Hey folks, Harry here... For the past 10 days, young Quint was deep undercover at the American Film Market to get the scoop on all the films showing there this year. The hard part was getting a badge, but on day one, he found a buyer that with only minor makeup work, he could look like, locked the guy in the trunk of a car, took his badge, added makeup and got the drop on everything. Over the next several days, he'll be revealing all on several films that you will want to see or avoid like the plague. Here he is with an appetizer...
Ahoy squirts! Everybody's favorite crusty ol' seaman, Quint, here about 24,000 feet above Palm Springs on my way back to the wonderful land of Tex-Mex (Austin). I figured I wouldn't take the easy way out and sleep on the flight and actually get a jump on my totally unauthorized coverage of the annual Santa Monica based AMERICAN FILM MARKET.
For those that don't know, the AFM is a place where mainly indie films and foreign flicks are presented to distributors from all over the world in order to sell distribution rights, both Domestic (US) and Foreign. Everything from direct to video schlock, to struggling studio flicks (ie DEVIL AND DANIEL WEBSTER) to just plain unknown indies to the newest Japanese films get presented to distributors here... I saw a fair amount of shit, some really good films and even some fucking great films. But those reviews will be coming later. Right now, I'll go into some of the stuff I found going through the 4 or 5 floors of exhibitors hocking their finished films and preselling others.
Now, the security at the AFM is tight. You are issued a photo badge, differently colored depending on whether you're an exhibitor or a distributor and are stopped at least 3 times on each floor to prove yourself. Like I said above, the AFM people didn't know I was there. To keep "the man" off my back (and to possibly sneak in by the same method next year) I cannot go into how I conned the AFM out of a Buyer's badge, but my ass would have been kicked out to the curb if they had known who I was and what movies I was getting in to. They do allow some press, but the access they get is super restricted. So, there I was... slinking around a hotel filled with uptight studio types and gaggles of foreigners... seeking out the coolness.
One of the first things I found was a huge, door sized glossy poster for a movie called THE CARD PLAYER, to be directed by DARIO ARGENTO. I have no idea what the film is about, but the poster was a huge king of hearts (suicide king) card with a skull face and a bloody sword. Interesting. Anything from Argento is something to look forward to. The poster mentioned that the cast wasn't signed, just verbally committed, though there was oddly no cast listing yet.
I also grabbed a mini-poster for one of the new films from one of my favorite working filmmakers, Takashi Miike. The film is called Deadly Outlaw Rekka and upon closer inspection I discovered none other than the streetfighter himself, Sonny Chiba, is in the flick. I'm dying to see what a Miike/Chiba teamup is going to look like.
Now for some of the bigger stuff... I found the big MIRAMAX room. I swiped a book that has some great stills from their upcoming releases, which you'll see as soon as I can get to a scanner. They had a big poster for the Johnny Depp/Kate Winslett JM Barrie flick, NEVERLAND, displayed on the wall. It looks good, Depp profiled shoulders up on one side, Winslett profiled shoulders up on the other side with some green trees and pirate ships cluttered in-between. Actually not a bad poster.
Next up was the New Line room... Hmmm... New Line room. They're pushing A MAN APART at the front and gave away some WILLARD mousepads (featuring a mousetrap design) and DUMB AND DUMBERER pencils that have erasers on both ends. The DUMB AND DUMBERER poster has the famous evolution of ape to man design, you know the one that starts off with primate, then goes to slightly more man-like, then to sasquatch, then to cave man then to man. This time it starts off with the young Lloyd (who is not the DELL GUY, but someone who looks freakishly like Jim Carrey), then goes to Young Lloyd, then to sasquatch, etc.
I also saw a promo trailer for DUMB AND DUMBERER that looked a little bit better than most are expecting, but then again most are expecting pure shit. We'll see. Troy Miller can have a good ear for comedy (ie his Mr. Show sketches and Tenacious D shorts). We'll see.
Also up were some pics of Secondhand Lions and Elf. Nothing too terribly amazing that needs describing, but nothing bad either.
What got my attention was the promotional FREDDY VS. JASON teaser poster that was up. Despite being the most obvious choice for a poster (Freddy's face really big on one side, glove up, Jason's mask really big on the other, machete up) it still got me fucking excited. I grew up with both horror series and love both with a passion. This film has been anticipated by me since before my voice broke and just seeing the two of them set up against each other on the poster... It made me smile.
That's about all I can think of right now. I'll be back with two very different reviews. One praising yet another great horror flick out of Japan and another ripping apart one of the most painful piece of shit, sorry excuse for a horror film coming out of America as well as a look at some really neat indies. And I'll also hit you folks with those stills I mentioned above. 'Til that day, this is Quint bidding you all a fond farewell and adieu.
-Quint
email: Did you underestimate my sneakiness? Shame on you! Email the sneaky seaman here!!!
