Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...
Holy crap, this sounds like some funny shit.
Hey Moriarty,
Glad to know you'll make it to Fant-Asia again. I'm writing about an evening I spent with Troma creator Lloyd Kaufman. Man, what an angry bitter man he is! He is in Montreal to promote his new “Make Your Own Damn Movie!” book and to conduct an “unfocused focus group” for the next Troma release, TALES FROM THE CRAPPER, which he called a “huge mistake” right off the bat. You should have hear him ranting about the idiots he gave 250 grands to direct two DV sex-and-gore exploitation flicks (one with cops facing an alien man-eating stripper, the other with high school kids facing vampire man-eating strippers) that turned out so crappy that he had to fire them and take over. What he did was to edit them down to what was less unwatchable and, since that didn’t leave much, he had the idea to make them part of a “Tales from the Crypt”-type anthology, with himself in a black garbage bag (!) hamming it up as the Crapkeeper!
This is clearly a “trouble project”: it looks like crap, it sounds like crap, and the actors are crap. The low-rent gore effects are cool, but the endless strippers and fake lesbians scenes aren’t sexy in the least. Then again, what could be the worst movie ever made is elevated into the funniest thing by Kaufman. You see, he added tons of dubbing, voice-over and commentary through the film, most of it viciously mocking how incompetent the filmmakers are! No flaw of the original footage isn’t pointed out, no actor isn’t ridiculed, an endless parade of dick and fart jokes has been added and when a scene is still too boring, it’s spiked with “Boner-Vision”, a picture-within-picture showing naked Tromettes!
This is still a pretty crappy flick, but the loud masturbating old man (“Bring on the BITCHES!”), the incredibly politically incorrect homosexual character (“Now you got the AIDS, baby!”) and Trey Parker’s cameo (“What do you call yourselves?” “The Aristocrats!”) made me laugh harder than anything else I've seen all year.
Call me NORM.
Thanks, man. I don’t always like the films Lloyd Kaufman makes or releases, but I love the fact that Lloyd Kaufman makes them. Troma remains one of the most unapologetic purveyors of shlock on the planet, and there’s such a glee to the way Lloyd does it all.
"Moriarty" out.
