Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
Here we are, a mere two days late on my end. I’m almost back up to speed. Makes you wonder who the real @$$hole is, don’t it?
Cormorant here with dire news: the @$$hole Clubhouse is a house divided! I swear, I've never seen so much dissent over what sucked and what rocked in a given week, and as a result, you'll want to prepare yourself for no less than three reviews featuring @$$holes squaring off against each other like the geekier, inbred cousins of the Hatfields and the McCoys. Not since I pissed all over THE ULTIMATES, causing Buzz Maverik to shrug, light a cigar, and nonchalantly note, "Huh - I liked it, anyway," have we seen such bitter infighting!
Well, as my proctologist warned me with the aid of a series of horrendously graphic diagrams, "An @$$hole divided against itself cannot stand." Hopefully his words of wisdom will lead us to patch things up by next week. In the meantime, this column's dedicated to anyone who ever thought our group was too likeminded…
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #45
Brian Michael Bendis: Writer
Mark Bagley: Artist
Marvel Comics: Publisher
Vroom Socko: Needs therapy?
This is one of those issues that shows just what I love about Bendis. Aunt May is one of the few characters that hasn’t had a great deal of page time devoted exclusively to her. With this issue, we get a doozy of a glimpse into her mindset that actually reminds me of another Aunt May centric comic: Amazing Spider-Man #479 (#38 with the new numbering). That issue showed that the frail Aunt May of the regular Marvel Universe was stronger than you knew. This issue reveals that the relatively strong Aunt May of the Ultimate Marvel Comics is more fragile than we knew.
Set predominantly in a therapist’s office, this story is all about May’s attempts to come to terms with the changes in her life. The death of her husband, along with Gwen Stacy’s presence in her home and Peter’s recent odd behavior, has driven her to near emotional instability. So she’s seeing a shrink. Out of everything in the Ultimate line that’s been referred to as “real,” this is the best, and the most believable.
Not all of the story is therapy, of course. There’s the conversation that May and Peter have following his late night homecoming last issue. There’s also a flashback to the intro of issue #22 as seen from Aunt May’s eyes. But really, this issue is about May, and by the time I’d finished reading it, she’d become one of my favorite Ultimate characters.
Part of that is her opinion on Spider-Man. Back in the day, Aunt May would often wring her hands and talk about “that horrible Spider-Man” every once in a while, but here it goes deeper. It’s not that May hates Spider-Man; rather she hates what he represents. Here’s this unknown person running around in public wearing tights, and he does whatever he wants. It’s possible he even lives in her neighborhood. And Peter has to grow up in a world where this sort of person is allowed to run around and not be held accountable. This scares the living hell out of her. Wouldn’t it scare you, really?
I’m not a big fan of the Ultimate line, but I am a fan of Ultimate Spider-Man. For a while now my favorite issue of the run has been #28, but this one just beat it.
Howdy folks – Cormorant here, and being the @$$hole editor, I'm abusing my powers to hijack the end of Vroom's review to express a harsh note of DISSENT! Oh I'll grant this issue has some inspired bits of writing, but is this the kind of story you want from a Spider-Man comic?! Looking at the sales figures for this title, I guess the answer's "yes" for the increasingly graying audience of superhero fans, but I'll tell ya - no matter the quality of writing on a core Spider-Man title, I will always and forever have to put it through the "kid test" in evaluating it. That is, I return to the mindset of the eight-year-old mini-Corm I once was, watching the mailbox anxiously each day in wait for the next issue of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, and I ask myself whether that inner eight-year-old would like what he sees when it finally comes in... or not.
Aunt May.
Therapist.
Twenty-two pages.
Guess what mini-Corm thinks?
And even as an adult, I've come to the conclusion that Bendis overwrites like a motherfucker. Guy's got a great understanding of his characters and all kinds of neat ideas about revealing them, but he literally crams these ideas down the reader's throat by explaining EVERY! LITTLE! NUANCE! OF! THEM!
In the longest possible way.
Which I consider to be poor writing.
CORM! ARE YOU STEALING MY GIMMICK?
Oh shit, Vroom's headed this way, and he's got one of his dorky mail-order swords with him. If you'll excuse me...
YEAH, YOU'D BETTER RUN!
POWERS #33
Brian Michael Bendis, Michael Avon Oeming
Image Comics
reviewed by: Lizzybeth
I stopped reading POWERS around issue #25. I believe that was the issue where a certain “golden showers” videotape was circulated concerning the classic hero (in the Powers universe), The Red Hawk. It’s not that I objected to that particular issue - though I could have lived without it quite happily - but that, with another superhero sex scandal storyline kicking into place, the series was looking a little one-note. The premise of superheroes as celebrities, complete with trashy Powers-related tabloids and backroom deals, was wearing thin. And after a short diversion where Walker quit the force, inevitably things seemed to be reverting to same-old. When I found myself flipping to the always-entertaining lettercol over the actual content of the book, it seemed like a good time to drop the book.
