Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
Well, I know it looks like we’re off to a slow start for the year... and we are. I didn’t take any time off over the holidays. Instead, I was clearing up some professional obligations so I could get back to all sorts of stuff, including my DVD column and my own 10 best of the year list, which is going to be exceptionally odd this year for reasons I’ll explain when I publish.
For right now, I’m just pleased to be presenting a new AICN Comics column. I’ve missed these guys, and hopefully you have, too. Here’s to a happy 2004 for all our favorite @$$holes...
Happy New Year, comic fans! If you’re new to the column, we’re the TalkBack League of @$$holes, the comic reviewers who cut through the bull, and my cheesy Ain’t-It-Cool-News moniker is Cormorant. Lots of comicy goodness for you this week, including both Vroom Socko and Village Idiot looking at TEEN TITANS from decidedly different angles, Ambush Bug trying desperately to review the latest FANTASTIC FOUR, me telling you to do read the SLEEPER trade paperback but don’t read AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, and the triumphant return of “Mad Dog” Buzz Maverik with reviews of ROSE & THORN and ESSENTIAL TOMB OF DRACULA.
Getting this column started, however, is Sleazy G. Sleazy was on the ball last week when Warren Ellis, he of TRANSMETROPOLITAN and AUTHORITY FAME, offered to answer up to four questions from any website quick enough to drop him a line during a particular span of twelve hours. Sleazy asked, Warren answered, and it went a little something like this…
1. What are your pint and drink of choice (including brand name and year if such things apply, as they tend to do with scotches and ports)?
Drink is single malt Scotch whisky, preferably the Springbank Campbeltown in the 31-year-old bottling. In terms of pintage, I'm passing fond of the Fraoch heather ale from Scotland. I could also go a bottle or two of the Domesday mead from East Anglia.
2. What comics creator do you most hate, and why?
God, if you're going to hate someone, it's pointless wasting it on a comics creator. Use it on someone who does something for a living and has something to say, at the very least. Use it on those Pop Idol/American Idol scumfucks. Use it on the people who are turning all of popular culture into a freakparade gameshow advertising-delivery-system wankpit. Use it on the people who want to drown music in sick old men's turds.
I'm in a REALLY bad mood tonight, let me tell you.
3. You've made mention many times of your general displeasure with much of the comics industry all around--creators, fans, publishers, distribution, etc. It seems as if you're just short of being completely fed up and walking out on the whole thing. What keeps you coming back month after month to write another script? Are you considering a break for a few years like Alan Moore took to recharge your batteries and then return with a fresh outlook, or do you prefer to stay angry because it gives your writing an edge?
I love comics. Simple as that. I don't want to stop making comics. It's what I do.
That said: the last couple of weeks in the comics business have driven me to my absolute fucking limit, so there's a fair chance that in 2004 I'll just piss off to Europe and work in comics there while finishing my novel for HarperCollins.
Alan and Grant Morrison have both taken breaks from comics, and I think both of them have recommended it to me at some point over the years. But I'm an old-style working writer. I need to be writing every day, or I get edgy.
4. What on earth has The Man ever done to earn your "smash the system" enmity? I mean, honestly, what's so bad about middle-of-the-road status quo? Surely if our society were so terrible, we'd all do something to change it, right?
That's what makes it so fucking insidious, though, isn't it? It's just this side of tolerable, just comfortable enough that getting up off our arses and doing the right thing looks too much like hard work to bother with.
Remember, my son: voting never changed anything. But fucking great bombs did.
TEEN TITANS #6
Geoff Johns: Writer
Mike McKone and Marlo Alquiza: Artists
DC Comics: Publisher
Vroom Socko: Masochist
As many of you probably recall, I’ve given this title an endless amount of grief. Hell, just click here, and you can read me absolutely savaging the book. And what I’d heard about the later developments didn’t exactly change that opinion. Take Impulse, for example. Setting aside the fact that no self respecting teenager in this day and age would call himself “Kid” anything, I detested the idea that his reading and retaining the entire contents of the San Francisco Public library would make Bart an instant smartypants. Besides, if he’s really interested in taking up the legacy of the Flash, why not just slap the lightning-bolt-through-a-circle logo on the front of the excellent Impulse costume and just go by The Flash. Hell, when Barry “returned,” both he and Wally were calling themselves The Flash. Same thing when the black garbed “Elseworld” Wally showed up. Not to mention the fact that Jay’s still running around using that name in JSA.
So anyway, I haven’t been very fond of this book so far. In fact, I’ve despised it, for all the reasons given in the above link. But although I’ve gone out of my way to avoid it like the plague, I simply HAD to take a look at this issue. You see, it features that overdone cliché of the JLA showing up to give the young un’s a piece of their mind. My curiosity got the better of my common sense, and I decided to see just how much Johns had managed to fuck up the League.
Long story short, I have only one thing to say to Geoff Johns, the fans of this book, and all you TalkBackers out there:
Mea Culpa.
