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Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

I asked for them. I got them.

Harry and Co.,

Monday night I had the plaesure of seeing a sneak preview of “Hollywood Homicide” here in Omaha, NE. I really was pleasantly surprised with the movie. I was expecting a piece of shit with the only humor shown in the previews, but I was really surprised. This is by no means a great movie, but it is certainly better than most of the crap they put out there.

I wouldn’t call this an action-comedy. It’s more of a comedy movie, with a few action elements. The guy who wrote in a few days ago said that he felt the plot really wasn’t that important, and he’s right. In fact, I only have a few critiques of the movie. The first of which is that since its such a light-hearted movie, that the serious, police-thriller-esque “subplot” seems out of place. The “plot” is merely a device to move the movie along. It’s kind of a shame since Isiah Washington is the heavy, and he always seems so comfortable on screen. As is, he only has about 15-20 minutes of screen time, and never seems all that threatening until the last 20 minutes where he just runs and shoots at people.

Another critique is there are a few sub-plots involving the Internal Affairs investigating Ford’s spending habits and the death of Hartnet’s policeman father, but once again they don’t really add much to the story.

My final critique is that this movie pretty much confirms that Josh Hartnett can NOT act worth a damn. He’s not horrible, but he’s not very good either. It’s kind of distracting because he’s opposite Ford almost the whole movie and is totally out-acted and out-classed through the entire thing. It kinda flabber-gasts me that he and other actors like him keep getting these premium jobs. He does have a hilarious stunt during “the chase scene”, where I felt horrible for his stunt-man, but I was laughing my ass off at the same time.

The movie also has Keith David, Bruce Greenwood, and Martin Landau who are all fine, but pretty much wasted. Greenwood is a damn good actor who is asked here to just channel the same slime-ball characters from “Rules of Engagement” and “Double Jeopardy”. Lou Diamond Phillips is in the movie for 2 minutes for no other reason except a sight gag.

All in all, this is enjoyable, mindless fluff. This seems like a slight warm-up for Ford to slip back into the Indy role. So go in with your brain off, and enjoy a light-hearted comedy-action movie. It is all rather odd seeing a Harrison Ford movie with a rap soundtrack, but that’s just me. I’m outtie,

Damn Dirty Ape

Mixed to moderately positive. Not bad. Who’s next?

Dear Harry,

Here is my following review of "Hollywood Homicide." I caught it this past saturday at a sneak preview: enjoy:

Hollywood Homicide is a movie that's fun to watch, it has all the ingredients of the basic watchable movie, and the pacing of the film is slow enough for anyone to keep up wiht the plot. Speaking of the plot, I'll try not to ruin anything, but the trailers that you've seen show NOTHING! Absolutley Nothing! Sure, "Homicide" may look like your regular buddy cop movie, where opposites attract, bullets fly and people die, but THIS IS NOT IT! "Hollywood Homicide," deals with two people, Joe G. {Harrison Ford} and Kasey {Josh Hartnett} as they struggle to makes ends meat by juggling two jobs. Ford's character is a cop, as well as a real estate agent who is on the verge of making the sell of his career, and Hartnett's character is the partner of Ford's cop character, as well as a Yoga instructor. Okay, now for the "SUPPOSEDLY" MAIN PLOT OF THE STORY; four rap stars are killed in a hit one night, and our two heroes are assigned to the case. THeir investigation leads to a man named "Sartain," a big rap mogul who "lets go" of his clients, in a chilling manner so to speak. THere are also a couple of side plots, involving Bruce Greenword's character and Dwight Yoakman's character, whom of which, may have something to do with Hartnett's character. Now, this may seem like the main basis for all the characters and action to thrive on, but it isn't. As mentioned before, the story basically concentrates on the LIVES of two people, Ford and Hartnett. I could call this a documentary, but since it features an unrealistic yet awesome car chase at the end, I won't, although the film does come close to being a documentary. The real "magic" comes when Ford is putting on his real estate face, or when the sexy and talented Lena Olin appears on screen. Hartnett also shines for the first time in a long time, and Issaih Washington makes a decent villain, although it would be nice to see him in a role that doesn't have him on the run from cops. IN conclusion, this may seem like a really cheap movie that you might watch on a Sunday afternoon when it shows up on NBC or ABC, but it isn't! DO NOT LET THE PREVIEWS DECEIVE YOU! THis is one hell of a movie that was very well put together by Ron Shelton and the actors. IN fact, this is probably the best "cop" movie since Lethal Weapon ! and that's saying a lot! Anyways, please go check this movie out, if not, at least pay for it and then go sneak into another one, because Harrison definetly deserves our money for this flick! This has been the biggest movie buff of all time speaking, and I'm out!