Recently, on a friend’s recommendation I picked up the series again and discovered that, hey, that last story did go somewhere after all. Right where I left off, a major storyline went into play. The sex scandal became a catalyst for one of the Powers superheroes to come completely unhinged, destroying much of Utah, the Gaza strip, and the Vatican in an effort to rid humanity of religious ties (and a few million inhabitants). At the end of issue 30, Deena Pilgrim emerged from a coma to find the world in a barely controlled state of panic, with no one knowing what caused the destruction and all Powers being outlawed as a precautionary measure. Then, as if killing the Pope wasn't jarring enough, the series without warning leapt back in time. Way back. The current storyline, “Forever”, opened with ancient proto-humans (basically monkeys) witnessing the first displays of superhuman powers, which emerged as two combatants tussled over who got to (vividly) mate with the female. Huh. These two apes battle each other into exhaustion, then go off in separate directions. End of issue. Then we fast-forward a few thousand years, to a warrior named Gora, who is deciding that it’s not quite so honorable to be the greatest warrior in the kingdom when you’re literally un-killable. Again, mysterious Gora, looking suspiciously like the mysterious ape-man of the previous issue, and both looking a lot like Detective Christian Walker, fights to a stand-still with an equally super-powerful rival.
Paradigm shift? Well, not exactly. If this current issue is any clue, these events are going to tie in very closely with the Walker and Pilgrim team of present-day, as opposed to being a prolonged Powers romp through history. In #33 we watch another mysterious superpowered hero - this time still calling himself Gora, though with no memory of the past two issues - as he arrives at the Woshu Mountain Temple, where others like him have gathered. There he learns that there are beings like himself who have lived for centuries, perhaps longer, with extraordinary powers. Many of them have no memory of where they came from or what they had done before they came there. Somewhere between human and divine, they sequester themselves on this mountain, welcoming anyone powerful enough to reach them and shunning the rest, even the poor Chinese peasants who plead to them for help against western invaders. Here it becomes even more clear just how this story connects to the last. Gora’s arguments in favor of intervening with the peasants, coming down from Mount Olympus/Woshu to protect their patrons, echo some of the lines from issue #30 that were used to justify destroying the Vatican and large portions of the Middle East by the crazed modern superhero. “Why am I different from them?” “Why should we involve ourselves with this?” “Why don’t we just conquer the people and do with them what we want?” Which seems to be boiling down to the question, in my mind at least, of “what is the responsibility of the powerful for the weak?” How POWERS will answer this question is unclear – in this issue, it appears they choose to intervene in the affairs of normal humans, as we know from the future they will continue to do. But we also know that the future holds troubling times for the super-powered, and it is possible that their decision has not been the correct one.
All of which I could have missed out on. Maybe the lesson here is to see how a storyline plays out before giving up on a book. Or maybe just that Brian Michael Bendis really does know what he’s doing after all. Okay, maybe he’s off somewhere snickering that he’s tricked us all into thinking so, but maybe it *is* possible that the guy can write an armload of titles at once and make all of them awesome. I know he’s not to everyone’s taste, but he writes the kind of comics I like: introspective, idea-based, obsessed with interaction and word-play. His pace is not so much glacial as deliberate, showing just enough of what’s around the corner to distract you from what’s happening behind your back. And he has collaborators with the talent to translate his conversational style into the comics idiom – no easy feat – perhaps the best of which is Michael Avon Oeming.
In #33 Oeming’s art has the kind of exuberance that tells you he’s been looking forward to this issue for some time. We know already from his BASTARD SAMURAI, BULLETPROOF MONK, and HAMMER OF THE GODS excursions that he’s got a thing for Chinese warriors and settings, and here he’s got a whole bunch of them to play with. There are no fewer than three splash pages in this issue, and even more grand, nearly wordless, sequences between. Though Oeming’s art is equally outstanding on his own titles, it never looks better than when he’s working with Bendis and colorist Peter Pantazis on Powers. This series is one of their best collaborative efforts, giving them a chance to leave behind the building-block architecture of the modern city for the prickly distant past.
If perhaps you got away from this title at some point, as I did, now is a good time to take a look at POWERS and see if this unusual deviation from previous issues catches your fancy. I have confidence now that this title is going somewhere new and different (and hopefully better!). And hell, at this point, it’s good to see an ongoing title that’s going anywhere at all.