Oh sure, the concept behind the issue is a well worn one, and the whole spiel that Nightwing gives when he shows up is pretty heavy handed, but the fun, my friends, is in the details. The change in relationship between two characters from the final issue of Young Justice is finally followed up on, making me one happy little fanboy. There’s also the rooftop conversation between Robin and Superboy, which works great as an example of both how much they have in common with their mentors, and how vastly different they are from them at the end of the day. And then there’s the whole bit with Superboy’s genetic history. In the first issue an anonymous e-mail was sent to the Boy of Steel, implying that his human DNA came from Lex Luthor. Near the end of this issue, Robin provides proof that this is, indeed, the case. Of course, right after this the source of the e-mail is revealed, setting this plotline in a new light and putting the validity of Supes’ genetic history once more into question.
There’s also the matter of the new ability Superboy uses in this issue, which also ties into something from back in the YJ days. Back in the Secret Origins 80 Page Giant, it was revealed that Superboy would develop vision powers as he got older. At the time of course, Superboy didn’t age at all, so the point was moot. This changed during the Sins of Youth storyline, so now that young Mr. Kent has grown a little, boom! Heat vision. You’ve just gotta love a throwaway line from a six year old book finally paying off.
As for Bart, someone finally points out what’s wrong with his new turn, and that someone is Wally. While they’re running around and across San Francisco Bay, the elder Flash points out that Bart is simply trying too hard to be what he’s not. Then right after this, Bart’s first application of his recently acquired Flash Facts blows up in his face. Knowing a lot of facts, you see, isn’t even remotely the same thing as being intelligent, and I can’t be more pleased to see that Johns does in fact know this.
Is this book perfect? Not exactly. As I said, the plotline of the issue is one that’s been done to death. Sure, the execution is above par, but if given the choice between reading a real good familiar plot and an okay original plot, I’m still going for the original one.
Still, my main complaints about this series have been about character, not plot. Those problems have officially vanished. By no means is it the best book coming from DC right now, but it’s on the right track. I’m going to be keeping a much closer, and much more appreciative eye on this sucker.
ESSENTIAL TOMB OF DRACULA VOL. 1
Written by Marv Wolfman, Gerry Conway, Archie Goodwin & Gardner F. Fox
Art by Gene Colan, Tom Palmer, Frank Chiaramonte
Published by Marvel
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
As many of you may know, I make my living by analyzing various comic book related material for certain "nonexistent" US government black bag agencies. It's a great way to support the fam through my two main hobbies: comic books and evil.
You may also know that US troops (God bless 'em) recently captured Iraqi dictator/comic book geek Saddam Hussein. Found among Hussein's meager possessions in the hole where he was living was a filthy, ragged copy of ESSENTIAL TOMB O' DRACULA VOL. 1. Saddam made numerous written comments in the margins, which I thought I would share with you here at AICN. Included are some of my comments for my superiors at MK-SEARCH.
"Marv Wolfman not the original writer on TOD ? How could I not know that? Series launched by writer Gerry Conway, best known for creating Spider-Man's clone. But all of the art is by the great Gene Colan. So beautiful. So moody and sinister! Gentleman Gene. Gene "The Dean" Colan. What would my Marvel Bullpen name have been? Savvy Saddam Hussein? Saddam "The Brain" Hussein? I should have gone to art school like I wanted, but noooo, Mother said to be a genocidal madman and I listen. Glad I had her killed!"
Maverik notes: Saddam, here, admits to having weapons of mass destruction. He also has serious mother issues.
"Interesting how in every issue Dracula, as a bat, descends on some unsuspecting babe in the fog and drains her blood. They used to sort of have Morbius doing that too in ADVENTURES INTO FEAR, but then Morbius would feel guilty. Dracula is more like me. Vampires are cool! When I get back into power, I must capture some! WEREWOLF BY NIGHT would attack couples. Vicarious thrill for readers like myself...all of us evil dictators."
Maverik notes: " While he doesn't come right out and say it, it is clear that Hussein feels inferior to President Bush!"
"First appearance of BLADE! Doesn't look much like Snipes! I like the short 'fro. Wonder how I'd look with a 'fro !"
Maverik notes: "Saddam would look stupid with a 'fro."
"Vampire hunter Hannibal King...Supervillain Dr. Sun, a disembodied brain that wanted to use vampires to get him blood to stay alive. Wolfman later had Sun's brain put in a robot body in the pages of THE MAN CALLED NOVA. Maybe if I was just a brain in a case, I wouldn't have to hide in this goddam hole!"
Maverik notes: "For a deranged butcher of Baghdad, Saddam has really good taste in comic books! These '70s horror comics are like Hammer films on the page with superior art. By today's standards, they're a little overwritten but if you were to edit the captioning, you'd never know. The art is beautiful. Colan is one of the true greats! This is comic book storytelling at its best!"
This should get me a step up in base pay, fer sure!
Free Chong!
FANTASTIC FOUR #508 (#79)
Writer: Mark Waid
Artist: Howard Porter
Publisher: MARVEL
Reviewer: Everyone, but Ambush Bug
Hey, folks. Ambush Bug here and I can’t wait to tell you all what I thought of the latest issue of FANTASTIC FOUR. This review may have a few SPOILERS, so if you like to read virginal-style, I suggest you move on to the next review. Everyone is abuzz (especially Buzz) here at @-hole HQ about the recent developments in the FF. I know they’ve been itchin’ to talk about it all, but they’ve promised to let me do my review and not butt in. So let’s get started—
SLEAZY G: Hey guys! I never made it to the store this week, as I was laid out with a nasty case of post nasal drippage for the last week and a half. Who’d they whack in the FF this week? I keep hearing I'll be "shocked,” but since the death of any of the four wouldn’t "shock" me, I just feel a mild sort of "is it one of the members they've killed before?" curiosity. I know some of you are still loving this book, so fill me in.
