El Guapo & Pyul MacTackle take on SCARY MOVIE 3

Hey folks, Harry here with the latest from Pyul and El Guapo on SCARY MOVIE 3... I'm not a big fan of this series or anything the Zuckers have done as a comedy in a while. However, both of these guys seemed to like it, to me... it screams for Cable TV...

Hey Harry,    

Just got back from an advanced, nearly pressless screening of Scary Movie 3, in which several local critics I've gotten to know were asked to leave, despite the fact that they'd been invited by the rep. While I didn't see them, I'm sure a few of your boys were probably ejected as well and as the rep has no clue who I am (since who am I really, aside from some movie loving schlub who sends you a review now and again?) I figured 'What the hell. Miramax has it coming.'    

Or do they? Apparently, as one of my friends told me before he left, Miramax is denying critics nationwide admittance to this film. That can only mean one thing right? Well, not exactly. Personally, I think it's because the marketing department at Miramax/Dimension are a pack of chuckleheaded boobs. Scary Movie 3 certainly isn't anything to be afraid of, especially not when compared to the drek that normally drops off of Dimension's conveyor like production house. In fact, not only did I find Scary Movie 3 funny, I found it the only movie of the series worth watching and probably rewatching.    

When I first heard the words Scary Movie 3, my balls shriveled back deeply into my sack and my sphincter tightened enough to snap a lead pipe in twain. I thoroughly detest the original Scary Movie, which simply put, involved someone taking Kevin Williamson's script to Scream, whiting out certain sections of dialog and penciling in (insert random dick joke here). Wow, let me tell you there's nothing funnier than seeing a women plastered to a ceiling by a geyser of semen. That's fucking Hilarious. Hey, a guy just got stabbed to death with a phallus. Way to go Wayans. That's the classic humor you're known for. It was always frustrating to me how a movie with such base, crude humor that tried desperately to oversell all of it's jokes could do so well, and in fact, do better than the film of which it was a satire. But such is the way of things, and despite the promise of the poster and box art, there was, indeed, a sequel.    

And the sequel sucked just as bad as the original. More of the cock and ball humor without a moment of cleverness or subtlety to be found.    

So the idea of a third installment...well, I think I've detailed that quite enough already. But then I heard Kevin Smith was writing the screenplay. Hope, perchance?. And then another stroke of luck. The Wayan's weren't attached. None of them. I'm sure they're off making Homeboys In Space: The Movie or Homey the Clown: The Movie or some other such nonsense (they're making one of them, I swear!). But who would replace them? David Zucker, one of the reigning kings of slapstick parody. If you want to see a funny parody of ANYTHING movie related, you look for two brand names: Brooks or Zucker/Abrahams.    

Well, since the split of Zucker/Abrahams, David is the only one to really pony up a funny movie. Jim Abrahams crapped out with the notoriously bad Jane Austin's Mafia, and Jerry Zucker turned in the terribly mediocre Rat Race. But David Zucker, well David did a little thing called BASEketball, a movie that has developed a cult following with the resoundingly funny Trey Parker/Matt Stone fans. So would it work here?    

My humble opinion: yes. While certainly not the best Zucker film by a longshot, it's certainly not the tremendous failure that his 'other' recently released comedy 'My Boss's Daughter' is. Scary Movie 3 is hilarious, downright old school, parody style funny. Is it over the top? Yes. Is it utterly ridiculous? Yes. Does it have much of a plot? No. But does it take the other two Scary Movies out behind the woodshed and whoop the living shit out of them? For those of us who hate them, oh HELL YES. This movie is leaps and bounds above it's predecessors, for those of us (and I stress this) that simply do not appreciate the humor of the previous two. As a long time fan of the Zucker/Abrahams formula, this was a refreshing thing to see again.    

What I love about a good Zucker/Abraham's style movie is the fact that they're not quite movies as much as they are live action cartoons. Characters are run over by cars, put through ceiling fans, beaten profusely with baseball bats and come back smiling in the next scene. It's utter ridiculousness to the Nth degree. And that's Scary Movie 3. A PG-13 cartoon riffing on several of the biggest Sci-fi/horror hits in recent years. While much of the humor is slapstick, ball kicking, smacking your head on something you don't see humor, it's tempered with some smart, inconsistency rending humor tearing asunder the films it sets out to parody. To watch this film you'd honestly think that most of what Kevin Smith wrote for it was cut out, but then moments creep up that could have only been written by a fellow geek. "You mean these aliens have mastered space travel but can't open doors?" "Apparently."    

Most of the jokes in here hit pretty well or are at least chuckle worthy to fans of this style of humor. Yeah, some of it doesn't hit right, but the bulk of it works. This movies major flaw is that the ending isn't nearly as funny as the rest of the film as they try to tie the movie up as quickly as possible. That and the famed George Carlin "Architect" scene just doesn't seem as funny once you've seen Will Farrell really nail the Architect better in the Mtv Movie Awards parody of Reloaded. That said, the other portion of the Matrix parody (which is obviously completely reshot from what you see in the trailer) is possibly one of the best Matrix spoofs yet. That leads me to believe I'll be checking this out again on DVD just to see the OTHER Matrix material they had with Eddie Griffin (who still plays Morpheus) because, well, it made me giggle in the trailer "La'Quisha, I'm prophesizing." "I'm Prophesizing my foot up your ass!" The new materials really good, though. In fact Eddie Griffin and Queen Latifah steal the show as far as I'm concerned.    

This movie is all sorts of zany, from nailing M. Night against the wall not only by tackling Signs, but by railing on his cameo from the film, and great little gags like this one (posted on IMDB) when Leslie Nealson says "I wonder what President Ford would do?" http://www.imdb.com/gallery/ss/0306047/Ss/0306047/617-24.jpg?path=gallery&path_key=0306047  If that sort of thing makes you smile, then Scary Movie 3 just might be for you.    

But I have to say, the audience was pretty divided on this one. Best I could surmise, fans of the original shite fests Scary Movies 1 & 2 hated this, or at the very least, were fairly disappointed. But there was alot of laughter in the theater and those that liked Zucker Brothers movies tended to like this one as well. I think the best thing to say about this is that it's the Scary Movie for people who hate Scary Movie. While I can't highly recommend this movie, I can say that I enjoyed it and I'll no doubt watch it again. Take from that what you will.  

Pyul Mactackle

and here's El Guapo...