WONDER WOMAN #195
Writer: Greg Rucka
Pencils: Drew Johnson
Inks: Ray Snyder
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug
Owch, my aching taint! I am SO much on the fence with this new WONDER WOMAN relaunch that I’m not going to be able to sit right for weeks. Greg Rucka, writer of the entertaining WONDER WOMAN: THE HIKETEIA Hardcover Graphic Novel, is back, and he’s promising big things for Princess Diana. Issue #195 is titled “The Mission” and basically, that’s what it is - a mission statement to the fans from the creators as to what to expect in the coming months. It's an issue filled with highs and lows. It ain’t all golden, but it doesn’t smell as bad a recent attempts to make Diana interesting.
“The Mission” spends a whole lotta time introducing us to Diana’s new supporting cast. Alana Dominguez is Wonder Woman’s secretary. She does nothing interesting in this issue. Rachel Keast is Diana’s legal counsel. She’s by-the-book and not interested in small talk. Peter Garibaldi is Diana’s PR person. He’s bald. And then there’s Ferdinand. He’s a chef…and a minotaur. Rounding out this dynamic cast is Jonah McCarthy, the new guy. These guys are the guys behind the gal with the hooker boots and lasso. They handle legal issues, publicity, and all other aspects of Diana’s life because aside from being a member of the JLA, she’s also the Amazonian Ambassador to Man’s World.
The problem is that none of these guys are really all that interesting. The issue focuses on Jonah, who, with the reader, is being introduced to Diana’s personal and professional life. I can appreciate this approach at storytelling. Seeing our heroine through fresh eyes is a good way to re-introduce us to a character who has been around for years, forced to undergo reboot after reboot. But I liked this approach better the first time…when it was done five years ago in BLACK PANTHER. Jonah is basically FriendRoss from Priest’s now defunct series over at that other big comic book company. Jonah, however, has but an inkling of the character that made Ross unique and interesting. Sure he gushes when Superman comes to visit. Sure he’s taken aback by the bull handling the fine china. But it's nowhere near as fun as what Priest did in an extremely similar situation with an extremely similar character.
One thing I can appreciate is Rucka’s decision to show the “all too normal” world that supports the dynamic lifestyle that Diana lives. Like another Princess in this reality, Diana is constantly in the spotlight - making public appearances, working on peace missions, and speaking out on world issues. It’s nice to get a glimpse at the undynamic details that make up a truly spectacular woman. But a glimpse is all we need. If I wanted to see four panels of a minotaur slicing carrots, I’d tune into the Bovine Cooking Network on All-Carrot Tuesday.
As I read this issue, all I could think of is that this is a very “Marvel” DC book. The pace is slow. The action is nil. And true to recent Marvel form, THE MAIN CHARACTER DOESN’T EVEN SHOW UP UNTIL THE SECOND TO LAST PAGE! Please, DC, please. You were my only hope to tell straightforward superhero adventures. Don’t go the Marvel way. Time will show that these cinematic, stretched-out storytelling techniques and decisions to write books starring everyone but the name on the cover do nothing but frustrate the readers. Turn back. There’s still time.
But I can’t shit all over this issue. It was a hell of a lot more interesting than Jiminez’s stale run and Walter Simonson’s recently completed and GOD-FREAKING-AWFUL story arc. Rucka has a gift for dialog and he’s planting some seeds that may prove to be interesting in future issues. Diana is going to publish a book compiling her thoughts, speeches, and memoirs. These never-before published discourses are said to be a proclamation of how the Earth should be run. I don’t see the Earth’s populace taking too well to that concept. It sounds a bit like what Jurgens is doing over in his truly excellent run on THOR, only in a subtler fashion. We also find out that a book tour is being scheduled, but Diana’s assistants and we the readers know she isn’t going to be making a lot of these appearances since she splits half her days fighting angry Greek Gods and Giganta. These little snippets of things to come show me that Rucka has something intriguing planned out for our heroine.
Art-wise, this issue was a strong intro to Drew Johnson’s pencils and Ray Snyder’s inks. They do what this book needs to do: they draw a truly breathtaking Wonder Woman (when she finally shows up). Reminiscent of cover artist Adam Hughes, this art team holds promise. The rest of the characters may be a bit stilted and posed at times as they go about their daily regimen, but I expect great things from this pairing as soon as Wonder Woman actually gets to do something.
So do you see why I’m in agony? Rucka’s premise holds promise, but his execution in this intro issue failed to entertain. The Marvelized way this book was produced made me groan as I finished it, but the hope for a Wonder Woman done right will keep me coming back for the next issue. DC is putting a lot of hype behind this new direction for Wonder Woman. Rucka promises big things are ahead. But if this issue is any indication of how Rucka plans on following through with those plans, I don’t expect this reboot to have any more impact than the last twelve guys who tried and failed to make this character worth reading.