BUG: It’s funny you should mention that Sleazy. I was just about to give a little recap—
VROOM SOCKO: The FF took over Latveria since Doom was exiled to Hell, which raised the eyebrows of the United Nations. So SHIELD has been sent into Latveria, armed with weapons designed with killing the FF in mind. Unfortunately, Doom is back, and is using magick to body-hop between the Four. And man, is he pissed to see his citizens showing respect to Reed and his entire weapons arsenal destroyed.
BUG: Uhm…Vroom. I was going to—
VROOM: So Doom possesses the ever luvin' blue eyed Thing and he’s about to break Johnny like Bane did to Batman, but Ben manages to get ol' Victor in a mental half nelson. Taking advantage of the moment, Reed grabs one of SHIELD’s FF stopping weapons and blows a glowing green hole the size of a dinner plate in the Thing's chest, killing him. In the end, Reed signs over all his patents to the government in order to avoid prosecution, the FF is flat broke, and most of the world no longer trusts the team. We’re left with the best damn closing line to a monthly book I've read all year. "I can't -- I just can't -- stand not having Ben by my side anymore...So I'm bringing him back to life."
BUG: Thanks for the recap, Vroom. I’ll take it from here.
BUZZ: I like the line "I'm bringing Ben back to life.”
BUG: But—
BUZZ: That shows an awareness on Waid's part that death in comics doesn't mean a thing. I'd like to see an Alan Moore-ish scenario, "Sorry I had to kill you, old man, but it was the only way to stop Doom this time." And Ben’s like "Aw, screw you, Stretch-o."
SLEAZY: No. Sorry. I just really, really hate everything Waid has done since he took this over, and this is no exception. One stupid plot development after another, tawdry humor, an utterly meaningless death (meaningless in the sense of "it doesn't mean anything because he'll be back within six issues"), on and on...it's just not right for the FF. Everything he's done has been wrong for these characters and this title. MAX FF? Okay. Ultimate FF? Sure. Real, Marvel U, forty years of tradition FF? Nope. All I know is that with different characters and a different title some of this might be okay, but it's just dead wrong for the FF.
JON QUIXOTE: Wahh Wahh Wahh! A death is not meaningless just because it turns out to not be a death - there can be permanent or significant character changes on the journey to and from that place. Certainly it says a lot about Reed's character arc over the last 12 issues that he was willing to kill his best friend in order to defeat his worst enemy. Besides, it's not like the story was hyped as "An FF member DIES! And they'll never be the same!" It's part of a story that's been very natural. Regardless of whether or not the FF is going in a direction the Great Powerful Sleaze approves of, it has progressed logically.
SLEAZY: Back away from the Big Green Curtain there, JQ. It only follows logically if you want it to, man. You mean to tell me that long-time friend and ally of the FF, Dr. Strange, didn't have any way to...oh, I dunno... capture and trap a spirit that was body-hopping? BULLSHIT. Even if nobody had time to get to Strange, we've all seen enough issues where Reed whips out an experimental whatchamajigger that could capture strange energies or allow them to enter alternate dimensions. It turns out he invented a gun that could negate Ben's powers and kill him because that's how Waid wanted it, not because it was "logical".
BUZZ: I gotta go with Sleaze on this one. It's just bad writing. Bad writing is when you can see or hear the writing. "I'll kill the Thing. That'll make me edgy like Grant and Mark and Garth and Growth and all those snooty Brits." That's why the last two issues of the ULTIMATES have been so insufferable. When Millar is really bad, you can see him writing. Hitch might as well have just drawn Millar at his word processor instead of Captain America in the "It don't stand for France" panel. That's what was cool about Elmore Leonard in his prime: you never saw Leonard writing.
JQ: It's not "I'll kill Thing.” It's "I'll have Reed kill Doom (even though he takes Thing with him).”
SLEAZY: Waid killed Ben cuz he wanted to kill somebody. He also did it in order to further dirty up and torture characters who didn't need or deserve dirtying. Ben's heroic sacrifice won't even mean anything, because there was never even a question about whether he'd be back. Reed's decision (one Reed would never make, but Waid doesn't get the character) carries no weight because we don't see the effects as they happen, we're just given a "six months later..." fallout scene. I'm sick of writers coming up with bullshit reasons to rip The Four apart when the only time they work is when they're together. Hell, Waid's smart enough that I bet that's exactly the point he's trying to make.