Is Ron Shelton gonna get whacked by Suge Knight for making this film? Am I gonna get whacked by Suge Knight just for asking that question? Quick... on to the next review!!

My girlfriend and I sneak previewed HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE Saturday night in Phoenix. Reading the early reviews on this site, I was expecting to be disappointed. To my surprise, the film was entertaining. At the same time, I wonder if I was simply excited to be watching a Harrison Ford film, b/c if this had been, say, Hugh Grant and Josh Hartnett, it wouldn't have made a dent of an impression. There's a moment, one moment, where Ford looks 35 again, and the Empire Strikes Back fan in you will backflip.

The film, throughout, seems to understand that it dangerously teeters on the edge of being a redundant and unoriginal buddy film. For instance, you have the obligatory Good Cop/Bad Cop, Old Veteran/Young Rookie thing going on. You have the necessary car chases/foot chases/partners being separated by dangerous situations et al. You have the tedious subplot where the young guy (who doesn't really want to be a cop) is on the force to avenge his deceased father, who was killed in duty. You name the cliche, you got it, yet HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE manages to make the whole thing watchable and, even, humorous. It pokes enough fun at these standard cop-film plot devices to stay above water.

While the crime plot at the center of the screenplay is lifeless and convoluted (I won't waste your time with it), the film succeeds because Ford and Hartnett work well together.

While it has nothing original to say about crimesolving, the film shows that most cops work harried second careers to get by, and to make ends meet. Ford and Hartnett's characters are filled with outside ambitions. Ford's character, in particular, is hampered by loneliness, desolation, and a stocked liquor cabinet. He moonlights as a realtor, and making the big sell is a top priority - this leads to some quality moments. Hartnett's character wants to be an actor, and is on the verge of dropping his brief police career. Everybody they meet is (a) a potential homefront buyer or (b) in the industry. Predictable comic subplots ensue. We see that Ford and Hartnett trust each other with their reservations about the LAPD, and it places Ford in a father-figure role, which he plays well. Their loyalty to each other is winning.

What works in HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE is Ford. He's more enjoyable in this film than he's been in a while - it's refreshing to see Ford not take himself so seriously (i.e. it helped me forget about that submarine movie he did w/the Russian accent). Ford and Hartnett work well together, and the script does a good job of poking fun of Hartnett's prized looks etc. Both men share a complete disregard and lack of respect for dumb women — it works to Hartnett's advantage repeatedly (to the astonishment of Ford). I found myself enjoying their frequent jabs at each other and my girlfriend absolutely loved this movie. You know what you're getting into here: Ford and Hartnett rocking Hollywood's seedy landscape, fighting people on rooftops, driving around town like they're the shit. Three quarters of the theatre was there for Harrison Ford, a quarter (overanxious young girls) were there for Josh Hartnett. This film brought the house down on five or more occasions, jokes I didn't find THAT hilarious, but people were loving it. The guy next to us in the theatre ate at least six bags of popcorn, and made a ton of noise, while his wife talked constantly to the woman next to her (at one point talking about Costco's) which was distracting and made me depressed. Everybody's just looking for a good time, granted.