MARIA'S WEDDING (TPB)
Nunzio De Filippis, Christina Weir, Jose Garibaldi
Oni Press
Reviewed by: Lizzybeth
I went to my family reunion a few weeks ago. It wasn’t nearly as painful as I thought it would be. Sure, I had to pretend to remember a bunch of second cousins I hadn’t seen since I was eleven, and I had to hear the same round of fishing stories way too many times (yes, my family is from the Midwest), but I came out clean on the other side. I figure I should get extra karma points for flying in from the east and enduring hours of questioning on why I would leave the holy bible belt for the coastline of iniquity. It was neat to get together with all these kids I grew up with and wonder how we ever managed to turn into adults. I even got to meet my brother’s girlfriend, though why she’d want to go to someone else’s family reunion I can’t imagine. It’s hard enough for me to keep track of all my grandparents’ siblings and cousins and their respective offspring, but for her to spend a whole day being introduced to a hall full of strangers she’ll never keep straight and likely will never meet again sounded like an exercise in semi-masochistic futility. She seemed to have a good time though. She likes my brother well enough to be interested in where he comes from and what those people are like. I guess it’s also kind of strangely comforting to be in a place where folks at the base of it all genuinely like each other, for no reason more simple or more complex than because they pretty much have to.
Reading MARIA’S WEDDING is sort of like attending someone else’s family function – at first you’re not really sure who’s who and what’s going on and what it all means. You see people glowering over things that happened way before you came on the scene, sometimes things from years ago. Even before the bits and pieces get handed to you, you can sense the significance of each interchange and of this day, not just for the bride and groom but for the whole family. You see, the last time the Pirelli clan of MARIA’S WEDDING had a big event, it was a near disaster. Joseph, brother to protagonist Frankie, married his boyfriend Matthew in a traditional church service after a long and open courtship. Not only did some family members refuse to attend, they encouraged the rest of the family to follow suit, and it cast a pall over the whole affair. The conflict was never quite settled, and the residual tension is thick at this wedding service. It falls to Frankie, in his mind at least, to confront those certain spoilers in defense of his brother, but he is reluctant to disrupt his cousin’s wedding. Though he doesn’t particularly admire her choice of groom, Maria is his friend from childhood, and he is there to support her. He’s also there to some degree to see the lovely Brenna, Maria’s bridesmaid and his longtime crush. Frankie and Brenna have been dancing around the relationship issue for so long that practically everyone at the wedding is giving them a nudge and thumbs-up.
This is probably their last chance to get it together, now that both of them have left their hometown. But Frankie feels a responsibility to keep an eye on things, to confront his bitter aunt Giulia, to make sure the boorish groom Victor doesn’t embarrass Maria on her wedding day, to make sure his grandmother - the elder Maria - is tended to, and that all the different characters that make up his family tree can keep it together for one more special day. So you’re watching a parade of faces go by that you can’t quite keep straight and scenes that are over too quickly, and then the crowd disperses and you’re speeding off again with Frankie, going back to his plane to LA. And, in the end, you’re still glad you came along.
Lest you think this is some sort of My Best Friend’s Big Fat Monsoon Wedding thing, I must point out that the ceremony itself takes up about a page, there is no soap opera plot to break up the happy couple, and the writing overthrows quirky ethnic simplifications to focus on the fairly universal, and complicated, dynamic of large families. The book gets a little close to preachiness on the issue of Joseph and Mathew’s wedding, but it is saved by Joseph and Matthew themselves, who are graceful under pressure but human enough to be a little annoyed with Frankie’s need to be offended on their behalf. While some characters get the short shrift due to a large cast and limited space, it only strengthens for me the sense of depth for the family as a whole, if not for each individual person. It makes me want to see more of these characters, but more than that, it makes me want to see more of these projects. I love the format of these one-shots, their clean black-and-white art, their bookstore-friendly trade-paperback design, and the confidence exuded by their creators and their publisher, all seemingly unconcerned with what everyone else expects a comic ought to be. Oni Press does better single-volume tales than perhaps any other publisher these days, and this is one to be proud of.
STARTLING STORIES: THE THING - LAST LINE OF DEFENSE
Written by Ron Zimmerman
Art by Don Kramer, Scott Hanna, Sandu Florea
Published by Marvel
An @$$hole 2-In-1 Review by Buzz Maverik & Vroom Socko
Buzz: Awright, line up because each and every one of you are going to give Ron Zimmerman a little kissy on his behind, because you owe this writer an apology. Don't try to wussy out of it. You told the jokes, you bitched on this internet thing and you were wrong about Zimmerman, so prepare to smooch his butt and hope that he, unlike SOUTH PARK'S Cartman, doesn't choose to fart when you do.
I didn't read Zimmerman's PUNISHER dream story, which was supposed to have been written as a last minute fill-in, and featured the Punisher dreaming about killing Al Capone. This story pissed a lot of people off. I didn't read it because I haven't liked what Marvel has been doing with the Punisher since all this Marvel Knights garbage started, so I don't know if the story was good or bad. It sounds okay. Comics used to have dream stories all the time because people didn't take comics as religion and they knew there was always going to be the next comic book. I'll have to read this story, though. Maybe it does suck dingleberries.
