Hey folks, Harry here... taking some time off from working up the "Stupendous Earth-Shattering Announcement" to bring you Quint's sit down with R. Lee Ermey regarding his career, masturbation and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre...
Ahoy, squirts. Quint here with a salty interview I conducted with the one and only R. Lee Ermey. I interviewed Mr. Ermey a couple weeks ago (the morning of the CHAINSAW MASSACRE Insane Asylum screening that Harry put on) and at that time I hadn't seen the film. If you recall my review, I wasn't too terribly taken with the film, though I dug the look and some of the more far out characters.
Regardless of my opinion of the movie, the below interview is what they like to call "Fucked Up." Ermey is a strange bird. He's an incredibly nice man and a good storyteller, but he goes off on some amazingly detailed tangents below... Let's just say if you were ever curious as to his masturbatory fantasies, then read on.
Here's the interview!
R. LEE ERMEY: Have you seen the show?
QUINT: NOT YET. I'LL SEE IT TONIGHT AT THE SCREENING.
R. LEE ERMEY: I think you're gonna like the show.
QUINT: I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IT...
R. LEE ERMEY: I'll tell ya'... Anybody that is a horror film fan who doesn't like this show is a sick person. That's all I got to say! (laughs)
[At this point, KRAKEN, who was taking pictures for me, asks ERMEY if he's all right with in-interview pics]
R. LEE ERMEY: Do what you want to do. Nothin' bothers me. I've been doin' this for 30 years! I'm starting to get used to it. It's gotten to the point over the years that nothin' makes me nervous. The F15. I went up on the F15 Fighter Jet the other day. That made me a little bit apprehensive. Not nervous, apprehensive, 'cause I knew I was in good hands. I was flying with a Colonel. That Colonel was never going to let anything happen to me. If he was to hurt The Gunny... Jesus Christ, his career'd be spoiled, ruined. He might as well just retire, resign... whatever Colonel's do.
QUINT: IF HE WAS GOING TO CRASH, HE'D BETTER MAKE SURE HE GETS BOTH OF YOU, RIGHT?
R. LEE ERMEY: Make sure he dies, too. Yeah. It'd make all the headlines anyway. He'd be famous! But anyway, I love the show. I saw the show the first time Thursday evening. They were compelled to let me see the show before I came and did interviews because I was making such a nasty stink over it. I said, "I can't promote a show I haven't seen!"
It's a great show. I think it's fantastic. I think it's one to behold. The first TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE is frightening and this one is right up there with the first one.
QUINT: DID YOU SEE THE ORIGINAL WHEN IT CAME OUT?
R. LEE ERMEY: I seen the first one years ago when it came out. I think this one has gotta be one of the best horror shows that have been out for a number of years. I really do. And I think New Line... they're doing a bunch of great stuff now. They did WILLARD. WILLARD was released in March of this year and I co-starred in that show.
QUINT: YEAH, WE DID A SCREENING OF THAT AS WELL, WITH CRISPIN GLOVER HERE.
R. LEE ERMEY: Is that right? They didn't fly me in. El Cheapo, you know. Goddammit! (laughs) New Line and I have a good working relationship. We get along well together and they're doing a long list of horror films, really good ones. They're remaking the old, what was really considered primo horror films, you know, and I'm waiting for 'em to do PSYCHO. I want to play the role of his MOTHER! (laughs) But fun stuff. Good stuff. I'm kinda proud of New Line. They're a little studio that's really rising above it all.
You know, today's modern technology our expertise when it comes to special effects is second to none. I mean, we can make these films very believable, you know? Not like back in the old days with the hokey special effects, these films... you're there. When you sit down in that theater you are there and it is happening. If you have an imagination anywhere near what mine is like... and my imagination... I mean, I still masturbate for Christ's Sakes! I can still visualize Marilyn Monroe and the Playboy bunnies from the '50s...
But, yeah. If anybody's got any imagination at all, they can sit down in the theater with these horror films and just get lost in them. It's fantastic, wonderful to be able to do that.
QUINT: HOW DO YOU COME TO THE ROLE OF THE SHERIFF IN THE FILM?