BUG: But, you see, I was going to review this—
JQ: THAT is bull. Ignore for a moment that before UNTHINKABLE, Waid demonstrated ably how well he "got" Reed, before throwing him on a descent to madness, and it's still the worst form of literary criticism. "He would never..." BULLSHIT!” What an awful, audacious imposition you make on a writer, and what stagnant stories and characters you would create if you had your way. There are generally no "nevers.” Waid wasn't writing a story where all of a sudden Reed acted out of character and killed Ben. Waid wrote a story about Reed being dragged to a place where he would sacrifice his Best Friend's life to stop his worst enemy. And for the past twelve issues, that's where he's been taking Reed - TO THAT POINT. Once the character has been established, you have to justify the reason for the change. And Waid most certainly has taken us along for that ride - in fact, he's gone out of his way to do so, spreading the development out over a year's worth of stories. Reed could sacrifice Ben to kill Doom. It may sound extremely out of character, but all that means is we, the audience, need to be shown why and how. Certainly, with his family tortured, with his son sent to Hell, with his face scarred, and his sense of self devastated, Reed understandably started slipping into madness. He became blinded by his obsession, seeing nothing but his goal, including the risks.
BUG: Good point, JQ. And after this issue, who knows what Reed’ll do. Now I—
CORMORANT: I'll save extended comments on why I think Waid's not quite "getting" the characters for another time…
BUG: Thanks, Corm. Ever the voice of reason.
CORM: …but one thing has bothered me throughout the current arc.
BUG: Et tu, Corm?
CORM: Okay, so accepting that Reed's gone nutso (which is okay by me, though I'll stick to my guns that the FF's torture was overly mean-spirited for the book), why didn't his fellow teammates make efforts to curtail his mania earlier? I know the FF are used to Reed sealing himself up inside his lab for hours on end to come out with some world-saving answer, but this time they know he's mentally unstable and emotionally scarred. Waid's certainly shown that Sue's smart and capable, Johnny more mature than most give him credit for, and Ben the heart of the group. I'm just having a hard time buying that these smart, capable characters would let Reed go to the extreme lengths he did with only the occasional "Uh, should we be doing this?.” It made them seem impotent to me.
JQ: But...they did! Johnny used Doom's time platform to take Reed back and show him that his need for revenge was self-defeating.
CORM: And I’m supposed to believe Johnny thought he'd achieved success when shortly thereafter Reed overthrew a political hotbed of a country with nary a word of explanation to the rest of the world?
JQ: You make it sound as though Reed went in there, guns a blazing, and threw an elected parliament out of the capital with the FF nodding along. Reed didn't "overthrow" Latveria. When Reed was walking them through why they were there, all of Doom's deadly technology and traps guarding it and Reed talking about their responsibility and how they're the only ones who could do it...didn't that sound totally plausible, if not logical? What were they there to do? They were there to wipe out Doom's arsenal so that when he returned, he wouldn't be able to pick up where he left off (as he usually does), and because doing so (and because the act of taking out Doom as they just did) left Latveria pretty much in a state of FUBAR. Sounds pretty good, and if they still had any misgivings...well, it is Reed Fuckin' Richards, the guy who has led them through the Negative Zone. To Hell and back. Re-read it again, try to see what's going on through Johnny, Ben, and Sue's eyes, and theirs alone, and really ask if they had good cause to slap the shiny buckled coat on Reed and drag him out of there.
CORM: I dunno - the fact that Reed took over a foreign country seems pretty loopy from the get-go to me, especially since (if memory serves) he never really explained his motivations and ultimate intentions beyond some hurried fear-mongering about Doom's weapons and whatnot. Was there ever a sense that the four of them actually sat down and talked this thing through for even five minutes after the initial invasion? I mean *really* talked about it? Maybe I'm just forgetting it, but my memory is that Reed's basically been barking orders and the FF have been grudgingly following them like children, not adults able to speak to him on equal terms.
BUG: But Corm, Reed’s always been on a higher level of understanding than the rest of the group. Most of the stuff the FF faces is over all of their heads but his. I was going to say in my review—
CORM: I concede that on some level, only the Watcher or Galactus can speak to Reed on equal terms, but the Latveria stuff is just too big to accept the team would get behind it without a serious heart-to-heart. Really, though, it all comes back to Doom and the fact that I'm ultimately dissatisfied with his characterization. The torture and execution chambers didn't work for me (I can buy him holding executions on those rare occasions his menace wasn't enough to cow the citizenry, but I actually picture them as being *public*), his pettiness has seemed too pronounced, and having a nuke is almost prosaic for a guy who once nabbed the Surfer's surfboard in his quest for world domination. Which is a long way of saying that, on reflection, I always felt Doom's nobility was legit, if twisted, and Waid's version doesn't reflect that - he's just kind of a creep now. Which sort of taints everything after that first arc, y'know?
JQ: It's sort of like the Roadrunner, I guess. Wile E.'s pretty endearing as we laugh at him through all his failures, but how endearing would he be if we ever actually saw him succeed. UNTHINKABLE (and I'm assuming we're talking that arc because Doom only popped up for one issue out of the last 8 you're dissatisfied with) is just that. All the time in the past Doom was going after the FF...what was his ultimate goal? Maybe that's just me, and the fact that his previous appearance was to serve as an armor-clad midwife for his mortal enemy's pregnant wife. Is that not nauseating? This guy should be the baddest mofo in the Marvel Universe and for the past 10 years you got the impression that his ultimate goal was to laugh as Reed fell in a mud puddle. That if he ever had the FF at his mercy, he'd pull down their pants and march them through Latveria before letting them go. I prefer the Doom I grew up with, a Doom who coerced a "reformed" Magneto to murder a helpless mutant child. I want a Doom with menace, anything else is worthless.