All I know is that in the olden days, when comics never missed their deadlines, they always had back up stories ready to run. A lot of them in the '70s were written by a guy named Bill Mantlo. Many of them were awful, but no big deal. Mantlo became a longtime HULK writer and still has loyal fans.
After the PUNISHER fill-in, Zimm did that little "Spider-Man vs. Jay Leno" thing. Never did think it was as bad as everyone kept telling me. I ignored the KRAVEN GOES TO HOLLYWOOD thing because I ignore most comic books. I got on the anti-Zimmerman bandwagon when Greyhaven reposted a column he did for them here and it seemed kind of mean-spirited. But if all of the @$$holes (except for me) can forgive Greyhaven for calling us "yeast infections," I can forgive a mean-spirited column. I mean, Zimmerman was a Hollywood screenwriter. Everyone in Hollywood is mean-spirited.
Hollywood. I think that was one of the things that alienated fans from Zimmerman. I always got the impression that Marvel was awed by his T.V. credits, some of which are pretty cool, but it was like they'd landed Aaron Spelling or even Tori Spelling. In all fairness, Zimmerman probably does rank above Randy Spelling except that Randy can always move back home.
What the hell am I supposed to be reviewing again? Ah, a little liquor always refreshes my memory (something about the dying brain cells that helps me focus). STARTLING STORIES: THE THANG -- LAST LINE O' DEFENSE. What is it about the Thang, a.k.a. Aunt Petunia's Favorite Blue-Eyed Nephew Bashful Benjamin J. Grimm, that brings out the best in writers for great one-shots and minis? Evan Dorkin is currently giving us an excellent STARTLING STORIES: THE THANG -- NIGHT FALLS ON YANCY STREET. Last year, we had Geoff Johns with an equally excellent THE THANG : FREAK SHOW. Marvel, I thank you for these series and for the HUMAN TORCH Tsunami series. It's good to see Marvel using some of its oldest heroes so well.
This book is graced with bold art by Don Kramer. His Ben Grimm is misshapen; monstrous yet roguish. Kramer does great action, movement and character. He gives the Thang a cocky, fighter jock smirk. Ol' Blue Eyes might not be the strongest S.O.B. in the Marvel Universe any more, but he knows what he's got and how to use it. Kramer's close-ups and action scenes communicate Grimm's thoughts far better than all that obtuse first-person narration we usually get in modern comics.
Zimmerman and Kramer ignore modern Marvel style storytelling and you owe them big time for that! They give us our money's worth. Lots of detail, insight and action on each page! None of these sparse, half-page panels. Marvel's Standard Operating Procedure would also require that all we see of the Thing in a single issue is his left ankle. But here we get a trio of stories with Grimm squaring off against actual super characters, told with humor, love of the characters, and liberating, testosterone powered action.
This is the real Marvel Universe. The one that was stolen by supervillains about five or six years ago. Somehow, there's been a crack in the Unreality and this story has broken through.
What'd they do wrong? Ron, Don, I have to tell you ... Nick Fury and Ben Grimm would never, ever, not ever, never drink light beer. They'd drink heavy beer. With extra calories. And extra alcohol. And maybe even radioactive isotopes.
Ready to be pissed off by me? After Bill Jemas fires new writer Rodrigo Montalban-Lamas from the FANTASTIC FOUR, he should immediately turn the book over to Ron Zimmerman. With Don Kramer, Scott Hanna and Sandu Florea on the art.
Vroom: Psst, hey. Over here. Don't tell Buzz, but I've hijacked his review, just like Cormorant did with mine. Sorry, but I need to point out that Last Line of Defense isn't what Buzz says it is. In fact it's a textbook example of mediocre.
Zimmerman, as I've said before, is just not funny. Never was. Never will be. But he is getting better. In fact, this is the best book of his I've read. Of course, that's not saying much...
This particular one-shot (wait a second, a ONE-SHOT? Marvel still makes those?) features The Ever-Luvin' Blue-Eyed Thing on a trip into the middle of the desert at the behest of Nick Fury. While he's waiting for the fun to start, Ben sits back with a cold one and tells his rather green army driver a few stories abut being a superhero. One is about a time when he fought The Wrecker in Times Square, the second details a meeting he had with the Inhumans, and the finale is a throwdown inside the Baxter Building with Blastaar.
Okay now, here's what works: The Wrecker story is a great fight. I mean one hell of a slobberknocker. That part was fun. So was the interaction between Ben and the young Corporal Charlie Proctor. The potential I saw in the first ten pages of Rawhide Kid has been developed a bit. Not much, mind you, but it's noticeable. Also, Don Kramer is one helluva artist. Should Marvel decide to give The Thing his own ongoing book again, Kramer'd better be the first person they call.