R. LEE ERMEY: Like I was saying, I was doing WILLARD for 'em. I was co-starring in WILLARD. I was Willard's boss in the show. We were doing so well and they were liking what I was doin'... I do a lot of ad-lib. I really bring a lot of the character, a lot to the screen. I don't like to stick strictly to the script. My attitude is a writer who is writing a script is writing for 20 different people. I'm working with one character. Me. My character.
I feel that I'm just as creative as anybody. I write myself. I'm just as creative as anybody when it comes to writing and I embellish a little bit. I take the liberty to embellish. New Line allows me to get by with that. Some companies won't. Some companies are word for word. That's fine, we'll do it word for word if that's what you want. That's their loss as far as I'm concerned because I can always make it better.
But I was doing this show for New Line up in Canada and along towards the end of the show, they called me. One of the Executive Producers from New Line and asked me if I'd consider doing TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE after we finished with WILLARD. I said, "Well, TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE was a helluva show. It's a wonderful horror film and I think it's a tough act to follow. I don't know. I'd have to read the script before I say Yay or Nay on this one."
So, they sent the script up, I read the script and it was delightful. Delightful script. I said, "Oh, hell yes. Of course!" Off to Texas. I got back from Canada and I was off to Austin. I like shootin' in Texas anyway. I'd damn near kill to be able to do another show in Texas. Soon as I finish here, I'm headed back to LA, but I live in the High Desert. I don't live in the city. I have a ranch out in High Desert. Soon as I get back, I'm gonna start gearin' up. I'll be back in Austin next month to do the Tommy Lee Jones film.
QUINT: THAT'S CALLED "CHEER UP" RIGHT?
R. LEE ERMEY: Yeah. CHEER UP. It is hilarious. I read my scripts in the bathtub and if I splash water out then that means it's a great script. I laugh hard enough to splash water out of the bathtub, and there was water all over the floor when I finished this script... So, I'll be back in Austin next month for about two weeks to do CHEER UP, which is wonderful because I love to come to Austin. I think this is one of the most neatest cities in America. It's a classy little city. Austin's beautiful. My two favorite cities in America are Austin first and Denver, Colorado second. Denver and Austin, my two favorite cities.
QUINT: YOU CAN'T BEAT THE FOOD HERE, THAT'S FOR SURE.
R. LEE ERMEY: If you like chili! (laughs) If you like BBQ and chili, man, I tell ya'. Something Texas really does well. BBQ and chili!
QUINT: WHAT WAS THE MOST MEMORABLE SCENE YOU SHOT FOR "CHAINSAW?"
R. LEE ERMEY: There's a scene where... the first time we meet the Sheriff, he comes to investigate a murder, the death of a young girl, and she is in the back seat of a van. He climbs in the van and he asks one of the boys to help him out and he wraps her butt up in cellophane. Saran wrap, I think we had, you know?
I thought that was a neat scene, but there was no dialogue written and here I was wrapping up this dead body in Saran Wrap and I had no dialogue, so I just started ad-libbing and it turned out to be a great scene. The introduction scene I have in the film is, I think, one of the best scenes I have. It's a very interesting scene. You meet a very strange bird, this Sheriff. He's a very off the wall strange bird. He's funny, but he's lethal if you know what I mean. He's one of those guys you better laugh at his damn corny jokes or he'll kill ya'!
As far as I'm concerned it was probably one of the best scenes. All my scenes are good. They're all fun scenes! Like I say, they allowed me to go on and embellish a little bit. I had a great time doing the entire show. Every scene that I do is the most important scene of my life. All you do is screw up one scene to screw the show up, as far as I'm concerned. No actor ever wants that responsibility. As far as I'm concerned, all the scenes are very important and they're all good.
There's a lot of satisfaction in the end scene. I'm not gonna tell you what happens to the Sheriff at the end, but there will be a lot of viewer satisfaction. As a matter of fact, the audience has been applauding at the end of the show when this happens to the Sheriff. They like him so well by this time, they've formed a bond. A kinship.
