Hey folks, Harry here with the latest contest to win some sort of glorious prize that can be yours... if you're willing to go through what it takes to get the prize you so dearly desire.

This time out we have two great prizes!

First: From SIDESHOW/WETA we have the most impressive sculpture yet... and at least for me, the most emotionally resonant of the lot so far. The STONE TROLLS STATUE! I'll never forget when I walked into that section of Weta in Wellington and came face to face with the Stone Trolls in actual size. It was... awesome. In FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING, you only see them for a short time, but to stand beneath them... it was the first time that I realized just how amazing these films were going to be.

This thing is huge, 8" H x 10.5" H x 16" L... weighing 30 lbs... this is one big hunk of beautifully crafty Polystone! Something this majestic, surely I've thought of a noble way for you to win this, but... where's the fun in that? So then I started thinking about Stone Trolls... I've already done the "Troll" gag for that Troll Bust that I gave away, so I can't do that again. But what about Stone. I could have people hurl stones at friends and get pictures of their bloody bludgeoned corpses, but that may be tough legally speaking. Stone. Stone. Stoned. Stoned Trolls. Heh... Ok. Here's what I'm gonna have you folks that want to own this magnificent STONE TROLLS sculpture... this work of majestic art.

Dress up as your favorite Lord of the Rings character, but taking a picture simulating them being STONED. Feel free to use any of that "Tobacco Ephemera" to make the picture more... "Authentic," but you have to look like the halfling's leaf has dulled your mind.... Ok? You can totally CHEECH & CHONG this picture out... build oversized "gear", whatever... But this is totally FOR FUN. WHATEVER YOU DO... DON'T DO DRUGS.... mmmmmm'kay? DRUGS ARE BAD.... mmmmmmm'kay? However you want to block or set up the photo, feel free... just imagine you're doing a contest for HIGH TIMES. If you want to construct a little mini-story to accompany the picture, feel free. But remember, chiefly the contest will judge the PHOTOGRAPH, which can't be an altered one from the movie, but of you or your friends or you & your friends as LOTR characters LOOKING stoned out of your skulls... Oh and remember, Tobacco causes cancer.... mmmmm'kay? and DRUGS ARE BAD.... mmmmm'kay?

Cool. Send the picture to SideShowToys@AintItCoolMail.Com by June 5th. In your email, include your shipping address and name. The best and funniest pictures will be put on the site - If you want your name kept secret on the page, just let me know... I understand how sensitive folks are about this type of humor... But this is for HUMOR not for REAL.... mmmmm'kay?

PLEASE NOTE: Sideshow / Weta Collectibles and Sideshow Collectibles does not set the themes or rules for AICN contests. These contest rules were solely the brainchild of Harry Knowles and AICN.

Now, we have a second contest this month from SideShow Collectibles which is the Xtra Salty R. Lee Ermey 12" Figure! To get an idea of the sort of blasphemy that can spew out of this toy, Click Here!!!

R. Lee Ermey is one of the all time great Geek Cult Actors. I had the absolute pleasure of getting to hang out at ungodly hours with Mr. Ermey while he was shooting his final night of work on the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE remake, and found that he is absolutely a character of the highest variety of colors. Absolutely amazing. For a bit, I thought of making folks make a stack of shit of equivalent height to yourself and take a picture of you standing next to it... but then I thought there might be zoning issues and neighbor complaints... so that was out. Instead, I decided that I'd do this... Send an account of the time in your life where you were verbally stripped of all honor and humiliated beyond any known comprehension. The story is to not be longer than 750 words. Be painfully honest, and you will be rewarded with this doll, with which you can masochistically live out that moment through out eternity or its battery life whichever may come first. Send your tales of abject humiliation to: SideShowToys@AintItCoolMail.Com by June 5th and perhaps you may win! Don't forget to include your mailing address, should you win!