUNTAIN does take place over *years*, but they still look the same on day last as they did on day one.

It's a fairly minor nitpick, and one that certainly doesn't detract from the overall quality of the film. File under "recommend".

LOONEY TUNES: BACK IN ACTION

What's the deal, Latauro? Why are you printing a review of this after it came out so long ago, even in Australia? What's going on? What's with the third person speak?

Well, voice in my head, you shouldn't worry yourself over such matters. (Just go back to telling me who I should kill on Jodie Foster's behalf, and we'll both be happy.) See, I grew up on Bugs Bunny. Foghorn Leghorn. Wile E Coyote. At age seven I was able to identify the crappy period when the key creatives seemed to have left and all that was left were some interns doing the same old Road Runner gags over and over again. No, the golden moments were Duck Season. The Rabbit of Seville. "Uh... open sassafras?" I couldn't bring myself to see a bad movie ruining their good names. I'd already made that mistake years ago with SPACE JAM. Was not going to happen again.

But then something strange happened. I got very strong recommendations from two people who I would not have guessed as liking the flick. So, having a few hours free during my travels around the country, I nipped into a cinema to catch a screening.

I'm so glad I did. LOONEY TUNES is a great film, and does justice to much of what I loved. There are character alterations, sure, but none that got my goat. They were all in service of the story, all in service of the themes. And boy, does Joe Dante ever have it in for corporations. The subtext of the film is clearly the invasion of Big Business, its totality. ACME's evil plot isn't about taking over the world; it's about everyone buying their products. Hell, it's about Warner Brothers screwing over their franchises. (My little brother was once given a pencil case featuring Looney Tunes characters with backwards baseball caps and baggy shorts and skateboards, all of them striking rapper poses because that's what was popular that week. I wanted to cry.)

Brendan Fraser and Jenna Elfman were the perfect people to cast in this film. Aside from their high watchability and perfect comic timing, they never look embarrassed to be in this film. They never look standoffish. They throw themselves into it completely, and look at home with cartoony slapstick as Daffy does. The same goes for Steve Martin and Joan Cusack, both of whom had too little screentime. Even Timothy Dalton looks like he's having bunches of fun.

It's not the perfect Looney Tunes movie, but it's one I'll be picking up on DVD for many re-viewings. Also, any film that endorses Roger Corman as the director of a BATMAN film deserves any vote.

UPCOMING LORD OF THE RINGS SPIN-OFFS

- Stephen Norrington will direct an adaptation of THE SILMARILLION, starring Anthony Hopkins as the Narrator, Colin Farrell as Aragorn Jnr, and Denise Richard as Nyrwen the Nymph Elf

- In the true-life dramatic miniseries WHO SHOT J.R.R.?, Richard Briers will play Tolkien as he struggles to write "Lord of the Rings", with Sean Bean playing the ghost of Boromir who returns through a dimensional portal to give inspiration to the tortured author

- Gary Coleman to play a wise-cracking Hobbit who is forced to be roommates with a grumpy dwarf in the TV sitcom WHAT YOU TOLKIEN ABOUT, GLOIN?

Peace out,

Latauro

downunder@aintitcoolmail.com