It's one of those shows that no one wants to miss. If you're a horror film fan... Even people who don't really thrive on horror films, people really want to go see this show. It's an interesting show. Very entertaining.
QUINT: YOU DID A COUPLE HORROR FILMS BACK IN THE '80S AND NOW YOU HAVE "WILLARD" AND "CHAINSAW." WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE GENRE ITSELF?
R. LEE ERMEY: I've done a few horror films. You know, back in the old days I couldn't be too damn particular. Now I can. For the past 15 years or so I've been able to be selective and particular and I've always had 2 or 3 films to choose from, so I pick what is generally what I think is the best role in the best film. Sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong, but usually I go with my instinct.
I like horror films, I think they're fun to do. And being the bad guy in horror films is just tremendous because the good guys have to make the audience like them. You know as well as I do, it's really easy to make people not like you, but it's difficult, I mean you have to go the extra mile to make folks like you and appreciate you and want to be around you, so the bad guy in a horror film... it's beautiful because you can make people hate your guts. That's what you're after. That's the objective. That's my objective is to be the rudest, nastiest, most obscene unlikable psychopathic sonuvabitch to ever grace the screen. That's my objective when I do one of these horror films 'cause they'd never let me play the good guy, you know that. Not in a horror film. I get to be the bad guy, but it's fun. It's enjoyable and we get paid for it.
QUINT: YOU'VE GOTTEN TO WORK WITH SOME OF THE BEST DIRECTORS IN THE BUSINESS...
R. LEE ERMEY: I've worked with the Coppolas (APOCALYPSE NOW), I've worked with the Kubricks (FULL METAL JACKET), Peter Jackson (THE FRIGHTENERS)... I could just go down the list. Some beautiful directors I've worked with. They're just fantastic.
QUINT: WHAT MAKES A GOOD DIRECTOR?
R. LEE ERMEY: You know, a good director... Directors and producers, of course, hire the cast. A good director is a director who'll stand his ground and make sure that the cast that he's hired is the cast that he's admired... the actors that he hires must be somebody he admires and trusts and has faith in. I'd hate to work with... well, I've worked with several that didn't trust me enough to let me get by with things or push the fold or do things that weren't written. But the director that has the faith in the actors, that's the guy that I'm looking for.
If I was directing a film, I would not hire anybody that, as an actor, that I wouldn't have tremendous faith in, that I couldn't put my trust in his intuition... I'd accept his ideas. When I walk into a set, I put everything on the table. I bring something to the table, I don't just do it as written. I talk about it to the director. I'd say, "You know, Jeez... If I could do it this way or if I could say this... change this to that, it'd be a lot better."
I've worked with directors that were just so timid and untrusting that they wouldn't allow actors to deviate from the script. Actors... SOME actors bring a lot to the table. Others are just content to study the lines and whatever's written that's the way they do it and I call them boring actors, is what I call 'em.
An ideal director is one that listens, pays attention to his actors and considers each change or dialogue changes or script changes. Considers. I don't win 100%, but usually it's about 95% because I don't bring dumb things to the table. If it's not something that's gonna improve the scene, then it stays in the hotel when I leave. I don't bring it to the table. But that's my idea of the ideal director. One that will consider options that actors bring to the table. 'Cause actors... that's what they do for a living. It's what we do. Why not listen to us? Take us seriously when we recommend changes?
Sometimes I've seen some actors bring some pretty dumb things to the table, make some pretty dumb recommendations. On the other hand, I've seen some young people come in and have some really great input that improves the product 100%. One thing an actor must be and it's comfortable with what he's doing. He's gotta be comfortable with what he's doing and believe in what he's doing. If he doesn't believe in what he's doing... well, if he doesn't believe it, the audience is not gonna suck it up either. Basically, that's my idea of a great director. One that pays attention to his actors.
QUINT: WHAT WAS IT LIKE WORKING WITH PETER JACKSON?
R. LEE ERMEY: Peter Jackson... I predicted years ago that Peter Jackson was going to rise above all the other great special effects (movie) people in Hollywood. You know, I think he's done it. LORD OF THE RINGS... Have you seen the first 2?
QUINT: OH YES.