CORM: I think most of you guys know I'm just not a fan of Waid's writing in general, with KINGDOM COME and EMPIRE being two series everyone likes but me. FF seemed like an exception for a time, but lately I'm just reading the book to see what that the next shocker is, not because I'm really having fun with the book.
BUG: But, my review—
SLEAZY: I just think the tone and approach are still dead wrong for this one particular title. The FF are iconic, they're a family, and they should stay those two things.
JQ: It's darker, but I don't think it's radically darker than some of what we've seen before. I remember a Byrne FF where Franklin's blood was used to summon Mephisto. There was a "nobody gets out alive" arc in the 90's, as well as Sue shagging Namor when she thought Reed was dead. At some point, you've gotta recognize that the last 20 years are part of the "tradition" too.
CORM: I'm still iffy on the title. It's almost like a Bendis book for me, with lots of individual scenes I enjoy, but more general elements I can't get into.
JQ: The way I see it, there's nothing gratuitous and nothing that isn't still family friendly. I wouldn't have a problem with a 6-10 year old reading this arc - in fact, in my experience with 6-10 year olds, they eat this shit up. Of all the titles I currently buy, FF is probably the one I'd pass on to a kid. But even if you have a problem with the "tone,” there's no denying that it's really smart, well-written, and (most importantly) different. But good different, not embarrassed by what came before different. Unlike something like DD or Ultimates, it still reads like an FF comic...just one we haven't read before.
VROOM: Bug, did you have anything more to say about the book?
BUG: *Sigh* Never mind.
SLEEPER: OUT IN THE COLD (TPB)
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Artist: Sean Phillips
Publisher: WildStorm Productions / DC Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
It’s not often a title that hasn’t captured popular support gets a second chance in the comics biz, but WildStorm and DC are taking just such a chance on Ed Brubaker’s critically beloved SLEEPER. With an eye, no doubt, towards Vertigo books like SANDMAN, PREACHER, and TRANSMETROPOLITAN – titles that rose to prominence through the trade format – they’ve collected the first six issues of the superpowered crime series into one nice package.
Folks, you’d be a fool to let the opportunity slip past you. SLEEPER’s the real deal, the kind of book that, if you pass it up in favor of adding some third or fourth Spider-Man or X-Men trade to your collection, will have you wanting to eat a shotgun sandwich in your old age as you realize you wasted your entire comics-buying life on the same old mediocre shit as every other sheep out there.
Now where were we?
Holden Carver’s a guy in a bad situation. He’s a former government agent – black ops type - operating in the same tarnished world as The Authority, Planetary, Stormwatch, and all the other morally questionable heroes and villains of the WildStorm Universe. His problem is that he’s three-and-a-half years into infiltrating the WildStorm equivalent of the mob (like our mob, but backed by superpowered muscle), and his only contact on the side of the angels is comatose after a near-fatal shooting. He’s got no way out and no one to direct his infiltration, but he’s risen so successfully through the bad guy ranks that going on the run isn’t an option. There’s still a chance to do some real good one day…it’s just that in the meantime, he has to play his bad guy role to a T, even if that means killing innocents.
Okay, so this book isn’t lighthearted fun, but once you’ve tuned in, it’s riveting. Brubaker’s mob boys are like the hoodlums of RESERVOIR DOGS and GOODFELLAS – funny and likeable one moment, utterly amoral as they gun down some innocent the next. That they’re just as likely to use their powers as a gun is almost irrelevant – this is a crime comic through and through, the best one on the market.
The superpowered mobsters of SLEEPER live in their own world, and in a Scorcese-esque scene early in the book, Brubaker walks us through the hierarchy: at the bottom, the Quislings - small time hoods making up the bulk of the organization, maybe outfitted with minor cyborg enhancements; then there’s the Blackguards, the tough-as-nails superpowered soldiers of the mob; above them, the Torpedoes – high ranking lieutenants, Carver’s position; and nearly at the top, the three Prodigals, the most trusted agents of the man named Tao. Tao’s a brilliant but unknowable bastard created by Alan Moore in the pages of WILDCATS years ago, but his past is irrelevant. The most important thing to know about him is that he’s a scary motherfucker, and the reader’s constantly wondering whether he or not he knows Carver’s a double agent.
Beyond the concept, I think what I like best about SLEEPER is the personalities. Holden himself is very much a classic, tormented agent, torn between his hardboiled duties and remorse for his actions. His best bud, on the other hand – a vicious but hilarious bruiser codenamed Genocide – steals the scene nearly every time he shows; if comicdom gave out Oscars, he’d be up for a Best Supporting. Then there’s Miss Misery, a high-level Prodigal who’s Carver’s lover on the sly. She’s scary as hell because she actually gains strength and power from committing evil acts – grows sick if she doesn’t - so she’s alternately comicdom’s hottest femme fetale or the female equivalent of violence-loving Joe Pesci. One of the more novel conceits of SLEEPER is the idea that these hoods exchange “origin stories” which each other in their downtime, and since they’re all bad guys, you can expect ‘em to be pretty harrowing – but eminently readable.
