Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.
Mean Mr. Mustard isn’t so mean this morning. In fact, he’s downright complimentary. Seems he’s got a man-crush on Billy Bob Thornton and his work in Terry Zwigoff’s BAD SANTA. I’d heard some rumblings after the last test screening that maybe Dimension was going to fuck the producers around a little, but I’ve been assured by people close to the film that they are being treated well, and the test scores are so high that it looks like we can count on this one getting a major push next fall.
But after a review like this one, who wants to wait that long?!
Moriarty, Harry;
20, 30, maybe even 40 years from now, when people will look back on Billy Bob Thornton's career, it won't be Sling Blade, One False Move, or The Man Who Wasn't There that he will be truly remembered for. It sure won't be for studio junk like Bandits or Armageddon. It won't be for the 15 minutes that he was married to Angelina. And even if Billy wins an acting Oscar in the future, or has other great roles, or writes other great scripts, or directs more great films, it won't be for those either. No, Billy Bob from 2003 until eternity will always be remembered as Willie T, AKA BAD SANTA!
This is an Iconic role. Think of Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder in The Producers, Chevy Chase in the Vacation films, and John Belushi in Animal House. Yes, the role of Willie T. will now and forever be identified with Billy Bob Thornton. We all probably at one time read the reports that Bad Santa was developed with Bill Murray in mind, and he bailed out at the 11th hour, but trust me, Billy Bob IS Willie T!
And as for director Terry Zwigoff, I absolutely adored Ghost World, but I have to warn you that where Ghost World had many serious themes hidden below it's satire, and believable characters that we all know in one way or another- Bad Santa is the opposite-pure comedy with outrageous characters that you can't take seriously. If you are expecting another Ghost World you'll probably be disappointed. If you are expecting great comedy, you won't because Zwigoff, along with Billy Bob and The Coen Brothers who produced Bad Santa have created a comedy classic for generations to come.
I won't go into heavy plot detail, just the set up. Every Christmas season, Willie T. and his dwarf partner, Marcus (Tony Cox) get jobs at a mall in suburbia USA as Santa and his Elf only to wind up ripping off the major department stores on Christmas Eve after the mall has closed. Their latest target is a mall in Arizona, but with each passing year, Willie has become a bigger, meaner drunk, and poor Marcus has a harder time controlling him. Willie T. shows up to work late, stinking of booze and cigarette smoke and doesn't think twice about cursing out everyone around him, including the kids. Oh yes, he's also a sexaholic and likes to get busy in the department store dressing rooms. But an overweight, unpopular kid (Brett Kelly-who's like the kid brother of Chunk from The Goonies) takes a strange liking to this Santa. Meanwhile, The Mall Manager (John Ritter) and his Head of Security (Bernie Mac) start to get suspesious of Willie T. with his drunken shenanigans becoming harder for Marcus to cover for. Arriving home late from work/drinking, Willie notices that someone is snooping around his motel room. He has nothing in his room that will link him to any past or future crimes, only booze, so the plan for the hest is still on, Willie just needs a new place to crash until then. And since the Kid doesn't have a mom, and his Dad is serving time in jail, and his only guardian is his senile grandmother (Cloris Leachman), he decides to crash with them (by the way, he burglarized them the night before).
Bad Santa is far and away, the funniest film that I have seen in years, (so much more so than the upcoming Old School which I think AICN readers and writers have been way too kind to). Starting with Willie's opening scene where he is vomiting out his brains in his Santa outfit, to Tony Cox and Bernie Mac's assault with words on each other- this film is non stop laughs. And you will never, ever look at a Christmas film the same way again. What was the last Christmas film you saw where Santa, drunkenly tiring to get to his automobile after coming out of a car, almost gets it up the ass by a fellow patron? And Bad Santa has to have the record for the most "fucks" and the most creative uses of that dignified word put on film, and yes, I have seen every Scorsese and Tarantino film-Bad Santa still wins. Literally every word out of Willies mouth is Fuck in some way or another (ed, ing, er, s, mother, ass, you get the idea). No way in hell can Harvey Weinstein sugar code this film to a PG-13. Yes, it sounds tasteless, mean spirited, and vulgar, and it is all of that, but Bad Santa is also the funniest and dare I say it BEST Christmas themed movie that Hollywood has delivered since A Christmas Story. And if any recent film deserves a sequel, it's this one. Fuck your LOTR and Harry Potters Hollywood. I want to have a visit from Willie T. on the Silver Screen every Christmas season. Do you hear me Weinsteins!
Mean Mr. Mustard Out!
Oh, man... I wanna see this NOW!! NOW!! NOW!!
"Moriarty" out.