R. LEE ERMEY: I can't wait to see the next one. You know, he's done such a fantastic job and he did 'em all three at the same time. I mean, Jesus Christ, for $100 million or whatever they spent on it... I know they spent less on them than if they would have done each individual show as its own entity, you know that. But I think Peter Jackson is just gonna walk all over Spielberg to tell you the truth.
You look at shows like HEAVENLY (CREATURES). You look at THE FRIGHTENERS... My God! He doesn't just put A ghost in the scene. Jesus Christ, he's got ghosts under the linoleum floor, he's got ghosts slippin' along under the wallpaper... He's got ghosts all over the place. He goes the extra mile. All of his work... it pulls you. It looks so real, it looks so good. Peter Jackson has his own studio, you know. He's just fantastic. He's one of my heroes. Peter Jackson. I can't wait to work with him again. On top of all that, he's a prince among men as well. He's a wonderful person.
QUINT: HOW DID YOU GET INVOLVED IN "THE FRIGHTENERS?" DID YOU SHOOT AT THE STAGES IN WELLINGTON?
R. LEE ERMEY: You bet I did! I was in Australia when Peter Jackson contacted my manager. I was in Australia doing a show called SPACE: ABOVE AND BEYOND. I was in the pilot. Peter said, "Well, he's already in Australia. Could you have him stop by on the way in (Wellington) so I can show him the studio and talk to him about FRIGHTENERS."
I stopped over there and his wife and him met me at the airplane and took me to lunch and then we went to the studio. His wife's a wonderful person, too. Just beautiful people. We bonded, became friends and I went to his studio. I was totally amazed. What amazing stuff! He's trained everybody. I think he's got the most tremendous special effect studio in the world. He's very good at it.
He reminds me a lot of Stanley Kubrick. In stature... he looks like Stanley. He's short and kinda chubby... got that scraggly ol' beard. He reminds me of Stanley just looking at him, but when I watch him work he reminds me of Stanley Kubrick as well. He's a total absolute perfectionist and perfection is what we need. The film industry is one industry where perfection works. Matter of fact, it's mandatory. If you expect to get ahead in this genre, in this business, you better be a perfectionist because you're gonna fall by the wayside if you're not a perfectionist.
QUINT: HE USED YOU IN ROLE THAT YOU AND KUBRICK MADE FAMOUS. PETER WAS ABLE TO PUT IN A GREAT TWIST, THAT YOU ARE A GHOST AND THE PROTECTOR OF THE GRAVEYARD, BUT DO YOU GET TIRED OF PEOPLE WANTING YOU TO DO THAT CHARACTER ALL THE TIME?
R. LEE ERMEY: You know, the only thing I get tired of hearing is people wanting me to lay into them and chew them out. It's not something I can just do, turn on and off. I want to be clean about everything. I mean, here I'm on nation-wide television, on some damn Good Morning America or something, and they want me to turn loose on some guy... You know... I'm gonna swear. If you're talking that fast and your mind is clicking, your mind's gotta stay a few words ahead of your mouth and it's difficult not to swear when you become the drill instructor. That's not what Good Morning America needs and it's not the image that I want to put forth as the drill instructor as well.
That's the only thing that bothers me, is a lot of people ask... You'd be surprised. I've had people walking up to me in the mall handing me a cell phone saying, "Chew out my wife! Chew out my buddy! Chew him out, would you?" Jesus, pal! C'mon, you know... Damn, buddy! I'll be talking to somebody and they'll ask... I bet it's happened 50 times if it has happened once... "Would you talk to my son, would you talk to my husband?" and dialing that cell phone...
I don't know these people from Adam! I don't know your husband, what's his name? What's he like? Does he fish, does he hunt? I'll generally talk to them, but chewin' 'em out... I don't really... Well, like "Get yer lazy ass outta bed?" or something. A light tongue lashing, you might say. That kinda of thing is a little difficult for me. Spur of the moment, off the cuff stuff like that. And usually it's on live television!