Ed Brubaker’s talked about patterning SLEEPER after smart, adult-themed television shows like THE SHIELD and THE SOPRANOS – serialized fiction where the individual chapters stand alone, yet build on each other to create a satisfying larger story. I think he’s pulled it off in spades. With regular collaborator Sean Phillips supplying the moody visuals, he’s convinced me that watching Holden Carver twist in the wind each month is absolutely the place to be.
Continuing the TV analogy, issues one through twelve of the monthly SLEEPER comic will make up “season one” (and issue twelve is just on the horizon), with a relaunch of the series to follow as its “season two,” and the trades serving as the equivalent of all those kick-ass DVD boxed sets we can find so readily these days. It’s a satisfying formula, familiar and approachable for just about everyone who’s ever enjoyed a good TV series. And honestly, there’s no downside. SLEEPER remains one of the top five books on the market, so just set your sites on the stark white, German Expressionist cover to the trade next time you’re at the comic shop and get back to me when you’re done. We can swap favorite moments.
ROSE & THORN # 1
Written by Gail Simone
Art by Adriana Melo & Dan Green
Published by DC
Review by Buzz Maverik
Excuse me while I play a little catch up here. ROSE & THORN # 1 came out a few weeks back and the review is running here and now simply because I haven't gotten around to writing it until recently. Does that twist your drawers up? Then stop reading!
For those of you still with me: ROSE & THORN is a six issue limited series from DC written by versatile BIRDS OF PREY writer Gail Simone. Simone started out in comics a few years back and built a reputation for writing excellent comedy and action stories in DEADPOOL, AGENT X and her own creation KILLER PRINCESSES. The stuff was wacky, and unlike most comic book humor, often produced actual laughs. When she took over BIRDS OF PREY in 2003, Simone switched styles, focusing on character, relationships and intrigue. The laughs came purely from character and were appropriate to the situations.
With ROSE & THORN, Simone is tackling a character that has been part of the DC Universe for some time. As a Marvel Zombie whom the deprogrammers worked over back in the '80s, I knew nothing about this character and found my ignorance to be a benefit in reading this issue. Roshyn Forrest is a teenage girl in a mental institution. Her policeman father has been murdered by a criminal organization called the 100. Rose is prone to violent outbursts until she starts a radical form of CLOCKWORK ORANGE type therapy (without the propped open eyelids) from a ruthless doctor whose style is oddly reminiscent of Hannibal Lecter's brand of psychological insights. Rose's violent side becomes repressed and a split personality, Thorn, is created. We see Thorn deal out some jailhouse justice to one of Rose's fellow inmates.
The great thing about this issue is that it avoids all the trappings of a superhero story. It works as a thriller and as psychological horror. We can see how Thorn could and probably will be turned into some sort of vigilante identity, but we also see a more grounded and interesting approach being used. The story works simply as that of a young girl being manipulated and failed by a group of adult male characters: the monstrous Dr. Chitlow, the weak-willed Dr. Howlett, a pair of beleaguered and possibly untrustworthy police officers, her father's former partner Curtis Leland and his new partner Detective Mercado. Is it any wonder that Roshyn/Rose needs Thorn to protect her and possibly seek her redemption?
Dual identity is a big part of the superhero lore. Wimps and nerds like Clark Kent and Peter Parker transform into powerhouses Superman and Spider-Man. Self-centered playboys are only disguises for driven, self-sacrificing Batmen. A character may seem helpless, handicapped and in need of a cane to navigate in one identity, but can leap off rooftops and dodge automatic weapon fire in another. On the villain front, a mediocre comedian experience a series of devastating events that turns him into a sadistic, virtually unstoppable monster clown.
The hidden selves of comic book heroes and villains are elements that help make the characters archetypes. These characters all undergo their own hero's (or villain's) journey to realize their secret strength. Obviously, this tells us that we all have our own secret strengths as well. Hopefully, this means that we can each become capable, powerful adults.
Comics have addressed the multiple personalities of the superhero only a few times, with mixed results. Moon Knight got his various identities mixed up and that never worked too well for me. Originally, the cabbie / playboy / bum / superhero all seemed like undercover roles and the disorder that resulted just seemed like a blatant story direction. When Peter David dealt with these issues in THE INCREDIBLE HULK, it worked a little better, but I never really bought Bruce Banner as having Multiple Personality Disorder either.
In ROSE & THORN, it works. It is an organic part of the character, the basis for the series. Removing the story, for the time being anyway, from any kind of superhero setting only gives us a clearer perspective on the characters and on the concept of super-characters having multiple identities in general. The idea of a super-character as little more than an extreme personality has been almost completely unexplored in comics and using psychological manipulation to kick off a character's creation is fairly unique.
On the art front, Adriana Melo tells a lot of story here. She gives us intricate, detailed panels laid out in dynamic fashion, showing us numerous perspectives at once. Rose/Roshyn's asylum life is presented in realistic detail while the few scenes we see of Thorn, locked in Rose's mind, are frenzied and nightmarish but with restraint. The art serves the story and it is to Melo's credit that she never presents us with images so insane that we are jolted out of the story or the characters. Elmore Leonard said he never wanted the reader to be aware of the writing. With Melo's art, we are not reminded that there was someone at a drawing board with a pencil. This is a great success.
