Hey folks, Harry here with a couple of reviews of HOUSE OF A 1000 CORPSES, a supremely unimpressive film of little note. I can only recommend this film as a curiousity, but not as a film. There are some odd quirks here and there, but for heaven's sake, don't pay full price to see this thing, unless you are very very very fucked up at the time, and then... only maybe. Here ya go...
Hi, Harry. I caught a midnight screening of the new Rob Zombie flick, and have just a thought or two.
Two questions have been on my mind for the longest regarding HOUSE OF 1K: How is Rob Zombie as a director, and exactly what level of violence are we talking about? As anyone who knows about it can tell you, numerous trips to the editing room had to be made to appease the M.P.A.A., which just can't put up with gore, and the film was at one point considered too "disturbing" or "shocking" -- I forget which, probably both; neither apply -- to even find a distributor. Hence, all the delays, and a rumored straight-to-video fate. So, now that Lion's Gate has stepped up, what are we left with?
Well. Dung, frankly. If I never have to see Michael J. Pollard in the movies again, it will be too soon. But, I shan't be sidetracked. A car full of teens pulls over for gas at a place called Capt. SpauldingÃs Museum of Monsters (which also sells fried chicken.. you following?), take a "death ride", want to visit the famous Doctor Satan murder site, wander off into the boonies and run slam-bang into a family of sick twists who proceed to torture and kill them. Oh, the fun.
Zombie is obviously trying to give us a throwback to Hershel Gordon Lewis, with the terrible acting, camp dialogue, profuse bloodshed, et. al. He takes it a step further by tossing in perverted imagery every other scene, and a score that keeps making the film act like it's driving toward something really, really insidious. But, we never get there. CORPSES, in its current state, doesn't have the balls to be truly exploitive or gruesome. It doesn't push the envelope on movie violence. At all. And, since that would seem to be the sole reason for its existence, the film better have something more going on than leaving us in the company of unsavory local serial killer-types all dressed up for "the simple pleasures of Halloween", doing ritualistic shit.
Nope. A couple of times the film threatens to get nasty; i.e. the "fish boy" sequence. And, a scalping scene. But, far too much of the brutality has been excised. The film runs a spare 88-minutes. Yes, it's a definite R, and the NC-17 DVD version will inevitably show more. But, getting away from the gore factor just a moment: above all, the film is incredibly dull. I wasn't disturbed or shocked; ten seconds of JEEPERS CREEPERS was more unnerving. I didn't go in looking for character development or Shakespearean nuance, but I didnÃt want to be bored, either.
Good use of music (including Zombie's own score), and haunted house-esque sets. I could see the film playing better, maybe, had it opened last October 31 like it was supposed to, but now? Now, it's like... whatever.
The End? God, I hope so.
you read his review of PHONE BOOTH, now he's endured HOATC...
hi harry
well what can i say? after feeling completely satisfied watching phonebooth i decided to give rob zombies so called horror-fest a shot. "the most shocking tale of carnage ever seen" was the tag, so naturally i expected gore a plenty and the claret to flow! what i got though was the worst piece of crap ever! it was laughable! was that the intention? i don't know but funny it was!
the story well, what story there was, was a blatant texas chainsaw rip-off, the acting extremely cheesing and as for the "carnage" well i have seen more carnage at a kindergarden! what was rob zombie thinking? did he honestly think that he was gonna revolutionise the horror industry? no wonder no studio wanted to distribute his movie. they obviously saw it for the turkey it was! the film was written and directed by the zombie man himself, his camera direction wasn't that bad and the use of negative picture images worked quite well, but there is no way he should've opened up and admitted he wrote it. im sure that if there are any rob zombie fans out there that have seen this movie they would have to agree...........it was shite!
there is one scene in the movie when a cop is on his knees with a gun to his head held by the bad guy, the camera pans back for a long distance shot and holds. 30 seconds later the cop is still there with the bad guy holding the gun...........another 30 seconds.............still on the same shot, zero movement.........is this supposed to be suspense? come on shoot the fucker..........after what seemed to be a life time the dude finally pulls the trigger and we have a dead cop! hurrah hurrah! it only took nearly two minutes yawn!
all in all everything about this movie sucked! it seemed more like a 90 min music vid than a horror movie..........do yourself a favour steer well clear...........if you wanna see some thing really scary watch plan 9 from outer space instead!
squifster