What doesn't work, you ask? Pretty much everything else. Normally I'd be a bit more lenient on the Fury stuff, since it's obviously meant to be nothing more than a framing device, but I didn't buy it for a second. I don't want to give anything away, but the "problem" Fury needed Ben for hardly seemed that urgent. It's something that happens all the damn time, so why send Ben out to, essentially, make it worse? Then there's the other two stories Ben tells the grunt. They suck. The Inhumans one has too many of Ol' Ron's unfunny jokes, and the Blastaar one... well, it just felt phony. Besides, I just can't recommend a book that has a character misquoting "Sympathy For The Devil" so blatantly.
So yeah, not that great. The good news is that, slowly but surely, Ron Zimmerman is learning how to write comics, and I look forward to the day he stops his vain attempts to be funny. When that happens, I think we'll see a writer that at the very least is a competent and decent craftsman. Until then, he's just another funny guy who's really not funny.
CINNAMON: EL CICLO # 1
Written by Jen Van Meter
Art by Francisco Paronzini & Robert Campanella
Published by DC
Reviewed by Buzz Maverik
El Ciclo is Spanish for "The Ciclo."
CINNAMON: EL CICLO # 1 is a modern day Western taking place mostly in Mexico about a female hired gun who finds that another gunslinging woman is hunting for her. Written by Jen Van Meter with pencils by Francisco Paronzini, the book has that wild, EL MARIACHI feel to it. Notice that I said EL MARIACHI and not DESPERADO because EL MARIACHI was DESPERADO with restraint and without the stain of the Hong Kong influence (man, I'm praying for a return to form on ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO), but I digress. Anybody remember filmmaker Alex Cox? CINNAMON might remind you of STRAIGHT TO HELL, except with sanity. Or if Jim Jarmusch and the dead Sam Peckinpah ever directed a film together.
Much like UNFORGIVEN, this story is looking at the consequences of violence. Van Meter and Paronzini are showing us that violence and vengeance are a cycle. Cinnamon's policeman father was shot while off duty. She has sought revenge. But has she become what she hates? And who is seeking vengeance on her ?
The book features a number of excellent shoot-outs. For some reason, Cinnamon's shoot-outs are portrayed better than the one where we're shown what her nemesis Marisol can do. Somehow, Marisol is able to move in bullet-time and get close enough to a gunman to disable him with a kick to the hip (?). Artists need to refer to the comic book art of one Mr. Frank Miller. When Frank places his characters in a fight scene, everyone is positioned so that the actions make sense and are at least humanly possible. That's really my only complaint.
Cinnamon is a great character so far. Like Clint Eastwood's Will Muny in UNFORGIVEN, she knows she's done wrong and that sooner or later, she will have to pay for her own crimes. Van Meter portrays her so well, not as some posing cowgirl badass, but as a troubled person gone very wrong.
The last pair of panels in the book show a great melding of writing and art. A character asks Cinnamon why she wants to go to L.A. With the sad look of someone accepting their destiny, she holds up her six-gun and says, "Somebody there owes me something."
DAREDEVIL #50
Written by Brian Michael Bendis
"Art" by Alex Maleev
Published by MARVEL
Reviewed by Ambush Bug and Vroom Socko - AN @$$HOLE TWO-IN-ONE REVIEW
The cover of DAREDEVIL #50 depicts an unmasked Matt Murdock lounging in an easy chair. This image is pretty much indicative of the amount of thrills that have been occurring in this comic lately. Hi, I'm Ambush Bug. Some of you may remember my in-depth analytical review of DAREDEVIL from a few months ago. And you know what? I still think this book reeks. I really can’t believe it's as popular as it is. I can’t believe that MARVEL and WIZARD have convinced the sheep to buy into the constipated plot-pacing, the indecipherable art, and the complete absence of any type of editorial control. Let’s dive right into specifics, shall we?
There was a time when you would get "slam bang" issue after issue, then a downbeat tale in between for the writers (and the readers) to catch their breath. Comics used to be a wild ride, a form of escape from the monotony of everyday life. The quiet issues punctuated the action and allowed everyone to gather their wits before a new threat loomed. Now the opposite is the case and I believe it all started with DAREDEVIL’s relaunch. Bendis is a good writer, I’ll give you that. Daredevil has always been a more introspective character, I give you that too. Slugfests were never the reason why people bought into the character, but even in Frank Miller’s most character-driven tales, he was able to squeeze in some action here and there. For the last two years, since Matt Murdock’s identity was made public, you could count the number of action scenes on the hand of a clumsy wood-shop teacher.