One other thing, somebody always has a drink in their hand during this movie. I found myself wanting a beer in a big way. An hour in, I whispered to my girlfriend, "Hey, can we go to a bar after this?" Later that night at barside, she made the comment, "We don't need more computer-generated HULK superhero movies this summer," she said. "We need more Harrison Ford."

I raised my glass to that statement.


Wow. That guy really dug it. Let’s see if the next guy felt the same way:

Hey Moriarty,

Long time reader of the site, first time I've ever wrote in with a review. Our local theater is pretty good about getting sneak peaks. In fact, I'd say about twice a month they do audience testings for certain films (I suffered through Gods and Generals, and most recently Pretty Dirty Things) and I was honestly excited about seeing Hollywood Homicide.

I'm only 23, so, my opinions may be a little different than others. I'm a huge film person (sold a script back in April of last year) and one thing I love seeing, are bad movies. Each and everyone of HH's commercials and previews scream "bad movie". From the 50 Cent commercial trying to attract the Josh Hartnett crowd to the Boys are Back in Town commercial aiming at the older ones out there, this movie has looked far from entertaining. Just another one of hollywood's fluff summer movies.

When I heard about the sneak peak, I ducked over to to check out the director. I've always liked being a little informed on who and what I'm sitting through, so, on a quick glance at his director roles I was actually a little excited to see if this would be a sleeper hit or not. Ron Shelton's movies are very hitandmiss with me. I love White Men Can't Jump, HATED Play it to the Bone.

To compare to his other movies, this one feels a lot like Tin Cup to be honest. For everything that Tin Cup gets right, it gets that much wrong. Every time there's a chance at humor in it, it's ruined by something annoying and sour. Much is the same with Hollywood Homicide.

The first hour of the movie (with the exception of the opening shot) is quite painful. Everything is all about setup. Shelton takes you into the lives of Joe Gavilan (Ford) and KC Calden (Hartnett) by showing you every single aspect of their life. Some stuff is helpful in understanding them, the rest of it is just wasted on making their characters look bad (for what happens to be a future Internal Affiars setup).

The story is simple: a band that is on the rising to fame gets mowed down in a nightclub - you've seen this much on the commercials. The detectives Gavilan and Calden are called in to investigate for their department, Hollywood Homicide. The back story to each character is somewhat important as it leads to tieins through the rest of the movie. Calden is a cop because his father was a cop, but lately has many other things going on in his life that he has decided maybe acting is in his future. Gavilan is struggling to meet the ends as a police detective and is selling real estate on the side to pay for his more high class life style. Each of the characters backlives play as jokes late in the movie, but the only ones that really pay off are Fords'. His character is the only one Shelton seems to work with in order to get jokes out of (just ignore Lou Diamond Phillips, his part is gone in under five minutes). Pretty boy Hartnett (who I actually appreciate, save for 40Days 40Nights) gets the bum end of the deal, mostly being the "my dad was killed on the job" kid of the movie. His humor is lost on jokes at his age and being a "swinger". Sad, because Hartnett usually brings life to characters that feel a lot more dull than they should - here he's just not given much to work with. His best comes from when he trys to practice his acting skills, because its the only real time he's given anything to act with.

Finally, an hour into the film, the two detectives get their first real break. They finally track down a witness to the shootings who knew the band members and may know the killers. This is where the film actually starts. This is where all the jokes and all the back stories start to tie-in and make sense. The scene you have all seen in the commercials, the prisoner yelling at the two detectives in the back of their car, is the scene where everything starts to take off. Fortuantly this first scene only goes on five minutes and this characters jokes are actually played off all in a hilarious water chase.