Intriguing characters. Compelling story. First rate artwork. The potential for future surprises. It's all here.
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #502
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Artist: John Romita Jr.
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewed by Cormorant
Back during all the hoopla that sprung up around Tim Burton’s first Batman movie in ’89, I read a prose anthology called THE FURTHER ADVENTURES OF BATMAN. Kinda lame book, really, with maybe a dozen or so stories from various genre authors. One of the silliest entries was a story called “Neutral Ground,” about a tailor/gadget-maker who would fix up Batman’s damaged costumes, rope lines, etc. The twist was that as soon as Batman left, the guy’s next appointment was with the Riddler or somesuch, with Catwoman scheduled for later that evening, yada yada yada. That was the novelty high concept: all the heroes and villains going to the same guy without knowing about each other. Shock!
Having always disliked that story, I guess I can’t claim to have gone into AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #502 – which essentially expands on the idea – without bias. I recognize that it’s meant to be a lightweight issue – the equivalent of an old TREK episode like “A Piece of the Action” or “The Trouble With Tribbles” – but it’s just too silly. Too stupid.
We’re introduced early in the issue to an aging Jewish tailor named Leo Zelinsky. In a flashback, we see how The Thing one day came into his shop years ago in need of an emergency pair of trunks, having lost his in battle. He’s holding a newspaper over his crotch, and adds, “You got something in a seventy waist? And I gotta have stretch in the inseam or I chafe.” Not a terrible scene, but it sets the tone for the montage wackiness to come, as Leo chastises Captain Mar-Vell for all his costume changes, confides to Spider-Man that Thor reads gardening magazines and MODERN BRIDE while he waits (I get it – JMS made a gay joke!), and generally kibitzes with his customers like, well, like a clichéd old Jewish guy.
Leo’s problem is that he’s also attracted supervillains as customers, from The Blob musing over wearing a Sumo wrestler thong to Doctor Doom (!) holding out a tattered cloak and simply demanding, “Fix it.” Yukity yuk. Most of the many gags fall similarly flat, and I’m reminded of Peter David’s more insufferable jokes – you know, when you get the feeling these guys think they’re much funnier than they actually are.
Anyway, business is business for Leo, and naturally his clients rely on him maintaining their anonymity, but he hits a moral dilemma when he actually overhears one of his superbaddie customers talking on the phone about an assassination (note: this is some no-name hitman type in a black costume, not a real Marvel villain). The melodrama shifts into high gear when Leo’s young grandson (with whom he apparently discusses his business), busts on gramps for not getting involved and stopping this guy. Ah, but getting involved was just what got this kid’s dad, a police officer, killed, and Leo’s duty to the kid comes before some poor schmuck targeted for a hit. With the melodrama redlining, the kid reminds gramps that great-grandad was in a concentration camp in Poland, the ultimate victim of people not getting involved.
Ah, wacky tailor humor and the specter of the Holocaust – two great tastes that taste like cough syrup together.
And Spider-Man? Yeah, he eventually shows. Surprising no one, Leo ultimately relents and turns to him for help. They have coffee, JMS does some more costume gags, and eventually a lesson is learned. I don’t know about other readers, but the lesson I learned was that JMS is getting painfully self-indulgent on this book. The word is that JMS has a clause in his Marvel contract such that his work can’t be touched – maybe a good business decision on Marvel’s part to win him over initially, but creatively, the downside is becoming painfully apparent. The increasingly bad jokes, the unending spider-totem storylines, the alternately cornball and soppy scenes between Peter and MJ – it’s all starting to remind me of that season of BABYLON 5 where JMS wrote every episode. Actually, that was the season where I walked out on the series, even as it approached its grand finale. Never did find out exactly how it ended, this despite having once been about the biggest fan you can imagine of the show.
I hate sharp declines like that. Can’t abide ‘em. I’d rather cut bait and try my luck elsewhere, which is precisely what I’m planning to do with Straczynski’s AMAZING SPIDER-MAN. The Romita Jr. art is still excellent, and JMS usually manages a few sharp scenes per issue (this one, for instance, had Leo identifying Spider-Man as a Queens resident by his accent), but for me it’s just not worth all the missteps.
But me and JMS…well, we’ll always have MIDNIGHT NATION.
TEEN TITANS #6
Geoff Johns - Writer
Mike McKone - Pencils
Marlo Alquiza - Inks
Published by DC Comics
Reviewed by Village Idiot
Okay, by now you've already read Vroom Socko's glowing review of TEEN TITANS #6. Vroom thought that was a fun story with a familiar plot; one that impressed him with an attention to character vales he'd thought writer Geoff Johns had forsaken; overall the issue won him over. Now it's time to look at things from a different perspective.
First of all, let's begin with All teenagers are stupid. Let me say that again: All teenagers are stupid. Let me say it slowly: All. Teenagers. Are. Stupid. Let me say it in Spanish: Todos adolescentes son estúpidos.