"Hardcore" is Bendis’ answer to all of the critics who have complained that the name on the cover says DAREDEVIL - THE MAN WITHOUT FEAR, not THE UNEVENTFUL ADVENTURES OF BLIND GUY AND HIS EQUALLY BLIND GIRLFRIEND. In the last five issues, we’ve seen the return of Typhoid Mary, Kingpin, and everyone’s favorite Eggo-faced assassin, Bullseye. You’d think that this would shut me up, but it doesn’t.
You see, as usual, Bendis is all about the build-up and let-down. We’ve heard that issue #50 was going to be a doozy. That the events in this issue would affect the character for months and years to come. But nothing really happens. Once again, Daredevil fights Kingpin. Remember the speech recently seen in Loeb and Lee’s BATMAN where the Batman fights the Joker "for the last time"? You know the one. It starts off with, "This time I take you down for good," then adds a little, "He’ll never stop. I fight him over and over," with a pinch of "You’ve gone too far this time!" and "How many times do I have to fight him?" thrown in for good measure. It’s every lame-ass, "final" fight scene we’ve seen between every arch-nemesis and every hero in every other book. Are we really supposed to believe that this is the last Kingpin/Daredevil battle? Hell, no. So why is this issue special again?
Well, one thing we get to see that I’ve never seen before is a depiction of Daredevil’s skills as a driver. As I read through the story and saw that Daredevil, not just once, but twice, crashes a car through a building, I nearly shit my pantaloons at the absurdity of it all. We have a blind guy DRIVING A FRIKKING CAR. This is almost at bad as the feat of strength Daredevil exhibited a few issues ago when he tipped a limo carrying three men and a lady onto its side. Adrenaline rush aside, DD has never had that kind of muscle. A Volkswagen tipped? Maybe. But a stretch limo is pushing it. I pick these nits because obviously the editors at Marvel (the guys paid to pick these nits) are failing miserably at their jobs. I don’t care if Bendis writes rainbows and craps a manifesto nightly, the guy needs to have someone keep him in check. Blind guys don’t drive cars. I don’t care how many of his senses are heightened. I ask you, kind reader, what kind of radar sense works through a windshield?
At this point, you might be saying, "But you’re complaining about no action in the book and Bendis gives you an issue-long slugfest, @$$hole! You just can’t be satisfied." Maybe not. But Bendis may not be completely at fault here. Alex Maleev is the biggest hack in comics. He is completely unqualified to draw action. He’s not drawing - he’s tracing photos. And they are bad photos. During the extended fight scene, we are treated to a montage of panels from different artists from previous DAREDEVIL runs. Any one panel by any of these artists draws circles around anything I have ever seen produced by Mr. Maleev. In fact, Maleev probably couldn’t even draw a circle. He’d probably just take a photo of a circle and then trace it. The action is stilted, monotonous, and dull, dull, DULL. Maleev’s art may be fitting in scenes where people are sittin’ and talkin’, but as soon as the action starts, his under-qualification to be a dynamic comic book artist shines like an albino’s ass.
"Hardcore" failed on every level as an answer to my woes concerning the non-action aspect of this book. The action was unbelievable, even in the context of the universe in which it took place in, and the art was unable to show said action without producing all-encompassing yawns. Bendis’ fascination with Matt Murdock over the Daredevil aspect of his life combined with Maleev’s unfollowable art attempts make for one of the worst action comic book pairings in history. I can’t wait for David Mack’s return. Maybe he will bring some much needed juice to a comic that left me bored and slumped in a chair, much like our hero on the cover of this issue.
Hey guys, Vroom here again. I'm sneaking into yet *another* review to show just how wrong some of my associates can be. Yes, Bug is very, very wrong about this issue.
But he's not wrong about Maleev's artwork, though. While the first three pages, showing the details of the mob's retirement program, are damn near perfect, Maleev simply can't draw a fight scene to save his life. While there's plenty of atmosphere to his work, there's no sense of motion, no vitality. The art simply isn't alive in the way that the panels by Gene Colan, Klaus Jansen, John Romita Sr. and Mike Oeming are.
But to wonder why this issue is special? It almost makes *me* wonder. This issue is the perfect capstone to Bendis' run so far. I'd hate to spoil the ending for anyone, but by the time this goes up the book will have been out for about a week, so what the hell. Here's just a sample of Daredevil's little speech to the bar full of thugs at the end:
"If you people so badly need some sort of Kingpin, someone to lord over you, well, from now on...it's me."
"I am not protecting this city any more."
"I am RUNNING IT!!"
That's right, MATT MURDOCK IS THE NEW KINGPIN OF CRIME! Not only that, he makes this announcement while unmasked! This is enthralling stuff. You see, for most of Bendis' run, Matt has been denying his life as Daredevil, and not just to the press. In many ways, he's been denying it to himself. Now he's not only embraced it, he's also decided to utilize the ways and means of his enemy in order to clean up Hell's Kitchen. As much as I'm looking forward to Mack's follow-up to "Parts of a Hole," I want to see the ramifications of this decision even more. While Daredevil may not be the perfect comic (Matt's conversation with Foggy in issue #34 is the most extraneous of redundancies), or even the best of Bendis (my vote goes to Torso), it's still a damn good read.