Ron Shelton seems to be doing a lot of things creatively lately. While I'm not a huge fan of Dark Blue, I was fascinated by how he managed to recreate the Rodney King riots, let alone actually film inside of the made-up-riot area. The budget and vision that would have required is just mindboggling to me. And so, when the last act of Hollywood Homicide starts (with a stupid, very, very stupid, pyschic scene) it yet again pays back to vision. The chase scene is amazing and probably overdoes 2 Fast 2 Furious on a few occasions. This last heated scene is where all this time spent dealing with and learning about these two detectives pays off.

So, as this long and tired review comes to an end, I can easily recommend the last hour of the film. The last hour is everything the commercials promise. Not enough payback for everything you suffer through the first hour of the film for, but, it is payback nonetheless.

Can I recommend the film? Sure. To people who lower their expectations just a little. You can't go in thinking you're going to see a good or even entertaining film. Just go in expecting something better than any Law and Order spinoff series would create and you're just about there. You'll come out thinking it was better than you thought it would be, but, it still just doesn't satisfy your need for a good cop movie.

Catch the flick on an early showing Friday or Saturday and head home and pop in your DVD copy of Die Hard. Turn the sound up. Lay back. And enjoy a GOOD cop movie. You won't have wasted your weekend this way.

Call me,


That wasn’t bad. Wasn’t great. This next guy, though... he had a gooooooooood time...

Moriarity and friends,

Im a long time reader and I love the site. I heard you were looking for reviews of HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE from Saturday's screening. I was there. Heres what I thought.

Let's face it, the whole buddy cop, action-comedy formula is nothing new to Hollywood. There is at least two or three released every year, if not more. Usually, the pairing consists of an ethnically challenged group like Eddie Murphy and Robert De Niro in SHOWTIME or Danny Glover and Mel Gibson in the LETHAL WEAPON films. One thing’s for sure; the mismatched pair can never get along in the film’s beginning…no matter what color they are. Gibson and Glover didn’t get along at the beginning of the first LETHAL WEAPON and if the trailers are any indication, the BAD BOYS (Martin Lawrence and Will Smith) are still having trouble in their second film. This rule doesn’t apply, however, for actors Josh Hartnett and Harrison Ford in their new film, HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE. The two play very different characters but they do get along. Actually, they seem to get along very well and the audience is rewarded for it. Unlike most of the buddy films released last year and the year before that for that matter, HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE is smart! The comedy is zany, slick, sharp-witted, and original, making it one of the funniest movies to come around in a good, long while.

In the film, Harrison Ford stars as veteran cop, Joe Gavilan, and Josh Hartnett is rookie cop K.C. Calden. Both are LAPD homicide detectives working together on the double-murder of a group of rap musicians named H20 Click (“don’t ask me why�) in a trendy nightclub. As Joe and K.C. dig further into the investigation, Joe finds himself warding off an unnecessary internal affairs investigation, while K.C., who is an aspiring actor, struggles to rehearse for the lead role once played by Marlon Brando in A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE. However, HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE isn’t only about cops and them cracking the case. It is also about real estate. Yes, real estate. You see, Ford’s character Joe, is a real estate agent on the side and several times during the film, the story will veer away from the investigation and into Ford’s real estate mishaps and it is absolutely hilarious! It’s something that has never been done in this genre of film before, if in any film ever!

Harrison Ford hasn̢۪t been this good in along time. If I were to go out on a limb I would say this is the best character he̢۪s played in his long career aside from Han Solo and Indiana Jones, of course. Ford is actually very good at comedy. He has a sly comic delivery that one doesn̢۪t see coming until it̢۪s rolled off his tongue. With someone like Jim Carrey, for example, we expect what he says to be funny but with someone like Harrison Ford we don̢۪t, so when it happens it̢۪s that much more hilarious. Watching Harrison Ford do comedy is like watching someone in a mall trip over their own feet right before your very eyes. You don̢۪t see it coming but when it happens its funny as hell.

