Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
I’ve heard all sorts of buzz on this one, and I don’t know what to believe. Personally, I want to see it. I think it’s one of the few recent Crichton novels that actually deserved to be filmed, and I always root for Richard Donner. His one previous excursion into medeival imagery, LADYHAWKE, is a long time fave of mine, and I hope he manages to make this an uncommonly good time travel adventure.
Unfortunately, Mikey’s Best Pal didn’t think so:
Harry,
Last night I had the opportunity to attend an advance test screening here in Long Beach, CA of TIMELINE, the new movie based on the Michael Crichton book and directed by Richard Donner.
Although I’ve read several Crichton books before (all of which I’ve enjoyed), I had not read TIMELINE and knew very little about the story before seeing the film. Even though some of the filmed adaptations of Crichton’s work have been awful (most notably that heinous abomination THE LOST WORLD: JURASSIC PARK), I was very excited to see the movie. Add Richard Donner to the mix and I think it’s safe to say that my hopes were up high for TIMELINE to be fantastic. Unfortunately, it was not.
If I could give you a one-word description, it would be: BORING. It starts with a quick-cut prologue that goes too fast (it felt like about 90 seconds) and jumps around too much. This, actually, wouldn’t have been so bad if the events had a direct effect on anything that happens in the next half-hour of the movie, which was mind-numbingly boring. This is where they introduce the cardboard cut-out characters with the most trite dialogue possible. (Even my friend who was with me and liked the movie said he was ready to leave the theatre after this boring section of the film.) The movie picks up a little bit when the group travels back to 14th century France. But by then I didn’t really care about these characters at all.
When the group arrives in France they argue and yell at each other and escape from buildings/people. There is a lot of action, but with no emotional involvement in the characters it becomes mindless action (which, in some cases, is forgivable if the action is exciting enough...but for me it wasn’t). The key battle near the end, I must admit, has a visual set piece that is quite fantastic. Seeing the “trebuchets” catapult their massive fireballs into the sky was quite amazing, as well as seeing the sea of fire-tipped arrows sail through the air. Overall, the movie wasn’t terrible per se (the beginning being an exception), it was just really boring. There was nothing to care about or connect with in the film.
As for the acting, I thought the only actors who shined in their roles were Marton Csokas, Gerard Butler, and Anna Friel (whom I liked A LOT). Paul Walker and Ethan Embry were especially bad. David Thewlis, an actor I like very much, I thought gave his worst performance ever.
Anyway, Richard Donner was in attendance at the screening. Luckily I know what he looks like, so I took the opportunity to ask him about the likelihood of a sequel to THE GOONIES being made. He told me that, yes, he thinks it’s finally going to come together. Woo-hoo! GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!!!
Keep up the good work Harry,
Mikey’s Best Pal
Thanks, man. Sorry it wasn’t working for you. Here’s hoping they tweak the film until it works by the time it gets released.
"Moriarty" out.