I've gotten to the point where I tell them before hand. Don't ask me to do that. I'll give you the first scene outta FULL METAL JACKET or I'll come up with something for you if you want something, but don't ask me to do that. But all the rest of it's good. I don't mind people comin' up to me. Hell, I been doin' this for 30 years, you know. I've gradually grown to the point where I'm at now. I'm damn sure not an overnight success. I wasn't Joe Shit to Ragman one day out here on the streets panhandlin' and got discovered and two weeks later I was a multi-millionaire famous actor. That's Brad Pitt or some of these other guys, not me. It's taken a long time.
So, I've evolved into my station in life. I talk to people, they come up to me all the time and it doesn't bother me in the least bit. I'll talk to them, shake their hand, enjoy their company and I do enjoy it. Most of the people who appreciate my work are nice people. I really boast about that because it's true. The people that seem to be my fans are very respectable. They come up and they excuse themselves... very polite about it. They just want to come up and say hello, you know? I don't have a problem with that at all. I encourage it.
I have a great attitude. I'm one of those guys that say, "When it stops happenin', when people stop comin' up to me and wantin' to say hello and touch me and shake my hand or whatever... then I'll start worryin'." But everything is good.
QUINT: YOU SAID YOU HAVE "CHEER UP" COMING UP. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE IN THE PIPELINE?
R. LEE ERMEY: This one's comin' up. TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE is on the pipeline right now. The critics that have seen the show are lovin' it. I have not seen one bad review or one even mediocre review. I've seen nothing but great reviews for the show. I've seen it myself now, as of Thursday, so I can also join in and say... You know, it's hard for me. I picked a few little petty things that I would have done differently in the film, but shit! That's what we do! That's what I do for a living, so of course I would pick out "I woulda done it this way or that way."
The finished product is a piece of work. It's frightening. It'll keep you on the edge of your seat, no question about it. When Leatherface cranks up that chainsaw, he's got everybody's attention. Just the sound of the chainsaw is terrifying, you know? I think the show is going to be a huge hit.
QUINT: I HAVE ONE MORE QUESTION, ONE THAT I ASK EVERYONE I INTERVIEW. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DIRTY JOKE?
R. LEE ERMEY: You know what? I really don't have time to sit around and tell jokes anymore. I used to back in the old days and I can't come up with a joke right now. I'm settin' here trying to think what a good joke...
Well, I like Joe and Moe, the Pollack jokes! (laughs) So, Moe and Joe are out hunting deer. First time they've ever gone deer hunting. Rookies. Joe shot the deer, they gutted it. They knew they had to gut it, bleed it, cut its throat. They were taking it back to camp and each one of them had a hold of the back leg. You know, a deer... the damn front legs kinda fall forward and it was catching on the brush and trees and every damn thing else. They were really having a difficult time dragging this deer back to camp.
So, they were settin' down taking a break. Moe looks at Joe and goes, "This is tough, deer huntin'. Who woulda thought?" And this guy comes up to him, another hunter, and he says, "I couldn't help but notice you got a nice deer here and everything, but you know you drag it funny. What you do is you get around there and you grab hold of it by the antlers and the front legs just fold down and you slide right through the brush."
So, 'bout half hour later Joe and Moe are pulling it by the antlers. One looked over to other and says, "Boy, you know that guy was right. It certainly is a heck of a lot easier pulling the deer by the horns." Joe looks over and says, "Yeah, but goddammit, we're getting further from the camp all the time."
Not a dirty joke necessarily, but it's a joke. I think my son told me that joke.
That's it, squirts. Told ya' you'd know a lot more about Mr. Ermey than you ever wanted to. Just imagine as you're reading this... he could be sweating with anticipation, hard hand massaging the strong shaft... Then it happens... His heart leaps, his muscles tense and he shoots. It's a big one! He won't go hungry for a while. What? I'm talking about deer hunting... What'd you think I was talking about? What?!? PERV!
Anyway, I have one more CHAINSAW interview for you folks to take a look, this time with an up and coming young actress who has a role as one of the family members. She's a talent you'll soon be seeing lots of, I'm sure. 'Til that day, this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu.
-Quint
email: If you think the R. Lee Ermey doll is Salty, wait'll you get a LOAD of me. Email me here, maggots!!!