Y: THE LAST MAN #14
Writer: Brian K. Vaughan
Artist: Pia Guerra
Colorist: Pamela Rambo
Publisher: DC Comics / Vertigo
Diatribe by Cormorant
This isn't a full-on review of Y: THE LAST MAN, but rather a friendly reminder to DC Comics, especially the Vertigo line, that yes, comics are STILL a visual medium! After reading the latest Y: THE LAST MAN I feel this is a necessary reminder, what with it featuring some of the blandest, most vanilla, most uninspired visuals I've had the misfortune to see all year.
'Cept maybe for those Calafiore-drawn issues of EXILES…
Now don't get me wrong – this latest Y still has the same fan-fucking-tastic writing that's placed it in my top five comics since its debut, and while Pia Guerra's penciling is a little straightforward for my tastes, it's still a decent realist fit in the tradition of Steve Dillon on PREACHER, but the coloring, man…THIS IS THE KIND OF THING THAT DRIVES PEOPLE AWAY FROM VERTIGO COMICS!
The specific problem? The entire issue takes place in and around a bunch of fields in Kansas. The sky is a certain color of blue and the grass and bushes are broken down into a whopping two shades of green. And literally every page is dominated by this painfully bland two-tone color scheme. Blue. Green. Blue. Green. Blue. Green. And it's the same blue and green, without even some variant shades just to spice things up. Look, I know it's Kansas we're talking, and I know the book shoots for identifiable realism, but bland art is still bland art, and in a visual medium, that's a killer.
And it's unnecessary. Everyone here's seen FARGO, right? Lots of snowy white in that film – almost to the point that the snow's it's own character – but like all the Coen Brothers films, it looks gorgeous. They always have enthralling cinematography, whether dealing with the Texas plains of BLOOD SIMPLE or the harsh-yet-appealing corporate aesthetic of the screwball comedy, THE HUDSUCKER PROXY. These guys are working within the confines of film, where the nature of the technology all but forces creators to bend to reality, yet they still shape it to be visually pleasing. In the medium of comics, where the visuals are still hand-crafted, it's nothing short of ridiculous that visuals should get this bland.
Inject some touches of expressionism! Just because technology's allowed us to escape the four-color palette of old that required a degree of abstraction doesn't mean we have to throw out subjective coloring entirely! For a perfect example of combining subjective coloring with a realist aesthetic, I submit the work of Richmond Lewis on BATMAN: YEAR ONE. I don't normally take great note of coloring unless it's particularly bad or particularly good, and this project's always stood out as an example of the latter. Flip through the trade next time you're at the store – the coloring is an amazing addition to the gritty visuals, absolutely bolstering the sense of realism despite the fact there are only a handful of scenes the feature realistic coloring. And Lewis doesn't hesitate to bathe entire scenes in unnatural colors. Yet would anyone dare to say the book loses its realistic edge as a result? Hell no!
But subjective coloring isn't the only option – hell, I'd just be satisfied with a richer variety of colors, as seen coming from Studio F in the pages of recent WOLVERINE issues, or Alex Sinclair in ARROWSMITH, or Brian Reber in RUNAWAYS. Y: THE LAST MAN is more notably writer-driven than some of these titles, but that's not really an excuse for visuals that actually make you want to stop reading, is it? Talented artists should be able to make any locale interesting.
And I wouldn't bring this up if Y wasn't such a consistently excellent title, still fraught with fascinating new angles on gender politics, a darkly cool road trip vibe, and enough twists and turns that I can never know what to expect from one issue to the next. It's just that, as one of Vertigo's buzz books and one of their titles best-suited to enticing non-comics-readers, it really should look good. Right now, it's barely passing, a victim of the generically realistic Vertigo house style that's as much an Achilles Heel as any superhero house style. Maybe this issue was just rushed or something, since I've never had cause to take note of the book's coloring in the past (for good or ill). Still, that pernicious blue-green-blue-green was so off-putting that it brought into focus for me how utterly goddamn forgettable Vertigo books tend to look, and I had to get it out.
Recommendation to DC: spice up the visuals on your justly famous mature readers line before the blandness becomes any more of a cliché. I like what you've done with BEWARE THE CREEPER.
Recommendation to readers: keep reading Y, because it's still one of the best books on the market, and if you've never tried it, buy the two trades.
Recommendation to everyone: bust out those issues of BATMAN: YEAR ONE for a look at true coloring genius. It's interesting to note that Richmond Lewis completely re-colored the trade, presumably because it was printed on superior paper to the original miniseries it collected, but both versions rank among my favorite coloring jobs ever.