Josh Hartnett isn̢۪t without comedic talent either, but it̢۪s less surprising because he already proved he could make us laugh with last years surprisingly good, 40 DAYS AND 40 NIGHTS. However, during some of HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE̢۪s more serious moments and without giving anything away, the film calls for some real emotion from Hartnett and he rises to the occasion, pulling it off with perfection. Even though HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE is mainly a comedy, this film gives Hartnett more of a chance to act that most of his previous films have done. With HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE and BLACK HAWK DOWN under his belt, I̢۪m convinced that, unlike Paul Walker who stars in this weeks 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS, Josh Hartnett can act and should be around for several years to come.

While the plot isn̢۪t exactly original and a few of the supporting actors are wasted in brief appearances (Lou Diamond Phillips and the hilarious - former gangster rapper, Kurupt, come to mind) HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE is one enjoyable summer movie. It̢۪s laugh out loud funny and has some great looking action scenes to boot. If you̢۪re a fan of buddy cop films this is the best one to come along in a long, long time, so don̢۪t miss it! If you plain just want to see a good movie or have a few, spare hours to kill then check out HOLLYWOOD HOMICIDE. By the time its over, you won̢۪t be able to deny the fun you had watching and would gladly welcome the thought of a sequel.

Call me LawDawg if you use this, and I sometimes write reviews and such for

I wish you all peace, love, and Eliza Dushku!

Okay... so we’ve had a few really positive and a few really mixed. Can we close it out on a high note?

Dear Moriarty,

I also saw the sneak preview of Hollywood Homicide saturday night.I decided to write in this review because it looks like only one other guy had something to say. I have to say that Harrison Ford has done something right this time. Due to box office failures such as K-19: The Widowmaker, he actually might have a hit on his hands here. It's not to say that this is a superb film though. But it is a very entertaining film that is worth the money in your wallet. Hollywood Homicide really doesn't relay on plot. The plot is about a rap group that gets gunned down in this nightclub for some reason and Harrison Ford and Josh Harnett are put on the case to find out Who? What? When? Where? Why? How? The story does however centers on the two main characters. Now this movie takes a huge step backwards, which is one of the main good points in the movie, by making the main characters actually like and care for each other, rather than try to rip each other throats out. The beginning scenen between these two is actually quite amusing. The movie is a mix between, Beverly Hills Cop and Rush Hour, which makes a delightful mix. If people are expecting all out comedy, then they've come to the wrong movie, we get a mix of comedy, action, and a pinch of drama. Josh Harnett actually play a character, rather than some yuppy wannabe teen freak trying to save Pearl Harbor or save his sex for 40 days and nights. Harrison Ford isn't some grumpy old cop that hates his job and hates his young partner. In fact, both of them have seperate jobs. Harrison Ford's character sells real estate and Josh Harnett's character is a cop, actor, and mind you, a yoga instructor. Josh Hartnett wants to quit the other two jobs and just become and actor all together. The yoga instructor is a gig pretty much to just get him laid. Ford and Harnett share some really funny scenes together and the last 20 minute car and foot chase is pretty much worth admission alone. I'm not going to put any spoilers in this because you all should see the movie with your own eyes. The audience with me laughed alot and none of them fell asleep so I'm guessing that they were quite entertained. They were even more happy when the projector went down and got a free pass to another movie. The only problem I would have to say I have in this film is the length of time. Even though it's under two hours I felt the film dragged on only a little bit and would've been better if it were maybe just a little about an hour and 30 minutes. But maybe I could be wrong since we really got into these characters and we actually cared and laughed with them. I have to say this is probably the best film Josh Hartnett has done but probably in the middle between all the Harrison Ford films. I'd give it an A- on my scale and ***1/2 Stars out of **** four for those of you who want an acurate rating.

This is Zach Alexander, chill out.

Side note: 16 years old

Okay... so maybe it’s not for everyone, but it certainly seems like it’s working for some people. Maybe I’ll brave the finger of doom when the film comes out and check it for myself.

"Moriarty" out.

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