Hey folks, Harry here with a review of a British film that is just absolutely unmericiful. This is a really viscious look at a movie caled THE ONE AND ONLY with Richard Roxburgh and someone called Patsy Kensit, who this reviewer calls a low-rent Elizabeth Hurley... wow, and she's suuuuuuuuuuuuch a greaaaaaaaaaat actress herself... cough cough... Anyway, this is just one look at the film, what did you people think of it?
Hi Guys,
First-timer here.
Don’t know if this is worth a look ‘cos the film in question probably won’t set it’s gout ridden leg on Yankie soil, but anyhoo..
Saw a screening of a new Brit Rom-Com by the name of The One And Only last night. It stars Richard Roxburgh (Moulin Rouge, Van Helsing), Patsy Kensit (low-rent Elizabeth Hurley) and some other mugging shameful hams.
Sorry to delve into the cutting critique so soon but I have to say that this is the WORST British film I have ever seen, which pretty much means that The One and Only is the worst MOVIE I have ever seen period.
The over-complicated yet deceptively flimsy plot revolves around Roxburgh, a kitchen fitter who is stuck with a four-year-old kid after his crazy wife is killed in a car accident, – you’re laughing already right? Nothing like a mother dying in a car wreck to get those funny-bones a ticklin’! But alas no Big Daddy/About A Boy unconventional guardian hilarity here, oh no!
No because that would get in the way of the annoyingly irritating amount of establishing shots and not forgetting the KERAYEE Italian Soccer player who has walked onto the overly-lit set straight from a bad Pizza Commercial.
This character is just baffling, the style of the actor’s performance constantly grates against the ‘realistic’ setting, it’s like placing Paulie Shore into a Mike Leigh movie. I’ve never seen this actor before but my guess is that he does not originally hail from the land of Bud Spencer and Terence Hill, in fact I think he has never actually met an Italian person or probably has never heard of Italy as he seems to have based his two dimensional role on an angry chef from any Warner Bros cartoon you care to mention.
But whilst we are on the topic of accents it would be unfair to not give Roxburgh a mention.
Now I like the guy, I thought that he cruelly went without praise during the whole Moulin-madness and he turned in a pretty neat performance as Holmes in the recent BBC production of Baskervilles, but casting him as a Geordie is the final rusty nail in The One and Only’s excrement stained coffin. Now for all you non-Brits; a Geordie is someone who comes from the Northern city of Newcastle; Geordie’s have a very particular accent and.. let’s just say Roxburgh doesn’t pull it off. To give you a Stateside comparison; it would be the equivalent of casting Rupert Everett as a moonshine swigging Hillbilly!
And it just gets worse and worse; But it shouldn’t do, the movie is based on a Danish hit called ‘Den Eneste Ene’ which my girlfriend tells me is pretty good and it is written and directed by the makers of Our Friends In The North, which is a pretty decent TV Show in the UK.
Unfortunately it is just another casualty to the British way of making films; the industry never takes any chances, they always, always hand out movie deals to TV directors who have worked for the BBC for God knows how many years, without even considering maybe hiring fresh-blood. Such as a Brit answer to Kevin Smith or Raimi or errr Ridley Scott(?)
It makes me sob to think that this horrible, horrible soulless film is being screened at my local multi-plex when original genre product (an English rarity) such as Dog Soldiers and Death-Watch weren’t even released.
Over here whenever the high quality of US TV is praised critics always come back with the usual clichéd response; ‘Ahh yes but we only get the good U.S product, the dross is mercifully filtered..’ well it seems to work the other way around when it comes to movies; Brit-films seem to be held in the highest esteem in the U.S – but please bare in mind for every Billy Elliot or Bend it Like Beckham that reaches your shores there’s a thousand Kevin & Perrys, Guest House Paradisos and Mad Cows that Americans will never see. I can only hope that The One and Only is one of these.
Woooooo! I needed that!
If you use this please call me..
Austin Milbarge.
(Spy Like You)