Sure, there may be kids here or there that might be on the ball every once in a while, but if we look at teenagers in general, I think it's safe to say they're all idiots. And I'm not just talking about the clothes they wear or the music they listen to, I'm talking about the fact that they lack the understanding and sense of restraint to make important, intelligent decisions. They just don't have it. This is something that our culture has a hard time admitting sometimes, especially when everyone seems so hell bent on holding on to their adolescence (like comic book reviewers), and while advertising and movies do everything they can to pander to them. But really, it's the God's honest truth: Adults are pretty dumb, but teenagers are even worse. Think back to when you were a teenager. Admit it: You were a moron.
So that's why when I see an emphasis toward "teen empowerment," or "listen to the children," I cringe. It's just a bad idea, really. And what's funny is that TEEN TITANS #6 inadvertently proves my point.
I say "inadvertently" because I get the impression when reading TEEN TITANS that while Geoff Johns is writing to kids, trying to tap into their yearning for power, identity, and rebellion, at the same time, he's forgotten how dumb they are. In fact, I'll go even further: I don't think he recognizes how dumb his own teenagers are, even as he's writing them. The teens of the Teen Titans are stupid, yes, but there's an underlying spirit of validation there that indicates to me that Johns is trying to, yes, listen to the children.
So the Teen Titans decide to take on the JLA. Manifestly, they take on the JLA in some half-baked effort to support Wonder Girl's decision to be a Titan against the wishes of Wonder Woman. But on a more unspoken level, they seem to be showing the grown-ups that kids are people too. So rather than show the JLA how mature and responsible they can be by acting, I don't know, mature and responsible, they throw tantrums and fight with them. Kid Flash races Flash out into the San Francisco Bay and tries to subdue him with a water spout that ends up getting them both into trouble. Superboy's anger causes him to accidentally shoot Superman with his new heat vision. Wonder Girl lassos Wonder Woman with her new thunder lasso and gives her a good blast. And Robin – don't get me started on that little punk. Needless to say, maturity and responsibility, are out the window.
Fortunately, Nightwing shows up to brings things to a halt. Nightwing is, I suppose, in a unique position to bridge the gap between generations. He ultimately delivers "the message" to the JLA:
"If they need you, you want these kids to open up to you – respect their privacy here at the tower. Let them handle things on their own no matter what. Bless the beasts and children, Batman...Bless them."
Okay, okay, I added that last part, but you get the idea. To be fair, it seemed like no one in the issue was acting all that bright, including the adults; but the point of the story, and of Nightwing's voice of reason, seemed to be that the kids need respect and autonomy – even after providing no evidence whatsoever that that they deserve the slightest shred of respect and autonomy. On the contrary, true to teenage form, they acted like idiots. They abused what power they had, using it even when they weren't in control of it, largely for the sake of frustration, against their friends and mentors. And in the end they were rewarded with more power. In essence, the kids won, but they didn't deserve to win. And by the way the story was written and resolved, I'm afraid that this irony eluded Johns.
And here's where the review really goes all screwy: Was it entertaining? Well, yeah, it kinda was. There was a breeziness and excitement to the issue, due in no small part to Mike McKone's terrific artwork. (Really great stuff – when he cooks, he cooks.) In retrospect -- and as my initial consternation begins to wear off -- there was definitely an energy to the issue that was undeniably appealing. The trick is to not think too hard about the irony of what was actually happening in the story, and it might feel like a pretty good issue.
CHEAP SHOTS!
EL CAZADOR #4: I caught MASTER AND COMMANDER recently, and was really taken with its extended naval equivalent of a car chase (hell, that was the whole movie). This latest EL CAZADOR delivers similar thrills, similarly grounded in authenticity, as our lovely pirate lass finds her ship pursued by the far better armed ship of an English privateer. It’s a smart and beautifully drawn battle of wits as the two ships jockey for position, with a crazy Dutch gunner stealing the show with some decidedly non-traditional tactics. Great fun, and it remains the most lushly illustrated comic on the market. – Cormorant
IRON MAN #75: Iron Man, liberal or conservative? That's the question that was asked here in the talkbacks a while ago and it was addressed in this issue. You don't find an answer in this issue (Stark smartly skirts the issue), but hints are dropped. John Jackson Miller continues to impress with deft political intrigue and drama. This may not be the Iron Man I grew up with, but it is the most logical evolution of a Marvel character I have yet to see. Not much action in this issue or the last one, but that's okay with me. Miller seems to be brewing quite a political stew in these last issues. Let's hope that the payoff is as tasty as the setup. Jorge Lucas continues to draw one of the coolest Iron Man designs in years. Plus he's getting better with regular plain clothes folks too. This book is a secret gem in Marvel's stable. Good writing. Good art. Good characterization. Good premise. The total package. Check it out now before it becomes a hard to find, classic storyline. - Ambush Bug
ROBIN #121: My fears have come to pass: Bill Willingham, so untouchably good on FABLES, has written one lame-ass issue of ROBIN. It’s almost to be expected, but I actually like Batman’s sidekick in general, so I was willing to give this thing a go if it was above average. Instead we get hoary clichés like a Big Man On Campus type introducing himself to Tim Drake on the first day of school (violently cheesy dialogue), our lead bumping into a hot girl in the hallway (future love interest, no doubt), and some trademark Willingham misogyny (bound gangster’s wife gets a hot iron to her face as rival gangster questions her). Willingham seems really out of his territory on a book like this, with both his time and the reader’s time being wasted. - Cormorant
