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Empire Strikes Back: Special Edition review

Ok folks, I saw Empire Strikes Back Special Edition tonight. I don't want to spoil the experience here, so like I did before, I will simply relate the experience of the film. First, I should say this is my favorite of the trilogy.

I arrived at the theater about three hours ahead of time to secure my fave seat (third row central), I was the first. So instead of waiting inside the theater, I sat outside at some benches, by myself. I was awaiting the arrival of my father (who has seen every first screening of a Star Wars film in Austin with me since Star Wars originally appeared) Now sure I knew what was to come, or so I thought, but I was excited to be there. Soon other lucky ticket holders arrived, many with that goofy look in their eye. Then my family arrived and into the theater we went. Now I was awaiting my friend and ally Geek #2 Glen. You see Glen and I moved heaven and earth to become important in the eyes of the regional 20th Century Fox promotional department. Not an easy task. He spent days tracking down the tickets, first picking them up at the printers, then through a contact in the postal department, then when they arrived at the Fox offices. Then it was time to divert two passes to our mutual mailboxes. Let's just say, the force has a power over the strong minded too. The passes procured, it was now my duty to hold line space for him. Now you have to understand, usually when Geek #2 is enroute to coolness, a terrible catastrophe befalls not only him but every single thing between him and his destined coolness. Amazingly through perilous traffic no harm came to him. Obviously the micro- meteorite that was destined to destroy his carbaureator in his vehicle while on the mix master at Ben White was caught staring at the blocked traffic and skewered a unlucky cow, I know this because it was seen in his rear view mirror. He has his moments, not many, but he has him. Now it was time for the line to begin in earnest. We all sat around in the lobby listening to the tales of woe of my fathers gruelling Paul Verhoeven inspired childhood, "Beware of Jimmy Brown!!!!" The line enjoyed and winced as every detail and then began relating their most physically painful moment. Ahhhh, a line for Empire. Pain was obviously the order of business. Then it was time to seat. Yahooooooooooo

Once inside my friend and I noticed that Star Wars babes exist in force, thank yall. Unfortunately they had dweebish pencil necked compu-geeks that weren't nearly the calibre of geek that he and I were. Such travisties do exist I assure you. Then radio dude took up our geek time with stupid moo-money news. Lulabelle the cash cow(obviously spared in the micro meteorite attack earlier), man I hate KHFI. We waved at the projectionist twice, and then the lights dimmed. The screen became illuminated with the first twinklings of the green preview screen, PG. Then the Fox logo, followed by the LucasFilm logo with a yearning Williams music in the background followed by a new trailer for Jedi, man a real Skyhopper in flight, your jaw will drop, I swear I was not prepared by the production sketches on my site. "It really does fly" Then the evil Act III stuff followed by the greatest film you will ever likely pay witness to. With all the new stuff, which is by the way LETTER PERFECT, the most amazing thing is still that friggin muppet. Yoda is sooooooooooooooooo REAL, I mean how can a puppet do that stuff, there is a soul in those eyes. "The Eyes are the windows to the soul" Let me say in regards to the new stuff, which if any of you spoil in this newsgroup, you should rot in hell in my opinion. Put Spoiler warnings please. This new stuff is amazing. I mean there is no adequate way to humanly describe with out gesturing like a friggin mad man. I mean its so frigginnnn cool. By the way adults substitute the word you would put in place of friggin, it probably has a u in it somewhere. There are new moments of such profound beauty that tears will instantly flood your eyes, your mouth will go dry except for the corners which will produce large quantities of drool, and your other geek activated extremities will do what they usually do. Boy that's not too pretty a sight when I think of it. Afterwards we all sorta did the living dead stunned walk out of the theater. Geek #2 had professed that he must leave quickly. However, the utter coolness of this new stuff and that damn muppet so overtook him that twenty minutes quickly jumped by on our watches. Strange musta been some disturbance with force like thingees. Me tawk weal gud. Anyway folks, you will be amazed. I will be in line Thursday night at the Lincoln in Austin for the next available showing, as I thought seriously about taking my cache of weapons and forcing them to screen it again tonight, after all it's only Dante's Peak in that screening room, surely no one would mind. See yall there.

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