Hey folks, Harry here with what I promise is the last story on this film that I'll post... now, there's no telling what that cur, Moriarty will do, but for me... I'm out, ain't got no more... the jizz is spent with this final drop from the Seaman.... Here's Quint...
Ahoy, squirts. As a child of the '80s, a child obsessed with horror films no less, there was no way on God's green earth that I wasn't excited about FREDDY VS JASON. I followed the ups and downs of the project ever since I started writing for AICN. Matter of fact, one of my first script reviews ever was for a draft of FREDDY VS JASON... It was very troubled...
To my great surprise and pleasure the project shot into the fastlane seemingly out of nowhere late last year and Ronny Yu was brought on to direct. Anyone who has seen THE BRIDE WITH WHITE HAIR and the tone he was able to set in BRIDE OF CHUCKY couldn't help but be excited about that choice. Englund was back in the red and green (thank god... though I like NEW NIGHTMARE quite a bit, I call bullshit on trenchcoat Freddy) and all was right with the world...
But all the scripts that I had read (3 separate drafts by different writers) were missing the mark. One had a literal boxing match between Freddy and Jason in hell, complete with the boxing ring and boxing gloves... and another, which was much better, but still wrong, had Freddy as the man responsible for Jason's drowning as he was a counselor at Crystal Lake before moving to Elm Street... terrible... But I knew they weren't using any of these drafts for the film... still...
The doubt about the film was large in my mind as so far no one was able to even come close to figuring out how to make this movie as badass as it could be. Along the way I heard about the casting of a Destiny's Child member... whatever. That's fine. I heard about Katharine Isabelle. Fucking A. Ginger from GINGER SNAPS is always a good thing.
So, in short I was very much anticipating the film, but was trying to temper my excitement... trying to prepare myself for the worst... Luckily, I didn't need to. The film succeeds. They did it. Ronny did it, New Line did it, Robert Englund did it, Damian Shannon and Mark Swift did it... The final confrontation is fantastic. Jason kicks ass, Freddy kicks ass and they didn't punk out and have a "They both lost or neither won" ending.
The movie as a whole won me over. There are a few things that keep it from being a great film, however.
-It seems to me that the script was one draft away from being perfect. Too much of the plot is said and not shown. For instance, too many times it is said, "Freddy needs Jason because..." "Jason is doing this because..." "The kids of Elm Street have forgotten because..." That part lacks the subtlety it need to not feel tacked on for plot.
-Not that I watch horror films for great acting, but some of the acting in this film is distractingly bad. Monica Keena is a very cute girl, but some of her line deliveries are cringe-worthy. Kelly Rowland (the Destiny's Child chick) is a better actress if that tells you anything. Not all the acting, or even the majority of the acting is bad, though. Katharine Isabelle damn near steals the show... It doesn't hurt that we get a nice little peak at her glorious boobalies... hehe... Seriously, nudity aside she was the best at delivering some of the cornier lines and was in my opinion the most smartly written of the teens.
-A little too much CG work. I applaud the use of the practical effects that were used, especially for the kills. There's nothing like seeing a head plop off a neck shooting up geysers of blood and knowing it's a real effect.
-Graeme Revell's score... He hits the mark in a few place (the Alice in Wonderland homage and where it really counts at the beginning of the big brawl), but the rest of the score is pretty bland and a bit too eager to let in the audience on what's coming next. If it was up to me, I would have hired John Ottman. After hearing is awesome adaptation of John Carpenter's original score for H20, I'm positive he would have done marvelous things with Freddy and Jason's scores.
Now for the good and great parts of the flick:
-Ronny Yu's use of camera angles, color and pacing. Great stuff.
-The fighting between Freddy and Jason is super-fucking-cool. My only complaint about any of that is it should have lasted a reel more. Another 20 minutes of them stalking each other and brutally fucking each other would have been horror geek heaven.
-Katharine Isabelle's boobies
-Screenwriters Swift and Shannon did what I didn't think anyone was going to be able to do... Give the teens a real reason for being there. They weaved a nice little plot together that didn't make it feel the teens were just wasting time until Freddy and Jason had at it.
-Ken Kirzinger ruled all as Jason. I've met Kane Hodder a few times and love the personality he brought to Jason, but Ken makes it easy to ignore Kane's absence. Ken's Jason is the slow, sure Jason we know, but he's also able to be lightning quick when the situation calls for it, which makes from some great kills (especially the first one).
-The little bit we get at the dirty, disgusting child molester pre-burn Freddy. Great, dark stuff there.
-The complete willingness to gore up little 9 year old girls.
-Fantastic deaths and gore. You can't get much better than what is done here... Unless you're Takashi Miike, but then if Takashi Miike had directed FREDDY VS JASON, the ground would split and eat the entire human race for unleashing such awesome filth upon the world.
-The ending, which I will not spoil. Anyone who does so is a huge cock-ass. Whether you're a Jason supporter or a Freddy supporter (I myself found it hard to pick a side. Freddy has always been my favorite, but I love the FRIDAY THE 13TH films, even the shitty ones) you will be satisfied with the ending. They were able to do the impossible. Let one win over the other, but still give us a little something that wouldn't piss off half the audience.
Where do we go from here? There's all this talk about FREDDY AND JASON VS ASH... I want to say that's too fanboy sounding, but goddamnit that's what most were saying about FREDDY VS JASON. If it happens, I know I'll be in line.
That's it from me on this one, squirts. Go check this flick out. Be warned of a lack of subtlety in a few areas and some bad line delivery and you be alright. FREDDY VS JASON is a hard movie not to have fun with. Speaking as a hardcore '80s horror fan, I enjoyed the hell out of it. I've seen it twice already and will most likely see it at least once more in the theatre. Have some fun, squirts!
-Quint
email: Who's the seaman behind the mask? Email me here to find out!!!
